RWBY: Time Travel, because why not?
by Aros R. Cao
Summary: In which Weiss accidently causes an inter-dimensional accident leading to hysterical hijinks by less than sane time-traveling, dimensional-jumping members of the RWBY cast, including but not limited to: jumping out of windows, flipping tables (literally and figuratively), and not-so-nice letters to Overlord Salem. Yes, you heard all of that right. (Time-Travel, AU,) Discontinued.
1. A Minor World Changing Accident

**Chapter I: Minor World Changing Incident**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY, that goes to the amazing Rooster Teeth.**

 **"In the multiverse there is an infinite amount of worlds, with infinite possibilities...or just happens to be a convenient way for an author to explain away a story." ~ ARK**

* * *

"Weiss?"

"Yes, Ruby?" answered Weiss distractedly. She reread the directions on her scroll. She carefully measured and poured fire dust into a beaker.

"Are you done yet?"

"No."

5 Minutes Later

"Weiss?" asked Ruby. She swung her feet boredly as she looked down from her bunk bed.

"Yes?"

"Are you done now?"

"No."

4 Minutes Later

"Wwweeeeiiiiss," Ruby drawled, spread out on her bed. "Are you done now?"

A tick mark appeared on the heiress's head as she struggled to concentrate. "No, Ruby."

3 Minutes Later

"Weiss!" Ruby exclaimed, appearing behind the white-haired girl. Startled, Weiss dropped all of the lightning dust into her mixture.

"You done now?"

Weiss stood abruptly and turned on the red-caped girl. "No," she snarled. "And I never will be if you keep insisting on bothering me!"

"Woah there, ice queen," said Ruby. "Just asking."

"For the fourteenth time this hour!" Weiss resisted the urge to use her glyphs on the younger girl for the umpteenth time that day. "This project is supposed to be a partner project too, you have no right to complain!"

Ruby stepped back. "I wasn't complaining. I just want to meet up with Blake and Yang already." The two other girls had gone to the practice grounds for some training.

"Well then-"

A fizzling sound from behind Weiss made her turn her head.

Her beaker shook and bubbling froth leaked steadily onto the table.

"Uh, is it supposed to do that?" asked Ruby.

"No dolt!" Weiss scrambled to her desk. "Get me some paper towels!" She grabbed the beaker as it became increasingly violent.

"R-right!" Ruby disappeared in a flutter of roses. The door was slammed open as she exited in a red blur.

One of the roses from her semblance happened to fall into the beaker. On impact, the dust erupted in a flurry of colors, filling the room in an instant.

A loud crash sliced through the room. Then a groan… and another crash. Weiss felt her chair fall to the floor from the impact of the second crash, and with it her. She realized dimly that said crash was just in front of her, where her desk stood… or used to stand.

"Ugh, where are we?" said a woman's surprisingly baritone voice. "And what's with the rainbow dust?" She coughed.

Weiss could feel the woman's aura from where she had fallen. It was all enveloping and strong.

"This better not be one of Nora's kidnap attempts," muttered another voice, it was elegant her but filled warmth. It vaguely reminded Weiss of her mother's voice when she was younger... before she changed.

Weiss shook away the thought. So they knew Nora then. Though Weiss had no idea why Nora would attempt kidnappings… or where she would get the time. Weiss decided not to think about it too much, the girl was likely insane after all.

"That would be… the third time this month," said a dry voice. "But didn't she just kidnap us?"

"Wait one sec," a higher pitched voice said. A sudden blur of red filled the room and Weiss felt the blow of wind that trailed behind it full front. All her hair was blown off of her face as the blur passed her. In an instant, the dust was cleared from the dorm through its door and forced open window.

A woman appeared in a flurry of roses. Chest length black hair with red outlines flowed to a stop as her single piercing silver eye examined the room. An eyepatch covered her left eye, a red rose insignia etched onto it. She wore a black coat with black lacings that crossed over a red shirt underneath. A black belt was slung at an angle over her hips and another from her hip to the top of her waist. Silver bullets adorned the belts. A red cape covered her left arm, two shoulder plates covered the cape, the top one decorated with the same rose insignia. The woman looked as if she could've been a carbon copy of Ruby… but older.

Another flurry of roses appeared through the door.

"Hey, Weiss! I've got your paper towel!" Ruby said. Her eyes widened as she noticed the four other women in the room, notably the silver eyed one. The paper towel roll dropped from her hand. "Mom?"

* * *

Ruby Rose was having a great night. Team RWBY, JNPR, and CFVY had all gotten together for an impromptu Beacon Reunion courtesy of one Nora. They had invaded a back alley bar, drink beer (minus Weiss), played some games (Cards Against Remnant was the best), and did a whole lot of random stuff (notably a 'who has the cooler weapon' contest, a 'who's killed a grimm the most violently' contest, a very intense thumb wars, and a 'what's the stupidest thing you've done this year?' contest) that had made the manager question their sanity. After Weiss paid the bar for the service and damages (courtesy of Yang, Nora, and Coco...and Weiss herself of all people), the teams had went their separate ways. One second, she was waiting under a building as Weiss called for a personal airship (having a rich friend rocked) and the next she was falling. She promptly landed on something soft, felt it break, and fell for the second time in as many minutes. The rainbow colored dust really was overkill.

So… when she cleared out the dust in the room to find herself standing in the middle of what looked like her first year Beacon team dorm (that had been destroyed ages ago) that even included a mini version of Weiss and herself (did she just call her mom?) her natural response was: "Must be the alcohol. Damn it, Yang."

* * *

 **Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic! Wish me luck. I'm starting a time-travel fic some of it because I was inspired by 'Remnant's Reclaimer' (which is totally amazing btw) but mostly because I'm kinda sick of the 'the universe is burning down and character goes back in time to save it' trope. (It doesn't help the MC is also usually suffering from some serious issues and that's depressing to read.) Why can't there just be a kinda happy go lucky time travel fic for RWBY?**

 **Constructive Criticism Pls.**

 **...and favorite...and review...and follow...**


	2. WEIKATT-T

**Chp II: When Basically Everyone Important Knows About the Time Travelers.**

 **Disclaimer: Yeah... don't own RWBY, that right goes to RT.**

 **"Craziness is a good thing, it's what makes life interesting... especially when people do entertainingly stupid things." ~ ARK**

* * *

 **Previously: "Must be the alchohol... damn it, Yang."**

"Hey!" Yang sat up from her self-made.. Ruby vaguely noted that the wooden splinters on the ground were from Weiss's old infamous 'Don't Touch or Die' table, which now didn't exist. "What did I do?"

Ruby spread her hands wide. "I don't know, maybe the beer has some hallucination properties?"

"It was good beer!"

"Beer isn't top notch in general," noted Blake. She sat easily at the top of the remaining bunk bed. Oum dammit, did she have to be so graceful all the time? "But… I think we can rule out hallucinations. People can't have mass hallucinations...usually."

"Magic then," said Ruby.

Yang groaned. "Trust me, no magic was involved."

"How do you know?" challenged Ruby.

"I trained myself after the 'F-"

"NO!" yelled all four members of Team RWBY.

Red creeped up Weiss's face. "We promised not to talk about that."

"Wait, wait!" Mini-Ruby made an x-sign with her arms. "W-what's going on?"

"That's what we'd love to know," said Ruby. "Which is why we're eliminating possibilities."

"How is magic a possibility?" asked Mini-Weiss incredulously. She stood up and brushed splinters off her dress.

Weiss gave the mini-her a look. "You have no idea."

"But magic doesn't exist."

Yang started whistling a tune. She pushed herself off the ground and staggered. The blonde put a hand on a bunk bed to steady herself. "Okay, maybe I had a little too much beer."

"I told you so," said Weiss, unimpressed.

"Just because-"

"We're getting off topic," Blake interrupted before the two could start their daily dose of pointless argument... which usually lasted for around an hour. "I think I've found an answer...time travel."

The only thing that could be heard in the room was crickets. Which was weird considering it was the middle of a sunny day.

"...We've seen stranger things," said Ruby finally.

Yang nodded empathetically. "Like a drunk Weiss."

"Hey!" Both Weisses exclaimed.

"Wait," said Mini-Weiss. "I've been drunk?"

"Time-travel?" asked mini-Ruby. "So…" she pointed at Ruby. "You're not my mom."

"Oh, Oum no, that would be horrifying," said Ruby. She looked at Blake. "Don't get any ideas, kitten."

Blake looked away.

"...but you're me?"

Ruby shrugged. "Time-travel, guess so."

"That. Is. So. COOL!"

"Scream louder," deadpanned Blake. "Menagerie hasn't heard you yet."

Ruby winced. "I don't remember having microphone vocal cords."

"You did," said Weiss. "It was horrible...until you were forced to get used to it."

Four heads suddenly appeared stacked like a totem at the doorway.

"Is there a party going on?" asked a certain orange haired individual. "'Cause we weren't invited!""

Yang pointed victoriously at Nora. "Yes! It was all her fault! Not mine! She kidnapped us!"

Nora blinked. "Did I do something?"

Ren sighed. "Probably."

The rest of Team JNPR nodded in agreement.

"Technically, you bought the beer," said Ruby. "So it's your fault."

Weiss sighed, but an amused smile lit her face. "Only you could somehow get time-traveling beer."

"Time-travel?" asked Jaune. "What time-travel?"

"Meet future RWBY!" exclaimed Ruby, waving proudly at the ensemble of women.

"They're… from the future?" asked Pyrrha slowly.

Four pairs of eyes swiveled toward the Spartan, the eyes' owners alll had the same thoughts in their heads...to varying degrees of course. Pyrrha's alive, and they want to keep it that way.

Pyrrha shifted uncomfortably from the gaze of the four time-travelers, impressive seeing as she was stacked on top of Jaune.

"Time-travel?" asked a younger Yang, suddenly appearing at the doorway. The younger version of Blake hovered behind her JNPR toppled over in surprised and fell into an undignified heap on the floor. Muffled groans could be heard as they tried to get up.

Yang gave two thumbs up. "Yep, pretty cool right?...or hot in my case."

Cue synchronized groans.

Younger Yang's eyes lit up. "This is so gonna be yangsome! Literally!"

"They're multiplying…" muttered Blake with a shiver. "The English language is doomed."

Younger Blake stood nervously at the doorway. Her eyes fixated on Blake's head, where two cat ears were clearly visible.

Ruby walked over to the incognito cat-faunus. "I don't remember you being this small."

Blake jumped down from her perch. "I don't remember being that small either."

"Well, at least I grew up to be taller than you."

"You didn't," said Blake.

"Ears don't count!"

"They're a part of me, they have to count," Blake raised an eyebrow. "Unless you're saying-"

"Don't play the faunus-rights card on me," grumbled Ruby, arms crossed. "Besides, since _I_ don't have cat-ears, they should be disqualified."

Blake rolled her amber eyes. "I'm against that decision."

"You just won't admit I'm taller than you."

"No, I'm saying-"

"Anyways ~ Before we went off track," said Ruby, turning back to the younger Blake. "I was going to say, you've got nothing to worry about, both about your heritage and history… so don't go running away or doing some crazy stuff like that." The last part was directed towards the other car-faunus in the room.

Blake coughed inter her fist. "What Ruby's saying is that you should tell them about yourself. They'll understand, even Weiss."

The younger cat-faunus started to respond. "I-"

"Hangover's gone!" exclaimed Yang loudly, releasing her grip on the bunk bed. "We're in the past, ladies. Let's do some shit!" She promptly jumped out the window, face first for good measure.

Team JNPR and past Team RWBY watched the scene with wide eyes and gaping mouths.

"...what just happened?" asked Jaune.

"...I believe future Yang just jumped out the window," said mini-Weiss slowly.

"Show off," scoffed Weiss, crossing her arms.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: So yeah, second chapter! Nothing much to say here. Mostly just a realization and exposition chp.**

 **Constructive Criticism Plz.**

 **...aaannnddd favorite, review, follow.**


	3. More Developments

**Chp III: More Developments...**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY, Rooster Teeth does. And its a good thing they do, 'cause I'd have no idea what I was doing!**

 **"You know that insane friend/family member you happened to have? ...yeah." ~ ARK**

* * *

 **Previously: "Hangover's gone!" exclaimed Yang loudly, releasing her grip on the bunk bed. "We're in the past, ladies. Let's do some shit!" She promptly jumped out the window, face first for good measure.**

"Yang. Your. Future. Self. Is. Awesome!" exclaimed Nora. She spread her arms wide. "I've always wanted to do that!"

Ren face-palmed. "Please, no." He really didn't need that. Nora was enough, Nora jumping out windows was _horrifying._

Mini-Ruby zoomed to the window. She peered down. Disrupted leaves swirled in the wind, but no Yang was to be found. Future or otherwise.

"Whoa!" She stumbled back as an eagle suddenly appeared. It flew straight past and cawed mockingly.

"Move," Mini-Weiss commanded. She pushed aside the girl. "Where's the future idiot?"

"Yeah, where's-" Yang paused. "Hey!"

Weiss shrugged. "She flew off."

Her younger self gave her a disbelieving look. "What."

Jaune pointed at the window and looked at Ruby incredulously. "Your sister just jumped out the window!"

Ruby looked at him. "No duh."

"Shouldn't you, I don't know. Do _something_?"

"Nah," said Ruby. "She's fine."

Mini-Blake looked between Ruby and the window as though she was trying to figure out a difficult equation. Frankly, she _was._ Like when Yang became insane enough that her teammates just shrugged when the blonde jumped out of windows.

Pyrrha looked worriedly at the window. "Do you two see anything?"

"No," said mini-Ruby. "We've got nothing."

"Does this sorta thing happen a lot or something?" asked the remaining Yang. A mixture of ' _I'm freaking amazing'_ and ' _what the fuck is wrong with me?'_ on her face.

"Every week or so," replied Weiss distractedly. She looked up and down the destroyed bunk bed courtesy of Ruby. "You know, I always knew these things were unstable."

"Yes! Someone finally agrees with me!" said mini-Weiss victoriously.

"You agreed with yourself," corrected Yang. "Now can we please go back to how the future me just _jumped out the window_ _and is nowhere to be found?!_ "

The white haired girl huffed. "Well it seems her teammates aren't particularly worried."

Ruby was back to reassuring mini-Blake with future Blake. The red-caped woman using various unusual hand gestures. Weiss had pulled out an advanced scroll and was typing on it, every once in a while she would frown. All three members of future Team RWBY had an air of complete normalcy to them.

Then Ruby and Blake seemed to have a mini debate, where mini-Blake looked distinctively uncomfortable in the middle.

Ruby suddenly threw up her hands. "Guess I'll talk to Ozpin then. He knows a lot about weird situations."

"Oh, oh! Can I come?" asked mini-Ruby, seeing an opportunity to spend more time with her admittedly _awesome_ older self.

Ruby used her speed semblance to appear in front of the younger version of herself. She ruffled the girl's hair and peered down at the mini-Ruby.

"Man, I was a cute kid. Real enthusiastic too." She paused, reminiscing. "No."

Then she was gone, leaving behind fluttering roses in her wake.

Mini-Ruby pouted. "Why not?"

Blake looked down at her own younger self and sighed, sensing a migraine coming up. "Now seems like a good time to tell everyone our life story."

Younger Blake deflated.

* * *

The elevator was maddenly slow, somehow slower than any memories Ruby had of using it in the past. She chalked that up as to her having the attention span of a pigeon back then. Seriously, for one of the best academies in the world, this thing seemed to go on forever. She could've used the stairs, if they had any (and why, oh why, was there no stairs?) and gone faster just by _walking_. It really didn't help that the elevator stereos kept on blasting old rock music.

' _Its YMRA!'_ Ruby groaned. Why on Remnant did Ozpin have such bad musical taste?

* * *

"I'm a faunus," started younger Blake nervously. She untied and pulled out her bow, revealing her cat ears. Team RWBY, JNPR, and _WB_ had situated themselves around the dorm. Yang leaned on the window sill, Ruby sat on the floor next to her, and Mini-Weiss stood with crossed arms next to the remains of her desk. Jaune tried to simulate Yang, crossing his arms and leaning backwards. He found nothing but air behind him and fell. Pyrrha helped him up. Nora jumped up and down on top of the remaining bunk bed. Ren just stood by it, looking at the two Blakes in the middle of the room. Future Weiss was still looked down at her scroll, ignoring the conversation happening around her.

"Yeah…" said Ruby. She twirled her fingers around the top of her head, indicating the location where Blake's ears were. "Future you kinda made that obvious."

Awkward silence filled the room.

"Oh, oh! Can I touch them?" asked Nora, still jumping on top of Yang's bed.

"Um…" The younger Blake shifted uncomfortably at the question. She didn't really want a hyperactive girl touching her ears.

"No," answered her older self for her. Mini-Blake let out a sigh of relief.

"But they look so fluffy…" muttered Nora. "...and I've never pet a cat."

Mini-Blake's ears twitched irritably. "I am _not_ a cat." The older Blake chuckled. Who knew seeing your younger self act can be so entertaining?

Pyrrha looked at the cat-faunus. "Is it... unusual having four ears?"

"It's… actually pretty normal for me," said younger Blake. She had only ever had four ears after all… and she never really thought of it that way.

"What _I_ want to know is why you hid your heritage from us. Your _teammates._ " Mini-Weiss said. Her face was a mixture of accusation and hurt. Ruby nodded in agreement, looking serious for a rare change.

Blake nudged her younger self. "It's better to get it all out now rather than later. Trust me."

The younger faunus took in a deep breath. Who can you trust more than yourself, after all? "Are you familiar with the White Fang?"

* * *

The elevator _finally_ let out a ping as its door opened. Ruby let out a sigh of relief, she would rather fight a horde of beowulf any day than experience 'the Killer Elevator with Horrifying Music' (as she had dubbed it) again. She walked out, looking around the large office, which she personally thought was overkill. Clock mechanics clicked steadily as they spun lazily on the roof and a lone desk was situated at the end of the circular room. At it sat Glynda, who studiously looked through papers and stamped them one by one. She looked up as Ruby walked closer to the desk. Glynda promptly dropped her stamp with a thud.

" _Summer_?"

Ruby looked at the woman dully. "Is this seriously going to be a thing now?"

* * *

 **Author's Notes: And Chp 3 is up! ...and I just noticed I didn't put any disclaimers on my chps... better get on that. Wouldn't want Rooster Teeth coming onto me! (I love those guys, but y'know) Kinda sucked there was a lack of Yang this chp. next chp. should fix that prob if everything goes as plan. Btw. Does anyone read the A/N cause I know I usually don't... O_0. Thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows!**

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Nightwing2013: Awesome. Hopes my story doesn't disappoint!**

 **Dev the snake faunus: Lol. I'd love to see where your OC goes if you ever continue your story.**

 **merendinoemiliano: I actually have no plans for Bumblebee... and with two Blakes running around there's a lot of opportunities! *wink.**

 **snoogenz: Nyahahaha! Oh yes...**

* * *

 **Constructive Criticism Plz, wanna make the story better!**

 **Please Review, Favorite, and Follow!**


	4. Story Time

**Chapter IV: Telling Stories**

 **Disclaimer: I will probably never own RWBY, the people at RT do.**

 **"When you realize you've neglected your Gmail for a while... and then see it had collected about a million messages in retaliation..." ~ ARK**

* * *

 **Previously: " _Summer?_ "**

Glynda took a second look at the woman standing before her. On second glance, the woman had notable differences between herself and Summer. Her face was rounder, her eyes were sharper, and she generally had a broader complexion.

"R-right, my apologies. You just look so much like her." She could have been Summer's twin.

The woman rolled her visible eye. "Seriously? I'd think the eyepatch with the _red rose_ on it would tell people 'hey, wrong Rose!'"

"'Cause I swear, if I hear-"

" _Summer?_ " An elevator door to reveal Ozpin. His coffee mug dropped to the floor with a thud and broke into pieces on impact.

The raven-haired woman let out a long suffering sigh. "Oum dammit." She turned to the Headmaster. "No, Ozzie. I'm not Summer."

"Of course," said Ozpin quickly. He carefully walked over the shattered pieces of Maple Mug. With a silent prayer to his old friend (that was always by his side), he directed his attention to the silver-eyed woman. "Then may I ask who you are?"

"Ruby Rose, at your service," the woman introduced herself. "Most amazing huntress to ever grace Remnant."

"'Ruby Rose'?" repeated Glynda. The woman _did_ have clothing unusually reminiscent of a certain troublemaker in Beacon Academy.

Ruby snorted. "You might know me as the loudmouth, hyperactive leader of team RWBY."

Ozpin gave the red-caped woman a once-over. "Ms. Rose, I didn't realize a person could grow over a head taller in one night."

"Yeah… I think Team RWBY, _my_ Team RWBY may have traveled back in time, " said Ruby, scratching the back of her head.

Ozpin walked over to his desk. Glynda gave way to her boss and Ozpin slid into the Headmaster's chair. He laced together his fingers. "Time-travel?"

"Preposterous," said Glynda, making her opinion well-known. People do not just simply travel through time.

Ozpin's eyes glazed over. "Have you made contact with your younger selves?"

"We kinda… dropped in on them." Ruby summed up the encounter perfectly.

The Headmaster looked at Ruby. "And do you remember ever meeting your older selves?"

Ruby blinked. "No. That's… actually a good point." She was pretty sure her memory wasn't so bad that she'd forget meeting an older version of herself. She wasn't _that_ old.

"So if it's not time-travel then what is it?" asked Ruby pointedly.

"Perhaps… world-jumping," said Ozpin. He looked distinctly unsettled by the thought.

Ruby nodded slowly. "Like the multiverse theory."

"You are aware of it?"

"When you date a bookworm and author, you tend to learn stuff like that."

"That would make sense," continued Ruby. "We don't remember the event because it never happened to us. And we don't have to worry about paradoxes because this is a completely different world… seriously, how convenient." Now she didn't have to worry about her batshit insane older sister breaking the world.

Ozpin nodded. "Yes, now why don't you tell me and Glynda here how you managed to jump universes, a feat that should be by all means impossible."

* * *

"The White Fang?" asked mini-Weiss. "Of course, who hasn't heard of those awful degenerates?"

Blake looked over at Weiss. The white-haired woman had covered her face with a gloved hand.

"Your younger self certainly has a vocabulary," said Blake in amusement.

"Please, don't remind me."

She looked back at her younger self, who had noticeably tensed up. A glint of hope was evident in her eyes as she watched Blake and Weiss and their comfortable positions on each other. Blake touched the other faunus's shoulder.

"Just let it out," she said.

"WellIwaskindofapartofit," said mini-Blake in a rush.

"Er, did anyone else pick up what she said?" asked Jaune. He was promptly ignored by everyone in the room.

"You… were a part of the White Fang," clarified Pyrrha slowly.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Nora. "So you were a part of the mafia?"

Ren sighed. "I don't think the White Fang counts as a mafia."

Mini-Weiss stepped back. "White Fang? You mean _you_ were a part of that group?"

Ruby looked worriedly between the two. "Past tense, right? Not any more? Quit?"

"Used to," clarified Blake. "I'm not in it anymore… they've lost their way."

Mini-Weiss looked to her older self. Weiss closely watched the reactions of the younger teams.

"Weiss?" asked the younger Weiss.

"Woah," said Yang. "Vertigo." She shifted her position, looking uncomfortable. It's not everyday your partner turns out to have a past in one of the most notorious terrorist organizations in Remnant after all. It was so weird she couldn't even think of a pun! Blasphemy!

"Yes?" answered Weiss, ignoring the blonde.

"You know about Blake's past… and accepted it, right?"

Weiss gazed at her younger self. "I think it's your decision to make. If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that the freedom to choose _matters_."

"..." Mini-Weiss turned towards the younger cat-faunus in the room. "How did someone like you get associated with the White Fang anyway?"

* * *

The expression on her little, little sister's face was priceless. Oh, the shock! Where had Yang gone? And then mini-Weiss had joined in complete disbelief. It was hilarious when Yang had simply flew past them and they didn't even noticed. She missed the days where magic freaked out everyone. Oh, yes, Yang could get used to the whole time-traveling gig.

She flew past Emerald Forest, ignoring the small Nevermores in the sky. Yang Xiao Long was on a mission, and there was no stopping her. After all, she was yangtastic...even she had to admit that was bad.

* * *

"Alright so…" Ruby laid out the details of the night before (after? now?) to Ozpin.

* * *

" _I have a bad feeling about today," said Weiss with a shiver. "Call it initiation."_

" _Come on!" Yang sling an arm around the petite woman's shoulders. "Warm up, ice queen!" She pressed a light kiss on Weiss's cheek._

" _I hate that nickname," muttered Weiss._

 _Ruby came out of the kitchen, balancing microwaved burritos. "Dinner's ready!"_

 _Blake sat on the couch, writing on her scroll. "What are we doing, exactly?" she asked without even looking up._

" _Movie night!" exclaimed Yang. A remote suddenly appeared in her hand. "What'll it be? Game of Thrones? Stranger Things? That documentation they're doing about us for some strange reason?"_

 _Blake looked up from her Scroll, a deadpan look on her face. "Those are all shows, not movies."_

 _Weiss looked distinctly unimpressed by the microwaved burritos. "Is_ that _the best you could do?"_

" _You try!" defended Ruby. "Cooking is_ boring." _Microwaveable food was so much better in every way. Seriously, who had the time to stand in front of a stove for thirty minutes or so? There wasn't even a difference in flavor most of the time._

" _Not really," said Yang. "Just takes some hot skills. Eh? Guys?"_

 _Somehow all three of her teammates managed to make a synchronised face-palm (it took a lot of practice...and they had a lot of sessions)._

" _Yang," Blake said. "Your cooking inventory includes hamburgers and instant ramen."_

" _Says the tuna master!"_

" _At least tuna can make a lot of things!"_

" _Who in the world makes tuna cake?! Lady, you have a problem!"_

 _Ruby looked over at Weiss as Yang and Blake's argument quickly went into the realm of the unknown. "I still cook better than you, kitchen burner."_

 _Weiss bristled. "For your information, that was an…." The white-haired woman felt her limbs suddenly gave way. In an instant she had lost consciousness and fell limp to the floor._

" _Weiss!" Ruby shook her long-time partner. She looked up. Both Blake and Yang had drifting off into nothingness. Yang especially made a loud thump as she fell face-first. Who could possibly be responsible for this? She felt her eyelids flutter downwards. "Ugh…" Ruby struggled but failed to stay awake, falling on top of Weiss._

" _Mwahahahaha!" loud laughter resounded through the living room. "Kidnapping is a success!"_

" _Technically, you haven't kidnapped them yet," pointed out a woman's voice._

" _Shut up and let me enjoy the moment."_

* * *

 _Ruby jolted awake. Her first reaction was '_ what the hell?'. _Her second was to leap out of the chair she was sitting in. She moved into a low attacking position, Crescent Rose extending in her hands. Then she blinked._

 _Serene music flowed through the room she had woken up in. Tables surrounded a circle center. Said center was, for lack of a better word, a bar center. Strangers stared at her with wide eyes. What looked like a barman dropped the wine glass he was cleaning._

 _Ruby looked back at the table where her chair had been. She instantly recognized Team CFVY and JNPR as well as her own comatose teammates. She centered her eyes on a certain lab coat wearing man._

" _...Jaune? Mind telling me why you're holding a giant syringe in your hand?" She deactivated Crescent Rose and several sighs of relief could be heard throughout the building._

 _The blonde waved said syringe around. "Had to wake you up. Nora thought it would be funny to use my in-progress sleeping dust on you guys."_

 _Said woman leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms behind her head. "Don't you guys like being guinea pigs? I heard Jaune needed test subjects."_

" _I don't think he meant people test subjects," said Ren drily. "...Nora, where did you get 'kidnap team RWBY' from 'invite team RWBY to the alleyway bar'?"_

" _Hon, it worked."_

 _Jaune moved onto Weiss. Then he paused. "On second thought…." He walked over to Blake and readied his syringe._

 _Ruby fell back into her own seat. She looked at the ginger across from her. "Penny, why did you let Nora kidnap us?"_

 _The grey-coat wearing robot shrugged. "I calculated that no matter what I would do, Nora would find a way to achieve her goal."_

 _Nora cackled. "Oh yes, girlfriend!"_

" _..." Fox turned his head between Nora and Penny. "Coco, I'm glad your boyfriend was the one to pick us up."_

 _The fashionette put her feet on the table to the beaten look of the barmen. "If Jaune had made Nora and Penny get us, I'd have kicked his ass."_

 _Nora whistled. "Whipped."_

 _Jaune promptly ignored his old teammate and inserted the needle into Blake's left arm._

 _The cat faunus's hair sticked up on its ends. She shot up onto the roof and clinged on, on reflex._

" _One down, two to go," muttered Jaune._

 _Ruby waved at her girlfriend. Blake jumped down._

" _What. Was._ That?" _Blake smoothened out her frizzled hair._

" _DON'T TRUST STAIRS!" yelled Yang, jolting awake. She slumped back on her chair. "...they're always up to something."_

 _Yatsuhashi chuckled. He looked around as everyone stared. "What? I thought it was funny."_

 _Blake's left eye twitched. "The first thing out of her mouth was a pun. Of course."_

 _Yang looked around. "Hey guys, what's up?"_

" _The sky," Blake muttered._

 _Jaune put use his syringe to the final member of Team RWBY. Weiss's eyes flashed open as three glowing white beowulf appeared. They crash-landed on the table, crushing it. Just as sudden as they appeared, the beowulf were gone._

" _... what's going on?" asked Weiss. She looked at the smashed table. "And why are we sitting at a destroyed table?"_

" _I knew saving her for last was a good idea... " mumbled Jaune._

 _The three teams fell into silence._

" _Well, place looks like a bar... and I'm an expert on bars," said Yang. She raised her hand. "Drink's on me, guys!"_

* * *

"...and then weird stuff happened and we fell, literally, into Team RWBY's dorm," finished Ruby.

"And you believe the beer your sister bought was responsible for this?" asked Ozpin, not really seeing the connection.

Ruby shrugged. "Yang's the one who knows magic and magic does weird stuff. That comes from personal experience by the way."

"This future Yang knows magic?" asked Glynda incredulously. Future Team RWBY was weird enough, a future where the most hot headed (sometimes literally) huntress-in-training could use magic… she suddenly felt bad for her older self.

"Well, she _is_ the Fall Maiden."

"...excuse me?" asked Ozpin.

"Yang's. The. Fall. Maiden." said Ruby, puncturing in each point.

Glynda pinched her nose. "I'm suddenly very worried about your world's future."

Ozpin stored away the information for later discussion. "And you are certain there was no other cause, possibly from this world, that caused you to travel here? It seems quite suspicious that both future Team JNPR and Team CFVY have not also traveled into this universe, yet they too, drank the beer."

"...no?"

Ozpin looked at the future version of one of his most prized students. "You'd better get on it then."

Ruby glared at Ozpin. "Ozzie, are you telling me that I just spent-" she checked one of the many clocks in the room "-about 30 minutes telling you what happened for possibly _nothing_?"

The Headmaster just gave Ruby an infuriatingly smug look. Ruby growled.

* * *

Yang flew lower and transformed back into a human. She tumbled a little before steadying herself. She looked around the lush forest she had dropped in on.

"I'm _sure_ I saw a village around here somewhere," she muttered to herself. Yang wandered around for a bit. Without looking, she blew away some Grimm with Ember Celica as they approached her. Finally, her ears picked up on some voices. She pushed away leaves to find herself standing at the edge of a busy town center.

"Voila," she said. Her stomach grumbled. Yang grinned. "Let's go get me some food."

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Another chapter is done (and possible polished)! Man, this one was long compared to the others... and I'll probably do a short chapter on Future Yang's adventures in Random Ville next. Oh and how'd you like Scientist!Jaune? It stemmed from a really weird idea in my brain... Also, it's a pain to edit this on a mobile device...**

* * *

 **Review Responses**

 **snoongenz: Do you? Or do you not? (My story's gonna stay humorous either way).**

 **Dev the snake faunus: Nice. Good luck on that computer (tech problems suck.)**

 **dub77: Here's a little bit of future JNPR! I kind of followed a fan theory where a rebuilt (but different) Penny joined JN_R on that one. The grimm thing will be answered next chapter and your idea is actually really cool. What would happen? I know a little about not writing another language that well (Chinese) so props to you to writing eng even though you speak Spanish!**

 **merendinoemiliano: Hope your okay with Ladybug and Freezerburn for now... and I guess CocoxJaune? (Honestly, I have no idea where that came from...but goddammit I wish Arkos would be able to happen in Canon, rip Pyrrha.)**

 **Grano Onis: I have a decent amount of the fic planned out so I hope it has SOME direction at least...but hey, if it flounders...at least I'll try to make it an entertaining flounder.**

* * *

 **Constructive Criticism would be great. Also opened to suggestions for making the story better.**

 **~Review ~Favorite ~Follow Plz.**


	5. Dead Broke

**Chp V: Dead Broke**

 **Disclaimer: I, ARK, do not own RWBY. No duh, RT does.**

 **"Cliffhangers...hilarious to write and drives people up a metaphorical wall...win, win." ~ ARK**

* * *

Shopkeeper #371 looked at the tall woman with shoulder-length blonde hair. She bit off a large chunk of a chocolate bar as she browsed through the other snacks at the snack section.

"Heh heh...Weiss can't tell me what to eat now!" she muttered beneath her breath.

"Um… excuse me? Miss?" the shopkeeper decided to take initiative. Quite impressive considering most shopkeepers had the personality of a soft cement brick.

"Eh?" The woman turned to the shopkeeper. Sharp lilac eyes gazed at the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper noted that for some reason only the woman's right hand wore a black glove. He was really working out his personality today! He hated asymmetry! His family was going to be real impressed.

"You… do realize you have to pay for your food, right?"

The woman looked down at her hand, where a near finished chocolate bar sat neatly.

She shrugged and went up to the reception desk. "Sure, I guess." She reached into one of her thick collared jacket's many pockets.

"...I'm sure I put my wallet in here…No? What about this one...Nope. This one? Nah. Right, sorry give me a few more seconds." She patted down herself. What the shopkeeper hoped to Monty wasn't sparks started jumping off of the woman's hair. Finally, she reached into one of her jean pockets and pulled out a dirty card. "Here ya go."

The shopkeeper took the card and peered down at it. He looked back up at the woman. "This card says it was made five years in the future."

"Oh right, time-travel I forgot…" the woman muttered to herself. The shopkeeper edged towards the customer service scroll, he had a sinking feeling he might need it. Afterall, his father (who for some reason looked exactly like him) always told him to stay away from insane people.

The woman took out a ripped and shredded wallet from her back pocket. She opened it. Scrap paper, wrappers, metal pieces, a set of earbuds, turtle food and… a turtle fell out. Finally, a few lien pennies clinged to the desk.

"...and it looks like I also forgot I was completely broke. Man, everyone was right, I shouldn't have bought the beer afterall."

The woman poked at the turtle, who irritably turned around to look at her. "But I didn't forget about you! Hello, Mertle!"

The turtle bit her finger.

"Right." The shopkeeper was really edging towards customer service now. Who, but insane people, keep turtles in their wallet? "I'll just-"

He was interrupted by a loud roar and screaming.

The woman straightened, her wallet-turtle dangled from her finger. "That sounded really loud," she noted. She grabbed her turtle and stuffed it back into her wallet. She made sure to put in the turtle food too.

"You can keep the rest!" Then the woman was running out of the shop, yellow cape flowing behind her. The shopkeeper blinked. The store shook. He decided that it was probably not a good idea to stay in the building and scrambled after the woman, wallet junk forgotten.

* * *

Yang just found out she was dead broke. Especially now that she had left the pennies. And Mertle bit her (that happened all the time, but details aren't important). So one could understand her foul mood when she went to check on the commotion outside.

Which instantly morphed as she grinned. "I haven't seen a Grimm that large in a very, _very_ long time!" The giant Grimm Griffon roared in response. Stamping on a water fountain it turned to face the blonde.

Running pedestrians gave her looks as they passed by screaming.

The shopkeeper started running in the opposite direction of the Grimm. "Run! Run!"

"Old man, right now I'm so broke I can't even _pay_ attention to you… now that was a good one." She punched her fists together. "Bring it on!" She charged, pushing herself off the ground.

The Griffon roared and met the challenge.

"LEEROY JENKINS!"

Glomp. With a snap, the Grimm swallowed Yang whole. It burped, satisfied.

 _...ew._ Yang decided that the inside of a Grimm wasn't pretty. She also decided not to touch the icky black stuff on the wall. _Fuck it_. Yang lit up her left hand. She slammed it into the Griffon's stomach.

The Griffon screeched. A fist broke through its flesh. It shook wildly. Then it erupted into fire and exploded. It's remains flew onto the street and houses before fluttering out of existence.

Pedestrians crowded around the smoking hole in the middle of the main street. As the dust cleared, a single figure could be seen at its center.

She coughed and wheezed for a bit. "One sec," she said to the crowd. "Just give me one sec.

"...that sure was anti-climatic...maybe I shouldn't have used magic?" Yang sighed sadly, springing back from her coughing fit. "I'm way too overpowered…"

She gazed at the silently awed crowd that had built up. "Isn't this the part where you all cheer and clap because the hero beat the villian to a pulp?"

The crowd looked at each other. Then reluctant clapping began. Some cheers started and in a few minutes, the village resembled a Mistral Tournament crowd.

Yang nodded appreciatively. "Now that's much better." Her eyes widened as she realized something. "AW SHIT. GAME OF THRONES HASN'T EVEN BEGUN YET!"

* * *

"So let me get this straight," said Mini-Weiss. She looked at the younger Blake incredulously. "Your father was the leader of the White Fang when it was peaceful...then he stepped down and let a faunus who believed in violence take over...then you decided to stay in the organization _for some reason_ -"

"She was head over heels in love," inserted Weiss with a smirk. Yang wolf(cat)-whistled. Blake glared at the woman as Mini-Blake blushed like a tomato.

"Ha. Ha. Ha," said Blake, unamused.

"Just telling it like it was," Weiss said with a shrug.

Mini-Weiss's face scrunched up. "...then you decided to stay in the organization for _love of all things_...until you began to have second thoughts because you were hurting people, which I might add, no duh for lack of better wording...and then you were one of the ones responsible for the SDC cargo attack a few months back, where you suddenly decided you wanted to jump ship." She took in a large breath. "Is that right?"

"Wow," said Jaune, impressed.

"She makes it sound so bad," muttered Blake.

"It kind of was," pointed out Weiss. She patted her younger self's head. "Nice work."

Mini-Weiss blushed at the compliment.

"Yeah…" murmured Blake. "That's about it."

"Hurray!" Nora exclaimed. "Blakey just told us her whole life for some reason! Condensed-Version!"

Ren face-palmed.

"That sure is a lot of things you went through," said Ruby and she meant it. Ruby (or at least past Ruby) was a honest person. Where for most people, lines like 'oh my god! This movie is great!' might sound cheesy and awkward, but when Ruby says it, it became the epitome of truth. Ah innocence...

"Y'know what I want to know? Who's the lucky guy?" Yang quirked an eyebrow.

"What lucky guy?" asked Ruby innocently.

Seven pairs of eyes stared at the 15-year old.

Pyrrha turned to Yang. "She doesn't know this...stuff?" She couldn't really find another word to call it but 'stuff'.

"What don't I know?" whined Ruby.

Yang looked vaguely uncomfortable. "Well…"

"What don't I know?" asked future-Ruby, walking into the dorm. She looked around the room. "And what'd I miss?"

Mini-Ruby ran to her future counterpart's side. "Yang said something about a 'lucky guy' but I don't see where a lucky guy fit into Blake's story!"

Ruby looked down at her younger self. She turned her attention towards teenager-Yang. "See what happens when you keep your little sister in the dark?" she asked.

Yang sputtered. "W-well she's too young to know this stuff!"

Ruby gave her younger? older? other dimensional? sister a deadpan look. "First, you knew about this stuff way before fifteen… and second, do you really want her to find out about it by reading the equivalent of porn under her blanket with a flashlight?"

Blake coughed with what sounded suspiciously like an 'oops'. Mini-Blake's eyes trailed off to the remote location where she hid a certain series dubbed 'Ninjas of Love'.

"WHAT?!" Yang stared at Ruby. She pointed a finger at her. "You...is that how you…?"

Ruby nodded. "Oh...and then I got an impromptu 'Birds and the Bees' lesson from Qrow." She shivered and made a cross sign. "On that day, I was scarred for life." It didn't help they were on the move collecting super important relics from the Huntsmen Academies at the time either.

"What's the 'Birds and the Bees'?" asked Ruby, looking between the two semi-sisters.

"I'll tell you later," said Yang quickly. She made the decision that she would rather give her innocent sister 'the Talk' then Uncle Qrow of all people. She frowned. "Wait, where would you get the porn from anyway?"

"Let's just say a certain teammate isn't as good at hiding their guilty pleasure as they think…"

Yang's eyes turned red as she glowered at Mini-Blake and Mini-Weiss. "Which one of you is hiding porn in the dorm room?!"

"I-I would not hide such… dirty materials!" denied Mini-Weiss viciously, her face red. "Nor would I read or have read said materials!" she added quickly.

Both Blake and Ruby looked pointedly at the older version of the Schnee heiress.

"Well...I was a sheltered child growing up, alright?" defended Weiss. "She doesn't know what she's talking about."

Mini-Weiss turned on her older self. "What?!"

Yang centered in on the only remaining candidate. "Blake…"

Mini-Blake laughed nervously. "I thought no one would find it….?"

The blonde charged at the cat-faunus. Blake narrowly avoided the attack and jumped up on Yang's bed, joining Nora. Nora tackled the raven-haired teen.

"Dirty kitty!" Nora tried to touch Blake's cat ears. The faunus shoved the insane girl off and tried to reach for safe haven.

"Ruby," nodded Weiss, finally having the leader of future Team RWBY's complete attention.

"Yeah, Weiss?"

"...how much lien do you have on you?"

Ruby checked her wallet. "I have like a couple hundred. Plus credit card?"

"And you, Blake?"

"Around the same thing as Ruby."

"And I only have my credit card...which doesn't exist right now." Weiss looked between her two teammates. "I believe we are now officially broke."

The three fell into completive silence. The only noise came from the crashes and clangs as Blake avoided Yang and Nora cheered them on (who she was cheering was unclear).

"...I've never been broke before," said Ruby finally. "Guess there's a time for everything."

Weiss pinched her nose. "And I would rather not mess up the timeline more than we already have."

Ruby perked up. "Actually, I spoke to Ozpin and it turns out we're in different worlds. Not the past… just a different version of it?" She frowned. "That sounded really convoluted. Anyway, the point is, we don't have to worry about erasing ourselves out of existence or anything."

Blake tilted her head. "If this was a story, I would think that the author made that as an excuse to let the characters do random stuff they usually wouldn't do." (Typing in a restaurant, a teenage girl suddenly sneezed. "Man, that stuff actually works…")

Weiss blinked. "So we don't have to worry about anything?"

Ruby shrugged. "Basically."

The Schnee mechanically walked towards the window. "Well ladies, it looks like I have some business to attend to…" She flung herself into the air.

Mini-Weiss blinked. Then she raced across the room just as a giant white nevermore appeared and Weiss landed gracefully on it. They flew off into the sunset.

Jaune gaped. " _Weiss!"_

Pyrrha gave the girl a jealous look.

 _Is jumping out of windows a trend in the future?_ thought Ren with a flat face.

"W-w-what?" the remaining Weiss managed to stammer. "I...w-what?" She looked seconds away from an aneurysm.

Yang stopped her attack on Blake mid-run. "Weiss, since when did you make me your role model?"

Ruby looked at Blake. "You know, I knew Yang would rub off on her negatively someday. Velvet owes me five lien."

Blake's left eye twitched. "There is a _perfectly good door_ in this dorm. Is going out of the window really necessary?"

Ruby shrugged. "Hey, it is faster." She made a mental note to use the windows next time she needed to get to Ozpin's office.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: DO NOT FOLLOW YANG'S EXAMPLE AND PUT TURTLES IN YOUR WALLET... IT WILL NOT END WELL.**

* * *

 **Author's Notes: ...and chapter's done. As a believer in animal rights, I had to put the turtle disclaimer up... and for the lols, mostly for the lols. I'm actually really proud of this chapter. It's basically the end of the set up, where stuff will actually gets down from now on. Oh and have you guys seen Vol 5, Chp.8?**

 **My reactions to RWBY Vol. 5, Chp. 8: Man, Yang is still beat up on Blake...and Weiss is comforting her, awwww. But is it Bumblebee or Freezerburn?! Noooo! Blake's fam, hang in there! Poor Ilia, she's the first important out LGBT character in RWBY and Blake has borderline zero interest in her… she needs to get laid.**

* * *

 **Omake I: That's Rough, Buddy (Non-Canon)**

"Thanks for the invitation," said Sun, looking at Blake. He had just finished beating up the group of White Fang that tried to kidnap Blake. Which he might add, he looked _amazing_ doing. "You okay?"

Blake gave him an incredulous look and turned her back. " _No._ I just found out one of my former best friends in the White Fang has or had romantic feelings for me while I was stupidly falling head over heels for Adam and is now out to kill my family for revenge. _No, I'm not okay._ "

Sun stared. "That's rough, buddy."

"Shut up." Blake started running. "Call the police and let's go!"

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **snoogenz: You hit the nail on the head! (Oh and I love the Carnival Phantasm profile pic btw.)**

 **Dev the snake faunus: It's pretty crazy, yeah. (Dev, was that a pun? And please leave Ozpin alive... I need to properly roast him first.)**

 **Guest: Thx. I'll do my best.**

 **merendinoemilliano: Thanks for the support! And yes, Pyrhha returning would be pretty cool if it's done correctly (like what about a human Grimm Pyrhha that team J_NR had to deal with and maybe manages to regain her memory?) I do have a reasoning for Yang being Fall Maiden...and some of my scenes depend on it so yeah... and I have some headcanon for the Summer Maiden that wouldn't allow Yang to be it.**

 **Nightwing2013: *thumbs up***

* * *

 **Open to suggestions and constructive criticism!**

 **Plz Review, Favorite, and Follow...because why not?**


	6. Traumatized

**Chp VI: Traumatized...**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY, I don't own Rooster Teeth… I don't own anything important really.**

 **"It's iPhone TEN people… not iPhone X." ~ ARK**

 **Please read the announcement after the story… (you don't have to, but please..? I think it's pretty cool...)**

* * *

Yang was pretty sure she had a weird dream the other day. Time-travelers? Window-jumpers? Especially future Weiss window jumping? Blake in the White Fang? Blake hiding porn? Ruby's lost innocence? What universe had she landed in? She groaned as she attempted to and failed to get out of her bed. Then she realized something. Ruby hadn't woken up everyone yet. _Something's wrong_. She jumped out of bed because she was a responsible elder sister...no matter what people said.

"What are you doing?" asked Blake, quickly hiding whatever book she had been reading. "You looked like you had a mini-heart attack...which is probably what Weiss is having." Said heiress stared off into space (or the bottom of Ruby's bed, take your pick) dully.

"Why hasn't Ruby yelled at us yet?" asked Yang. Usually, every morning her little sister would blow an Oum awful whistle to shock everyone out of bed.

Her partner gave her an incredulous look. "Maybe because you gave her one of the worst lessons I've ever heard on the process of human reproduction."

Up on her bed, Ruby groaned. Yang paused. "Wait, so everything happened yesterday?"

Blake stared. "I sure hope so because I'm not wearing my bow right now."

"...I messed up."

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _Yang pulled Ruby aside as Glynda started fixing the broken bunk bed destroyed courtesy of Future Ruby. Her little sister gave her an oh so innocent look._

 _Yang took in a deep breath. "So...I don't want Uncle Qrow telling you the 'Birds and the Bees'." She could not imagine in anyway how that would go well._

 _Ruby tilted her head. "What is the 'Birds and the Bees' anyway? Cause if it's biology, I hate biology."_

 _"Kind of, it's how babies are made." That was pure enough, right?_

 _Ruby blinked. "Huh. I always did wonder where we came from. Nobody ever answered when I asked though..."_

 _Yang resisted the urge to cringe. "Alright so...think of a donut."_

 _"What does a donut have to do with it? Donuts don't make babies. Yang, I'm not stupid, y'know."_

 _"Just wait… so think of a donut, then think of putting a finger through that donut."_

 _"I love doing that!" Ruby exclaimed. Pyrrha, who had been listening in (along with everybody else in the room) actually visibly cringed at the statement._

 _"Okay…" Yang was really trying to keep this as kid friendly as possible. She was, but she herself had been taught very bluntly. Night clubs and their television… "So… guys kinda have a…"_

* * *

 _Future Ruby looked on, amused as dawning horror filled her past? other-dimensional?...past was easier, past self._

 _Blake walked to her side. "You're enjoying this," she said bluntly._

 _"Why wouldn't I? It's this Ruby's turn and it's hilarious."_

 _"When you had 'the Talk' you wouldn't look anyone in the eye for a month."_ _Blake smiled. "It was funny. We made a running joke out of it."_

 _Ruby winced at the statement. "Alright...so maybe I shouldn't be having this much fun…"_

 _Mini-Ruby suddenly covered her mouth and sped out the room._

 _Ruby laughed. "I take that back."_

* * *

"Yep. I messed up," repeated Yang. "What's up with Weiss?" She looked over at the heiress.

Blake sighed. "Looks like yesterday's events caught up to her…" Weiss did not respond like she usually did when someone talked about her, namely, yelling at them.

Ruby peeked out of her cover like a scared animal. "...she's also freaking out about her dust project that she never got done." She retreated back into her den.

"...Don't we have class today?" Yang usually wasn't an advocate for going to classes, but when the leader and the most stuck-up members of the team were both out of commision, exceptions were made.

Blake shrugged. She wasn't really sure if they should attend class today. Two of their teammates were traumatized after all. "Maybe we should take a day off."

"HELLO, FELLOW SECRET KEEPERS!" yelled Nora, kicking down the door with her foot. "TIME FOR CLASS!"

Ren face-palmed behind his partner.

"...I take that back," said Blake.

* * *

"...so both Yang and Weiss left us to do whatever they have on their minds," said Ruby. "And surprisingly, you and I were the only ones Theo stayed." She walked leisurely with Blake down the Beacon main main hall. Students rushed pass them as they tried to get to class on time. "Good job, Blake. You actually stayed somewhere when something important happened for once!"

Blake glowered at the red-caped woman. "...I'm working on it."

"And now we ask the all important question, what now?" Ruby usually had Huntress missions to go on or at least she could help out with Team JNPR and CFVY or even her own team, so she was already bored out of her mind. After all, her huntress license was void at the moment and the two teams were barely out of their kid stage yet.

"Find a job," said Blake simply. "We can't stay hermits living under Ozpin's roof forever. On the other hand, how are we going to get back to our own world?"

Ruby shrugged. "Still need to find out how we got here in the first place, make a mental note to ask mini-RWBY. But hey, no one's gonna worry for the next year or so."

Blake nodded. She pulled out her scroll and waved it at Ruby. "I can do a lot better then a mental note."

Ruby smiled. "That's one of the reasons why I like you so much. So responsible."

"Yeah sure…" Blake looked away.

The debatably taller woman leaned closer to the faunus. "Aww," she teased.

"COME ON PEOPLE! More enthusiasm!" Ruby pulled away and looked over Blake's shoulder. One Nora marched through the Beacon doorway, followed by seven much less energetic huntsmen and huntresses-in-training. Ruby noted that mini-Ruby and mini-Weiss in particular looked like they had rolled off the wrong side of the bed and got bit by zombies on the way.

Jaune and Pyrrha waved at the two women as they passed by. Everyone else was too busy getting dragged along by Nora.

"...Nora will always be Nora," said Ruby.

Blake raised an eyebrow. "Wasn't there a time where she mellowed out for a bit because of all the crazy world-ending stuff that was happening?"

Ruby waved the comment off. "She only became more insane after the experience. Anyways...it's getting a little old calling our past-selves mini-etc." She grinned. "Call me Red."

"...wasn't that Roman Torchwick's nickname for you?"

"It grew on me after a while, kay?" The nickname was very fitting, even if the person who made it got swallowed by a griffon while attempting to kill her. "Why don't we call you Black?" she added jokingly.

"...not happening. I can't even begin to imagine the problems that might crop up."

"Donut?" Belladonna, Donna... Donut... There was clearly a connection.

"What. Do you want me to wear pink while I'm at it? No." Where did Ru-Red get that name from anyway? "Besides, I'm still disturbed by Yang's quote on quote 'lesson'."

Red fauxed exasperation. "She's got nothing on Qrow. Bella then, that makes sense."

"Doesn't fit me," said Blake. "Too girly."

Red sighed. "...so picky...fine, just Belladonna. We'll work on your last name later."

Belladonna smiled. "I can get used to that."

* * *

In hindsight, maybe landing in the middle of her mother's bandit tribe wasn't such a great idea. Yang was immediately met with a ring of heavily armed resistance. Not that she was scared or-...was that a pen gun?

"Dude. Why do you have a pen that's a gun?" asked Yang.

Said bandit looked down at his hand. In it, he gripped a writing pen pointed to the intruder. A muzzle was clearly visible where the nib should be. "Huh?" he said elegantly. Clearly the poor guy wasn't used to people calling him out.

"Does it at least write?" Yang really was interested. Though she was mildly worried about how safe a pen gun might be, it did sound pretty useful. Maybe she could get one for Weiss as a present?

* * *

 _Inside Yang's Admittably Weird Mind_

 _Weiss is signing paperwork at a desk. A random guy bursts into the room._

 _"Give me money!" (Nevermind that Weiss was in a room filled with paperwork and missing anything even remotely resembling lien.)_

 _"No." Weiss took off_ _the pen's tip and pointed the pen at the random guy._

 _The random guy laughed hysterically. "What are you going to do with-"_

 _Weiss fired her pen gun, the bullet went through the random guy's heart, he collapsed to the floor. "That."_

 _She returned to pleasantly doing her paperwork._

* * *

Yang nodded to herself. "Yeah, a pen gun… she likes penguins too…. so a penguin with a pen gun?"

The bandits looked at each other. Most of them had expressions of something like, _who is this lady that transformed from a bird and now wants to get a penguin with a pen gun for some reason?_ The pen gun bandit looked honored someone wanted his weapon, his pen gun _did_ write (it was very versatile).

"What is going on here?" demanded a voice. Two bandits spread out to let one Vernal enter the scene, a certain Grimm-mask wearing woman behind her.

Yang grinned, setting aside her gift idea for the time being. "Now you're the person I wanted to see," she said to Raven.

The well, raven haired woman frowned beneath her mask. "And why might that be?"

"You," Yang declared. "Are a horrible excuse for a mother... and maybe a human being in general."

Vernal, being the loyal puppy she was, went to grab her deer horn knife. How dare this random stranger insult the leader of her tribe?

"How do you know I have a child" asked Raven with a threatening undertone. Her hand gripped the hilt of her sword.

Yang held up a hand. "I'm not done yet. Let me start and finish my rant, lady." She took in a deep breath. "You went to Beacon to learn to kill people, mistake number one. Along the way, you decided 'hey, I'm gonna fall in love with this hot guy!'. And you also got recruited by one Ozpin into 'The Circle', where you promptly wussed out on because 'oh my Oum, we can't defeat Salem!' Not true by the way. Did I mention you had a baby with said hot guy? Because you had a baby with said hot guy. Then, because you're a fucking genius you were like, 'y'know what? I can't handle this shit anymore' and promptly ran back to your family's bandit camp to become their mighty leader. Leaving a severely traumatized kid who'll become obsessed with searching for you until she smartened up. It didn't help said kid's other mom died a few years later. But you still loved the kid, which you sure didn't show, I might add. So you stalked them as a raven, because why not? And when the kid finally found you, you were like 'hey! You finally found me, great! Now get an info dump on the horrors of the world as a reward! Oh and magic exists. By the way, while I was at it, I kidnapped your future girlfriend!" Yang let out her breath. "...and if I list more, I'll be stuck here all day, so there. Horrible parenting 101, people."

"..." Raven was tempted to throw the strange woman into a really deep pit in the middle of nowhere, preferably a volcano. She reminded herself she was supposed to be a calm, super mysterious leader of the Branwen Tribe. She pulled her sword out of its sheath in a smooth motion and pointed it at the intruder. "Answers. Now."

Vernal followed her leader's example dutifully. She gave her fellow bandits looks. The bandits, whose mouths had dropped to the ground sometime during Yang's rant, shut them abruptly. They readied their various weapons.

While Yang was pretty sure she could give the Tribe a beating, she wasn't so overconfident that she thought she could get out of there with all of her limbs attached, including the one she had already replaced. So she did the only sensible thing in her arsenal (Xiao Longs don't do the running away business, how dare you call that sensible?), "I call for a Challenge!"

Raven narrowed her eyes. Another thing the woman shouldn't know about. Unfortunately, as leader, she couldn't ignore the Challenge. On a happier note, she was sure the woman was about to get pummeled to the ground...and then through it. "Challenge accepted."

* * *

Jacques Schnee twirled his mustache, very villainously, a few people might add. He sat at the end of a black marble table...in a black room. He was really going for the evil thing, alright?

"Ladies and gentlemen," he said, pointing a cursor to the wall. He pressed a button and the wall lit up, revealing a very convoluted plan with a lot of webs. "The Schnee Dust Company is one of the most influential corporations to date. But that is not our goal, no, our goal is to become the most influential cooperation in history-"

One of the shady businessmen at the table raised his hand.

"Yes?" Jacques said, annoyed his planned 50-page monologue (he made sure it was size 11 Ariel font too) had been interrupted.

"...how, exactly, is the Schnee Dust Company supposed to become the most influential cooperation in history?"

Jacques's incredible (in his opinion) mustache twitched. "I was getting to that!" He pointed at the giant screen on the walls "That is the plan."

"It looks very... _nefarious_ ," commented a shady business woman.

"Mm," agreed another shady business woman. "A little _too_ nefarious...don't get me wrong, nefarious is glorious, but don't you think it's a little _risky_?"

Jacques twitched. "How dare you assume-"

"Sir, may you please sign this very important document for the 'Even Cheaper Labor Initiative?" a white-haired woman asked, appearing out of nowhere. She handed the SDC President a clipboard with a stack of papers.

"What? Oh yes," Jacques grabbed a fountain pen and scribbled his signature on the bottom of the paper. He handed the clipboard back to the woman and looked pointedly at the assembled business men and women. "See? _Someone_ can get things done here."

"Great," said the woman pleasantly. "Now may you please get out of your seat?"

Jacques blinked. "Excuse me?" He turned his gaze towards the tuxedo vest (which for some reason had a skirt) wearing woman.

"I said, 'please get out of your seat'." The woman repeated, her voice still polite.

Jacques, who had never been challenged before could only say again, "what?"

"You see," the woman said as if she was talking to a very small child. She held up the clipboard and rifled through the papers. "You just signed an agreement where I, Moon Schnee, am now the President of the Schnee Dust Company. With it comes all the rights of the President of the SDC, of course. Including the right to sit in the chair of the President of the Schnee Dust Company during a meeting."

The now former President of the Schnee Dust Company blinked again. "What?"

"So now you must be interested in your place in the Schnee Dust Company, yes? You have been formally fired. Please get out of this building after you leave the comfort of the chair."

The watching shady gentleman and women all silently cursed in their minds for never thinking of the genius idea that had played out before them.

Jacques numbly stumbled out of his $20,000 leather chair. He had seen the proof in the paperwork he had sign and if Jacques Schnee was anything, he was a man of his signature (which he had personally spent hours upon hours honing into a magnificent masterpiece). He walked mechanically towards the exit.

The woman situated herself into the chair. _This chair is very hot_ , she thought. _I didn't know Jacques had a hot ass._ She paused. _Why did I start dating Xiao Long again?_

"Oh," she called out. "Thanks for the mansion by the way, that was very generous of you."

"What?" Jacques decided not to turn around for fear of losing his sanity. He walked faster, hoping to avoid hearing of any other thing he had 'voluntarily' given up in the last few minutes.

The door clicked shut as Jacques Schnee, former Schnee Dust Company President left the room.

Weiss Schnee from a future universe, now dubbed Moon Schnee smiled at the audience of shady gentle men and women.

"Clearly it was a good thing I had taken over. It seems poor Jacques had started going senile," said Moon pleasantly. "Now what were we discussing?"

All the other inhabitants of the room felt a shiver go down their spine.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: And here is Chapter VI~ The beginning kinda dragged on… but dang, Weiss's arc was hella fun to write. I hope it was just as entertaining too.**

 **Announcement: I think it would be a pretty cool idea to write Omakes based on what you guys want, only requirement is that it has to be funny… and that you have to read the A/N. I'm lonely, alright!?**

* * *

 **Omake II: Blake, Why Does Everyone Like You? (Non-Canon)**

"Blake?" asked Ruby, sitting down next to her long-time girlfriend. Blake looked up from her scroll and stopped her typing, although reluctantly.

"Hm?"

"Why does everyone like you?" Ruby had noticed this when she was reminiscing the past that morning.

"...because I'm a nice person to be around?" She sure hoped so.

"No, like romantically."

Blake stared.

"You're like a walking, talking everybody magnet," explained Ruby. "First there was Adam, then Illia, then Sun, then even Yang for a while. Of course there's me...so why does everyone like you? Maybe it's the cat ears?"

"Shut up," demanded Blake, leaning in to kiss Ruby…she really hoped it wasn't the cat ears.

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **dub77: Ruby (Red) and Yang are both Huntresses. Huntresses and huntsmen don't just take out Grimm, they 'uphold the peace' so I imagine it'll always be a thing in Remnant, though there will probably be less as time goes on. Yes, there is Grimm, just fewer and smaller. And you make a good point about the Maiden powers, I'll have to keep that in mind. Yang is in ruins because, like every other member of Team RWBY (especially Weiss) and most people today, she uses her credit card more than anything... which obviously doesn't work now. As for romance, it'll always be in the backdrop and technically 'past' RWBY and co. are their own people so they can develop different romances...does that help?**

 **Dev the snake faunus: Poor Starscream...always getting beat up on...first there was Megatron, now Dev...you were referencing Red vs. Blue? Was it Sarge? I'm kinda new to that fandom so yeah…but hey, I put in a Donut reference!**

 **Nightwing2013: The omake was actually inspired by that one seen with Sokka and Zuko, one of my personal favorites.**

 **Sokka: My first girlfriend turned into the moon…**

 **Zuko: That's rough, buddy.**

 **Lol. And poor Cabbage Man…**

 **merendinoemilliano: That's a really interesting theory you've got there. Thx for the support, as always.**

 **rocketmce: Cool beans. If I ever get that far, I have some pretty cracky stuff planned for the multiverse! And you're the 20th review, so hats off to you.**

* * *

 **Looking forward to constructive criticism and suggestions.**

 **I'm looking at you! Review, favorite, and follow!**


	7. Handiness (Damn it)

**Chp VII: Handiness (Damn it.)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY, I don't own Rooster Teeth, I also don't know anybody who owns RWBY or Roosterteeth.**

 **"I'm writing an essay about why we shouldn't have homework...as homework...WHY?!" ~ ARK**

* * *

 _Ru-Red was right, this elevator is on the side of Salem_ , thought Belladonna. She had inserted earplugs into all four of her ears. As for why she had earplugs in the first place? After knowing Yang Xiao Long for a total of ten years, one learns to always keep earplugs in stock...or they could just be like Red and adapt to sleeping through the nightly thunderstorm. The elevator doors opened with a relief-inducing ping. If she had to hear another play of ' _The Touch_ ' again, it would be one time too many.

"Blake Belladonna," greeted Glynda, looking up from her papers.

Belladonna unplugged her earplugs. "What?"

"Blake Belladonna," repeated Glynda, looking sympathetically at the cat-faunus. She understood very well the pain the woman had just went through. "What brings you up here?" Usually people avoided the journey like a plague. Though Glynda may or may not have hid the existence of a set of stairs leading up to the office...hey, she liked not being interrupted, like any self-respecting person would.

"Just Belladonna for now," the cat-faunus said, crossing the room. "Red, Ruby, by the way, insisted on new names." She would never admit to her girlfriend she actually found it kind of cool.

"Belladonna then." Glynda nodded.

Belladonna looked around. "Where's Ozpin?"

Glynda's hand twitched. "Taking a 'break'. He said something about having to get a new and improved Maple Coffee."

"He's always taking breaks," muttered Glynda, seething to herself.

Belladonna, having cat ears and such, picked up on the woman's words. "Ah. So he's like Weiss."

Glynda blinked. "Weiss?" The current SDC heir and assumed future President?

"You'll see eventually," said Belladonna cryptically. She tilted her head. "On the other hand, I have a message I want you to pass on to Ozpin."

* * *

Ruby had gotten a little better from the morning. All she had to do was not think about- No! Don't go there! She walked consciously in front of Yang, not really wanting to see her sister's face for the day...or the week for that matter. Ruby opened the door to Team RWBY's dorm, ready to cuddle up and sleep for the night.

"So, how'd your classes go today?" asked Red, lazily lounging on the floor of the dorm.

Ruby jumped. "Oh! Wow, didn't see you there, future me."

"Call me Red," said Red. "All this future, other dimensional stuff is a real headache."

"Red?" asked Yang. "...because you wear the color red a lot?"

Blake gave her partner a 'no duh' look. Weiss was still on cracked eggs. She had scored a fat 0 on her dust project because 'it blew up and future versions of Team RWBY popped out' was apparently not a satisfactory answer. Of course she didn't say that, Glynda had warned them it was probably not a good idea to talk about the time-travelers or else people might question your sanity, but _still_. Glynda and Ozpin should've cooked something up!

"Well there is that," said Red with a shrug. She looked at the team impassively. "No one's answered my question yet."

"It was school," Yang shrugged. "Y'know the usual Grimm experience."

Red snorted. She had to give the younger version of her older sister (what.) a pass on that one. The girl was still young! "Oh yes, how was Professor Port's lesson?"

"As sleep inducing as ever…" muttered Blake, walking to her bed.

Weiss went to her desk (newly fixed, thanks to one Glynda) slowly taking out a large textbook and began studying mechanically.

Ruby dragged herself to her destination, namely her bed.

Red decided to take pity on her younger self and if there was anyone who knew what the girl liked it was Red, being her future self and all. She stood up and stretched. "Alright then, Ruby, would you like to see my Crescent Rose?" She hasn't taken out her baby in nearly a whole day, something that hadn't happened since she was still enrolled in Beacon. Red was starting to feel agitated.

"Really?!" Ruby exclaimed, a mood-switch flipping off inside her brain. She turned her full attention to Red. "You have Crescent Rose with you?! Do you have any cool upgrades?!"

Red sweatdropped. "Ma ma, calm down." She reached inside her cape. "And of course I have it, can't leave home without it."

She took out a red machinery reminiscent of a compact suitcase.

Ruby tilted her head. "Eh? Crescent Rose got smaller?"

Red grinned and pushed her aura into the weapon. It suddenly grew into a scythe nearly double the size of herself. A final mechanism released the scythe point, which made a neat cut on the dorm wall.

"Huh. Oops," said Red, looking at the slash. "Should've taken that into account."

Blake and Yang stared. Even Weiss looked up and joined in the staring. Ruby's eyes had turned into stars.

"Oh my Oum! It's huge!" she exclaimed. "What else is it?"

"Well," said Red. "It's also a gun, sniper rifle to be exact, your Crescent Rose already has that. And it's also a rocket launcher, and also a really big sword, and most importantly, the best cleaning device you could ever have."

Ruby blinked. "Crescent Rose...a cleaning device?"

Weiss shivered.

* * *

Inside Weiss's Mind

 _Red is whistling a tone nonchalantly. She was sweeping the ground like a normal, average person. Then the perspective zoomed out to reveal her actually holding Crescent Rose upside down as a broom._

* * *

"Yep," said Red. "I added in a vacuum function because Weiss kept on bugging me about cleaning up the house or whatever." She and Blake were not the tidiest people in the world. Empty water bottle? Who has time to throw that thing out?

Weiss twitched. "...I'm glad you listened to future me?" She wasn't sure what to feel about one of the supposed deadliest weapons in the world also being a vacuum cleaner.

Red patted Crescent Rose appreciatively. "It works great as a party trick too."

"...I can imagine," said Blake.

An idea suddenly appeared in Red's mind. Belladonna was supposed to take care of their job business so she had some free time the next couple of days. "Hey, what'd you guys say to a competition?"

"A competition?" asked Yang, interested.

Red smiled. "Team RWBY and JNPR against me and Belladonna, that's Blake by the way."

"Eight people against two?" asked Weiss. "What. Do you have an enlarged ego?"

"Hey!" Ruby said. She had to stand up for herself after all.

Red ruffled Ruby's hair. "Don't worry, it'll be a piece of cake for us."

Ruby pulled away and pointed a challenging finger at her older self. "We won't go easy on you just because you have less people either!"

...she really was a cute kid. "Sure, kid."

"I'm not a kid!"

* * *

Yang and Raven stood far apart at the center of the bandit camp, looking directly at each other.

Yang tilted her head. "Alright so...what's your Challenge?"

The Challenge declaration was something she had learned from future Raven….who was still a jerk, but at least she was trying? And besides, Yang always wanted to get some (a lot) things off her chest. This was the perfect opportunity! The Challenge was….something the leader of the Branwen tribe had to accept. The leader got to choose what they were doing as a Challenge and if the challenger won they got...something. At the time, Raven had been bragging about winning every single Challenge she had ever gotten...so Yang kinda toned her out. Hey, tea time was boring alright?

"The Challenge is simple," said Raven. "I like to keep things simple."

The grimm-masked woman waved at the makeshift arena. A bandit had made a circle using their semblance earlier. Apparently it made sure elemental effects wouldn't get out of the arena.. "This will be a double match...Vernal is my chosen partner."

Hence why the girl was inside the line.

"You must either make the opponent incapable of fighting, move out of the border...or dead." She was really going for the last one.

Vernal grinned. "Heh. You're at an disadvantage here, two against one."

Yang frowned at her. "What are you talking about? I didn't even announce if I had a partner or not."

Vernal blinked. "But you don't have anyone with you."

Yang pulled out her wallet. She opened it and flipped it upside down. Lien from her various adventures while getting here fell out, along with turtle food… and a turtle.

All the bandits collectively blinked.

"Mertle will be my partner," declared Yang.

The turtle looked at his owner, then at the opposition, and yawned. It plopped onto the floor, looking bored out of its mind.

Yang glanced sideways at her turtle. "...a little support would be nice."

Mertle ignored her.

"You wish to...make a turtle your partner?" asked Raven. This woman was a crack case.

"Not just any turtle! This is Mertle we're talking about here!"

...definitely a crack case.

Vernal laughed. "All talk and no bark I see."

"The Challenge will begin once we have declared our names," said Raven. If anything, at least she was polite enough to ask for someone's name...nah, mostly she wanted to know who knew so much about her and the Tribe. Besides, they had nothing to lose, the woman probably already knew their names.

"Vernal."

"...Raven." Doesn't mean she has to like giving out her name though.

"Mertle can't speak yet, so Mertle."

Raven resisted the urge to facepalm.

"So after I say my name we start fighting right? Just making sure." said Yang. She was thorough even if she didn't seem like it.

"Yes," said Raven impatiently. This has gone on far too long.

"Great, ITS YANG!" Yang grabbed Mertle and chucked him at Vernal. …Vernal collapsed on impact.

 _Wait, what?_ Before Raven could form another coherent thought, she felt something slam into her body. She looked down as she flew through the air. ...was that an arm?

Yang, now with one less arm, grinned. "Looks like I won by an _arm's_ length. Eh?"

Somewhere in the crowd, a bandit chuckled. He was quickly silenced… violently.

Raven crashed landed into a building, creating a nice human sized smoking crater. She grabbed the arm's hand. It slipped out of its glove, revealing a yellow bionic arm. _She's an amputee?_ The bionic arm suddenly came to life, walking on its fingers, it went in the direction of the border. _What?_

"Raven has crossed the border!" declared a bandit who had a sinking feeling he wouldn't be surviving through the night. "...and Vernal is-"

Vernal ripped the Oum-damned turtle off her face and threw it to the side. She shakily stood up. "Now you've made me mad."

Yang tilted her head. "Do you need a _hand_ too?"

* * *

Moon felt tingles go through her body. She abruptly paused. _Darn, my Yang senses are going off…she must've made more than one bad pun in a row._ The sweating shady gentlemen and women looked at her, hoping for a break from the firing-*ahem*- 'business' meeting.

"...Teal, I believe it's your turn."

They all deflated.

* * *

"Wow, so 17-year old Weiss was responsible?" said Red. "That's new."

Weiss turned red in embarrassment.

"Mm, well you _did_ say there's a time for everything." Suddenly, Belladonna felt as if lightning had struck her. "...I think someone just butchered the English language."

* * *

Electricity started forming on Vernal's skin, her eyes turned blank.

"I'm definitely feeling a scene rip-off from somewhere..."

"Imbecile!" Vernal threw a lightning bolt at Yang.

Yang dodged to the side. Lightning striked where her right arm would've been, then deflected off of the barrier and flew back at Vernal. Vernal held out a hand and the lightning bolt dissipated.

"Oh, I have to record this! Sari, record!"

A video camera popped out of her bionic arm's wrist. "Understood."

Yang grinned. She lit her left arm on fire. Her eyes turned red and her hair erupted into flames. "Heh, I might actually get a decent challenge. Bring it on, Spring Maiden!"

Vernal levitated off the ground. Not bothering to answer, she started throwing lightning bolts nonstop at Yang, Yang steadied her arm, took aim, and flicked her fingers. A fire wall erupted out of the space between her hand and the air and crashed with the lightning.

Vernal grinned. Lightning always beats fire.

She started levitating back down to the ground. Vernal felt air racing towards her. Eyes widening, she quickly dodged.

Yang smiled as her fire filled punch narrowly missed the younger girl. She landed on the ground with a slam. "Didn't anyone ever teach you to be aware of your surroundings?"

"What?"

Yang looked pointedly at the ground beneath Vernal. "Don't worry, I made it as pain free as possible."

Vernal looked down. A large circle reminiscent of alchemy incantations looked right back at her. She paled.

Yang snapped her fingers. Dried lava erupted out of the circle, sending Vernal flying into the stratosphere.

"...and that, people, is the difference between an experienced Maiden and a barely capable one."

She coughed. _Stupid problem acting up again._ "Mertle, what are you doing?"

The turtle ignored her and crawled back into Yang's wallet. He exerted an air of 'don't bother me anymore, lady.'

"...we need to work on that attitude of yours."

"Raven has crossed the boundaries!" declared the same bandit from before. "...and Vernal… is somewhere...likely crossed boundaries!"

"Our winner is the Challenger! YANG!"

"My name isn't screamed." Yang frowned. "What gave them that idea?"

"YANG! YANG! YANG!"

Raven wobbled up to the woman, glaring at her. "Congratulations," she said drily. "You're the new leader of the Branwen, or whatever your last name is, Tribe."

Yang paused. "Say what?"

"You're the new leader of the Tribe."

"...that was the reward for winning?"

Raven stared. "You didn't know?"

 _Oumdammit mom, emphasize the_ important _parts._ "...you guys better have a lot of pen guns and turtle food."

Raven, who was usually a very calm person (by bandit standards), threw her hands in the air. "We're all doomed."

* * *

Short Story I: The Origin of Mertle

Jaune sighed. He really did hate cleaning up after his coworkers. They were all great, don't get him wrong, but they were kind of...crazy. Not Nora level crazy, but combined they were pretty close.

Which is how he ended up standing in the President of the Schnee Company's office with a turtle in one of his hands.

"I heard you needed me?" asked Weiss, coming into the room.

"Are you ever...actually in your office?"

Weiss waved away the inquiry. "Not important." She sat down at her desk. "So, what do you need?"

"Well, remember how we wanted to find a way to decrease and increase radioactivity at will?"

"...of course, didn't I give the go for that one?"

"No. One of your summons did."

"Right."

"Anyway, some of the scientists decided to experiment on turtles," explained Jaune.

Weiss frowned. "Turtles? Don't you usually use rats?"

"Well yes, but some rat faunus...es? faunusi? thought it was offensive. So turtle it was, apparently."

Weiss looked at the little turtle in Jaune's hand. "And I'm guessing you did something with that?"

Jaune nodded. "This is the first radioactive turtle in the world...hopefully." Radioactive turtles in sewers didn't sound all that safe. "It's basically indestructible."

"...I'm not going to ask how you know that," decided Weiss. "And why are you showing me your indestructible, radioactive turtle?"

"Well it kind of needs a place to live," said Jaune. "So I thought maybe you could find it one?" He was really going on a stretch here, but he sure wasn't going to ask his own team. He didn't even want to know what Nora might do, anything Ren did will eventually get to Nora...and Penny might just decide to test the turtle's indestructibility for herself…in every way possible.

Weiss mulled over the idea. "Yang _could_ use a pet."

Jaune sweat dropped. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"What's the worst that could happen?"

The worst happened.

* * *

"Yang! That turtle isn't a weapon!"

"Anything can be a weapon if you try hard enough!"

* * *

 **Author's Notes: And here is Chapter VII! (add cheery music). No seriously, seven is my favorite number. A lot of anime use seven, a lot of things are seven, I like seven. Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Servants, Seven Dragon Balls, Seven Tailed Beasts, Seven Treasures, Seven Wonders of the World… the list goes on. So cheer for seven! Oh and something happened that didn't make Chp. 6 show up the other day…so that kinda sucked.**

 **Will take Omake requests...but first you guys kinda need to write them.**

 **Beta-Reader Credit goes to (*drum roll*)...my ten-year old little brother! Quality Beta-Reader, guys.**

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Mobydicks: Will do!**

 **merendinoemilliano: *two thumbs up* Because I can…and was that enough Raven suffering for you?**

 **Nightwing2013: lol**

* * *

 **Constructive Criticism and Suggestions, as usual.**

 **Do the art of Reviewing, Favoriting, and Following!**


	8. Settling In

**Chp VIII: Settling in**

 **Disclaimer: RWBY is not my property... and neither is Rooster Teeth.**

 **"Algebra is the universal equation to hell." ~ ARK**

* * *

"Everyone's ready?" asked Red. She casually swung Crimson Rose around. Team JNPR and RWBY looked warily at the giant weapon/cleaning device. Belladonna just ignored it. She had gotten used to the oversized killing device a long time ago. An inevitable outcome when Red treated Crimson Rose like a baby and Belladonna lived with her.

They entered the training grounds. Probably _the_ most high tech thing Beacon had going for it. Though, Belladonna mused, the elevators certainly didn't make the title hard to get. The training grounds were something a team (or more) had to sign up for...and they were so popular it usually took a few days for one to become available. Hence why they were only entering it three days after Ruby had signed them up.

It was a large beige room, with various equipments for Huntsmen and Huntresses in training, but most importantly, it was in the shape of an arena.

Jaune laughed nervously as he got into position on the opposite end of Red and Belladonna. "Hehe, any chance you could drop the scythe?"

Red grinned and dropped Crescent Rose on the ground. It literally shook the room. She stepped over it. "Sure thing."

"Oh...I did _not_ mean literally…" Jaune transformed Crocea Mors.

Ruby sucked in a breath. "How could you do that to Crescent Rose?!"

"Crescent Rose is a strong baby, she'll survive." Red raised an eyebrow as Jaune attempted to ready himself. "Your stance is _all_ wrong."

"Uh…"

Pyrhha sighed. "Here." She went to position the blonde.

"Hey," Red whispered to Belladonna. "I always thought Jaune might have been asexual or something, how does he not notice _at all_ Pyrhha? Not even a sideways look!"

"I'm more sorry for Pyrhha then anything," whispered back Belladonna. "...should we try to get them together?"

"But what about Coco?"

"...this _is_ technically a different Jaune." Arkos all the way, people.

"Point," conceded Red. "We need Weiss for this type of stuff though."

"Any idea where she went off to?"

"Well, she always _did_ really, really dislike her dad."

"Guys!" exclaimed Ruby from the other side of the arena. "Red and Belladonna are already making battle plans! We need to huddle up too!"

The two members of other-dimensional, Future Team RWBY looked at each other. Ruby had no idea how wrong she was.

Belladonna went off to put Gambol Shroud to the side. If Red wasn't using her weapon, she wouldn't either.

* * *

"Contestants," declared the AI that Team JNPR had set up. "3, 2, 1, FIGHT!"

"Weiss!" Ruby called out. Her partner nodded and made a glyph. Ruby jumped on it, flying into the air. She readied Crescent Rose for striking Red.

Jaune screamed a battle cry as he ran towards Red. Did I say ran? More like, dragging Crocea Mors along, ran. Pyrhha stayed behind her leader, ready to support him with Milo.

Meanwhile, Blake and Yang had gone for the ' _attack headfirst because that's always worked'_ plan on Belladonna. Nora jumped into the air, laughing maniacally as she swung down her hammer. Ren started shooting StormFlower.

Belladonna was, least to say, unimpressed. She sidestepped, leaving clones in her wake.

Ren's eyes widened as the clone disappeared, realizing he had shot Yang.

"Ugh, not cool man," said Yang, staggering.

"Huh?" Nora slammed Magnhild into the ground, getting it stuck. "Aww man!"

Blake strided to the right, throwing the black ribbon connected to Gambol Shroud at Belladonna's neck.

It never reached its destination. Belladonna grinned, ribbon in hand. "Better than the rest, but predictable." She might be biased because it was herself though.

Blake's eyes widened. With a swing, Belladonna sent her flying into Nora. They slammed into the wall.

"Don't forget about me!" yelled Yang, fist rushing towards the back of the older cat-faunus's head.

She punched through empty air. "Where-"

A knee slammed into her stomach, sending her into the air. Then she felt herself thrown across the room.

"Don't speak before you attack, bird brain. Unless you know you're going to win."

Yang landed next to Red, who had just dodged another attack by Crescent Rose.

"Stay still!" Ruby demanded.

"Hello, little sister," Red said to Yang. "How much do you like being a shield?"

"W-what?" Red grabbed the blonde and let Jaune slam into her.

"Oof, S-sorry," Jaune managed, falling to the floor with Yang.

"GET OFF, BARF BOY!" Yang's eyes turned red and she sucker-punched Jaune in the guts.

The poor boy was sent flying into the ceiling and then fell. He was caught by Pyrhha.

"Jaune!"

"I-I think I'm gonna take a nap now," said Jaune, fainting. Pyrrha carefully put him on the floor. She glared at Yang before turning her full attention to Red.

"I will accomplish what my fearless leader set out to do," declared the Spartan. "FOR JAUNE!" She threw Milo at Red.

Red disappeared in a flurry of rose petal. Milo evidently missed the mark.

Red reappeared behind Weiss, who had been looking for her. "I'm right here!"

Weiss jumped. "Red-"

The red-caped woman grabbed Weiss and slammed her into the ground, knocking the breath right out of the heiress. "Standing still will get you killed…unless you surround yourself with a bunch ridiculous summons." _I'm looking at you, other Weiss. Why in the world do you need a penguin summon?...and how did you manage to defeat a penguin?_

Pyrrha changed Milo's course, seeing an opportunity to get in a hit.

Red swerved and grabbed the spear. "Nice weapon you've got here, I'd like to modify it...it'd make a great toothpick for a whale, I think."

She dodged Crescent Rose as Ruby tried to get her...again. "Man, I don't remember my entire inventory being slashing and striking."

Ruby transformed Crescent Rose into its sniper mode. "It isn't!" She shot at her older self.

 _Does using someone else's weapon count as using a weapon?_ debated Red. _...yeah, it probably does._

Red flashed towards Ruby. In moments, she was standing on top of the smaller Crescent Rose. She leaned until she was face to face with her younger self. "Y'know, I've been thinking for a while on a rocket mode for Crescent Rose." So she could ride it like a broomstick, that would be pretty cool.

"...a rocket mode?"

"Yep, and you just made me want it even more." Red grabbed Crescent Rose's barrel and rammed it into her younger self's face.

Ruby collapsed, dreaming of different types of weapons. _Mm. A lance that's a walking stick? A watch that's a sword? A super-killer transforming sword, axe, rocket launcher, shotgun combo?_

Pyrrha looked around for anything else metal. She didn't really want to use her shield as a weapon. How lame would that be? **(Somewhere in a secret base, Captain America sneezed.)** Her eyes locked on Red's Crescent Rose. _Here goes nothing…_ She used her polarity semblance to pull the weapon towards her.

Yang kicked at the older version of her little sister. Her foot was blocked by a hand. Red raised an eyebrow. "Wow. I didn't realize how much you've change your fighting style." She was really gonna rub it into her world's Yang's face whenever her sister got back.

Yang gritted her teeth. "Shut. Up. And. Just. Let. Me. Hit. You."

"...being polite is a virtue, y'know." Red grabbed Yang's arm, using the force of Yang's punch, she threw the girl at Belladonna. "Bella! Catch!"

Belladonna looked over to see a yellow cannonball heading her way. "Don't call me Bella!" She caught Yang and hurled the blonde at Ren. The two of them collided.

Just as Nora and Blake managed to untangle themselves, two bodies flew into them. They slammed into the wall...again.

"Heh, only one more to go," said Red. She looked back at Pyrrha. Instantly, her amusement turned into fury. "Pyrrha Nikos. Are you perhaps _TRYING TO USE CRESCENT ROSE?!"_

Pyrhha, who had been trying, and failing, to lift Crescent Rose off the ground, paled.

"PREPARE TO DIE!"

Belladonna sighed. _I better stop Red from committing accidental homicide._

* * *

"Thank you," said Yang, taking the turtle food from the bandit's hand. She examined it slowly, and nodded to herself. "What do you think, Mertle?"

The radioactive turtle sat on a royal, Beowulf skinned wallet. He nodded appreciatively.

"Guess that's a yes then." Yang looked at the bandit. "Good job, dude."

The bandit beamed at the praise and merrily walked away.

Raven, who stood besides Yang, twitched. She had been doing a lot of the form of twitching the last few days...it all started when she found out the new leader of _her_ bandit tribe was her own daughter from the future of all people…

* * *

" _I need your last name," said Raven, finally calming down. She had just finished a thirty-minute rant on the stupidity of the situation. Which was enough time for the bandits to recover Vernal from the top of a tree somewhere in the forest and rush her to medical care._

 _Yang yawned, her first defense against one of her mother's infamous tirades._

" _Did you hear me?"_

" _Huh? What?"_

" _Your. Last. Name." Raven resisted the urge to strange the blonde then and there. The woman should at least have the dignity to listen to her!_

" _Oh. Xiao Long."_

" _...your name is_ Yang Xiao Long." _Now Raven prided herself on many things, stupidity was not one of them. She was also not a woman that believes in coincidences._

" _Yep. If your confused, that's because I'm the future version of your daughter," said Yang distractedly. She paused. "Oops?"_

 _Raven twitched. "Can you repeat that?"_

* * *

Raven swore she didn't need help.

"Hey," said Yang. "Is there y'know, internet in this place? 'Cause I feel bad for you if you don't."

Raven twitched. No, she didn't need help, _at all._

* * *

Whitley Schnee was scared to death. He had been ever since his apparent aunt six times removed moved into Schnee Manor and called it hers. Then the scary lady had said that he needed 'rehab' or something or another. Which was apparently why he was in a mental hospital. What could he possibly need rehab for?

The psychiatrist pinched her nose. "Try again."

"Father's rule is-is always there."

"...that means the same thing as 'father's rule is absolute,'" said the psychiatrist. She released a calming breath. _I demand a raise. This has been going on for the last three days for Oum's sake._

* * *

Moon was having a great three days. She had fired every and all of Jacques's shady people, and _by Oum_ there was a lot of them. She had sent Whitley to a medical center, which she always thought he needed. She had made Jacques himself wear a butler's outfit, and that was probably the loudest she had laughed since she managed to _finally_ get Jaune together with _someone, anyone._ And most importantly, she got to know her mother more.

They had a lot in common.

"Oh yes," agreed Ms. Schnee, sipping her tea. "I swear, flirters are horrible excuses for human beings."

"Mm." Moon gulped down her coconut juice. Living in the same mansion with Yang had made tea a rarity. So Moon needed a replacement...and it turned out that not only was coconut juice a great replacement, it was superior. "Yes. Usually, I either kick them across the room or beat the flirting out of them."

Ms. Schnee laughed daintily. "Aren't you a strong woman?"

"Well I _do_ work part-time as a Huntress." Or did, or will, specifics don't matter all that much.

Suddenly Ms. Schnee's face turned dark. "You know when I began to hate Jacques?"

Said man, who was attempting (and doing a horrible job) on cutting the shrubs nearby, froze.

"Hm?"

"When he admitted to me he only married me for the family name! I already knew, but could he be more blunt? And on our daughter's tenth birthday no less! What. A. Jerk!"

"It _did_ suck _,"_ agreed Moon. She didn't get over it until the Schnee Dust Company got trampled by Salem's forces in the Invasion. That was a nice silver lining to the whole horrible month. Of course, she had to pick up the pieces to create the monopoly that was Schnee Company, afterwards, but details.

Ms. Schnee didn't notice Moon's mistake. She nodded vigorously. "Exactly."

"Ms. Schnee?" asked Klein, walking into the courtyard.

""Yes?"" both Schnees replied.

"President Schnee," corrected Klein. "It seems news of your...abrupt rise to power has finally leaked out to the media."

Moon sighed. "Let me guess. A horde of reporters are waiting at the front door." _Killjoys._

"Well, yes."

Moon stood up. "Looks like I have a bunch of rabid dogs to calm. It was nice talking to you Mo-Ms. Schnee."

The other Schnee smiled. "It'd be a pleasure to do so again."

"Oh and Jacques you can take a break after you finish with the shrubs." Jacques sighed in relief, hands trembling. Moon was certain the man needed the exercise. He probably sat on his butt all day, everyday, before she had usurped him.

The three day President of the Schnee strided to meet the crowd manor waiting in front of the Schnee Manor.

* * *

Moon didn't know why she thought it was a good idea to go _into_ the crowd of reporters. In hindsight, she should've just stayed on the porch...of the fifth floor.

"How did you manage to make Jacques Schnee give up his role? Where is he now?" asked one reporter, shoving a microphone in Moon's face.

Another reporter pushed the man away. "What are you going to do about Jacques Schnee's children?"

Flashing light bombarded Moon as various pictures were taken and video tapes started.

"Oh! What are your plans against the White Fang?" ask another.

"Please get out of the way," said a reporter, kicking at the other one.

"How rude," retorted the other reporter, who shoved the wrong reporter.

"Hey!"

A full-out war ensued. Bodies tumbled over and against each other like a set of faulty dominoes.

Moon put a gloved hand on her face, exasperated. _Why am I even here?_

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Here is my first Omake for someone...and nobody reads the A/N anyway... *goes off into a corner* ~"LET IT GO! LET IT GO! CAN'T HOLD YOU BACK ANYMORE! LET IT GOOO! LET IT GOOOOOO!~**

 **...Beta Reading Credits are for ten-year old little bro... ~Let it goooo~**

* * *

 **Omake III: Flipping the Tables**

 **Courtesy of Nightwing2013**

Moon was trying hard to stay calm, she really was.

"Let's go over this apparently magnificent plan titled 'The Seven-Step Nefarious Plan to Ultimate Success' again, shall we?" she said to the assembled shady business people.

The shady business men and women nodded nervously. _This woman is scary._

"Step One; Make more money by increasing Dust prices to a breaking point," said Moon. "Am I right?"

Her audience nodded.

"Step Two: Hire more illiterate people from the streets and trick them into accepting less then minimum wage?" _Hire_ more _illiterate people? By Oum, my father is a horrible person._

"Step Three: Make the faunus have more children?" _Alright-that is just plain WRONG._

"Step Four: Sabotage the competition...with hit-men." _Evidently, Jacques wasn't very creative either._

A few of the shady business people nodded excitedly. Apparently, Step Four was popular.

Step Five and Six: Steal other people's property and build on them, respectively." _He even wrote a three page essay on the how...and it is complete and utter bullshit._

"Step Seven: Bathe in Lien...how is that even considered a step?"

"Because it's fun!" yelled out one of the business men.

He was met with an ensemble of cheers.

Moon calmly rotated her $20,000 chair (newly owned) around and gripped the bottom of the table. "...I see." Two armored gauntlets appeared next to her hands.

She flipped the table. It catapulted across the room and landed with a resounding thump

The shady gentlemen and women looked shakily at the black marble table, which now rested against the wall. They all felt naked without the support of the expensive furniture.

"As of right now," seethed Moon. "You are _all_ fired. Feel free to _never_ come back, anytime."

 **(...and feel free to think if this is RWBY: Time-Travel, because why not? Canon or not.)**

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Sinnerlust: You. Are. A. Genius! (*scribbles down note for idea on random napkin*)**

 **merendinoemiliano: I'll try my best to keep up the humor! And yes, Mertle has radiation and aura. He's just that awesome.**

 **Mobydicks: *thumbs up* Hell yeah!**

 **Dev the snake faunus: ...the TF Universe is doomed. Btw, which TF universe is it?**

 **Nightwing2013: Hope I did your idea justice!**

* * *

 **As always, Constructive Critisiscm and Suggestions.**

 **Do the RFF!**


	9. Every Story Needs a Training Arc

**Chp IX: Every Story Needs a Training Arc**

 **Disclaimer: Nada, no own RWBY or Rooster Teeth.**

 **"I don't know what I'm doing with my life..." ~ ARK**

* * *

"Are you _sure_ this was a good idea?" asked Belladonna with a raised eyebrow.

"Help me!" screamed Jaune as a pack of Beowulf chased him after his behind.

"Pfft," Red sipped her soda. "It was a genius idea."

She sat on a rock in the Abandoned Temple somewhere in the middle of Emerald Forest.

Pyrrha came to Jaune's rescue, impaling all of the Beowulf in a row with Milo.

"Wow. Go Pyrrha!" exclaimed Ruby. Yang had to punch another Beowulf in the face to protect her little sister.

"*Huff* *wheeze* yeah, go Pyrrha." Jaune gave the Spartan two thumbs up. "Just *hack* lemme catch my *hff* breath."

"See? They're already learning teamwork," commented Red.

Red had thought of the brilliant idea of dumping Team JNPR and RWBY in Emerald Forest for the weekend...and she didn't tell Ozpin, but who cared?

"...right."

"You dolt!" screamed Weiss, using Mytremaster to shield against a Boarbatusk. "Help me over here!"

"Of course Weiss! We're BFFs!" Ruby slammed Crimson Rose down on the Boarbatusk. It disintegrated.

"Look out, people!" Nora exclaimed, riding on a bigger Boarbatusk. The Grimm trampled through the Abandoned Temple.

"...do we need to pay for damages?" asked Belladonna.

Red waved her concerns away. " _Please_ , it's already damaged."

"Point."

Ren and Blake came running out of the trees, a swarm of Lancers, giant wasp Grimm, chasing after them.

"Huh, I didn't even know we had Lancers in Emerald Forest."

"...I always thought Ozpin liked dumping random Grimm into Emerald Forest," said Belladonna.

"Sounds like something he would do." _Challenge students and get rid of more Grimm, win, win._ Red set down her soda and got up. "We wouldn't want to leave the poor kids incapable of fighting, now would we? They still have another day left to live through."

She grinned, extending Crescent Rose. Red shifted it into rocket launcher mode, aimed, and pulled the trigger.

A harmless looking bullet shot out. It jammed itself into a Lancer, then promptly exploded. The radius was around 100 feet...and that was only with a little dust.

Blake and Ren looked back at the newly created crater.

"I am now _very_ glad Red did not use Crescent Rose on us," decided Blake, slowing down.

"Agreed," Ren said.

"Heh, phoenix dust always does the trick," said Red. Smoke drifted out of Crescent Rose's barrel.

"It's also an expensive overkill," Belladonna added.

Red noticed that all of Team RWBY and JNPR was staring at the smoking crater. "What are you people doing? Remember, the Team with the least kills gets my 'super special treat'." Super special treat being the 'garbage dinner', where Red would through together anything and everything she found in the woods and cook it in murky water. Yes, _that_ super special treat.

All eight huntsmen and huntresses paled. Red had given a nice 'demonstration' the other day...as in she had forcibly stuffed the 'special treat' into each of their mouths. Even Nora had been scarred for life.

"GET KILLING, TEAM RWBY!" screamed Ruby. She was met with three overly eager shouts. The team scattered to the far reaches of Emerald Forest.

"Y-yeah!" managed Jaune. "GO TEAM JNPR! ...so we don't die tonight!"

Nora decapitated her Barbatusk with a heart rocket.

"I DON'T WANNA DIE!" she screamed. Nora grabbed Ren by the collar and dragged him into the forest with her.

 _I haven't seen Nora so motivated in a long time,_ thought Ren. _I'm so proud._

"I'll take that side," said Pyrrha , pointing to the north end. "Bye!" she said quickly, before rushing off.

"Huh?" Jaune blinked. "Right, you do that...I'll just go… uh, _this_ way." He went the opposite direction.

Red looked at Belladonna. "Ah, the good old days, when Jaune was still a lovable idiot." She paused. "Instead of a mad scientist."

"You _do_ realize he's going in the direction of a Grimm den, right?" asked Belladonna.

"Hm? Oh yeah, he'll live. He _does_ have that insanely strong aura." Red plopped down on an ancient slab. "Now all we need to do is wait."

"...want to play Poker?" asked Blake, pulling out a deck of cards from...somewhere.

Red shrugged. "Why not? Deal me the cards."

* * *

"We...are...so...pooped," said Ruby, stumbling into the Abandoned Temple. Red looked up from her hand.

"Oh hey," she said nonchalantly.

Belladonna checked her scroll. "7:48 pm. You still have twelve minutes left."

Weiss collapsed on the spot. Which was the side of the Abandoned Temple. "I want a bed...and a massage butler."

"...you get massage butlers?" asked Yang, face-planting onto the ground. "Gimme some of that," she said, voice muffled.

Blake landed wobbly onto the ground from a tree. "I...don't think any of us….are using that time…left." She flopped onto the floor.

"...make a note, we're working on endurance tomorrow," decided Red.

The four teens groaned in synchrony.

A few minutes later, Ren and Nora stumbled out of the forest.

"Please tell me we're never doing this again," muttered Ren, slumping onto the floor.

"Come on!" Nora said. "We totally beat team RWBY! Go, go JNPR!" She tried to run around, and failed. Nora fell into a shrub.

Finally, Jaune and Pyrrha walked out, an arm slung on each other. Jaune was battered and bruise, but didn't look _too_ bad all things considered. Pyrrha...her hair had been cut to her shoulders.

Red beamed. "Pyrrha, love the haircut!"

Pyrrha looked at the woman incredulously.

"You just wanted to get her back for the Crescent Rose incident two days ago," said Belladonna.

Red put on a strickened look. " _Huh!?_ Belladonna, I wouldn't!"

"You totally would," Belladonna muttered, remembering a certain incident with Red's favorite set of Huntress clothing, poop, and a radioactive turtle. Having to deal with angry business owners was _not fun_.

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _Pyrrha looked around nervously, ready to strike down any Grimm that came her way. The never-ending forest seemed to crowd in on her. ...She could really use Jaune around, the amazing blonde certainly knew how to make her feel better… even if he was a very thick person._

 _She felt a rush of wind to her side. She swerved._ What was that? _Her eyes tried to pinpoint the location. She turned-_

Snip! _Pyrrha felt a tiny tug at her hair. She looked behind her...to see strands of red hair slowly fall to the ground. What she could've sworn were rose petals faded out of existence._

" _Huh?"_ What on Remnant just happened?

* * *

"Yeah no, pfft. I wouldn't do _anything_ of the sort. What petty revenge would that be?"

Belladonna could only face-palm.

"Right. gather up boys and girls," said Red. Team JNPR and RWBY slowly made a half-circle around the red-caped woman.

"Alright, Grimm kills guys! I wanna be impressed!"

"...I'll know if you're lying…" said Belladonna dully. Her cat ears picked up teenage lies easily, but that doesn't mean she _wanted_ to be the lie detector.

"Oh! Oh! Us first!" exclaimed Ruby… not jumping up and down because she didn't have the energy at the moment. "I got forty-two!"

"...twenty-seven," admitted Weiss, sounding very put off that Ruby managed to get more than her.

"Forty-nine!" said Yang proudly.

"Thirty-five," Blake said.

Weiss glared at her three teammates, steam seemed to come off of her head.

"..That would be 153 in total," said Belladonna, doing some quick math.

Jaune seemed to deflate. "...nine."

Pyrrha looked at him sympathetically. "Don't worry Jaune, I had twenty-eight."

"...fifty-one," said Ren.

Nora puffed up. "Nora to the rescue! I got… NINETY-TWO!"

Red looked at Belladonna for confirmation. Belladonna sighed and nodded.

* * *

Flashback

 _Belladonna ran on top of the trees, jumping from one to another. Her destination? A certain Grimm den to the north. She skidded to a stop as an explosion caught her attention. A big mushroom cloud went up from her right. Belladonna switched directions. A little detour wouldn't hurt would it?_

 _...She came across the scene of an electricity filled Nora. Now anyone who knew Nora long enough would know that electricity was the equivalent of caffeine...and also know that giving the already hyper girl caffeine was NOT a good idea._

" _WOOPEE!" exclaimed Nora, zipping from one side of the cleared out zone to another….and rinse and repeat. "IIIII AAMMMM SSOOOO HHHIIIGHHH RRRIIIGGHHHT NOW!"_

 _Ren sighed, slamming a hand to his forehead. "This was not one of my brightest ideas…" But desperate times called for desperate measures. Unbeknownst to most people, Ren hid a fully charged taser on him at all times. Both as a safety precaution and...a safety unprecaution (i.e Nora)._

 _A poor King Taijitu just happened upon the scene. It got pummeled by Nora and took a heart grenade to both heads for good measure._

 _Belladonna decided the two had the situation under control._

* * *

Red glowered at Team RWBY. "...I am so disappointed in you guys right now." Of course she had been rooting for her own team. It was her team, other dimensional past or not!

The four girls looked anywhere but Red.

"Yang would have a fit," noted Belladonna drily. As in the blonde would probably have punched all four girls into space.

"...where _is_ Future Yang anyway?" asked Blake.

"We'll find out eventually," said an unconcerned Belladonna.

"We're getting distracted!" snapped Red. She glared. "Get ready for the worst night in your lives, girls."

Team RWBY felt a shiver go down their backs.

* * *

 _The Next Day_

"Ruby! I love you, but your future self is a freaking slave driver!" exclaimed Yang. Team RWBY was sprinting as far away as possible from a certain eyepatched woman.

"I know!"

"Just. Concentrate. On. Running!" said Weiss through gritted teeth. She pushed herself off one of her glyphs, gaining an edge compared to her teammates.

Blake was leaving afterimages like nobody's business behind her. She dared to look back. "She's gaining!" Blake returned to looking in front of her.

"Boo!" exclaimed Red, suddenly appearing in front of the team. She laughed maniacally. "Now run little ones!" She slashed Crescent Rose.

"Other direction! Other direction!" ordered Ruby, skidding to a halt. She scurried left, her teammates close behind her.

Thirty seconds later, bullets started whooshing pass the team.

"Come on! I even gave you guys a 20 minute head start!" Red said from behind them.

Weiss narrowly avoided a bullet. "Someone stop her!"

"None of us are inclined to volunteer!" snapped Blake.

"Do that Freezerburn mist thingy!" screamed Ruby. "The one we've been practicing on!"

 _Boom!_ A tree exploded next to the team.

"When I said 'someone' I didn't mean _me!"_ Weiss retorted but stopped and turn anyway. She froze the ground in front of her.

"Here I go!" said Yang, jumping up and using gravity to make herself punch into the ice while firing Ember Celica.

A mist formed from the impact, seeping through the forest.

"Let's do the art of running!" exclaimed Ruby, turning into a red streak.

Red reloaded rocket launcher Crescent Rose. She smiled. _They're learning._

* * *

Meanwhile, Team JNPR was having a much better time...one could say.

"Jaune," said Blake. "You only did 112 push ups, I said at least 200! Redo!"

Jaune moaned from the floor. "...yes, ma'am…"

"-n. I will not be an idiot and fight super powerful people on my own. I will not be an idiot and fight super powerful people on my own. I will not be an idiot and fight super powerful people on my own. I-" recited Pyrrha dutifully, who for the life of her couldn't figure out why she was repeating those lines. She sat on the ground, crossed legged, her newly cut hair blowing in the wind. Basically, she was being very zen.

"...how is this beneficial again?" asks Ren weakly. He struck yet another stone slab with his bare hand. It was immediately replaced by another slab, thanks to Nora.

"Yeah! This is sooooooo boring!" complained Nora. She went off to get another stack of stone slabs. "This is worse then watching paint dry! ...okay maybe not, but stillllll."

Ren winced as he punched the bland grey slab, splitting it into three pieces. Yeah, he was going to have hand problems for a while after this.

"This is beneficial _because_ I am helping you work on all your faults," said Blake.

"But there's nothing wrong with me!" Nora pointed to herself.

If Ren's hands didn't feel like jelly with pin needles in them, he would've face-palmed. "...so maybe I'm lacking on physical strength," he conceded. "But why is Pyrrha reciting the same line over and over again?"

Pyrrha paused, the same question on her face.

"Don't stop," commanded Blake. The red-haired girl quickly got back into repeating the same sentence. "Pyrrha is reciting those lines because she needs to imprint them into her brain...permanently. And then actually _follow_ them."

Question marks appeared over Ren's head.

* * *

Yang threw up in a bush. "Ugh. Yesterday's dinner is _not_ sitting right in me."

"Please...don't remind me," said Weiss, turning green.

"Look out," said Ruby. "Any sign of old me?"

"No," answered Blake, sitting in a tree. She let out a sigh of relief.

"I am _not_ old," said an offended Red. "I'm only 25!"

"That's-" Ruby jumped. "RED!"

"Red? Red what?" asked Red. She looked around.

"Scatter!" yelled Ruby.

The four teammates ran for four separate directions. ...They never made it that far. Within seconds, Red had pulled them back into the clearing.

"Do you _really_ think I would let you go that easily?" said Red cheerily. "You guys _did_ fail me." Under no circumstances should Team JNPR beat Team RWBY in _anything,_ period. If Red's world's JNPR caught wind of this, Penny would save the data forever, Nora would make a song out of it, Ren would look infuriatingly smug, and Jaune...Jaune would lord it over them _for all of eternity._

 _Yeah, no. These munchkins are gonna PAY…and maybe learn a lesson or two on the side._

* * *

Weiss had never been happier to see Team RWBY's dorm ...so it sucked that only minutes afterwards, class was starting.

"I just wanna sleep!" cried Ruby, hugging her pillow religiously. "Weiss! Please let us have the day off!"

"I second that decision," said Yang. "Among other things, we look and smell like shi-" She glanced at Ruby. "-sugar coated unicorn poop."

Weiss tried really hard to resist...but she couldn't. For once, her teammate's logic was, well, _logical_. "...fine, just this _one_ time."

"I call dibs on bathroom," Blake said, already shutting the door.

* * *

 _Team JNPR's Dorm_

"Ow, ow, ow," muttered Jaune. "I think I broke my back." He jolted himself up. A series of cracks went through his spine. "...that did not sound right."

"You're not the only one with physical problems," said Ren. He tried to close his hands into fists. Ren winced as pain flared up his arm.

"I can't get it out my head," muttered Pyrrha, brushing her badly cut hair. "...I will not be an idiot and fight super powerful people on my own…"

Nora was unresponsive on her bed. "I don't ever want to see a stone slab again...Ren, help meeee."

* * *

 _In Red and Belladonna's Lounge_

Belladonna scrolled down her...scroll. She paused. "Huh, Ozpin actually said yes."

"So it's a go?" asked Red, coming out of the shower. "When?"

"Two weeks from now, apparently we need to read the material."

"That makes sense, sounds boring though," said Red. She grinned. "You excited?"

Belladonna grinned back. "I haven't been this excited in a _long_ time."

A beep went off from her scroll. Belladonna looked down. "Hey, looks like we got mail from Yang. It says ' _Show EVERYBODY. Blakey kitty, I'm looking at you."_

Belladonna's eye twitched. "She knows me too well…"

Red laughed.

* * *

...Which was how Team RWBY, JNPR, and future R_B_ ended up in Team RWBY's dorm.

"Future Yang sent a video?" asked Ruby from her bed. "Lemme see!"

"I'm sure it's gonna be 'yangtastic'," said Yang. "Am I right?"

Everyone ignored her.

"When she wrote everyone, doesn't that mean Ozpin and Glynda too?" asked Weiss. She was seeing a severe lack of adults...Red and Belladonna didn't count in her book, not anymore.

"This is Yang we're talking about," said Belladonna. "If she says everyone, it usually means Team RWBY, Team JNPR, but not the old people."

Red nodded. "Which is how you know I'm _not_ old." Yeah, she was not going to get mixed in with Ozpin of all people. The old fart was there at the beginning of time for Oum's sake!

Ruby shifted nervously.

Belladonna set her scroll on Weiss's desk. Much to the Heiress's distress. The teams crowded around it. Belladonna pressed the play button.

The screen turned from blank to...someone's feet.

" _Oh my Oum! Have you people never learned to use cameras!?" a voice asked incredulously. "Bring the thing up to my face!"_

Red and Belladonna instantly recognized the voice as Yang from their future universe.

" _No. They, in fact, have not," said another woman's voice as the camera panned to Yang's face._

 _Yang gave a peace-sign, Mertle the radioactive turtle on her head. "Yo guys!"_

"...I just realized something," said Yang. "MY HAIR GOT CUT?!"

"No complaining," Belladonna said. "Pyrrha hasn't complained yet and this happened to _her_ , not her other self."

Pyrrha twirled her finger in her shortened locks. Sure, she hadn't, but that didn't mean she didn't _want_ to. She was just to nice for that.

"...I'm more worried as to why there's a turtle," said Weiss.

Red glowered and Belladonna shivered.

" _So...Weiss, don't be mad...but I kinda, sorta took over the Branwen Tribe. It's the Xiao-Long tribe now."_

"The Branwen Tribe?" asked Weiss. She didn't know why she would be mad about that.

Belladonna's eye twitched. "Oh no…"

" _I didn't know alright!? It just ended up happening! And hey…" Yang's hand went off camera to get something. "I got you a pen gun! It writes too! ...and sounds like penguin."_

Weiss winced. _How did she know I like penguins?_

"A pen gun?" said Red. "Yang, _I_ want that." Seriously, her sister's priorities are way off. Sisters before girlfriends, always. ...Unless it's Belladonna.

" _Right. Is mini-me watching this too?" Yang went off-screen. A few seconds later she was dragging in a black-haired red eyed woman. "Come on! Don't be shy! Say hi to your actual daughter."_

 _Raven looked away from the screen. "...hi."_

"Mom?" choked out Yang. "W-what?"

" _I'm sure your confused right now mini-me...and probably feeling the feels too. So I'm gonna tell you the important bits."_

" _...can I leave now?" asked Raven. She tried to edge off the set._

" _No," said Yang, pulling her back without looking. "Okay mini-me. First, your mom is a jerk."_

" _Hey!" yelled someone off-screen._

" _Second, your mom is a stalker."_

" _I'm not," denied Raven, looking VERY uncomfortable._

" _Third...she's kinda a coward."_

 _Raven twitched._

" _And forth...you can visit anytime! I can just make her pop out one of her insta-portals and ta-da, fast travel."_

" _It's not called an 'insta-portal' muttered Raven. "and I don't_ pop _them out either."_

 _Yang looked over the camera. "Yeah?"_

" _Seriously? Your cameras suck."_

 _She looked back into the lense. "Apparently these cameras have like, ten-minute life-spans. And their internet sucks too so I bet this thing won't even get sent until the next day."_

" _Bandits don't pay electric bills," Raven muttered._

" _Peace-out guys!"_

There was a moment of weirded out silence after the video came to an abrupt end.

"...should I send this to Weiss?" asked Blake.

"Yeah. At least _she_ knows what self-control means," said Red.

"...wait," said Ren slowly. "Yang took over a bandit tribe...that our Yang's mother is a part of?"

"Raven's supposed to be the leader," said Red. She looked at Blake. "Am I getting my facts right?"

Blake nodded. "...which means Yang probably had to challenge the leader or something…" said Blake. Her eye started involuntarily twitching again. "...and she knows nothing about keeping a low profile."

Yang had started pacing around the room in circles. Ruby looked worriedly at her half-sister, which had never been more apparent then now.

"Um. Yang?" asked Ruby worriedly.

"Just...let me think for a while."

Belladonna's ears flickered. "Alright. Everyone out of the dorm."

"But-"

"Now."

Team RWB_ and JNPR shuffled out. Red following closely behind them.

"Thanks," said Yang.

Belladonna looked at her. "Stuff like this is a lot to take in." At least Yang was coping way better than she had with the whole White Fang reveal. Belladonna softly closed the door behind her.

* * *

Weiss walked listlessly down the halls of Beacon. Honestly, she had no idea what to do at the moment, her dorm being off limits and all. ...she also had no one to talk to. Which was sad, because she was starting to realize that Team RWBY and to an extent, JNPR was the entirety of her social life. She strided passed a lounge on a floor she hadn't even been on before. ...Beacon was a big school.

" _...since this Moon Schnee has taken over the Schnee Dust Company, a total of nearly two hundred people, including Jacques Schnee has been fired. Now- CAFFEINE! I'M CAFFEINE!~_

The lounge rooms were decent, Weiss supposed. Nice and comfortable, but nothing- _wait, what?!_

She quickly back tracked to the lounge she had just passed.

A random team sat lazily on the couch, listening to their rock music blaring from the TV.

"Isn't this song a little...loud?" asked a rabbit faunus Weiss identified as Velvet from her classes. She was attempting to cover her rabbit ears.

"Come on! It's like it was made for us!" said a sunglasses wearing teen, jumping up and dancing.

Weiss grabbed the remote control from the biggest guy in the room. Who kind of resembled a bear.

"Huh?"

Weiss jammed her fingers on channel 51, the news channel.

A picture of herself showed up on the screen.

" _This is Weiss Schnee, who was the heir of the SDC under Jacques Schnee's presidency. It has been confirmed by Moon Schnee, the new head, that Weiss Schnee will continue to be the heir,"_ a news lady said. " _Now, for footage of the...interview."_

The sunglasses teen looked between Weiss and the screen. "Hey, you're that heir."

"What? Really?" asked a dark-skinned red-head.

Weiss ignored them. Because she was preoccupied...with the fact that the future version of herself had just appeared on screen.

 _A blizzard blew through the street. The footage zoomed in on Moon._

" _I'm glad we got to talk...what's your name?" started Moon._

" _It-it's Bob Valentine."_

 _At that moment, a screaming reporter flew pass the background of the screen. A victory penguin quack could be heard._

" _Please ignore the background noise," said Moon with an eye smile. "There's nothing to worry about."_

 _A fire broke out from a news van. Alarms started blaring and people began shouting._

" _R-right. So who's going to take over the SDC after you retire? N-not that you're going to anytime soon...haha."_

" _Well, I expect Weiss Schnee to take over...At the very least, she's far superior than Whitley."_

Weiss screamed internally in her head. She ran out of the room. She needed to get in contact with her older self. Like _now._

"What was that?" asked Yatsuhashi.

The rest of team CFVY could only shrug.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: ...so it turned out some people DO read these things. O_o (None of you heard my amazing rendition of 'Let it Go!', _none_ of you, understood?!) And man, these chapters keep on growing on their own...I didn't even get to do what I wanted! BTW! Did ya guys notice my new story pic?! I drew that baby myself!**

 **Beta-Reading, just like every time, goes to chubby ten-year old bro.**

* * *

 **Omake IV: Transformers and Team JNPR...what have I done?**

 **Requested by Dev the Snake Faunus**

"I wonder where Team RWBY's at," mused Nora. She shoved Ren lightly. "What'd you think?"

Ren paused from eating his chicken fried rice. "I don't know, they could be anywhere."

Team JNPR sat at a booth in a chinese restaurant. This was their tradition, so to speak. Team RWBY had their weekly Hunter Missions, Team JNPR ate.

Jaune fiddled with a device. "Mm." He distractedly spooned his wonton soup and stuffed the spoon in his mouth. He spewed it out. "HOT!"

Penny poked at her dumplings. "Perhaps we should put trackers on them," she proposed. "That way we can never lose them!"

"...wouldn't the trackers just come off after a while?" asked Ren. Knowing the shenanigans RWBY got themselves into, it was more than likely.

"Indestructible trackers!" exclaimed Nora.

"We would need indestructible tape too," added Penny.

"...Now that just sounds like a safety hazard."

"...Guys?" said Jaune.

"""Yes?"""

"I think I messed something up," he said looking up.

Ren, Nora, and even Penny paled. It is well known that if Jaune messed something up, you better run fast.

A beacon of light beamed from Jaune's rubix cube -like device, engulfing Team JNPR.

* * *

They ended up falling from the sky.

"WHEEE!" screamed Nora happily. "THIS MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY BE ALL THAT BAD!"

"I'm getting flashbacks," muttered Jaune. He pulled out a cube and transformed it into a rocket launcher. He pulled the trigger, a web shot out...which transformed into a trampoline on impact.

Team JNPR bounced off the trampoline and landed on rocky ground.

Pew pew sounds echoed around them.

"Humans?" said a gravelly voice. "Perfect! Kill them, Decepticons!"

"Autobots, protect the earthlings!" ordered a weirdly heroic-sounding voice.

"I am not a human," said Penny, standing up. "I am an android."

A laser bullet bounced off of her. "Huh? What was that?"

"Since when can humans do 'dat?" asked a DJ's voice.

"I repeat I am not a-" Nora was grabbed by a giant metal hand as more laser bullets aimed at her direction.

Team JNPR realized they were in a middle of a war zone...fought by what looked like giant robots.

"Jaune?" said Ren worriedly. "Where did you send us?"

Jaune was too busy gawking to answer. _WORKING GIANT ROBOTS! YEEASSS!_ He always wanted to see giant robots duking out. Hey, a boy can dream.

Nora looked around. "Are. Those. LASER GUNS? Are they playing laser tag? And is that a giant bucket headed robot? OMO count me in!" She extended Magnhild and rushed into battle. "I'm coming for you, buckethead! BE MY TROPHY!"

Megatron felt a shiver go down his metaphorical spine.

Ren face-palmed. He blinked as he realized that only an outline of his team leader was left.

Jaune had went off to the biggest robot he could see. Which was the red and blue one. "Hello! Can you understand me?!" he yelled up.

Optimus Prime narrowly avoided stepping on the blonde. That would've ruined his leadership cred. "Yes, human. Now please evacuate the area." He shot at the Decepticons. The Prime frowned under his mask as he felt something fleshy poke his feet.

"Wow. Pretty neat metal," examined Jaune. " _And_ you can understand me. Real impressive. Who made you guys?"

"...we are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron," recited Optimus from his written speech. He ducked as a missile rushed passed him. "Our race has been fighting a Civil War for millions of years."

"Alien robots?" muttered Jaune. "Huh. You learn something new everyday."

"I am the leader of the Autobots, who fight for peace and justice," continued Optimus. He shot down a few Decepticons. ...don't worry, they never die anyways. He nodded at the silver 'bucket head' as Nora had put it. "That is Megatron, tyrannical leader of the evil Decepticons."

Jaune nodded. "I see. Good guys have blue eyes, bad guys have red. Would've never figured."

"MWAHAHAHA, I WIN LASER TAG!" Nora exclaimed proudly. She had ripped off Megatron's head and was waving it around. "...do I get a reward?"

"...I think your multi-million years war just ended," noted Jaune.

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **snoogenz: Huh, Moon could. 0_o But yep, Salem's still out there.**

 **Nightwing2013: *two thumbs up***

 **Afro121 - Aries Rifter: LOL!**

 **Dev the snake faunus: CHALLENGE HAS BEEN ACCEPTED! (whaddya think?)**

 **DragonWalkerDEW: Thx. And voila, added the phoenix dust idea. Did I do it correctly?**

 **merendinoemiliano: ...good point on the shield, too bad it doesn't have any! (Alright, that was bad). Glad ya liked the fight scene.**

 **Anonymous: ...?**

 **Yuhitsu: I took that penguin idea and jammed it in there!**

* * *

 **As always, Constructively Criticism and Suggestions are always welcomed.**

 **Go and RFF!**


	10. Learning

**Chp X: Learning**

 **Disclaimer: SURPRISE! I don't own RT** _ **or**_ **RWBY! ...did I surprise you?**

" **Sometimes the wisest people are the dumbest..or vise-versa." ~ ARK**

* * *

"Hello?" Moon pressed the answer button on her small-sized personal scroll distractedly. She typed at a computer on her other hand.

" _This is Weiss! What did you do?!"_

"Mm, I took over the Schnee Dust Company." _How should I write this letter?_

"Why?!"

"Well, Jacques was doing some...let's call it _under the line_ business practices." Moon paused. "... _Oh,_ and he's a jerk."

" _Wh-what? Evidence! ...I know he's a jerk, but illegal practices?"_ Oh how she used to be so naive.

"Sure, I'll send you some later." She pressed the send button on the letter she was working on. "So what's been going on while I was away?"

" _...things."_

"I see. What did Ruby and Blake do?"

" _...they call themselves Red and Belladonna now."_

"Huh. Not very creative," said Moon.

" _I guess…"_

* * *

Somewhere in Remnant. In a dark and barren land...Salem, the mother of Grimm, got a ping on her scroll.

"Ugh. This is like the thousandth time this week…"

Salem pressed the message button.

* * *

 _Dear Pale White Creepo,_

 _I wanted to send you this friendly little letter to inform you of your imminent demise. If you're curious about the frequency of which I've sent these letters, it is merely to instill as much fear as I can. I am coming for you, as well as my penguin, as well as a crazy weapons lady, as well as an obsessed porn reader, as well as an insane pyromaniac, as well as an aura-induced radioactive turtle._

 _That's right._

 _You are going to die painfully. We already did it once._

 _Sincerely, Anonymous_

* * *

Salem's hands gripped her scroll. They began to shake.

"Er. Are you alright, master?" asked Arthur Watts.

"NO!" screamed an enraged Salem. Arthur, Tyrian, and Hazel nervously stepped back. "Who dares send this to me? I shall have them painfully executed!"

"...how did they get my profile information anyway?! It's not like I post it for the world to see!"

* * *

Red looked at Weiss. "...so our future dimension's Weiss fired Jacques and took over the Schnee Dust Company?"

Weiss waved at the scroll in her hand. " _Yes!_ I was just talking to her!"

"...darn, I want to see that when it happened," muttered Belladonna. It was understandable, she still detested the man for what he did after all these years. This cat-faunus can certainly keep a grudge.

Red facepalmed. "Is there _anyone_ on our team that is actually _responsible_?! I expected Weiss to keep us on track!"

 _I do!_ Weiss thought. _I don't know what happened to my other self. Where did she go wrong?_

Belladonna patted the red-caped woman's back. "Don't worry, we don't need responsibility. Besides, it was bound to happen eventually. We always _did_ joke Weiss might take over the world."

"Oh, by the way, Yang went to visit her mom."

Red threw her hands in the air. "People should tell me these things! I'm the Team Leader!"

* * *

Yang nervously stepped out of the swirling red portal. She was immediately greeted by her older self.

"Yo, little me," said the future Yang. She towered over her younger self.

"Hi...where are we?" Yang looked around the clearing in the middle of the forest. A few people were looking, but most were going about their own business, entering and exiting tents.

"Eh. Somewhere in Mistral." Future Yang waved off the question. "Doesn't really matter."

"And my mom…?"

"Behind you," said Raven. She grimaced as Yang's eyes locked onto her.

"Oh…" Yang shifted nervously. "Hi?"

"Punch her," whispered Future Yang into her younger self's ear without a shred of remorse. "It'll make you feel a lot better."

Yang looked at her future self. "Is that what _you_ did?"

"Uh...after a while. I was preoccupied at the time, alright?"

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _Raven removed her mask slowly...and overly dramatically._ " _Yang. So, after all this time you finally decided to visit me." (Yang refuses to admit her real hand was shaking.)_

 _Blah, blah, blah, exposition._

" _I'm NOT here for you," said Yang. Oh, BURN. "Ruby is somewhere in Mistral. She's with Qrow, and she's going to need my help. I just need you to take me to her." Suck it up, buttercup._

 _Raven did not look happy._

* * *

"I can hear everything you say," said Raven with a deadpan look. "...no one ever taught you stealth, did they?"

"Ha! I don't need stealth!" As an example, Future Yang's hand burst into flames.

 _Why can't I do that?_ thought Yang with a jealous look.

Raven ignored the other-dimensional blonde. She looked at her real daughter. "...let's just get this over with."

* * *

"...so you took over the Branwen tribe and named it after yourself?" asked Yang to her future self.

They sat on the floor of the leader's tent.

Future Yang nodded proudly. "Yep, I totally kicked Raven and Vernal butt." Well technically the last name thing was a requirement, but whatever.

Vernal, who had been passing by on her crutches muttered, "don't remind me…"

"I so wanna tell dad this!"

Raven twitched. "No." She would _never_ hear the end of it. Not to mention it would be _really_ awkward.

"Y'know…" said Future Yang. "I never knew how you guys managed to sit down and make a baby, usually you just scream at each other." It was truly a mystery of life.

"Too much info…" muttered Yang.

Future Yang grinned. "So what's my team been doing while I was away?"

* * *

"Weiss-or Moon now, took over her dad's company?" said Future Yang. She nodded to herself. This was why she dated the woman, independence was a virtue.

"...and they all have code names too?" she asked.

"Yep."

"Cool. I need one too. Mertle, any ideas?"

The radioactive turtle's head poked out of his Royal wallet. He gave Future Yang a look that said volumes of ' _I can't speak, woman.'_

Yang blinked. "Right. You have a turtle."

"Not just any turtle," said Future Yang proudly. "That turtle is Mertle, the _only_ radioactive turtle in the world."

Raven twitched.

"Anyway, code names," said Future Yang. "...how about, er…."

"Yellow?" supplied Yang.

"No." _What sort of name is Yellow? My name has to ooze coolness, like me._

"Fall?"

"NO!" She didn't need anything that resembled _Cinder_ of all people. The bitch.

"Oh wow, okay. Honey?"

"What? Noooo."

"Dragon?"

"Noo-actually, that's pretty good. Dragon it is!" said Dragon.

"You do realize that would mean your name is Dragon, Little Dragon, right?" asked Raven.

"So? It sounds awesome!"

* * *

 _Two Weeks Later…_

Weiss slammed her face into the nearest thing she could find...which was Yang. _Oh Oum…_

"Hey!" Yang said indignantly.

"Hello people!" said Red, standing on the amphitheater stage. "From now on, I will be your combat instructor." She frowned. "Yeah, poor Glynda needs a break." The lady was basically the headmaster of the school. Ozpin...Ozpin probably obsessed over his coffee most of the time (and other important stuff like defeating Salem, but hey, that was going nowhere).

Team RWBY and JNPR gaped at their new professor.

"Call me Professor Rose."

"...yeah, I like that," Red muttered underneath her breath.

She looked over the assembly of students and smiled. "Don't worry, I have very low expectations for all of you."

For some reason, Team JNPR and Team RWBY suddenly felt very worried.

* * *

...They were right to be so.

Cardin of Team CRDL flew across the amphitheater and out the door. He was screaming like a little girl the whole time too.

"...wow, I didn't it was possible for a person to fly and scream for that long," said Yang.

Jaune gulped. "Please don't tell me we're next."

Ruby came back to the group after a quick look at the board. "Hey guys! Team JNPR is next."

Jaune let out a long suffering sigh. Pyrrha put a hand on his shoulder for reassurance.

"...I didn't know it was possible for a person to bend that way," said Blake, transfixed. Poor Russell...on second thought, he was a jerk. He totally deserved it.

Professor Rose banged Dove and Sky's heads together. "Come on! When I was a kid, me and my team were already kicking evil organization butt!"

Team JNPR stared at Team RWBY.

""""We haven't!""""

* * *

 _Later…._

Bruised and battered, the two teams dragged themselves to Language Arts. Where for the second time that day, their mouths dropped to the ground.

"Hello students," said Belladonna. She gestured at the lecture hall desks. "Please, take a seat like the rest of your peers."

Team RWBY and Team JNPR numbly did so.

"I am Belladonna Night," said Belladonna. "You may refer to me as Professor Night. I have replaced the old Language Arts teacher as of today." That teacher was real forgettable and unimportant anyways.

Glasses somehow appeared on Professor Night's face at that moment. She pushed them up her nose and used a pointer to point at the board.

"Now today, we will be going over the English language and how to _properly_ use it." She glared at Yang. "I'm looking at you Ms. Xiao Long."

Yang laughed weakly. "Haha?"

* * *

"...Do _not_ use the term 'what's up' or 'what is up' to ask people what they are doing at a moment. The sky is up, that's what."

"...I never knew you could be such a boring teacher," whispered Ruby to Blake.

Blake herself was starry eyed. _My hero. Correcting the world's English from the villainous commoners._

"Are you even listening to me?" asked Ruby. She rubbed her eyes. Professor Night's tirade had been going on for the better part of half the hour.

Professor Night suddenly appeared in front of Yang, who had fallen asleep behind her textbook. The newly minted Professor ripped the textbook from Yang's desk, jolting the blonde awake.

"And if you _ever_ lose an arm, that does _not_ mean you can start using horrible hand and arm puns."

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _Ruby and Blake were cuddled together on the massive elegant, expensive sofa of the Schnee manor, reading a book on Blake's scroll. Weiss was scrolling through channels on the giant TV she had. ….Instead of actually working for her company._

" _Guys. GUYS. GUYS!" said Yang, walking into the living room._

 _No one looked at her._

" _I LOST MY ARM AGAIN!"_

""" _WHAT?!""" screamed Team RWB_. Ruby jumped out of Blake's arms. Weiss stood up abruptly and turned. Blake had a sinking feeling something was wrong._

 _Yang's arm_ was _missing, except it was the arm she already lost way back when._

" _Haha! Psyche!"_

" _That. Was. Not. Funny," said Weiss. She walked over to her girlfriend and dragged her to the door. "We need to talk."_

" _No but seriously, where did my arm go?"_

 _Blake covered her face. "Ughhh."_

 _Ruby looked at her. "Yep."_

* * *

Professor Belladonna returned to the center of the lecture room in a blur. She began ranting again, this time about the proper usage of 'its' and 'it's'.

Yang blinked. "Why do I feel like that was directed at me?"

* * *

Short Story II: Winter Reacts

"General Ironwood, you called for me?" asked Winter, stepping into her boss's office.

James Ironwood actually _was_ behind his desk. Unlike two other individuals that _should_ be. (Moon and Ozpin sneezed at the same time.) He sighed. "Specialist Schnee, how well do you keep up with the news?"

Winter blinked. "Not well, sir. My job as an Atlesian Specialist doesn't give me much downtime to do unimportant tasks like following the news."

Ironwood handed Winter a scroll. "If you need some time off, just tell me."

"Yes, sir?"

"I do not pretend to understand what it's like to have your family usurped in a day, but I wish you the best of luck," said Ironwood.

By now, Winter was completely weirded out. "Er, alright sir?"

"Why don't you sit down in your room before opening the scroll?" Ironwood suggested.

"I'll do that, sir."

* * *

Winter slowly closed her borrowed scroll and put it on a table.

"WHAT?!" she than proceeded to scream. She stamped around her bed in circles. _I need to talk to Weiss. This is seriously urgent business._ Whitley? He was the farthest thing from her mind right now.

Winter stopped. _Looks like I_ will _be taking some time off._

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Alright, this was the most fun chapter I've written so far. It's a nice step down from the other day's 4,000 something word count...and I got to do 'Fear Turkey' redux! Shout out to Sinnerlust for that one. Couldn't fit it in last chp…**

 **Reaction to RWBY Vol 5, Chp 9: BURN CINDER FALL! (Figuratively...and literally). Raven...you just went up in my book. Illia, what were you doing? Waiting for Blake? Blake, why did you STOP?**

 **Beta-Reading goes to ten-year old lil bro, just like usual.**

* * *

 **Omake V (Non-Canon): Pass (How Vol 5, Chp 9 SHOULD'VE ended)**

Blake ran into the main hall. She looked up at where a certain chameleon faunus just happened to be sitting...doing absolutely nothing in an empty room. Blake ran across the room, ignoring Illia. She didn't have time for her! She had a mom to find.

"Hey! Where are you going?!" called out Illia. "We're _supposed_ to have an epic battle where I get to vent out my life story and stuff!"

"I don't have time for that crap! You've already been basically epically rejected, so stop bothering me!" Blake ran straight out of the room.

"W-what?" Illia was left in the dust.

* * *

 **Omake VI: Dinos on Remnant (JP and RWBY)**

 **Challenged By: Dev the snake faunus **

"What have you done this time?" asked Ren. Team JNPR watched as the 'dinosaurs' as Jaune had dubbed them completely wrecked Vale.

"A scientific breakthrough!" beamed Jaune. A three-horned dinosaur Jaune called 'triceratops' rammed into some soldiers, sending them catapulting through the streets.

* * *

Flashback

 _Wheeljack and Jaune had hit it off right away, so it was no wonder they had locked themselves in a lab on the Ark. Nobody, not even Optimus Prime himself, wanted to find out what was responsible for those explosions behind closed doors._

 _As a final parting gift, Wheeljack had given Jaune some amber._

" _From what I understand," Wheeljack said. "There is fossilized DNA inside these crystallized tree saps. Maybe you can unlock the potential of these old creatures yourself."_

 _Jaune took the amber from Wheeljack's massive hand. "Sounds like a challenge. Will do."_

* * *

Jaune frowned. "Didn't think they would get so out of control though." A 'T-Rex' chomped down on a car and used it like a dog would a bone.

"Life finds a way!" exclaimed Nora.

"I suppose you are right," said Penny. She dodged the T-Rex's car.

"Shouldn't we be… helping defend Vale?" asked Ren. "We _are_ huntsmen and huntresses."

Penny tilted her head. "Well, technically Jaune and I are part-time huntsmen and huntresses."

"You know what I mean." A brachiosaurus slammed into a store. A random shopkeeper ran out, hands on his head.

"Er, Jaune?" asked Ren. He looked at Jaune as the man checked all his lab coat pockets.

"Aha!" Jaune pulled out a red button. "Here's the kill switch!"

"You created a kill switch?" wondered Penny.

"What do you take me for? Of course I made a kill switch!"

"Oh! Can I press it?" asked Nora.

Ren dragged his hands through his hair, reminding himself that pulling it out wasn't all that great of an idea. "Are you tell me we've been standing here for the past three hours when all you could've done was PRESS THE BUTTON?" Oum, he didn't know how he was still sane...or maybe he wasn't anymore.

Nora pressed the button. All the dinosaurs dropped to the ground in synchrony, becoming motionless. Penny walked over and poked at a 'velociraptor'.

"They are most definitely dead," she said.

"No. I can't see that," deadpanned Ren.

"Look what I found!" exclaimed Nora, holding up a gallimimus baby a few feet away.

Jaune put a hand to his chin. "Interesting… they managed to reproduce." That was the only explanation. He had made sure every dinosaur he made was tagged with an insta-poison function.

"Can we keep it? I wanna keep it."

"...sure," said Ren. Why not? He had nothing to lose.

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Dev the snake faunus: Dev...they probably have a dust for everything. Couldn't fit Shadowclaw into the omake, omakes are supposed to be short and quick. But hey, I tried to make a successful JP and RWBY cross! Not a lot of people can say that! ...poor Ren is going insane because of your challenges though.**

 **Anonymous: That would be pretty funny...then they'd get crushed by Moon.**

 **Yuhitsu: That was hilarious to write too!**

 **merendinoemilliano: ...you'll see.**

 **Hellwyrm: That's what I wanna hear!**

 **Mew Shadowfang: Welp. I explained why Fall would be rejected as a nickname. Now Future Team R_B_ aren't broke, though their teaching credentials should** _ **probably**_ **be up in the air. My posting schedule is at** _ **least**_ **once a week for both stories, but usually there's more...so yeah.  
**

* * *

 **Criticism and Suggestions welcomed with open arms!**

 **...and take your time to review, favorite, and follow!**


	11. Awkward

**Chp XI: Awkward**

 **Disclaimer: I have never been in possession of RWBY or Rooster Teeth...so HA!**

 **"Consequences? Pfft. I'm too old for that stuff." ~ ARK**

* * *

"Er. What are you two women doing?"

Belladonna quickly covered Red...by taking a book from the shelf and flipping it open. "Ahem. We're reading of course."

Red laughed. "Yep. What else would we be doing? Planting cameras?" She was evidently planting cameras behind Belladonna.

Tukson of Tukson's Bookstore raised his eyebrows. "Okay? Just, please, buy the book before you read it."

Belladonna forced a chuckle. "We're just looking through it a little."

Red finished adjusting the camera.

"That's the point. It's erotica."

Belladonna turned red. "Right."

Red started laughing, genuinely this time. "T-that's perfect for you!"

"Come on, we're done."

The cat-faunus looked to the side. "...yeah, just give me a second."

* * *

"See?" said Red. She and Belladonna strolled down the streets of Vale next to the Port. Red had Belladonna's scroll in her hands. "Plan a total success, now those cameras record every second of Tukson's Bookshop and the areas around it."

"...and Mercury and Emerald will be caught red-handed," finished Belladonna. "I still don't like the fact we won't be able to stop Tukson's murder."

"Ha. Girlfriend to the rescue," said Red. "I had Moon give us the latest face detection tech and using our own databases, I matched the cameras to E and M's face. Your scroll will ring like crazy when the time comes for an epic rescue."

Belladonna raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't that mean Moon came to the rescue?"

"S-shut up! It's not my fault I'm not rich!"

"Heh." Belladonna stopped and turned to Red. "That's fine, I don't really care."

They kissed. Of course, that had to be the moment Team RWBY happened across them.

This can be summed up with one word, _awkward._

"...awkward," said Yang. Thank you, Yang.

Ruby had turned bright red. "U-uh?"

"...I think we just intruded on a private moment," noted Weiss.

Blake tried to form words, to no avail. She was pretty sure steam was coming off of her body.

It's not everyday one happens upon their alternate future self kissing their alternate future team leader who they never considered themself interested in, afterall.

Belladonna and Red pulled away.

"Oops?" tried Red. She looked at the ensemble of shocked teenagers.

Belladonna face-palmed. "Well, it was bound to happen sometime."

"Uh-uh-umm, I know, I'll just go the way! Bye!" Ruby quickly left in a flutter of roses.

"Hooootttt," said a monkey-faunus hanging upside down and eating a banana.

"Shut up, Sun," muttered Belladonna automatically. She paused. "Sun?!"

Sun fell down. "Woah! Lady, do I know you!?"

"...sure, let's go with that." Belladonna was never going to get used to seeing dead people. She felt unease and guilt at the pit of her stomached but quickly pushed it away. She had already learned that dwelling on the past was never a good thing...the hard way too.

"Can we go back to the fact that Red and Belladonna are together?" asked Yang. "'Cause that's sort of important!"

Red rolled her visible eye. "Well, you see, Yang. When two people like each other very _very_ much, they usually decide to get together and when-"

"I KNOW HOW DATING WORKS!" Yang shut up when she realized she had just yelled that out in the middle of a busy street. People stared.

Red poked Belladonna. "Hey, looks like you were right. Yang _does_ have past experience."

"I don't know how you would think otherwise, I mean clearly she already had some experience with the kissing thi-"

"S-shut up!"

Weiss looked at Yang. "...In hindsight, I should've guessed."

Blake was still not functioning correctly. Belladonna looked between her past self and Sun. She grabbed the both of them and pushed them in one direction. "You two

seem like you could get along! Go and drink some tea or something!"

She winked at Sun.

Thankfully, Sun was a smart monkey to know when he was getting a chance with someone. "Y-yeah! Tea sounds great!" He put a hand on Blake's back to guide her somewhere.

"Huh?" managed Blake.

Red gave Belladonna a deadpan look. "Are you seriously shipping yourself with someone? That is wrong on so many levels."

"Technically not me," excused Belladonna. "Besides, he deserved a chance."

"Mm. He totally had the hots for you." Red paused. "And fifteen year old me would _not_ get together with you. That's a recipe for disaster." She could list off ten reasons from the top of her head how that would not end well.

"What does shipping have to do with relationships?" asked Weiss.

Red and Belladonna looked at each other. Oh how times have changed. Or will change. Or did change in another universe. This is confusing, alright?

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _Weiss paced around the room. She had called an emergency meeting for Team RWBY. The other members watched her as they sat on the Schnee Manor's overly expensive giant couch._

 _She stopped in the center of the room when Yang's hand, Sari, reconnected with Yang with a bag of chips._

" _Ladies. We must initiate a plan."_

" _A plan...for what?" asked Blake._

" _Plan Renora was a success."_

 _Ruby, Blake, and Yang shivered. That had taken them a whole year, 77 'accidental' collisions, 31 flawlessly executed maneuvers, and 19 nearly life-ending experiences. Suffice to say, they were not excited for Weiss's next big plan._

" _As such, we must move on to ArcANYONE!"_

" _Is that what I think it is?" asked Blake. "Because if so, that does not sound like a possible plan."_

 _Ruby and Yang blinked. They hadn't caught on yet._

 _Weiss's penguin pulled out a giant white board and gave Weiss a dry dreads marker. She scribbled out 'Objective: Get Jaune Arc to date (and possibly marry) someone!' Three exclamation marks at the end for good measure._

" _NO!" shouted Ruby and Yang._

" _It's impossible!" wailed Ruby._

 _Yang shook her chips. "Yeah! The guy's freak'n asexual!"_

" _...I have to agree with them on that one," said Blake. Romance (porn) novels were great, writing romance (porn) novels were great, as she had found out, getting real life people together, not so great._

 _Weiss snapped her marker on the board. "We won't know unless we try! I don't care what ship is a success! Just any ship!"_

" _...would you go with WhiteKnight?" asked Blake._

 _Weiss froze and turned to look at the cat-faunus. "...no."_

" _Hey! Weiss is already taken!" said Yang._

 _Weiss coughed. "Let me rephrase. I don't care what ship is a success! Unless they're not single!"_

" _...this will not end well," said Ruby. "...or ever."_

" _I'll prove you all wrong!" Weiss exclaimed._

" _You're real gung-ho about this. Have too much free time?" asked Ruby._

" _Hmph. It's not my fault I'm efficient."_

 _Ruby grinned. "What about a bet? If you can get Jaune together with anyone, I'll make you leader for an year."_

 _Weiss grinned back. "Deal."_

 _...Ruby lost leadership for an year. To this day, she's still angry about it._

* * *

"Should we tell her?" asked Red.

Belladonna gave her a look. "Do you really want to bring out that monster?"

"...no."

"What does shipping have to do with relationships?! This makes no sense!" Weiss threw her hands in the air in exasperation.

"And you wonder why Moon calls you naive," said Red .

"She did?!"

Red whistled inconspicuously.

"That. That. That! THAT IMBECILE!" Weiss marched off to make an immediate call.

"But she's yourself!" called Yang. "...or at least a version of yourself!"

"I refuse to acknowledge that!"

Yang looked back at Red and Belladonna, then at Weiss, then where Blake and Sun had gone off to, then where Ruby had ran off. "Guess I need to have a talk with my little sis on relationships! Tata, have fun!" She sprinted into the alleyway.

"...that cannot end well," said Belladonna matter-of-factly.

Red scanned Belladonna. "You alright?"

"Hm?"

She shifted. "Y'know, with Sun and everything."

Belladonna gazed at the ocean. "I already told you I was over him...or else I wouldn't have gotten together with you."

"Doesn't mean it still won't hurt."

Belladonna gave a weak smile. "Come on. We have a dock incident in two days to prepare for."

"...right." Red gave Belladonna a meaningful look. "If you need anything, I'll be there, 'kay?"

"Heh, you always are."

* * *

"Yo, sis."

Ruby jumped. Penny saluted. "Salutations! I remember you, blonde girl!"

"Oh...hi Penny." Yang looked around. "Mind telling me why you're at a dead end?"

Indeed, there was a brick wall behind Ruby.

Ruby scratched the back of her head. "Well. Y'know how I don't have the best control on my Semblance? Kinda just ended up here."

"Oh yes!" Penny nodded vigorously. "She crashed into me as well!"

The girl frowned. "Though she would not tell me why and what she ran from."

Yang looked at her adorable little sister...who she hoped will never end up like the sadist that is Red. "Let's sit down and talk on relationships."

* * *

Go Teacher Yang!

Once they had all sat down on pillows that Penny had got from them out of nowhere, Yang coughed. "Now, where to start?"

Ruby poked her fingers together. "Uh...Red and Belladonna?"

"Yes! Alright!" Yang nodded to herself. She had some experience in this department. "See, they're in a romantic relationship…"

"But I thought that romance thing was a boy and girl thing!"

"Well some girls like girls and some guys like guys."

Ruby tilted her head. "How would that work? I thought kid-making was a-"

"Romance does not equal kid!"

"...huh? But then…"

Penny raised a finger. "Well you see-" She was quickly muffled by Yang's hands.

"Let's not go there!"

"I am so confused." Ruby's eyes suddenly lit up like she had a great idea. "Oh hey! Yang! I bet you have some experience with this right?"

"A...huh?"

"So you just have to tell me what you did!"

"NO!"

Ruby blinked. "Eh? Why not?"

Yang suddenly felt the urge to pull out her hair. "Alright, this is going nowhere! Just ask Red or something!" Yang's patience was gradually thinning. Sex-Ed? That was nice and simple. Relationships? Apparently not.

"Well, I guess I _do_ know best." Ruby looked at Yang. "Hey, if Red and Belladonna are together together, then what about Moon and Dragon?"

"Well _obviously_ me and Snow Queen aren't getting together _anytime, ever._ So I dunno, maybe they're single. I don't really know anyone who would date Weiss of all people. And I have v _ery_ high expectations." * _cough_ * not really… * _cough*._

(Ordering people around, Dragon suddenly sneezed. Mertle did not look pleased to have snot all over him.)

"I guess." Ruby was suddenly skipping out of the alleyway. "Time to go meet my future self!...after I buy myself some cookies."

"Future self?" asked Penny as Yang's hand finally left her face.

"Not important!" Yang said quickly. She followed after her sister. "Bye, I guess!"

* * *

" _You called me naive?!"_ yelled Weiss over the scroll.

Moon watched as Klein ordered Jacques around. She had promoted the former butler into a seat on the SDC council. Klein certainly looked like he was enjoying making Jacques sort out the massive Schnee library.

"Yes? Who told you?"

" _Red!"_

Moon sighed. "Red and Dragon, secrets are not their thing. That's why only Belladonna is eligible for spywork on the team." She smiled though, it was cute when Dragon messed up.

" _Wait. You aren't?"_

"Well, the Glyph Semblance _is_ flashy...and I never really like the stealthy approach anyway." It was always about making the impression.

" _Back on topic! Naive-ness!"_

"What were you even talking about to get onto that topic?" Moon really was interested.

" _They said something about shipping in relationships...you can't ship a relationship!"_

Moon leaned forward in her chair and chuckled slowly. "Oh yes. Yes, you can. You have no idea how wrong you are, little me."

* * *

Red looked down at her own scroll for once. Nighttime had fallen and the crickets were chirping outside the window. "So this is the plan? Stake-out?"

Belladonna handed Red a coffee and sat down next to her on the bed. "Any better ideas?"

"...well no. And I guess we can beat Torchwick and Neo easily. " Red frowned. "Unless maybe if Neo decides to go all out."

"I doubt it." Belladonna leaned in closer to take a better look at the scroll. Pictures of Roman and Neo as well as their stats lay apparent. "You know how she is."

"Hm." Red grinned and held up her sugar-cubed filled coffee. "To a better universe?"

Belladonna clanged her cup together with Red's. "To a better universe."

"RED!" exclaimed Ruby, slamming open the door with two hands. Red nearly spilled her coffee in surprise. Belladonna didn't even flinch. "Yang told me to ask you about relationships! Oh and I wanna know if Dragon or Moon are in relationships too!"

She paused. "Did I interrupt something?"

Red stared. "Was I _really_ like this?"

Belladonna sighed. "Yeah. Always ripping the mood to shreds."

* * *

 **Author's Notes: My brother literally said this was the worst chapter...but hey! I liked it! And that means I'm gonna upload it anyway! Well, what d'ya guys think? Too much fluff and Ladybug? Too serious for a humour fic? What I** _ **did**_ **think I did pretty bad on was the Omakes though…**

 **Beta-Reading is to ten-year old bro...**

* * *

 **Omake VII: Qrow, You are a Horrible Father (Completely Non-Fanfic Canon)**

 **Requested by: merendinoemilliano**

Qrow had just been interrupted in his fight with Winter. He was not in a good mood as Glynda glared at him and Ozpin gave him a disappointed look. Oh how he would love to have some alcohol, like now. His fingers twitched.

What he didn't expect was a woman that looked almost exactly like Summer to suddenly be kicking him in the guts, sending him crashing into a pillar.

"W-what? Summer?"

"NOT THAT AGAIN!" yelled the woman. "FOR THE LAST TIME, WRONG ROSE PEOPLE!"

Ironwood looked ready to spasm. "...this is now not my responsibility." He looked at Glynda and Ozpin. "Aren't you going to stop that insane woman?"

"'That insane woman' you speak of is the Combat Instructor of Beacon," said Ozpin calmly and matter-of-factly.

Glynda pushed up her glasses and smirked. "This will be exciting."

Winter stared at her incredulously. "You were just angry at me for fighting on school grounds!"

"Well, yes. But unlike _your_ fight, this one won't spark an international crisis."

The 'insane lady' pointed a finger towards Qrow. "And...You. Are. A. Horrible. Father!" She declared.

 _Say what?_

Ruby blinked. "Huh?"

In a flutter of roses, the woman was next to Qrow. She extended her friggin giant ass scythe that's two times her own size and grinned. "I have been waiting for this day ever since I came here."

Qrow was walloped into the sky, giant scythe style.

"...should we stop her?" asked Belladonna.

"Well...I did already have my turn with Raven…"

"I'm surprised that the only one of us with decent parents is the one with the highly traumatic, terrorist past," said Moon.

Blake's cat ears twitched.

Red jumped into the air and slammed Crescent Rose into Qrow's stomach. The Branwen made a crater into the ground as he slammed into the ground. Red landed gracefully.

"Oh yes...all those years without telling me a _single_ thing about who my father really was and what mom was like. Drinking _all_ the goddamn time. And keeping me in the dark on basically _everything_!"

Red transformed Crescent Rose into rocket launcher mode. "This will be fun."

 _Crap!_ "...Ruby?"

"Took you long enough to figure that out."

* * *

 **Omake VIII: I Swear it was an Accident!**

 **Requested By: Dev the snake faunus (sort of)**

As per usual now, something went wrong with one of Jaune's project. Namely, it sent Team JNPR and Team CFVY scattered across worlds.

 _With Jaune_

Jaune was walking through the Hall of Armor, admiring all the awesome suits Tony had. He paused and stared at the giant fat one that looked like it could fit in one of the normal sized one.

"Uhhhh...what's this one for? Fighting cybertronians?"

Tony glanced at him. "What's a cybertronian? Nah, that was to fight one of my best friends when he went nuts." The billionaire went back to toying with Jaune's inventions.

"Huh." Jaune thought back to all of the insane friends he had. "Why didn't I ever think of that?"

 _With Nora and Ren_

"WE NEED TO GET JAUNE TO MAKE THIS THING BACK AT HOME!" exclaimed Nora. SHe rode a TOG II...without bothering to actually put herself completely in the tank. "DIE!" She shot randomly at an incoming IS-5. Somehow, the missile didn't miss and the other tank blew up.

Ren put his face in his hands while sitting in a Panzer II J. "Oh Oum...now she'll want one for our anniversary."

Golly the Gallimimus laughed at Ren.

"SOMEONE GET THIS CRAZY LADY OFF THE MAP!" yelled an enemy tank.

 _With Penny_

"Ultron is a bad artificial intelligence." WIth that statement, Penny revealed 10 blades that rotated in a circle behind her.

Ultron laughed. "What are you going to do with those puny ancient weapons?"

Penny extended her hands in Ultron's direction. Each blades turned into ten blades and stabbed into Ultron's primary body.

"...oh, I see." Ultron's face got demolished. "NOOOO!"

Thor got his hammer back from the Vision. "That wasn't fair!" he whined. "I didn't get my chance!"

Vision looked at him. "Maybe someday."

A choke went up Thor's throat. "And did he just insult Miljnor too?" He hugged his hammer. "You're the best, y'know."

Penny examined the thunder god.. "So that's why your girlfriend broke up with you!"

"Guys!" exclaimed Iron Man. "We still have a city to save!"

 _With Coco_

Coco pulled down her sunglasses. "Oh… I like your skin tight costume, very sexy."

Natalia Romanova, aka Black Widow looked _very_ uncomfortable. "Uh...that wasn't the point."

In the corner, Squirrel Girl laughed.

 _With Fox_

Fox turned his head to Daredevil, then Toph.

"...so we're all badass blind people?" he asked.

"Guess so," said Daredevil.

"To the blind!" exclaimed Toph. "...now where are we?"

They were in fact, floating in a blank white room.

""We're blind.""

 _With Velvet_

Velvet walked down a random road with one Deadpool

Deadpool wouldn't stop talking. "So in Vol. 3, everyone was like 'Woah! Bunny girl can kick ass!' and then you were suddenly on everyone's favorites list...just because you have a similar power to Emiya Shirou, the hero-addict!"

"...huh?"

Deadpool waved at himself. "...but if Monty Oum (god bless him, the author adds) deformed you and gave you regenerative powers I bet you wouldn't be nearly as popular! No fair!"

"Huh?"

"Oh and watch my movie! So much cooler than Fate/Stay Night and pussy Emiya who somehow gets all the girls." Deadpool winked. "I got a hot girl too, and I'm a keeper."

Velvet inched away. "Right...I'll just go this way now…"

"Hey! This section was way too short! Don't leave me, bunny girl!" Deadpool looked back. "No! I don't care that this was one of the longer sections!"

 _With Yatsuhashi_

"What are we? The giant swords group?" asked Ichigo Kurosaki. He shouldered Zangetsu.

Yatsuhashi nodded slowly. "...I guess."

Arturia Pendragon looked down at Excalibur. "...I don't think Excalibur counts."

Cloud shrugged. "Eh. You're short."

The King of Britain twitched.

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Yuhitsu: Yup!**

 **Dev the snake faunus: ...or both! But I think I did pretty bad on that one… not to mention I added in some other universes, eh…**

 **merendinoemilliano: hm… personally I never believed in the Qrow is Ruby's father theory but *shrug* it was fun to write! And that is a real interesting Salem theory, never thought of her as ever being human at one point.**

 **snoogenz: XD so true. Doesn't mean the Belladonnas will appreciate it though.**

 **Anonymous: I have...but I'm too young to have ever played FF VII so I don't know a lot...and that remake looks like it's coming out around NEVER!**

 **Treefrogger: Thanks for telling me! And Salem doesn't know that future RWBY is here...and she probably wouldn't move just because someone sent a million threat letters to her...so yep, wait until at least next chp. =)**

 **Firestat001: Sadly I'm too inexperienced with the Fallout universe to do an Omake for that. You're free to write and post one if you want though.**

* * *

 **As always plz post Criticism and Suggestions!**

 **It's Almost Christmas! Review, Favorite, and Follow!**


	12. Rounding Up the Players

**Chp XII: Rounding Up the Players**

 **Disclaimer: Heh. Nah. I'm not cool enough to own RT or RWBY.**

 **"*sigh* That overly dramatic person that you hang out with for some reason..." ~ ARK**

* * *

Blake fell onto her bed with a thump. She may or may not just had one of the best days ever with a certain monkey-faunus, not that she would admit it to anyone. But she was tired, socializing took a lot out of a loner.

"Had a nice date?" asked Yang from below.

Blake blushed. "I-it wasn't a date."

Yang tsked. "Your future self thinks otherwise."

"My future self is dating Ruby of all people." Blake had decided her future-self wasn't a good point of reference. Even _if_ Red was very different from the Ruby she knew.

"Hey it's a good pair, I think. Red's a sadist, Belladonna's...also a sadist."

"You just can't handle her _very_ informative lessons."

Yang grabbed her textbook and pulled out a fistful of homework and then some. "This isn't normal! This is like literally a home load of work!"

Blake's eyebrows raised. "...you never realized that she only ever handed _you_ that much work?

Yang looked at her papers then back at Blake. Her eyes turned red. "WHAT?!"

"...I'm sure she also knew you wouldn't check the board to see if it was actually assigned or not."

"WHAT?!"

"Oh by the way, Weiss what are you doing?"

The heiress had stuffed her face into her pillow. "Where did I go wrong?" she moaned. She proceeded to do what looked like screaming.

"Huh."

"I'LL PUNCH THAT FAUNUS TO THE OTHER SIDE OF REMNANT!" declared Yang.

"That's...great," said Blake, slowly inching towards the window. Yang might decide to connect Blake to Belladonna and if she does, Blake did not want to be in the vicinity anytime soon.

The dorm door flew open as Ruby entered in a cloud of rose petals. She grinned and made a pose.

"Guys! Guess what?"

Yang instantly calmed down at the sight of her little sister. "What?"

"Moon and Dragon are together together!"

* * *

Ozpin, who had already been exchanging money with Glynda, deflated. No it wasn't weird he had cameras in every single dorm room! He swears! Though for some reason Team RWBY's dorm only had voice recordings now...

Glynda smiled and made a hand motion. "I believe that is one hundred lien now."

"Nooo!" Ozpin wailed. "I was so sure WhiteRose and Bumblebee would happen! Bumblebee even had the perfect cute song and everything!"

* * *

"""...""" It took some time for Ruby's statement to settle in. When it did, the effects were immediate.

Blake tilted her head. "...didn't expect that." Somehow that had seemed less likely then Blake and Ruby getting together...and right now, that was _very_ unlikely.

Yang had been reduced to a twitching mess, unusually reminiscent of her mother.

Weiss fainted on the spot.

Ruby frowned and lifted Weiss from the pillow. She shook the heir. "Weiss? Weiss? Did I say something wrong?"

Blake sighed. "Ruby. How did you feel when you found out about Red and Belladonna this morning?"

"Completed weirded out!" Ruby paused. "Oh...but Belladonna said something about us technically being the different same person."

She shook Weiss again. "See? So it's not that weird if you think about it!"

Yang fell with a thud, black fumes rising out of her. Blake jumped down to haul her shocked teammate into bed.

* * *

Moon paused as her scroll rang. She looked at Willow and set down her coconut juice. "Wait one sec."

Willow nodded.

"Hello?" Moon waited for the inevitable.

" _YOU AND DRAGON ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP?!"_ That was Weiss.

Moon winced and pulled the scroll away from her ear. _Red wasn't the only one with a set of lungs._ Willow stared at her and the scroll. After the screaming stopped, Moon brought the scroll back to her ear.

"...did my teammates tell you on accident or on purpose?"

" _I don't know! Ruby was the one to receive the information!"_

There was shuffling as Ruby got on Weiss's scroll. "... _well...Red and Belladonna were smiling the whole time? I think Belladonna was laughing too."_

"On purpose then," decided Moon. Knowing Belladonna, she probably went and record mini-RWBY's reactions too. Stupid ninja skills.

" _Well? Is it true?"_

"Yes," Moon said. "Dragon and I have been officially dating...since a long time."

" _I disapprove!"_ yelled Yang from the background. " _Fire and ice do not go together!"_

Moon examined her fingernails. "A Song of Ice and Fire."

" _Ugh!"_ Fatal blow to Yang. " _A Xiao-Long isn't supposed to go back on her word!"_

" _I agree with Yang,"_ said Weiss quickly. " _That does not sound...workable."_

"We don't have any issues, in fact, we make a very good team."

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _Yang was flipping through channels, bored. "Damn it...can't Game of Throne seasons come out quicker?"_

" _It takes time and effort to make a show," answered Weiss distractedly. She scribbled down notes on her pad. Plan ArkANYONE wasn't going anywhere anytime soon if she didn't have an actual plan, after all._

 _Yang threw the remote control into the wall. It got stuck._

 _Weiss looked up and sighed. "More repairs, joy." She summoned her knight and made it get some supplies._

 _Yang pulled out her scroll. "Say...why don't we crash a party? It'll give us_ something _to do."_

" _What party?"_

" _Well…" Yang held up her scroll for Weiss to see. "Blake does have a REALLY long shit-list."_

 _Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it like, 10-pages long?"_

" _Trust me, the woman's hiding her claws...y'know, because she's a cat?."_

" _...it was actually decent until you brought up the last part."_

* * *

 _A bar exploded behind Yang and Weiss. The two strolled away nonchalantly. The two even had sunglasses on to complete the look...even if it was very foggy._

" _Number_ _#71: 'That piece of shit who sells faunus poisoned drink' checked," said Weiss. "Freezerburn style."_

 _Yang grinned. "Oh yeah, we're getting Blakey an early Winter Solstice gift!"_

* * *

"...I'm sure we're better than Red and Belladonna." Not to mention that Moon and Dragon lived in a manor all by themselves. If that wasn't badass and superior, Moon didn't know what was.

" _I have no feelings for Yang!"_ denied Weiss.

" _And I have none for Ice Queen!"_ exclaimed Yang.

"Who said anything about you? It's me and Dragon's relationship."

" _Oh! Oh!_ " went Ruby. " _Red said that if we talked to you, we should ask you if the 'birdcage' is ready or not. Don't know what that is though!"_

Moon laughed. Really, her teammates knew her too well. To be able to predict that Weiss would call her? Smart. "Tell her yes, I have it ready."

* * *

 _Why did we bring her?_ signed Red. They were doing what would look like an innocent stroll around the port.

 _Because she needs to see it to accept it,_ signed back Belladonna. _Would you want to deal with in-denial me?_

Red glanced back at Blake, who was following behind them. The younger cat-faunus's brows were furrowed as she watched the two women.

 _...already had to deal with that. That wasn't fun. But obsessed Blake is worst!_

 _That was ages ago!_

 _That will be a few days from now!_

 _...we'll figure something out. We_ could _always get Yang to share that sad little story of hers._

 _Said story was scary when it was happening! Now it's just embarrassing…_

Red and Belladonna stopped as a Bullhead flew pass them. Then they sprinted to follow it.

Red paused when she realized they had left Blake in the dust. She dashed back and picked up the teen bridal style.

"H-hey!"

"Shut up. I know you've always wanted a prince to carry you this way."

Blake turned bright red but didn't deny it.

They reached the warehouses, where the Bullhead was landing. Red dropped Blake unceremoniously.

"Ow!"

"Red?" asked Belladonna.

Red looked around. "Where's Dragon? Don't tell me she forgot or something!"

* * *

Dragon frowned. "I feel like I'm forgetting something…."

Raven looked at her. "Really. Maybe you should _remember_ then."

The blonde shrugged. "Eh. It'll cross my mind eventually."

* * *

Blake got off the floor and paled as White Fang troopers marched out the Bullhead. She turned even whiter as one Roman Torchwick walked out last.

"That isn't…" She looked up at her older, other-dimensional self.

Belladonna nodded. "White Fang. They're working with...less than savory people now. Well, technically _they've_ been less than savory for a while now."

Blake frowned. "But why?"

"Guys. Sorry to interrupt, but we still have a dust robbery to stop," said Red. She extended Crescent Rose and grinned. "Let's see if we can lure out Neo while we're at it." Red disappeared in a flutter of crimson roses.

"Mm." Belladonna sprinted after her.

Blake looked around. Seeing no other choice, she followed.

Red skidded to a stop, appearing in front of the White Fang.

"Hello!" She swung Crescent Rose, sending any White Fang soldier in the vicinity flying.

"Red?" said Torchwick. "I didn't know kids these days grow up that fast…" The man pointed his cane and fired.

Belladonna jumped in, blocking the shot with Gambel Shroud's sheathe.

When the smoke cleared, it revealed Crescent Rose readied in sniper form.

"I drink a lot of milk," said Red matter-of-factly.. She fired a round of pheonix dust. Roman found himself combusting and making a dent in the Bullhead.

" _Oww_ …"

Meanwhile, Blake was busy fighting the rest of the White Fang. "Why? What made you work with that scum?!"

The White Fang didn't seem to be interested in giving a random emo teen the answer, go figure.

Blake slashed at them, making clones as she moved.

Two more Bullheads reached the warehouses, White Fang members jumped out of them.

Red nodded at Belladonna. The faunus jumped and Crescent Rose met her in the air. Red swung the now sword, sending Belladonna flying. Belladonna created a series of clones, using the force to propel herself towards a Bullhead.

Belladonna threw Gambol Shroud. The weapon lodged itself into the Bullhead. Using this moment, Belladonna swung above the aircraft and started falling. She readied her sheathe, inserting fire dust into it. The burning blade cut off the Bullhead's wing cleanly. ...she didn't have a sharp sheathe for nothing.

Belladonna hurled Gambol Shroud into the next Bullhead, pulling herself towards it. Using the still hot sheathe, she slashed through the cockpit. The two Bullheads made slow whining sounds as they started falling.

Using ice dust, Belladonna made enough clones for her to slide down to the ground. The Bullheads crashed into the ocean behind her.

"Now _that's_ how you make an impression."

Red transformed Crescent Rose into claymore form. She slashed Melodic Cudgel in half. "Ha. There goes your stick cane!"

Roman staggered back. "Damn!" He started running away. Only to see Red standing in front of him. "Uh…"

"Can't run from me." Red spun and kicked Roman into a cargo shipment.

Torchwick shakily pulled out his scroll and pressed the emergency button.

"Finally," said Red. She cracked her neck. "I was worried I'd have to beat you up more."

Torchwick blinked. "Huh?"

A smaller airship appeared out of the sky. The hatch opened and a petite girl dropped out. The pink and brown haired woman landed in front of Torchwick and unfolded her umbrella.

"Hello Neo!"

* * *

"That's right!" Dragon slammed a fist into her hand, startling Raven and Vernal. "I have a robbery to stop and two people to apprehend!"

Vernal stared. "...how do you forget something like that?"

Raven had walked off into a corner and began muttering to herself. "Oum damnit, Taiyang did _not_ raise her right...I should've known it was too hard of a task for him." Of course she didn't blame herself for never being there _or_ trying out parenting. No, that would be stupid.

"Raven! Make a portal to younger me!"

The former leader of the tribe sighed. She complied anyway.

"Oh and you're in charge!"

The raven-haired woman twitched. Vernal gave Raven a hesitant thumbs up and a weak smile.

* * *

Yang and Weiss still had not gotten over their older-other dimensional selves' reveals. In fact, they had been either avoiding or shouting at each other...or somehow both.

Ruby's head followed the argument like it was an insane ping-pong match. The comical effect was helped by the fact that Yang and Weiss were in opposite corners of the room.

"I don't know what Moon saw in you!" Weiss shouted. She folded her arms. "Evidently she has some screws loose. "

"There's a lot in me for your information!"

"Like…?"

"I'm hot! Literally and figuratively!"

"That has nothing to do with anything! You don't start a relationship because you find someone attractive!"

"So you admit I'm 'attractive'!"

Weiss blushed. "I-I said no such thing!"

"...uhh guys?" Ruby finally said, trying to defuse the situation.

A portal suddenly appeared next to Yang. Out stepped Dragon...it was probably one of the worst times for her to step into the room.

Yang, who was still high on arguing, threw her fist at Dragon. Dragon grabbed it. "That's not a very nice welcome."

"What the hell?! That is not normal hand strength!" Yang tried to pull her hand back to no avail.

"Where's Red and Belladonna?" asked Dragon, ignoring her younger self.

"They left to go somewhere with Blake," said Ruby.

"Already?! Crap! Belladonna's gonna kill me!" Dragon had already gotten on the infamous shit-less a few times...and it wasn't fun getting off it. She now had a permanent fear of balloons. Oum, how does a person find so many ways to make balloons scary? Bomb balloons, spike balloons, fake super colorful sticky balloons...

Yang's eyes had turned red. She grabbed Dragon's hand and pulled with everything she had.

 _Pop!_ Dragon's arm came off. Yang stared at the arm that was now in her hand. "Huh?"

"OH MY GOD!" exclaimed Ruby, pointing.

Weiss's eyes turned into saucers.

Now for a little known fact. Dragon had gotten tired of having to unlatch. like. fifty connection points every single time she wanted to take her arm off so she had let Red tamper with it...a lot. It ended up that with enough force, anyone could pull her arm off. Now this was great. #1: If she wanted to take it off, which was now super easy. #2: It made way for rocket mode and Sari. #3: PUNS! #4; Situations like these where Dragon got to scare the shit out of people.

Dragon took the arm from Yang. "Thank you for _handing_ it to me."

She reattached her limb. "Now I need to go! Toodles!"

She jumped out the window. **(Author bangs head on desk. "DAMN IT! NOT AGAIN!")**

"Wh-what?" Yang said.

"I believe you're an amputee," noted Weiss, thinking about it logically now that she was calmer. "There was no blood."

"Ooohhh," said Ruby. "That was a robot arm! Cool!" She turned to her sister. "You should get one too!"

Yang suddenly felt very worried for _both_ her arms.

* * *

Neo looked at Red...silently of course. She furrowed her brows.

"Aha! You're thinking 'how does this lady know my name?' right?" said Red. She chuckled. "I've been working on reading you."

That was in fact what Neo was thinking. She frowned.

"Ha! Now you're thinking 'that's a little creepy!'" Red paused. "It isn't!"

Neo tilted her head.

"What? No!"

Stare.

"...so sassy."

Glare.

"Alright, alright! Geez."

"Ahem," coughed Roman, still stuck in the cargo. "Lovely you girls are getting along but you _are_ kind of on seperate sides!" He looked at Neo. "And you're supposed to be getting my revenge for me!"

Neo nodded affirmative and smiled at Red. She ran at the red-caped woman.

Red glared at Roman. "Killjoy." She casually block Neo's killer umbrella with scythe mode Crescent Rose ...again, and again.

Neo flipped back. She unsheathed her estoc and jumped. Only to be kicked on the side by an incoming Belladonna. She tumbled to the ground.

"Alright, you were totally right," admitted Red. "We had nothing to worry about."

"I'm right a lot of times," said Belladonna, taking a stance next to Red.

Neo's allusion shattered. She appeared in front of the two women and slashed at their feet. Red jumped back. Belladonna made a fire clone. It exploded, sending Neo into the air. The tiny woman floated back down on her umbrella. She rapidly striked again.

Red brought down claymore Crescent Rose. Neo just barely dodged. She still hadn't made a sound though.

"Man, remember that time where you made her do literal 'sign language'?" asked Red. "That was hilarious." She transformed Crescent Rose into rocket launcher form and loaded dust into it in one smooth motion.

Belladonna snorted. "I almost wish I hadn't. Dragon congratulated me the whole week. Apparently it counted as a pun."

Neo wasn't sure what they were talking about and she didn't care at the moment. She jumped off the ground, pointing her estoc at her targets.

Red aimed Crescent Rose at the girl. "Light's out!"

Neo's eyes widened. She quickly made allusions and jumped out of the way just as the bullet exploded. She was thrown on her back as the impact rippled outwards.

"Show off," said Blake.

Red grinned. "Welp. That's two maidens down. Three if you count Dragon."

Belladonna face-palmed. "...and this is why you're never hired for spywork."

Neo's eyes widened. She started wheezing.

"...crap," said Red. She had forgotten how volatile Neo could be at the time.

Cloud began to obscure the sky. The wind picked up, blowing through the warehouse base.

Blake elbowed a White Fang soldier and looked up. The remaining White Fang came to a slow stop.

Suddenly an eagle appeared. It transformed into Dragon, who landed with a ' _thump'._ She quickly hit Neo in the head. She was knocked out. Dragon waved her hand and the night returned to normal.

Dragon grinned. "Saviour of the day! Eh?"

Belladonna's ears twitched. She glared. "Where. Were. You?"

"Ahahah…" Dragon laughed nervously. She quickly looked around. "Hey! What are we doing with Mr. Hat?"

"What's with that nickname…?" muttered Torchwick, head down in defeat. Well...he _did_ really like his hat.

Red went and pulled Torchwick out of the cargo. "Moon bought a prison."

Dragon tilted her head. "Really? I have to ask how she did that."

"It was a pain in the buttocks," said Moon, appearing out of nowhere. She jumped off of her Nevermore summon. "I may or may not have resorted to blackmail."

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _Moon leaned back in her newly acquired office chair and pinched her nose. "Look Ironwood, it's simple. I. Just. Want. A. Prison."_

 _Ironhood stared at her incredulously. "That's not how it works. You can't just_ buy _a prison."_

 _The Schnee President summoned her penguin. "How much do you want? A million? Two million? Twenty million?"_

" _...do you just throw money around?"_

" _It's not like I need it." That was true. When you already had a giant mansion, summons that could do your work for you, and a girlfriend who owned a whole tribe and all of its possessions. Not to mention you had destroyed the biggest, baddest, Grimm of all time and spent nearly four years traveling, money really wasn't a factor anymore._

" _Still no." The general went to the door…_

" _I won't tell anyone you have an obsession with 'Ninjas of Love' and roleplay...and 'Ninjas of Love' roleplay."_

 _Ironwood slowly turned back, his face blank._

* * *

Red grinned. "All right! Team Future RWBY is back together!"

"...well, we can't exactly call ourselves Team RWBY anymore," pointed out Blake.

"Whatever." What? She did like the fact that the Team was basically named after _her_.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Aw geez. This took way too long to write... But yay! Vol 1 is almost a wrapping! Just one chp to go I think! Whadya think about Neo being a maiden? Found this theory online and I really like Neo (she's kickass) so I was like, sure! Why not? And we're on the tenth Omake!**

* * *

 **Omake IX: Dinosaur Hangout!**

 **Requested By: Shadowclaw, Dev the snake faunus's pet Indominus**

Ren didn't know what most people expect to find when they return from a hard day of killing grimm in a forest in the middle of nowhere, but he was pretty sure a destroyed house wasn't one of them. He was also pretty sure a giant menacing looking black and red dinosaur was not on that list either. He was also _very_ sure a significant other riding said menacing looking black and red dinosaur was not on the list.

"Heelllooooo Reeennnn!" greeted Nora. "Jjjuuusttt haaavvvinggg funnnn!"

Golly the Gallimimus wheaved around the giant dinosaur's legs, barking happily. He went up to Ren and handed him a letter. Ren opened it.

* * *

 _Hi!_

 _This dinosaur is named Shadowclaw. He's an Indominus Rex. He's cool. He's nice. He's visiting. Take care of him while I'm_ _wrecking/_ _visiting other worlds. Thanks!_

 _~Dev "Devastator" Schnee_

* * *

Ren looked up. Shadowclaw and Nora had mowed down a path of trees and were currently cannonballing into the lake.

"WHEE!"

"RAWRRRR!"

The resulting splash sent water splashing all the way to Ren and Golly the Gallimimus.

The dripping wet huntsman sighed miserably. "Can't I just get _one_ week off?"

"Woah! This guy has gills! SSOOO CCOOOOLL!"

"Rawrhahaha!"

* * *

 **Omake X: Eyeless (Kind of)**

 **Suggested by: Nightwing2013**

Red groggily rubbed her one eye. She had just fell asleep and...where was she? It looked like she was floating in a white room with some strange people...she had an itching feeling they all shared something similar..

"I demand to leave this place! Sebastian!" exclaimed a little boy...in comparison to Red anyway.

"Mah mah, calm down." That would be a spiky white-haired guy with most of his face covered. "You're reminding me of my own little munchkins." He went to pet the boy, only for his hand to be slapped away.

"Little munchkins? Whhaaattt." Green haired guy with hat.

"...I hate all of you already." This guy had all his face covered with a black and orange mask.

"What the heck?" said Red. "I haven't even spoken yet! Dude, you remind me of my partner way back in the old days."

A katana was suddenly rushing towards her. Red quickly blocked it with compact Crescent Rose.

"Don't call me _dude_." The masked guy retracted his katana. "..at least you have good instincts, I'll give you that."

The white-haired guy was looking between the two, examining them.

"Guys! ...and gal," said green-haired guy. "Introductions! That's a good place to start."

No one talked for a while. "Ahem," coughed greeny. "Fine. My name is Sven Vollfied."

"Ruby Rose."

"Hmph. Ciel Phantomhive."

Spiky white-haired guy eyesmiled. "Kakashi."

"Call me Deathstroke."

"So…" said Red, taking initiative. She _was_ a leader after all. "Why are we here?"

"Obviously someone wanted us here for something," said Deathstroke. He glowered. "I certainly would."

Ciel raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on the last part. "Which means we all have something in common."

They all looked at each other. ...all fighters? Ciel didn't seem like one. Personality? Hell no. ...eye color? Ha, no. Wait-

"Is it just me or do all of us hide one of our eyes?"

Silence. One-eyed blinking.

"...don't tell me you're _all_ in demon contracts." "No way! You can't _all_ be hiding Vision Eyes!" "...sharingan?"

More one-eyed blinking. More looking at each other.

"Uh, no," said Red. "I literally just don't have a left eye."

"...and I don't have a right one." Deathstroke said simply.

"So our similarity is that we're all hiding one of our eyes?! That's it?!" Ciel's only visible eye began to twitch.

Kakashi gave that eye-smile again. "Well. We can make a club or something."

"Cheers to that, man," said Sven. "...and woman."

Deathstroke snorted. "No. I refuse to join a 'Hiding One-Eye' Club."

Red grinned. "Comes with super cool eyepatches!"

Ciel began to full-body twitch.

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Dev the snake faunus: Well? Well? How was that? Did I do Shadowclaw justice?**

 **Yuhitsu: One day you shall see!**

 **Mobydicks: That means I'm doing something right with the omakes!**

 **Fennec9: Thank you so much for reading! It means a lot to me!**

 **merendinoemilliano: Yup. Shirou has some crazy bad luck (...or good bad luck?) Hm... more Velvet? I'm going with Arkos here but I _could_ add more Velvet... I think I'll do that omake next chap!**

 **Nightwing2013: Yes you will! Eventually...it _is_ important to the plot. Welp. How was the omake?**

* * *

 **Would love to hear Constructive Critiscm and Suggestions.**

 **Plz RFF.**


	13. Welcome to Beacon!

**Chp 13: Welcome to Beacon!**

 **Disclaimer: RWBY? RT? I'm not the owner!**

 **"I DON"T WANT TO BUY PRESENTS!" ~ ARK**

* * *

Cinder's hand burst into flames. She held it up to the random White Fang soldier. "You're telling me both Roman and Neopolitan were detained and we have _no visuals at all_ as to how it happened?"

The White Fang shranked back. "Uh, uh-yes?"

Emerald snickered. "Ooh, Cinder's mad."

Mercury smirked. What sadistic puppies those two were.

Cinder suddenly grabbed the White Fang. He screamed as his face was burned. He fell to the ground, limp. Cinder looked back at her two disciples. "Well? Don't you have things to do too?"

Emerald and Mercury speed-walked out of the room. They didn't want to deal with angry Cinder after all.

* * *

Ozpin pinched his nose. "Are you serious?" He quickly took a sip from Juniper Coffee...who would never replace Maple Coffee. Glynda had a look of ' _HELL no'_ on her face, though knowing her it was probably thought of more elegantly.

Team Future RWBY (name pending) looked at him. By their side was Neo and Vernal, who both looked _very_ irritated.

"Why wouldn't we be?" asked Dragon.

"Because you're asking me to let a well-known criminal and an emotionally unstable bandit into Beacon!"

Belladonna stared. "...but you've let bandits into the school before, and former White Fang members, and emotionally unstable people, and combinations of all of those."

Glynda frowned. "Well, _yes_ he has, much to my disapproval of course. But usually they weren't also Ma-"

Red suddenly pulled Neo out of the room in a flash of red petals. Moon covered Glynda's mouth.

"Mmf! Mf?"

Belladonna put a hand to her head. "Neo's been through some stuff as a Maiden… so doesn't like the m-word."

"We'll work on it," said Yang.

Ozpin put his hands on his head. "...make that _two_ emotionally unstable people." He looked up. "You do realize the Maidens should be in their respective continents right? Not in one place."

"It hardly matters," said Moon. "If anyone hunts for them, they would go all out anyways."

"...fine. Even barring that, there is only two people, Huntsman Academies work on four-man teams."

Dragon grinned. "Then we could just grab a few of my tribe's bandits to fill in the spots."

"Ugh, more bandits…" Ozpin did not have the best experiences with them *cough, Raven *cough*.

* * *

...and that was how Team NVIM (Nevermore) was formed. One of the most dysfunctional teams to date, which was saying a lot.

"I don't get it!" Vernal threw her hands in the air. She stamped down the halls, going to her first-period class. "Why do I need 'to socialize and join society like a normal person?' Fine! Even if I _did_. Why am I not Team Leader? Why the mute person?"

Bandit #1, whose name starts with I held up a finger. "...because V can't spell out a word?"

"It _can_ ," Bandit #2, whose name starts with M said. "VNIM."

Vernal whirled on them. "Will you two shut up?! I'm ranting!"

Neo walked pass. She really wasn't in the mood for idiots.

"Hey! Mute kid! Don't just walk off on me!"

Neo twitched. She _wasn't_ a kid! Even if her height says otherwise! Heck, she was probably older than that annoying blue eyed loudmouth!

* * *

Team NVIM paled considerably when they got to the Lecture Hall.

"Hello! I'll be teaching…" Dragon quickly looked up at the board that said 'Grimm History' in giant letters on it. "Grimm History!"

Vernal pointed a shaky finger at the blonde. "Wha-what are you doing?! You have a tribe to run!" She didn't even care everyone in the class was staring at her.

Neo face-palmed. Great, the loudmouth makes a bad impression in the first five seconds of class.

"Eh," Dragon waved away her concerns. "It was getting boring. Besides, Raven can handle it. She's been doing it for the last seventeen years or so anyways."

Bandit #1 and #2 blinked. Their diminutive less than side character minds could not handle this new information.

"So…" Bandit #1 started. "You are our teacher?"

"But not our leader?" said Bandit #2.

"What? No. Of course I'm still you're leader. I'm just taking a leave."

Vernal pulled out a giant tome from somewhere. She flipped through it. "Nowhere in the Bandit Code does it say the Leader can go on vacation!"

Dragon tore the tome from Vernal's hand and threw it behind her. It made a dent in the wall besides Jaune. "Woah!"

"Since when did bandits have codes? That's, like, completely contradictory." Dragon stepped back. "I'm Leader, I get to make the rules." _Alright, that sounded completely badass._

"Um! Excuse me!" Weiss waved her hand at Dragon, not bothering to act as a teacher's pet for the future, other-dimensional version of her teammate. "We still have a lesson to learn!"

Dragon looked at her and grinned. "Oh Snow Angel, you're _right._ "

Weiss frowned at the nickname. She shivered, something bad was going to happen, she just knew it.

* * *

"Come on! When _I_ was your age, I could totally take this!"

"You totally couldn't!" denied Yang as she was hit across the room by a giant Beringel.

Dragon frowned as she watched her sort of younger self slam into and broke a desk. "You totally need work. Mertle could do better than you."

Jaune screamed as he was grabbed by a King Taijitu.

"Your turtle?! Bullshit!" Yang's eyes turned red and she readied a punch.

Weiss slid pass. She froze the Beringel's feet with ice dust. Yang threw her punch, blowing a clear hole through the Grimm.

"...Mertle finds that offensive."

Pyrrha sliced off the King Taijitu's head. Jaune tumbled to the floor.

Dragon looked over. "Oh...Jaune is still horrible at everything right now." She wondered if she should keep it that way. Scientist Jaune was _scary._

A Nevermore flew through the room. Fittingly, Team NVIM was attached to it.

Neo pulled out her estoc, silently grunting (a feat that should be impossible). Vernal transformed her Deer Horn Knife into a pistol and shot at the Nevermore's face. Neo ran up the NVIM, estoc slitting through its back. The Nevermore fell to the ground with a thump and disappeared into black ash.

Bandit #1 and #2 fell down on their butts...they weren't much help, at all.

"See? That's more along the lines of what I was expecting," said Dragon.

Ruby and Blake slashed through a horde of Beowulf. They paused as they saw the giant form of a Death Stalker. It screeched.

"Ahehe...Team RWBY unite!" exclaimed Ruby, diving to the side as the Death Stalker's stinger came down.

Dragon muttered under her breath. She pulled out Mertle from her wallet. "Mertle _can_ do better."

The turtle looked at her, unamused. Dragon hurled Mertle at the Death Stalker. The Grimm wailed as Mertle hit its head. It staggered back, its face imploded inwards from Mertle. It heaped to the floor and disappeared.

"...I take back what I said," decided Yang.

* * *

Least to say, Glynda was _not_ happy about the newly destroyed classroom. "What is _this?"_ She said, whisking the room back together.

"We were studying Grimm," answered Dragon. "Y'know, Grimm Studies?"

"It looks to me like you were demolishing Grimm, not studying them. Didn't you take Professor Port's class?"

"Yeah…?" For an year, at least. "I kinda slept through most of it though."

Weiss glowered at Yang, her 'combat skirt' torn and tattered. "This. Is. All. Your. Fault."

"She's not me!"

Neo silently contemplated what the rest of the classes might be like. She shivered, this was only first period after all.

"Huntsmen...they're all crazy," declared Vernal.

* * *

Neo decided this was the most biased history lesson she had ever taken. Sure, she had only taken like, three, but there was no way anyone could top this.

"In the beginning," said Moon. "There were two idiot brothers."

Cue stares. Pyrrha raised a hand.

"Yes?"

"Is this history or legend?"

"Of course it's history, we're in history class!"

"But-"

"I'm older, therefore I am wiser." Moon coughed. "Right, so there were two idiot brothers. One created life. The other created Grimm. Then they both created humanity to fight Grimm."

"Of course, humans were gifted with the power of knowledge, creation, destruction, and choice. Meaning humans are complete jerks."

Blake weren't sure if she should be happy someone acknowledged humanity's problems or worried that Moon didn't seem to have much of a problem admitting that. She looked at Weiss, who was convulsing. _Huh, guess she's not taking her older self that well._

" _But_ there was an even bigger jerk. Her name is Salem. She's a terrible conversationalist and has a real big stick up her ass. I honestly don't know what the brothers were thinking, creating her...oh and she's a Grimm."

Yang whistled appreciatively. "Weiss sure doesn't through her punches in the future."

The still convulsing heiress glared at her.

"So…" Suddenly a penguin appeared and started handing out paper to the students. "I need everyone to write the most offensive letter they can think of to her. Bonus points given for curse words in the right context."

Yang inhaled. "Weiss, you are the best teacher ever!"

Weiss did not take that as a compliment.

Neo grinned. She could get behind this. Sure, she didn't speak...but that didn't mean she didn't have a vocabulary.

* * *

Ozpin banged his head on the table. "Salem isn't supposed to be public knowledge! What part of secret is hard to understand?!"

Glynda patted the ancient man's back. "Look on the bright side…Salem will be getting a lot of hate mail?"

* * *

Yang looked over at Weiss's desk. She began laughing, hard. So hard in fact, she fell over. Weiss turned red, pencil trembling.

Ruby blinked. "Eh? Yang?"

"Hahaha! Weiss can't-can't curse!"

Blake scooted over to get a better look. "...it's bad."

"What does it say?" whined Ruby.

Blake looked at Moon, who was pleasantly scrolling through her scroll.

"Ahem. It says 'Dear Salem. Shit is flying at you.'"

"Oh god!" Yang wiped a teardrop form her eye. "That-that's golden!"

"I thought it was fine!" Weiss blew up. "It looks fine!"

Moon suddenly stood up. "It seems some of us have difficulty with the art of cursing." She looked pointedly at a sweating Pyrrha, a flabbergasted Jaune, and her own red younger self.

"Neopolitan, would you like to give an example?"

Neo nodded sweetly. She went up to the board and began writing.

A few seconds later she revealed the board.

 _Fuck you, Salem_

 _You are a mother-fucking piece of shit that should burn in the pits of the crappiest parts of Hell...and that would be too good for an asshole like you._

 _Lose a life, Neopolitan_

Pyrrha fainted. Yang covered Ruby's eyes. That was _way_ too much cursing for her.

Vernal blinked, gaining new respect for her team leader.

"Lovely, just lovely," said Moon. She made a mental note to send that letter to Salem on the shiniest, longest day of the year. You could always count on Neo to dirty the mood.

* * *

Weiss crossed her arms, looking up at Moon. She pointing a finger at the woman. Ruby and Yang watched from their beds. " _You_ should be running the Schnee Dust Company. What are you doing teaching?"

Moon raised a flippant eyebrow. "I like to think I'm a very good teacher."

"You're not!"

Ruby's eyes widened. "Did Weiss just insult herself?"

Weiss ignored her partner. "You have a responsibility as the President of the Schnee Dust Company to take-"

"And I'm fulfilling my responsibility," cut in Moon smoothly.

"How is standing here fulfilling your responsibility?"

"Well, summons are lovely things."

* * *

Klein walked into the SDC President's royal-*ahem* study hall. He flipped through his papers.

"Ms. Schnee? Your 'Efficiency' Plan was a success. Our shareholders were very surprised when stock actually increased, not dropped." Klein paused, waiting for an answer. "Ms. Schnee?"

He looked up from his papers to see a giant, smoking white knight sitting at the President's desk.

"Oh, uh…"

The white knight pulled out a notepad and flipped to a certain page. It held it up for Klein to see.

' _LEAVE PAPERS HERE.'_

The knight pointed at the desk. Klein swallowed and compiled.

The knight held up another message. ' _WILL INFORM PRESIDENT.'_

"A-alright?"

' _THANK YOU.'_ A pause. ' _PLEASE LEAVE.'_

Klein robotically walked out of the room. Moon Schnee was certainly an unusual employer. She was nice, but unusual.

* * *

"Which reminds me…" Moon looked at Weiss. "You can't summon yet."

Weiss frowned, disappointment quickly filtering in. "Yes?"

"Let's work on it then." Winter was a horrible teacher. Now _Moon_ on the other hand had plenty of ideas on how to teach summoning. She just needed a few Atlesian Paladins...

* * *

Blake found Belladonna in the library with Dragon. Which by the way, Blake found kind of amusing that Yang's future self would be the one to be in the library with her own future self.

"Hi," said Belladonna without looking up from her scroll.

Dragon waved at Blake. "Come 'ere."

Blake sat down at the table. She crossed her fingers nervously.

'You're here for information on the White Fang?" guessed Belladonna.

"How'd-right, same person."

Belladonna snorted. "No, not really. You're the same person as my 17-year old self."

"People change over time," said Dragon. She tilted her head. "That was real inspirational."

Belladonna rolled her eyes. "Sure, whatever you say." Dragon put on a fauxed hurt expression, putting her hand on her heart.

"Uh...White Fang?"

"...I think Red has some plans," said Belladonna. She frowned. "She's had _that_ glint in her eye again."

" _That_ glint?"

"The 'I've got a stupid plan that'll probably work somehow' glint," supplied Dragon.

"Oh."

Dragon patted Blake's head, which she won't admit felt good. "Don't worry, we've got this in a bag."

Blake blinked as something that had been bugging her came to the forefront of her mind. "Um...can I ask how Red lost her eye?"

"I think everyone on Team RWBY has asked that question," she added quickly.

Belladonna sighed. "It'd be best if you ask Red that. It _is_ personal."

Dragon winked. "But hey! You can ask me how I lost my arm! I got over that quick."

"A few years," coughed Belladonna.

"...that was unnecessary."

"Alright…?"

Belladonna looked up. "She was very stupid and charged at someone who was way more powerful at the time."

"If I recall correctly, that was to save _your_ life."

"I'm grateful, but seriously, think before you jump."

"You were on the floor! What was I supposed to do? Stop and ponder the meaning of life?" Dragon poked Belladonna in the head. "Besides, _you_ were the one that ran away."

"Please don't remind me."

"And you totally ruined our relationship."

"Yup, you two totally could've been an item."

Blake jumped. She had been so enthralled in the mini-back and forth, she didn't notice Red had been walking towards them.

"Break's coming up eh?" said Red. "I always love breaks, you can do _anything_." She winked at Belladonna...which just looked like blinking.

Dragon snorted. " _Maybe_. Just maybe."

"Pfft. You totally liked Belladonna."

"That was in the past! Besides, everyone's liked her at some point!"

Belladonna and Blake blushed.

 _Thunk._ A white-haired girl slammed into the library window. She slipped off slowly, leaving her imprint.

Blake blinked. "Weiss…?"

A white Atlesian Paladin appeared. On top of it was Moon with a smile and crossed arms. Weiss stood up, she pointed a finger and shouted at Moon.

"Aw...I want to hear what they're saying," said Dragon.

Moon looked into the library and waved. Weiss was still shouting.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: And here we go! Chp. 13...which is a real step down from the action in last chapter. Eh, whatever. ...my favorite part to right was Neo's letter...Neo is _not_ a good person. Oh and Chapter ten of volume five is up! Luv it. Go Illia! ...and as it has become a tradition now...I have to make fun of it.**

* * *

 **Omake XI: Forgiving (Non-Canon) (Chapter 10, Volume 5)**

Blake stepped down the stairs and looked at the crowd that had gathered. She pointed at the fires _she_ started.

" _They_ did this," she loudly declared. "And you will all cheer for me and join the militia because it's inspirational speech time!"

All the faunus cheered and surged to sign up.

"I'll stand with you!" said Illia, standing up. She cast her eyes down. "If-if you'd have me."

"You're not going anywhere," the police captain grabbed Illia's arm.

"Let her come," said Blake, turning to look at them. "Sure, she tried to kill Sun, she tried to murder all of my family, she caused the death of a whole lot of innocent people, and she attempted murder on me _at least_ five times, but forgiveness is powerful!"

Yang, take some notes.

* * *

 **Omake XII: May the Velveteen One Be With You**

 **Written By: TheSetupMage**

"So, can somebody explain to me how I got all four maiden's powers again? And how I know what a maiden is?" asked Velvet, frowning.

"Apparently, this guy was a really big fan of yours, because you're super nice and cute. It started with the photo weapon, but then developed into a weird obsession and now he prays to you. Then, he mailed a bomb to this evil chick's digs, making sure it also screamed 'VELVET SCARLATINA!' beforehand. He also walked into a bandit camp, offered a scarlet fever ridden child wrapped in velvet after claiming to be a bad guy, and shot a lady who discovered those things. Then he sent bombs to two other places, hidden inside Red Velvet Cakes, iced poorly with 'SCARLETINA'-probably before he learned how to spell your name- and, hey presto, you're the messiah now," said Coco, not bothering to look at Velvet. She was gazing at her own reflection in a mirror.

"Um, thanks, but why is there a rather fabulous lady behind me who's called... [DROPS OF JUPITER, was it?"

"Because the same guy stabbed you with an arrow a bunch of times. That's also why you didn't acquire that exposition dump naturally."

"Fair enough. Last question, Coco. When did you have red eyes?"

"When I took her [PHOTOGRAPH, of course."

-End-

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Mobydicks: How would that work?**

 **Dev the snake faunus: Cool concept, dude. ...and you get your own Kingdom? 0_0. Shadowclaw...next time, I can only fit in two omakes a chapter...**

 **snoogenz: Hell yeah! Let's make it happen!**

 **Mew Shadowfang: Yup, should've thought of team name before I gave them their code names, lol.**

 **merendinoemilliano: awww...I'll have to work on those fight scenes. Velvet x Jaune would be pretty neat in canon. Not to mention we'd get to see more of Team CFVY! Who have been missing since Vol 3 =). Then who do you ship Ruby with? Nobody?**

 **TheSetuoMage: If you didn't mean for me to actually put up your omake just tell me, I'll take it off. But lol, that was _good._ Btw. Is this the future universe or a separate universe in itself?**

* * *

 **Constructive Criticism...Suggestions...anything**

 **Christmas is nigh! Plz Review, Favorite, and Follow! Or even just one would be nice!**


	14. Winter Solstice (Christmas Special)

**Omake XIII: Winter Solstice (Christmas Special)**

 **Disclaimer: It would be lovely if I got to own RWBY and RT for Christmas...but alas, I don't.**

" **What are you doing reading fanfic on Christmas? ...what am I doing writing fanfic on Christmas?" ~ ARK**

 **~ Merry Christmas! ~ ARK**

* * *

Team JNPR and CFVY (plus Illia and Neo) sat at a round bar table. Cheery Winter Solstice music played all around them. People laughed, danced, test their luck in the casino. But Team JNPR and CFVY (plus Illia and Neo) were in their own little world...

Jaune swallowed his shot in one massive gulp. He slammed it down on the table. "I swear to Oum, the paperwork just keeps _growing."_

"Well, it can't be _that_ bad," said Velvet, looking at the man.

"It _is._ It was only halfway to the ceiling a few days ago! Now it's touching it!"

"...it's that bad," decided Velvet.

Coco rubbed her boyfriend's back. "Now, now. Weiss can handle it, so can you."

Jaune slammed his head into the table. "That's the problem. She _doesn't_ handle it."

Coco blinked "Huh?"

Penny raised her hand. "I believe Jaune means that Weiss makes her summons do her work for her instead of actively doing it herself."

"The lucky bastard…" muttered Jaune.

"Wow. He must be real drunk," commented Fox.

Nora giggled. "Nah, he's just a lightweight."

Ren himself was chugging away at his alcohol. "I wish I could get drunk that easily."

Neo held up her scroll. _What's up with him?_

"He's just upset that we traveled to two different dimensions, experienced a dinosaur apocalypse, adopted a gallimimus, got our house destroyed while fostering an Indominus Rex," listed off Nora. She tilted her head. "Oh and he's _really_ upset that I want a tank for our anniversary present."

"I'm working on it," came out Jaune's muffled voice. He held up his hand. "I'm busy at the moment."

"Just let me drink in peace."

"But Rennnnnn, I was about to say we're now officially engaged!"

Ren spewed out his wine. "W-WHAT?!"

Illia ducked from the alchohol. "...that's one way to announce something."

Neo held up her scroll. _I thought you were the one who announced your crush while trying to kidnap said crush and kill her family._

Illia's spots turned pink. "T-that means nothing! Everyone's liked Blake at some point!"

"I didn't," said Jaune.

"Everyone thought you were asexual," dismissed Fox.

"I wasn't! What gave them the idea? I liked Weiss!"

"...I'm pretty sure it was an innocent kiddy crush," said Yatsuhashi.

Jaune turned to Nora and Ren. "Come on guys! You were there!"

Ren was still reeling from the surprise engagement and Nora was laughing her butt off.

"You two suck." Jaune sighed. "Where's team RWBY when you need them?"

"Where _is_ Team RWBY?" asked Velvet, a hint of worry sweeping through. "I mean, they just up and disappeared one day."

 _Don't be worried. They're probably relaxing on a beach somewhere...like last time,_ wrote out Neo.

Everyone at the table collectively shivered.

"Don't remind me," Coco moaned. "I spent, like, all of my earnings that year trying to find them."

"Same," said Jaune. "I even invented the DNA detection device!"

"H-huh?" Ren was still trying to comprehend what Nora had said. It didn't help that the alcohol was finally getting to him.

Yatsuhashi nodded deeply. "Yes. Even Nora was freaking out."

"Don't remind me! It's my goal to be insane for the rest of my life!"

Velvet tilted her head. "I was worried too. But I didn't run into any problems or anything."

Everyone else collectively gave her jealous looks.

Illia frowned at her fellow faunus. "Velvet...you have stupid amounts of luck," she said bluntly.

"I don't! Really!"

 _How many times have you won the lottery?_ asked Neo.

"Uh…" Velvet began counting on her fingers. Then she had to start over because it went over twenty.

 _...forget I asked._

"O-okay, so I might've been lucky a _few_ times."

Coco grabbed her long-time teammate's arm and dragged her off to the casino. "See ya guys in a bit!"

"H-huh? What are we doing?"

"Testing your luck!"

The eight remaining table buddies shrugged.

"New topic!" exclaimed Nora. "Blake's new book. The Tale of the L-"

"NO!" All seven other occupants yelled.

Minus Neo, who had held up a sign out of nowhere with ' **FUCKING HELL NO!'** in large letters on it.

Suddenly, a man burst into the bar and whispered to the manager. The manager's face morphed from disbelief to abject horror.

"Ahem! Attention please!" said the manager through a microphone.

The music stopped. Movement and noise died out as the manager's face appeared on every screen.

"Um. We-we would like to be informed whose dinosaur is it that is eating people's cars. That would be appreciated, thank you." The screens returned to normal.

"Oh! That must be Shadowclaw!" Nora merrily walked to the reception desk.

"She's always cheery, huh?" said Fox.

Ren and Jaune looked at each other. They both knew that wasn't the case. Nora may seem cheery, but that didn't mean she really was.

Ren cracked a small smile. At least she was becoming more genuine every day. He suddenly covered his mouth. "Mm! Mmph!" Ren ran to the nearest bathroom.

"Alcohol sure does get to some people," said Illia with a hint of smugness. She showed no effects from drinking two whole bottles of beer.

 _Lucky you,_ wrote Neo. She personally hadn't even touched a drop of alcohol, it really wasn't her thing,

"A new topic…" muttered Yatsuhashi. He grinned. "Funniest moments of your life!"

"Weiss and Yang getting together," said Jaune. "That was _amazing._ "

* * *

 _Flashback_

" _U-uh," stammered Yang, looking at Weiss._

 _Weiss crossed her arms. "What?"_

 _On the sidelines Team JNPR and R_B_ tried their hardest to control themselves._

 _Ruby failed and giggled._

 _Nora was jumping up and down._

 _Blake sighed and dragged the two off into the donut store near by. Penny followed them._

 _Jaune and Ren looked at each other. They sat down at a bench and waited._

 _Yang swallowed. "U-um...so ice and fire goes together...like a lot."_

 _Weiss raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Really."_

" _Yeah! Like A Song of Ice and Fire and Freezerburn."_

" _And your point…?" Weiss was smirking. Jaune was sure of it._

" _WellIkindoflikeyousopleasebemygirlfriend."_

" _...oh no, Yang turned into Ruby," deadpanned Weiss._

 _Yang swallowed. "Uh...I kind of-"_

 _Weiss shut her up by pulling her in and kissing Yang on the mouth._

 _Nora jumped out of the donut shop's window, wolf-whistling loudly. Blake quickly grabbed her and stuffed her back in the shop._

 _After Weiss pulled back, Yang burst into flames._

 _Pedestrians stared._

Oh no, _Jaune thought. He quickly pulled out a microphone. "Ahem. Being on fire is totally normal. Please keep on going with your daily lives. ...do not try at home."_

" _HELL YES!" yelled Yang. "I'm on fire!"_

 _Weiss face-palmed. She almost regretted her decision._ Almost.

* * *

Ren came back from the bathroom, wiping his mouth with a paper towel. He sat back down.

 _I want to be there now,_ wrote Neo.

Everyone else stared. Ren was left clueless as to what was going on.

"That would be a horrible idea," said Fox slowly.

 _I wouldn't curse! I have more self-control than that!_

"Yeah...like Oscar's thousand something birthday party?" asked Jaune.

Penny tilted her head. "Well, technically it was Oscar's twenty-second birthday and Ozpin's 1,238,7-"

"We get it," said Yatsuhashi, sweatdropping.

"Oh and it was also the reopening of Beacon Academy. My statistics say no one cares though."

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _Neo twitched. Illia looked at her sympathetically. "Don't worry, I was also a bad person who reverted sides because forgiveness."_

I feel soooo fucking relieved.

" _Ladies and gentlemen!" said Oscar through a microphone. He looked around at the ensemble of people. "Today marks the day of reopening of all four Academies."_

 _Suddenly his face shifted. "Oh and it's also my birthday."_

" _Dammit Oz!"_

 _There was a few seconds of silence._

" _Woohoo! Birthday Partyyyyyyy!" exclaimed Nora. She shot a heart missile out of her hammer...which she just happened to have on her._

What. The. Fuck. _wrote Neo as the assembly erupted into chaos._

 _Illia shrugged. "I heard that all huntsmen were crazy in some way."_

 _An apple pie from somewhere smashed into Illia's face. She peeled it off. "I'm pretty sure most things can be traced back to Valkyrie though."_

" _I'm getting the nostalgia!" exclaimed Nora, who had gotten on stage. Her three teammates were readied behind her. "I'm Queen of the Castle!~I'm Queen of the C-"_

 _She was hit in the face by a flaming turkey._

 _Team RWBY stood in challenge. Ruby and Yang's capes flying in the wind in synchrony. Which made no sense considering they were inside. Blake and Weiss stood behind the two, arms crossed._

 _Ruby grinned. "What a coincidence. I'm feeling the nostalgia too."_

 _Nora swallowed a huge chunk from her newly roasted turkey. "Challenge accepted. Go Team JNPR!"_

What. The. Fuck. _repeated Neo._

 _Jaune pulled out a gatling gun. Penny stuffed it full of oranges. Ren was tossed a rocket launcher. He quickly got to work getting the melons. Nora laughed maniacally as she charged in with two pies, three swordfishes, seven pumpkins, and twenty-one apples._

" _We can't let them out do us, girls!" said Ruby. Crescent Rose turned into a vacuum. It began sucking up any food in the nearby vicinity._

" _You've got it sis." Yang levitated off the ground, food items floating around her._

 _Weiss summoned everything she had with arms. "Summons! Destroy them!"_

 _The summons roared in agreement. They charged._

" _..." Blake grabbed everything and anything tuna. She started making shapes out of them. "Go tuna!"_

 _Team CFVY looked on as Team RWBY and JNPR went all out at each other._

" _Looks like fun," said Coco. She glanced at her teammates. "Today I'll let you guys mess up my clothing."_

" _Velvet. You ready?"_

 _Velvet saluted. She opened her box._

" _I call that gatling gun," said Coco. She watched as Jaune sent a barrage of oranges at Weiss's summons._

" _Is that a...vacuum?" asked Fox._

" _It's Ruby's giant scythe," supplied Yatsuhashi._

" _Oh...that's just scary."_

 _Velvet handed Coco the gatling gun. She grabbed Crescent Rose and jumped into the fray, "FOR CFVY!"_

" _She's getting real hyped up about this," said Fox._

 _Yatsuhashi stabbed into five cantaloupes with his great sword. "YAAAA!"_

" _...you too_."

 _Coco was loading cocoa beans into the gatling gun. "Cover me, Fox."_

 _Fox grabbed two cups of steaming hot coffee and loaded them into his pistols. "You know what? You've got it."_

 _Oscar tried to fix the situation. "Guys! What are you-" He was interrupted by an apple to the mouth. Then another to his head...and another. Next he was thrown back by a cooked steak and pelted with hot coffee. The poor guy._

Wasn't it supposed to be _his_ birthday party? _asked Neo_

 _Illia was still trying to clean up the pie. "I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be the academy opening ceremony."_

Oh. I forgot.

 _Illia narrowly dodged to the side as a tuna cat hit the wall. "Where are they getting this food from anyway?!"_

...I don't know. It's like they just appeared out of nowhere.

 _Illia was pummeled by a watermelon._

 _Neo looked at her._ You okay?

" _Aw Oum! What does it look like!" Illia coughed up watermelon seeds._

Not goo- _before Neo could finish typing, an oversized swordfish sent her into the wall. Then a cantaloupe exploded onto her._

 _Neo's eyes glazed over in righteous fury. She pulled the swordfish out of her clothing and threw it to the side. Wind started swirling around her. Neapolitan ice cream were pulled to her in a swirl of colors_ **(A/N: think Avatar form)**.

" _YOU ARE ALL FUCKING DEAD!"_

 _That day went down in history as the 'Epic Food Fight (or what not to do at an important event)'._

* * *

"...I'm glad you don't speak all that much," said Ren.

 _Shut up. NO ONE interrupts my typing,_

"Hey guys!" said Coco, returning with Velvet. She looked at them. "What were you doing while we were kicking butt?"

"Reminiscing about the 'Epic Food Fight' among other things," said Fox.

"Ooohh, that was fun."

"How much did you make?" asked Yatsuhashi.

Coco shoved Velvet playfully. "Come on, tell them!"

"...a million lien."

 _Damn it,_ wrote Neo finally.

"Have you ever thought about just not working, like at all?" asked Ren.

"Uh…?"

Velvet was _luckily_ saved by a giant Indominus Rex running through the bar and causing chaos.

"Go Shadowclaw!" exclaimed Nora, riding on top.

The dinosaur barked in excitement as it trampled down a row of arcade systems.

Jaune looked at Velvet. "...looks like we'll be paying for repairs."

"Truly, we are very thankful that we just happen to have a million lien on us," said Ren gravely.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Merry Christmas y'all! Which means traffic isn't going to be that busy. Hopefully...I mean, you're** _ **supposed**_ **to be spending time with your family. *Ahem* don't look at me… So then I decided, hey, I want to write more about the future! Omake Time!**

 **As always, little bro is the beta.**

* * *

 **Omake XIV: Team Rose**

 **Written By: snoogenz**

With a jump and a spin Red landed gracefully onto the floor, pointing ahead of her.

"HAHAHAHA! Prepare for awesomeness!"

"And make it double!"

A gust of wind passed and soon Ruby was standing next to Red, back to back.

"To protect our cookies from devastation!"

With a flourish Red was then holding a jar of cookies, cradling it as a mother would her newborn.

"To unite all huntsmen within our nation!"

A resounding crack was heard as Ruby withdrew Crescent Rose from her back, slamming the blade into the ground.

In the blink of an eye Red moved the most beloved cookies to a safe place as she herself wielded her own Crescent Rose, holding the deadly weapon in front of her

"To denounce the evils of Grimm and Salem!"

Following Red's example Ruby pointed her weapon in front of her.

"To extend our reach across all of Remnant!"

"Red!"

"Ruby!"

Declaring their names Red and Ruby activated their semblances, turning into red blurs as rose petals began to litter the floor

"Red and Ruby moving faster than the speed of light!" Red's voice called out

"Please don't surrender, we really want to have a fight!" Ruby almost sounded sad when talking about the idea of surrender.

Instantly the red duo stopped and posed back to back once again, both Crescent Roses in gun form resting on their shoulders, smirks present on both Roses. Then a small explosion was heard then instantly Penny was hovering behind Red and Ruby as she herself struck a pose. With arms stretched out above her and head tilted back Penny was doing a perfect rendition of a Y.

"Salutations! That is correct!".

Silence filled the auditorium as team RWBY, future RWBY, and JNPR looked onto the stage. For a solid three minutes no one spoke, their minds too busy trying to process what they just witnessed. Thankfully (?) Red broke the silence. "Pretty awesome huh? I had this plan in my head for a few days now. Thank you Ruby and Penny for helping me with this."

"No problem! It was fun."

"Ruby is right Red, that was most pleasant to do."

Turning to the audience, Red waited for their reception. Naturally it was Moon who spoke first.

"We are so getting sued for this. Be thankful I'm rich."

"Who cares about being sued! That barely even rhymed! How is Penny floating!? And why was her pose a capital 'Y'?" Thank you Weiss for stating the important parts.

"Oh that's easy Weiss. I'm hanging from my weapons which I stuck to the ceiling. See?" Penny dropped to the ground as two swords descended from the ceiling and returned to her back. "And it want a capital 'Y' Weiss, I was praising the sun!." Penny returned to her praising, showing everyone her perfect control of balance as she didn't move an inch while standing on her toes. Weiss's eye twitched as she was unable to think of a response.

"Now I understand why you were hiding from Red these past few days Belladonna." Blake addressed her older self.

Belladonna nodded "Indeed. There was no way I was gonna play Meowth."

Red, being the mature older self, stuck her tongue at Belladonna. "You're no fun sometimes Belladonna. "So what do you think Yang? Dragon?"

Turning to the blondes Red saw that they were intact busy talking amongst themselves "Yang? Dragon? Some input would be nice here."

With a nod Yang and Dragon stood and began walking to the door. "Sorry Red but as the older sisters we can't be out done you two, so me and Yang-"

"Yang and I!" Weiss and Moon called out on instinct to verbally correct Dragon.

"-are gonna go and think of our own intro. See ya in a few days." Dragon waved goodbye.

"See ya later Ruby! Remember to brush your teeth." Yang called with her own wave.

"Ok then. How about you guys? Red turned to team JNPR

"It uh... it was pretty good."

"Some worthy praise there Jaune." Red chuckled

"I thought it was well done and had a nice original feel to it." Pyrrha added

"Yeah! That was awesome! With the explosion and the super speed! Ren can we do something like that?"

"I think it would take a lot of practice Nora, but it might be possible. And it was very well coordinated. You did a great job."

"Why thank you Ren. Now let's get out here before Glynda finds out we put holes in the stage and ceiling."

"Before I find out what Miss Rose?" Speak of the devil and she shall come. Slowly turning behind her Red found a very angry Glynda Goodwitch. Was she always one hundred feet tall and had the fires of hell burning in her eyes?

"Uh... heh heh heh... mercy?" pleaded Red

Glynda's glare intensified "No."

* * *

 **Omake XV: The Alternate Plan (Non-Canon) (Chapter 9, Volume 5)**

 **Written By: TheSetupMage**

"My leader, Salem's agents have found us! They desire audience with you!"

Raven, who had placed her fire dust blade across her knee, picked up the whetstone.

"Which ones again?"

And lowering the whetstone…

"Dr. Arthur Watts and Cinder Fall of Salem's high council and the incumbent Fall Maiden, and her two apprentices, perpetrators of the Fall of Beacon."

clack* the whetstone fell.

"Shit. Well, fuck all-a y'all bitches, you pansy-ass motherfuckers couldn't kill first-years if they were totally disarmed! Vernal, grab on tight. Initiate plan 'The Fuck Outta Dodge'."

"But ma'am! It's not ready yet!"

"I don't care! We have no other option! We move out now!"

And with that, Raven stood with her sword, and with Vernal in tow, ran through a portal to Taiyang.

"Ah, forgot something. Be right back!"

An arm vaguely fumbles out of a black and red mist, before settling on the fallen stone. The last things to be heard from within were-

"I wonder why I've never sharpened my sword before? I mean, of course, it's made of high explos-"-before a figure flew out.

"Damn...you...Raven Branwen..." And the spring maiden was snuffed out.

"Ooh, why do I feel so powerful now?"(because due to the fact that 17 years haven't aged you a bit, my power counts you as young.)

"What? Who's there?"(me, Ozpin, or at least enough of him to be the maiden's mandatory tutorial. Basically, MinMax into strength, defense and charisma in order to build your mostly incestuous harem.)

"But I hate Qrow! I want him dead!"(There's four memorable bachelors in the world, because Ren is taken. Qrow will be in your harem and you will like it.)

Taiyang, who had grown bored of crazy people, poured the two coffees, both laced with Rohypnol because he wanted some sleep dammit, and proceeded to tape the portal shut.

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **TheSetupMage: My omakes are _long._ Yours is short in comparison, lol. **

**snoongenz: Your omake was amazing. I loved it. And Moon...no, she doesn't. She's just teaching from experience after all!**

 **Dev the snake faunus: ...please don't ever go to war. I don't think Remnant could survive it...**

 **5th Dimension: True...I think its really sweet that Blake still forgave her but _still._ *thumbs up* humor is the way to go!**

 **Yuhitsu: Sadly the penguin was busy running a company and ordering people around to blast Weiss into the window...**

 **merendinoemilliano: Cool. And damn it, you hit the nail on the head...(on what I will not say) on the other hand, Jaune's background will be explored someday...whenever I can fit it in or add as a short story/omake...**

 **Mobydicks: Hmm...interesting.**

* * *

 **Sup! Constructive Criticism and Suggestions!**

 **Christmas isn't complete without Reviewing, Favoriting, and Following!**


	15. First Semester Break

**Chp XIV: First Semester Break**

 **Disclaimer: I am not awsome enough to own RWBY not Rooster Teeth.**

 **"Oblivious people suck." ~ ARK**

* * *

"First Semester Break!" exclaimed Red, hands on her hip. "Finally! Operation Awesome can start!"

She just got back from Team RWBY's dorm (to make sure they did their homework for _her_ class). The door was still wide open.

Belladonna looked up from her book. "Really?" she asked drily. "I never got the papers."

"Well, it's pretty clear cut. All we need to do is take over the White Fang."

Belladonna's very informative (porn) book dropped out of her hands and landed with a thud.

" _What_?"

* * *

"Man, First Semester Break," said Dragon, hanging off of her bed. "You have anything planned, Snow Queen?"

"Snow Queen is not an improvement from Ice Queen," muttered Moon.

She turned around her super expensive executive chair that she had purchased a few days ago. Her fingers were intertwined and she cackled.

"Mwahaha! ...Plan Arkos is a go!"

Dragon shivered. Her girlfriend was _scary_.

"And you are going to help me!"

Dragon suddenly felt the urge to run.

Moon summoned her penguin and petted it slowly. "Oh yes…"

* * *

Winter checked in at the airport. She grabbed her suitcase and walked with authority into Vale City. Her destination?

Beacon Academy.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm helping you do this," said Belladonna. Her girlfriend was the best, sure. But clearly she wasn't the most sane.

" _Please_. My disguise is foolproof," said Red. She pointed at the wolf tail attached to her butt, concealed by her cloak.

Belladonna raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Sure."

"Besides, you're a legitimate faunus. And I'm with you, so why would I be a fake faunus?"

"That actually sounds logical."

"Exactly." Red spread her hand at the clearly nondescript building in front of them. "So we just need to walk in!"

"Ahuh. And why couldn't we bring Dragon and Moon again?"

Red pouted. "Because _we_ need to do something. Moon took over her ass of a father's company and Dragon took over her ass of a mother's tribe!"

"Clearly they were made for each other," deadpanned Belladonna.

"But there's a hole in that logic, wouldn't it mean the two of us have to do two different things?"

"But I don't have anything! I'm not stupid enough to take on Salem by myself either."

Red peered at Belladonna. "I _guess_ you could leave me to take over the White Fang and you go take over Menagerie."

"No. My parents are _fine_ , they rule fine too." Also, that would leave Belladonna with no time to read extremely educational (porn) books. At least if Red and Belladonna took over the White Fang, Red would likely do most of the work.

Belladonna nodded to herself. "...alright."

"Great!" Red guided her forward to the totally nondescript building (it only had a giant White Fang logo on it) in the middle of nowhere. "This'll be a piece of cake!"

* * *

Moon twitched. This was _not_ a piece of cake. She pulled the sticky gum off of her face. "Ugh."

Even though Jaune had literally held Pyrrha in his hands, still no reaction from either of them! Pyrrha wasn't (wo)man enough to confess, Jaune was just too freaking idiotic! Stupid considering he would become the world's most renowned scientist. Ever.

Nora skipped up to her. "Well? Well? Did it go right?"

"What do you think?"

"Ye-"

"NO!" Moon wanted to hide in a closet and cry. How hard can this be? It's been going on for three days straight at this point!

Sure, Plan ReNora took an year and Plan ArcANYONE an year and a half but those were carefully controlled (and completely convoluted) plans. She's been throwing everything at Plan Arkos, from water balloons, giant nevermores, unfortunate 'accidents', to falling off cliffs! Honestly, at this point Moon might just scream 'JUST KISS ALREADY!' at the two.

Dragon poked her head into the dorm. "What plan next?"

Pyrrha and Jaune remained completely oblivious to the 'plan'.

"...I think I'm going to take a break. Weiss still needs to work on her summoning." At the very least, Moon would work out _her_ stress.

"Aw...she's so cute!" gushed Dragon. "I mean she always has this little frown o-"

She was interrupted by Moon cupping her mouth. "First, _I'm_ better and second, did you just say you liked me because of my frown?"

"Mm! Mf!" denied Dragon.

"No kisses tonight." Moon took her hand away and walked out into the hall.

"Noooooo!" wailed the strongest Fall Maiden ever.

* * *

"Arghhh!" A summoning glyph appeared behind Weiss. An armored hand came flying out, blocking the Atlesian Paladin's strike.

"See? What did I tell you? Be more angry," said Moon as though it was common sense. "Or be scared for your life, either way."

Weiss huffed and puffed, putting her hands on her knees. "This...is…ridiculous."

She was slammed by an Atlesian Paladin arm and sent flying.

"Suprise usually does it too though." Moon rubbed her chin.

"...I should probably check if she's alright."

* * *

Meanwhile….

"Ahhhhhhh!" screamed Weiss as she flew through the air. She made a glyph to cushion her fall. It had the added side effect of sending her into the air again.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Curse her other self! She face planted into the floor. "Ugh…"

"Weiss?!"

Weiss looked up. She suddenly felt the urge to curse. "Hello...Winter."

"What are you doing?" Winter frowned at her. Weiss looked around. They were in the courtyard. She shakily stood up and brushed off her clothes. Weiss straightened in the presence of her sister.

"Practicing summoning," she said dutifully.

Winter raised an eyebrow. "Since when was flying through the air a way to practice summoning?"

Weiss threw her hands in the air, all formality with it. "I don't know!"

Winter coughed into her hand. "Very well...Weiss have you heard of what has become of the Schnee Dust Company?"

"...yes?" Weiss blinked.

"It seems that an outsider who goes by the name of Moon Schnee has stolen the company. As such I am worried about your saf-"

"Hello!" Moon said, walking towards them. She looked at Winter. "I didn't realize we were getting a visitor today."

Winter gaped. "Wha-what?"

Moon frowned as she came up to the Atlesian Specialist. "Damn it, you're still taller than me. Even in the past."

Winter was still gaping and now she was also blinking. "Wha-?"

Moon turned to Weiss. "Glad you're still in one piece." She clucked. "Sadly, you still can't summon."

Weiss stamped her feet. "I managed to get an arm out!"

"Sure...can you do that on purpose?"

"No, bu-"

"Yeah, no. We're doing that again later."

Winter finally managed to regain control of herself. "What are you doing here?"

Moon looked at her. "Because I work here?"

"...excuse me?"

* * *

Part I of Operation Awesome was a success, obviously. Red and Belladonna had found the White Fang Base with ease seeing as they were from the future.

Part II, actually getting into the Base was simple enough.

Belladonna cleared her throat and looked at the unimportant White Fang member. "Password is-is…'swordfish are the best, no questions'."

She took out a bottle of water and cleaned her mouth. Sienna Khan was wrong on so many levels. Tuna are the best, no question.

Red tried not to laugh out loud as they were allowed into the base. " _T-that's_ the password?"

"The chances of anyone happening to guess that are nearly zero," defended Belladonna, though she did agree, it was a horrible password. Still tuna all the way.

"R-right." Red cleared her throat. "Now we just need an audience with the current leader. Who was it again?"

Belladonna walked down the halls, Red close behind her.

"Sienna Khan, a Bengal Tiger Faunus."

"Oo, Bengal Tiger? Cool."

Belladonna rolled her eyes. "Sure."

They reached the end of the hall, where two large doors stood. Red took the honor of slamming them open.

Sienna Khan directed her attention towards them. Corsac and Fennec Albain looked up. The White Fang Lieutenant looked over his map. Ilia Amitola stared. Adam Taurus grunted.

"...did we interrupt something?" asked Red.

Belladonna facepalmed.

* * *

"You work here?" asked Winter for the millionth time. She, Weiss, and Moon walked down the hallway to Team RWBY's dorm.

" _Yes_."

"As the history teacher.

" _Yes_."

"While you're the President of the Schnee Dust Company."

" _Yes."_

"And you're an actual Schnee."

" _Yes_."

"She's also the future version of Weiss," supplied Yang, passing by. The blonde stopped. "Oops."

" _Yes_." Moon frowned. "That was automatic. Even if it was true."

Winter paused. She processed the information. "What?!"

Weiss sighed, feeling a migraine coming up.

* * *

"Do we have to do this the diplomatic way?" whispered Red. "It's so boring!"

Belladonna rolled her eyes. "Yes."

"Am I right in understanding that you two want to take over the White Fang?" asked Sienna Khan. She looked at Red and Belladonna incredulously from her throne.

"Yup." Red nodded.

"No."

"We could always put it up to a fight. Y'know, strongest one gets to be the ruler?"

"No."

"You scared?"

" _No_."

"Then why won't you fight me?"

Sienna Khan gritted her teeth. "Because it's not worth it."

Adam chuckled. "Perhaps you _are_ too scared."

Belladonna had positioned herself as possible from the other faunus. She mused how ridiculous it was that _he_ would be the one to aid them of all people.

"...fine."

"Yes! Fight!"

...Red wiped the floor with the now former leader of the White Fang. She dropped to the ground and retracted Crescent Rose.

She stood up. "See? Piece of...cake."

Her fake tail had dropped to the floor. "...Oum dammit."

Several gasps were heard around the throne*ahem*assembly room.

Red sweatdropped as the most important members of the White Fang armed themselves. "Alright, maybe too much fighting spirit."

" _Human_ ," growled Adam. He shot Wilt out of its sheath, Blush.

The sword was blocked by Gambol Shroud. Belladonna narrowed her eyes. "I guess I'll defeat you again."

"What?" Adam looked at her. "That weapon…"

Red extended Crescent Rose again. "Have fun beating him up. I'll deal with the red hooded ones and the lieutenant."

"Mm."

Corsac made the first move, firing his spiral dagger.

Red dodged the resulting flames. She dashed towards Corsac in a flurry of roses. She swung down Crescent Rose.

It was intercepted by Fennec. Red grinned. She spun and roundhoused kicked the faunus, sending him spiraling into the ground.

"Brother!" Corsac readied his weapon again.

Red flipped back. She transformed Crescent Rose into its great sword mode as the White Fang Lieutenant's chainsaw hit it.

"Y'know, I never got your name," mused Red. She slammed the flat of the great sword into the Lieutenant's stomach.

He doubled over, allowing Red to grab his head and slam it into the floor.

Suddenly, a burst of flames consumed her.

Belladonna parried Adam's attacks with ease. She had worked with him for years before and she had studied how he attacked even after that. This time she might not have Illia to help her finish the job, but she had gotten better over the years.

She slammed her elbow into Adam's mask, sending him stumbling backwards. His mask cracked in two to reveal the whole of his face.

"Dammit! Illia, help me!"

Oh the irony. Illia's static filled whip hit Belladonna's clone, where the real Belladonna had been only moments before.

She should probably get Illia back onto the path of the light...again.

Sadly there was no life-saving parents to be found anywhere in the vicinity.

Adam fired Blush. Belladonna formed a line of clones, avoiding the bullets.

"Listen to me, Illia!"

The chameleon faunus frowned. She ran around Belladonna, trying to find a weak spot.

"I know you have a crush on Blake!"

Poor Illia stumbled and crash landed on her face.

 _I probably shouldn't tell her that she has little to no chance with my younger self._

Adam snarled. He charged at Belladonna. She cuffed Gambol Shroud around his legs and pulled. The asshole of a faunus landed on his back with a thud.

For good measure...and maybe a bit of revenge. Belladonna walked up to him and stamped him where the sun doesn't shine. Adam howled in pain.

She may have enjoyed it a _little_ bit too much.

Belladonna ducked just in time as sharpened claws swiped at her head.

Red's cloak had caught on fire right before she had zoomed away and she was angry. After quickly paring out the flames, she glared at Corsac, ignoring the recovering Fennec.

"Do you know how many years I've had this cloak?!" she growled out.

Corsac suddenly felt _very_ worried.

" _Seventeen_ years!" Red turned into a flurry of angered rose petals. They swirled at Corsac, taking Fennec with them.

Suddenly Corsac was hit with the impact of the roses and sent crashing into the wall. Red wasn't done though. He was quickly drilled through the wall and into the White Fang cafeteria. Then out the other side's wall and outside.

A random White Fang member blinked, his lunch now on the ground. He looked at his buddy. "What was that?"

Random other White Fang member shrugged and continued slurping up his noodles.

Red rematerialized, sliding to a stop with one hand on the ground. Fennec, still riding on the rose petal made current, was sent flying into the sky with light speed and disappeared.

" _No one_ messes with the cloak," said Red to nobody in particular, as Corsac had fainted a long time ago.

Belladonna pulled at Sienna Khan's arm and let go, propelling Sienna into the air. The bengal tiger faunus landed on her feet with ease.

Well, Belladonna should have expected that. Cats always land on their feet after all, even her.

"Did you really think your human friend defeated me?" asked Sienna.

"Yes."

"Well, haha, you were wr-"

"And I was right."

Sienna paused. "What?"

"Please," Belladonna rolled her eyes. "Would you really just let someone beat you?"

"...yes…?"

"Face it, for one of the first faunus to advocate for violence, you were never good at it."

Sienna colored. "No, I was-"

She was knocked out by a punch to the face. Belladonna shook her hand.

"Honestly...the fact that you let me close enough to punch you really doesn't help your claim."

She frowned and held her punching hand. "Though your face certainly is hard."

Red appeared in a flurry of rose petals next to Belladonna. "You done too?"

Belladonna looked at the giant hole in the wall her girlfriend made. "Yes...did you go too far?"

"He burned my cloak."

Belladonna nodded. "I see."

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Helloooooo! What's up peeps? How was your Christmas? And what doya think about this Chapter? Byeeeeeeee!**

 **Beta-Reading is to my little brother like always.**

* * *

 **Omake XVI: Lunch w/ Team NVIM**

"..."

Team NVIM sat awkwardly at the same lunch table as Team RWBY and Team JNPR. Dragon had suggested Vernal to sit there. Which the Spring Maiden had immediately taken as an order and dragged the rest of her team to the table.

Right now Vernal was hyperventilating if Yang could be counted as Dragon and therefore she had to follow her orders as well.

"Does it count? Does it not? I mean they're technically the same person but technically not? Does it cou-"

"Uh...is she okay?" asked Ruby.

Vernal slammed her head into the table.

Neo waved away Team RWBY's leader's concerns. She held up her borrowed scroll. _Who cares_?

"Isn't she your teammate?" asked Jaune.

Neo shrugged. She pointed at Bandit #1 and Bandit #2, who were carefully examining their food. One of them poked at it.

"Woahhh."

"...I wouldn't want to be associated with them either," decided Weiss.

"That's not nice," berated Pyrrha.

"Will you people just get along?!" Yang slammed her fists into the table. She had had to deal with Neo and Vernal for the last week...the Bandits didn't make much of an impression. She glared st Vernal. "And you! Shut up!"

"Y-yes Ma'am!" exclaimed Vernal, sitting up straight.

* * *

 **Omake XVII: Back to the JNPR**

 **Written by: TheSetupMage**

*cough, cough*

"Aww, Renny! They get to make explosions, why can't we?"

"My lovely valkyrie, you can make all the explosions you want."

"Aww, thanks Ren-hey wait, you don't sound like my Renny!"

The , the smoke cleared, to reveal a bespectacled Jaune covered in ash, a cardboard box with a lingerie-clad Nora on the largest face, a girl in a sloth onesie holding a hammer and a bayoneted SMG, and an orange-haired DJ.

"Apologies, Nora, I have to get a new voice actor in two seasons' time."

"Aww Renny, I love your new voice! So smooth and sultry..."

"Wait, wait, wait. Renny? Nora? Voice Actor? Seasons? A cardboard box? A DJ? SULTRY?!"

"Calm down, me. After I defeated the big bad of season 4, who was confirmed to be your childhood foe, I realised that I've only ever won two? I think two. Fights. So, I played to my strength; being a ninja. Now, I can catch anyone who deigns to look at my Nora, and kill them while they're unaware. Oh, and Pyrrha dies, Jaune learns the art of dust-"

"KABOOM! AHAHAHAHA!"

"-Wonderful. And Penny gets rebuilt."

"Salu-*do-vee*-tations.*wub-wub-wub-wub-wub-wub*"

"And after an ambiguously titled skit, decides to remain a disc jockey."

"You mean""Renny""Nora""has feelings for me?"

"Oh Renny! Look how cute and stupid we were! Can we bunk with them? Can we? Can we?"

*schlompf**schlompf**buurp*

"Before you ask, Pyrrha, this is a really good box. Sadly for you, it's not plot proof, though."

"Dammit. Would you at least help us deal with the Grimm? I'd hate to not have made it in-"

"Maiden."

"-because we were held up. Sorry, what was that, Jaune?"

"Maiden. Fall Maiden. Cinder Fall Maiden. CINDER FALL FALL MAIDEN! CINDER! CINDER! YOU WILL PAY. VENGEANCE! REVEANGANCE! I AM HAVING MY VENGEANCE! AHAHAHA! YOU LIKE FIRE SO MUCH, TOVARICH?! WELL, WE'LL GO OUT TOGETHER IN A BALL OF METAL AND FIRE AND DEATH! DO YOU LIKE THAT?! DO YOU LOVE ME FOR THAT?! WELL, SHE LOVED ME AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT HER! AND NOW I CAN AVENGE HER AND JOIN HER! THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU! AHAHAHA! I! FEEL! GLORIOUS! AND! WARM!"

And, with just a hug, a *kik*. and however much nuclear dust you can fit on a protagonist-sized man, Arkos happened. Not too hard, now that you think about it. Oh yeah, and so did Big Sloth x Renora x 'Renora the sloth original character do not steal'. Whatever THAT means.

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **merendinoemilliano: oh...well, we'll see for Canon. And the action's finally starting for Vol 5 so yeah! I have how Jaune became a scientist scheduled for around...The end of Vol 2.**

 **TheSetupMage: Ahh! It's so META! And I have no idea what's going on but who cares?**

 **Disk: Moon tried, she tried...Arkos will happen though...eventually.**

 **Dev the snake faunus: What did I doooooooooo?!**

 **Guest: lol yes**


	16. Semester Break END

**Chp XV: Semester Break END**

 **Disclaimer: Haven't ever owned Rooster Teeth or RWBY.**

 **"See you next year! ...ugh, that's so last year.' ~ ARK**

 **~ Happy New Year! ~ ARK**

* * *

"Man, now I know why Adam wanted this chair so much," said Red, crossing her legs on the White Fang leader throne. "This thing is _real_ comfortable. Wanna try?"

Belladonna dragged Adam by the legs to the corner of the giant room, making sure to have Adam's head hit the ground as many times as possible. She tied him up with uncomfortable iron wires she had found in the storage.

"Later."

"Huh." Red looked at Illia, who was still on the floor. She gained an evil glint in her eye. "Hey, you know what I'm thinking?"

Belladonna stood up. She looked over the ensemble of tied up important members of the White Fang and let out a satisfied pur. She turned her attention to Red, then Illia.

"...nothing good, I assume." Oh, the faith she had in her leader and girlfriend.

Red zoomed over to the groaning chameleon faunus. She poked at her. "Hey! Wakey, wakey!"

"W-what?!" Illia sat up in lightning speed. "Get away from me!" She scurried out of Red's reach, turning completely white.

"Oh. Still at the 'I hate humans' stage." Red nodded in understanding. She peered at Illia. "Still adorable though."

Red looked at Blake. "Don't you think fifteen year old Illia is adorable?"

"...and the color changing thing too."

Illia was now completely weirded out and slowly edging away from what she assumed was a mentally challenged woman.

"Illia would kill you if she heard that," said Belladonna simply.

"Please." Red waved off her comment. "First, she's not here. Second, you know she secretly likes it."

"That's up for debate."

Illia had no idea what the two crazy ladies were saying seeing as she was _right there._

"Anywayyy. So I was thinking, why don't we enroll her in Beacon?"

 _WHAT?!_

"Let me guess...into Team NVIM."

"Yup. They even have an I so it's super easy."

"You want to put her on the same team as two maidens," said Belladonna. She held out a hand and set down a finger.

"Both of which are mentally unstable."

Down one other finger.

"One of which has been a criminal for her whole life."

Another finger.

"The other having been a bandit for most of her life."

Down another finger.

"And...I guess the bandit is just there? He's actually pretty alright."

"Exactly!" Red nodded vigorously. "And she might not be a Maiden but she has the mental instability and shady background down to a tee!"

"I'm not mentally unstable!" Illia exclaimed. She could at least say _that_ much.

Red suddenly appeared next to her and patted her head. "That's in the air. I heard you had a real breakdown when you were trying to kill Belladonna."

"She never tried to _kill_ me," defended Belladonna for her faunus friend. "...just tried to kidnap me and send me to an abusive former lover. And I guess tried to kill my family and Sun?"

"...I stand corrected," decided Red. "Didn't she confess her undying love for you at the same time? Now _that_ is how you don't do things."

"Yeah, but we worked it out in the end so it wasn't _too_ bad."

Red looked at Illia. "Pro tip, don't confess to a person when you're trying to do awful things to them. A. This tends to ruin any possible romantic relationship and B. You will never hear the end of it…. _ever."_

"Who would do such a thing?" said Illia. She looked at the two woman suspiciously. "...you make it sound like _I_ did that."

"Sure, sure." Red went back to patting the faunus's head. "As long as the lesson reaches you."

Illia swiped Red's hand away irritably. Her spots suddenly turned pink. "W-wait. How did you know about my c-crush on...Blake?"

"Aww! See? So cute!" Red attempted to hug Illia. The faunus managed to scoot away quick enough to avoid the woman.

"...it wasn't hard to see?" tried Belladonna. She noticed the giant hole in that logic immediately considering she had never seen Blake and Illia together...technically.

Red laughed. "You sure didn't notice!"

"Hahaha, very funny," deadpanned Belladonna.

Poor Illia was left even more confused than before. "W-what's wrong with you people?"

* * *

"Moon! Moooon!"

"Yes, Dragon?" Moon tore her eyes from the ginormous planning board for PlanArkos that took up half the room.

"My commission finally came!" Dragon was holding a box.

"And this concerns me because…?"

"It's a gift for you!" Dragon opened the box. "Tada! A pen gun!"

Moon paused. "A pen...gun. As in a pen that's also a gun."

"Yup! Sounds pretty useful, huh?"

"That's _debatable_ ," decided Moon. She looked into the box. To be fair, it _was_ a very nice pen, likely because Dragon knew her tastes. And Dragon _had_ taken the time to pick it out and commission it. "Thank you though...I appreciate it.

"Score!"

Moon took the box. "Yes, yes, good for you. Now how does this shoot?"

"Pull off the tip, press the giant button."

"...I see." Well, she suppose it was simple enough.

"By the way, how's Winter coping?"

"...I think you scarred her for life."

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _Weiss slammed open Team RWBY's dorm door. "Guys! My sister's visiting, make a good…"_

 _Ruby was balancing pencils on her nose. Blake was dodging Nora's attempts to untie her bow while reading a book. Ren was massaging his temples. Jaune was in the middle of screaming from a horror movie someone had put on. Pyrrha was giggling at said screaming. Dragon was...floating in the middle of the room for whatever reason._

" _...impression," finished Weiss. Why was Team JNPR in_ her _dorm, she had no idea. She resisted the urge to yell at them to 'GET OUT!'._

 _Winter gaped. "Is she...floating?"_

" _Does it all the time," dismissed Moon. Honestly, what a show off._

 _Dragon turned to look at the new arrivals. Her eyes widened and she pointed a finger gun at Winter._

" _Winter is coming!"_

 _Moon facepalmed._ Of course, _apparently that never gets old. She almost felt bad for her sister for having such an unfortunate name._

" _What?" said Winter, oblivious to the reference._

" _It'll make a lot more sense in a few years," dismissed Dragon._

" _Oh...you're one of the time-travelers?" Winter looked at Dragon. "The blonde one."_

 _Weiss huffed. "Sadly, I have no idea why my future self is in a relationship with an idiot."_

 _Winter's brain froze. She shut down and started twitching._

" _Uhh...Weiss?" said Ruby. "I think your sister is faulty. Maybe you can get a replacement?"_

" _Why can't I just get_ one _day where nothing goes wrong!? exclaimed Weiss. She dragged Winter out of the room. "Ugh!"_

 _Moon watched them go. "...I was so stuck-up…"_

 _Blake looked up from her book, still dodging Nora. "How did you get_ un _stuck?"_

" _Oh! Oh! Tell us the secret ingredient!" exclaimed Ruby._

 _Dragon placed a hand on her chest. "Of course, it was all m-"_

 _Moon threw her out the window with a well placed glyph._

" _That is false." She looked at the ensemble of first-year students. "It only took nearly dying around twenty times, yelling at people in a public event, and escaping a mansion before getting kidnapped by a tribe for human trafficking."_

" _...don't worry, I escaped. I even had tea with the kidnappers afterwards."_

 _Somewhere in the hallway, Weiss fainted and Winter fell to the ground, still statue like._

 _Dragon appeared out of the window. "FYI, I was totally the one who saved her. Like a prince with a snobbish prin-"_

 _Moon threw the Fall Maiden out of the window again. "I got out of the cage myself! You did nothing! Besides, it was_ your _mom who kidnapped me."_

" _...and she never did apologize."_

 _Pyrrha looked a little nauseous. "I don't believe Team RWBY will be implementing any of those...strategies any time soon." She looked between Ruby and Blake._ "Right _?"_

" _Well…I kind of like Moon a lot more than Weiss."_

 _Blake nodded in agreement._

" _Why, thank you ladies," said Moon."I appreciate it."_

* * *

"Eh. Not my problem," decided Dragon. "She's a big girl."

"She's currently younger than us," pointed out Moon. She paused. "That's mildly disturbing."

Suddenly, the scroll next to Moon's bedside started going off violently.

' _KIMI NO ZEN ZEN ZENSE-'_

Moon quickly grabbed the scroll and turned off the alarm. "Mercury and Emerald incoming."

"Wha-is that Belladonna's scroll?" Dragon raised an eyebrow. "Why do you have Belladonna's scroll?"

"I'll tell you on the way, let's go."

"Window?"

"Faster."

Moon slammed open the window. Dragon jumped out, turning into an eagle. She flew off towards the city. Moon made a series of black glyphs and followed.

Both didn't noticed that Weiss and Winter had just opened the door and was now staring at the flapping curtains.

"...so _that's_ how Dragon flew," muttered Weiss.

Winter robotically turned to her dear little sister. She placed a hand on Weiss's shoulder.

"Don't make your older self a role model," she advised.

* * *

"You wanted to know why I have Belladonna's scroll?"

Eagle Dragon nodded.

"It went something like this…"

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _Belladonna met up with Moon in Moon and Dragon's room._

" _So I'll be off with Red to do...something," said Belladonna._

" _Something?" questioned Moon._

 _Belladonna shrugged. "Red wants to keep it confidential."_

 _Moon looked at Belladonna sympathetically. "Best of luck to you then." Being Red's partner, Moon had had her fair share of 'confidential missions'._

" _Thanks." Belladonna handed Moon her scroll. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure Emerald and Mercury show up in this time frame and I obviously can't be there, so I need you to take care of it for me."_

 _Moon raised an eyebrow. "Why not your partner, Dragon?"_

 _Belladonna looked at her. "Please. Mertle would probably destroy my scroll and even if he didn't, Dragon would likely either ignore the scroll or go all out and destroy a section of the city."_

 _Moon nodded. "Makes sense."_

* * *

Eagle Dragon squawked indignantly.

"She _did_ have a point, buttercup," said Moon. The SDC president looked down at the city. "Oh look, we're here."

Eagle Dragon dived, she transformed and made a crater in the middle of the street. People stopped, staring. Moon landed elegantly besides her.

"See? Point."

Dragon slammed her fist into her hand, standing up. "Me and my partner are gonna have a _talk._ "

"Sure...now we do have a murder to stop?" Moon looked at the store nicely titled 'Tukson's Bookstore', its covers were drawn down over the windows.

Dragon snapped her fingers. The windows burst into flames and turned into sand. The covers turned to ashes.

Inside, Emerald froze and turned, Mercury stopped mid kick, falling to the floor, and Tukson fell from exhaustion.

"Seriously," said Moon, purposely putting a bored tone in her voice. "Who on Remnant attempts murder in broad daylight?"

Dragon threw Moon a pair on sunglasses. Moon caught them and put them on. Dragon put on her own pair of sunglasses.

Emerald paled. Mercury stood up.

"Come on, just because your semblance is useless doesn't mean these people can fight," he said with a smirk.

Mercury charged at Dragon, jumping into the air and kicking. Dragon lazily side-stepped. She grabbed Mercury's legs and slammed the teen into the ground.

"Dude, you are so _legged_ ," said Dragon. "By the way, I like to think we _can_ fight."

Mercury attempted to get up. Dragon sat on him. "Moon, wanna take on Emerald? I'll be right here."

"Ah, mff!" Mercury articulated, face still in the ground.

Moon smiled. "Gladly."

Not knowing what else to do, Emerald readied her weapons. She switched them to dust revolver mode and fired them at Moon.

Moon easily deflected the bullets with Myrtenaster, not bothering to return fire. She suddenly dashed towards Emerald, taking the girl by surprise. Myrtenaster stopped at Emerald's throat.

Emerald looked at Moon nervously. Moon smirked, swiping Myrtenaster away from Emerald. The green-haired girl felt a second of relief before a fire wave appeared. It slammed her into the wall of the bookstore, leaving her smoking. As an added measure, books fell on her.

Emerald moaned.

"Lamest. Fight. Ever," said Dragon.

"Well, what do you expect?" asked Moon. "I mean you managed to beat Mercury when you were seventeen."

Dragon grinned. "Feels like _ages_ ago."

Moon looked at the two incapacitated lackeys of Cinder. "...guess we're sending them to my personal prison."

* * *

Moon's Personal Prison on Her Personal Airship (she's rich)

The bars locked securely down on the two cells. Moon clapped her hands together in satisfaction and left, Dragon following close behind. The guards Moon had hired saluted on their way out.

Roman Torchwick crossed his arms. He looked across the drab steel room. "Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in."

Mercury glared.

Emerald frowned at Roman. "So here's where you've been...how's the experience?"

Roman grinned. "You _will_ be keeping me company, so you'll find out soon enough."

Mercury's glare intensified.

Emerald looked around the room, or at least as best she could when she was stuck behind bars. "Where's Neopolitan?"

"...they took her," said Roman.

Mercury tried to blow holes into Roman with his eyes for some reason.

Emerald gasped. "They took her?! Where?" _She_ certainly didn't want to be taken anywhere.

Torchwick shrugged. "Probably some place bad, knowing them."

* * *

Meanwhile...

Neo silently sneezed while in the middle of reading up on Grimm history (which she had been forced to do seeing as she had little to no education). She glared at the book now that she lost where she was.

Vernal snickered.

Neo threw the giant tome at the other maiden.

* * *

Emerald shivered.

Mercury was now trying to blow holes _through_ Roman and into the wall.

Emerald eyes wandered nervously. "You don't think _we'll_ be taken too?"

Roman slumped down on the prison's floor. "Who knows...who knows." He perked up. "But hey! At least we get rich people's leftover food!"

Mercury attempted to take down the airship with just his eyes.

"What on Remnant have they done to you?" wondered Emerald.

"No seriously, rich people have good food."

* * *

Blake stared. " _Illia?"_

Said girl was shifting nervously besides Belladonna and trying hard to control her changing colors. Illia and Belladonna had just gotten out of Ozpin's office, leaving the headmaster in want of some alcohol instead of his dark coffee in Juniper Coffee. They were visiting (as in Belladonna had forcefully dragged Illia along) Team RWBY's dorm.

"Who?" asked Ruby, bouncing up and down.

Weiss blinked herself awake, having decided to take a nice nap after having to deal with her broken sister all day.

Yang was mildly intrigued but didn't stop playing her video game on her scroll.

"This is Illia," introduced Belladonna. "From now on, she'll be a member of Team NVIM but for...reasons, I'm introducing her to you people first."

"Oh and she's a chameleon faunus."

Illia turned completely white. "You can't just _say_ that!"

"CUTE!" exclaimed Ruby, zooming to hug the faunus.

"Ahh!" Illia ran to the other side of the room. She had enough experience now (due to a certain red-caped woman) to act fast. It helped that Ruby oddly reminded her of said woman.

"Awwww," said a dejected Ruby.

"Too bad, sis," Yang commented. She decided to stop her video game for the time being.

Weiss decided that this didn't warrant her attention (she had gotten used to crazy stuff by now) and went back to sleep.

"Why is every human I get introduced to so weird?" asked Illia. "...now I want regular humans back...almost."

"I should also mention that she has a crush on Blake." Belladonna didn't really want awkward interactions with Illia and herself...that would be just weird to watch. And a little bit of revenge to her dimension's Illia wouldn't hurt would it?

"Say what?" asked Yang. She swallowed the information and grinned. "Blake's popular with the ladies!"

Blake had turned red. She dropped her book. "W-what?"

"Huh?" Ruby thought about it for a second. "That means Illia likes like Blake? In a kissy relationship way?"

Illia felt the urge to jump out of the really big window next to her. She was pretty sure she had turned completely pink too.

"Yes," said Belladonna. ...maybe she should hand Ruby 'Ninjas of Love' after all.

"Ooh! So that's how you know! Because you're Blake!"

"And the cat's out of the bag." Yang snickered. "That was a good one."

Everyone ignored her.

Illia opted to freak out about the fact that apparently Belladonna is Blake. "What?!"

Belladonna sighed. She looked up at the ceiling. "I tried _so_ hard. _So_ hard to have at least _one_ person who we meet for an extended period of time not know about the time/dimension-traveling thing."

Ruby poked her fingers together. "Sorry?" she tried.

Illia was having a minor heart attack at this point.

Yang wiggled her eyebrows. She looked at Illia and pointed a thumb at Belladonna. "Like what you see?"

"...U-uh…" articulated Illia.

Blake decided to crawl into bed. She would be joining Weiss in the 'sleep to ignore my problems' camp.

"Oh hey Belladonna!" said Dragon, coming into the room. She looked at Illia. "You came back with Illia?"

Moon let out a very slow breath. "...don't tell me, Red decided to get rid of the White Fang?"

"Actually, she decided to take over the White Fang," corrected Belladonna.

Moon face-palmed. "Great."

"You're a hypocrite," Belladonna pointed out.

The SDC president of a month or so didn't really have a counter to that.

"So I heard you didn't trust me with a scroll," said Dragon, fake-distractedly.

"Yes," Belladonna didn't deny it as she knew it would be in vain. She took Illia by the shoulder. "Now I have to go introduce her to her teammates, talk to you later!"

She speed walked passed the Fall Maiden and hurried down the hall with Illia in tow. Belladonna knew she was outmatched when she saw it, and Dragon had a whole lot more raw power and intuition than she did. Luckily for her though, Belladonna was unmatched in planning.

* * *

Neo stared. Vernal stared. Bandit #1 and Bandit #2 blinked. Illia was starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Bandit with a name that starts with an I that I can't remember," said Belladonna. "You're fired."

"Huh?" Bandit #1 said.

"Please talk to Dragon about returning to your bandit camp. Thank you for your time." At least this way, Dragon would be distracted for a while.

"...Yes, ma'am?" A confused Bandit #1 walked to the door and exited the room.

"Noooooo! You were my partner!" cried Bandit #2. "We did everything together!"

Illia felt a little bad for the guy. A _little,_ he was still human after all.

"Illia, meet Neo," introduced Belladonna. "She's your leader. She's mute most of the time. She's your best friend in the future. So it shouldn't be hard to get along."

Ilia blinked. "Mute most of the time?" And her best friend was a human?

"Don't make her angry," advised Belladonna.

Neo held up her middle finger and nodded. She was supposed to be Illia's best friend? Illia was becoming worried about the amount of friends she had in the future.

"And this is Vernal...she likes playing with kidnapped people and has anger issues."

"I do not like playing with kidnapped people! I don't even get kidnapped people a lot!"

"Oh and I guess there's the bandit. You don't really need to know him."

"Right…" said Illia.

Belladonna looked at NV_M. "And this is Illia, she's a chameleon faunus and is really bad at romance."

Neo held up her scroll and pointed it at Vernal _. 'Anything's better than her -'_

"Why you-!" Vernal blasted lightning at Neo. Neo surrounded herself with wind.

She stuck her tongue out at Vernal.

"Huh, she's been getting over her Maidenphobia," noted Belladonna. "I guess Dragon _was_ right, they're good for each other."

Illia had turned white, something that seems to be happening a lot lately. She watched as the dorm slowly got destroyed. There went a table. Oops, goodbye curtains. Well, looks like no one was going to be sleeping on beds anymore. ...or the floor for that matter.

Bandit #2, used to his two teammate's shenanigans, walked out of the room to get Professor Goodwitch...again in the same day.

Belladonna patted Illia's back. "Have fun at Beacon."

 _...I think I'm going to die._

* * *

Cinder hit the White Fang soldier in the face. She threw a fireball at the wall. Salem was _not_ going to be happy. And she was going to be the one to get the punishment!

"I WILL KILL YOU, WHOEVER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!"

This being the giant X marks over Emerald, Mercury, Roman, and Neopolitan's faces.

Poor Cinder was a bit on the unhinged side.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: This chapter was...okay. My brother said it was good but eh, I thought it was okay… On the other hand, I had a lot of fun on this Omake. I feel like doing a Summoning Gone Wrong' for each of future RWBY now! Sadly there was no new episode of RWBY to...critique.**

 **Bro is beta, like always.**

* * *

 **Omake XVIII: Weiss's Summoning Gone Wrong (R)WBY**

Weiss had just slammed the door on Whitley. _Finally,_ some peace and quiet and no annoying little brother. She concentrated on her summoning, closing her eyes. A giant glyph appeared at the center of the room. It started turning...and a light enveloped the room.

Weiss opened her eyes...and blinked. "W-who?"

It was a woman wearing an eyepatch with a rose insignia on it and a red cloak.

"...Weiss? Why are you seventeen again? I thought you hated puberty."

 _It spoke! …wait, what?_ "What?"

The woman looked around. "Actually, where am I? I was just taking a nap with Blake."

 _What?_

Klein, the ever faithful butler opened the door. He gaped. "Uh…Ms. Schnee, why are you with an unusual woman?"

"Oh hey I know you! You're Weiss's favorite butler!"

* * *

That Yang and Weiss Reunion

"Alright, well, subtlety is out," sighed Weiss. She shivered, thinking about who she was about to summon.

She made a summoning glyph. Out came a familiar eyepatched woman.

"Mini-Weiss? How's it- Oh." Red, as Weiss had decided to dub future Ruby, looked around. "I was wondering when you'd get kidnapped."

"That's not something you wonder!" snapped Weiss. "And shouldn't you tell me this stuff?!"

"Mom?" choked out Yang, all emotion filled. ...that was actually really awkward considering her real mother was only a few feet away.

"Summer?" asked Raven incredulously.

"Wrong Rose, people. I'm Ruby."

Yang blinked. She was pretty confident her little sister wasn't older looking than her.

"Just get me out of the cage." muttered Weiss.

"Eh." Red extended her giant scythe and cut the cage in half. The top slid off, landing on the ground unceremoniously.

"Thank you." Weiss made a glyph and landed next to Yang, who was still stupefied.

Red jumped over the bottom of the cage easily. Bandits backed away from Crescent Rose.

" _Ruby_?" said Yang dumbly.

Red ruffled her hair. "Awww. Who's the older sister now?"

"What on Remn-"

"She's an older version of Ruby from the future," cut in Weiss. "...don't ask."

"Anyway, what are you doing here?"

"Huh? Oh right." Yang gestured at Raven. "That's my mom and she can take us to Ruby...the other Ruby."

Raven put on a disgusted face. "Ugh."

"I always thought your mom has an attitude," said Red. "Well, I guess that's pretty obvious. She _did_ try to kill us."

""What?!"" exclaimed both Yang and Weiss.

Raven scrunched up her face. "Huh." She didn't sound all that surprised.

"It was _really_ awkward," remembered Red. "It was the first time I met her too. Oh but it turned out she really did love Yang in the end so eh."

Yang looked at Raven.

"I _don't_ ," she denied vehemently.

"And I heard from Neo afterwards that you tried to kill her when she was trying to kill Yang." Red frowned. "That was a really weird sentence."

"Wait-your _Mom_ kidnapped me?" asked Weiss. "She seems like a real crack case too."

"Hey!" exclaimed Vernal.

Yang looked at Raven incredulously. "You _kidnapped_ her?"

"...man, you gotta step up your parenting, Raven," said Red. "Even if you're super overprotective, you don't kidnap your daughter's future girlfriend."

""WHAT?"" exclaimed Yang and Weiss. They quickly stepped away from each other.

Raven twitched. "You have the wrong idea."

"I don't think I do."

"She just conveniently landed on my doorstep."

"Sssurrre."

"You're just as annoying as Summer."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I could never stand her."

"Really? You sing her praises all the time in the future."

Raven threw her hands in the air. "Vernal. Give the girl her weapon back."

Vernal complied.

"You three. In my tent. Now."

"Why?" asked Yang.

"The sooner I get rid of you all the better."

Raven went into her tent.

Yang turned to Weiss. "Sorry about-"

Weiss dropped Myrtenaster and hugged Yang tightly. "I missed you so much."

Yang hugged back. "I've missed you too."

A click resounded through the girl's silent embrace. They looked towards the source to find Red taking pictures of them with her scroll.

"What are you _doing?"_ asked Weiss.

"Recording when it all started!" said Red with a grin. "Yang wasn't kidding when she said it was 'heartwarming' and 'filled with sunshine' and 'that's when I knew'."

"I'll give it to her and Weiss as an anniversary gift!...or wedding gift, they should really get on that soon."

Weiss jumped out of Yang's hands. "You were serious about the girlfriend thing?!"

"No duh."

"...way to ruin the moment," said Yang.

* * *

 **Omake XIX: The Quickest Harem Ever**

 **By: TheSetupMage**

Ozpin, Oobleck, Renora and Team CFVY were seated around a table, one floor below the maiden's chamber.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have gathered here because we share a common interest."

"Quite, dear Oz. For you see, we two have begun extraordinary research into a secretive project that could revolutionize all of Remnant."

"First, though, we have potential members on the way, so if we'd like to hold on..."

*ding!*

"So that's when I said 'now that's a katana!' Oh, hey guys!"

Red walked through the elevator doors, accompanied by a blushing Ruby gripping tightly to her skirt and scythe, and a nauseous-looking, semi-erect Qrow and Ironwood.

"*ahem* Well, perturbing as that experience sounds-to all of us- perhaps we can get on with the meeting?" implored a clearly shell-shocked Ozpin.

"What is the meaning of this, Ozpin? I'm a busy man, I don't have time to drop everything and listen to a young girl's fantasies."

"One, I'm only five or so years younger than you, and B, I still have the corpses to prove it."

"You still have...? A-anyways, back to the meeting. In fact, this will calm us all down well enough. If everybody could have a drink of the vial in front of you?"

"*sniff* I don't smell booze in here, Oz..."

"You would dare to defile such a substance with that impure /bile/ you call a drink?"

Everyone looked shocked at Oobleck, save for Ozpin, who merely took his cane and with a "Hush now, drink up, it'll all be alright...", he tipped Qrow's vial into his mouth. Everyone else did so, if slowly amongst the more suspicious members of the gathering, save for Ren, who had also seized Nora's out of apprehension. Seeing all of their faces turn to sheer bliss, however, made him reconsider.

"Ah, why did I spend so long on that shit?! This is what life is all about! Life is beautiful! Life is joyous! Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Calay! I'm the luckiest man in Remnant!" Skipped Qrow, who quickly threw away his flask. It let out a single 70% proof tear.

"So this is what enlightenment feels like..."

"Sweet job, bro."

"You get top marks from Team CFVY, teach! Especially Velvet!" giggled the team leader, pointing to a Velvet, slumbering peacefully with her ears drooped in front.

"How did you do this, Ozpin? How?! I won't tell anyone, I swear! I'll keep it as quiet as the relics, as Salem, as your wacky birdmen!"

"Put simply, James, you cannot do this. It is pure fall maiden extract, synthesised through Oobleck's patented dust-coffee, and brewed using the semblance and techniques of district attorney Godot."

"Hey, teach, you got anymore of that? Cause I have an idea."

"No, and if your idea was to pour it back into Oobleck's flask and duplicate it using a reel of Velvet's camera, I had the same thought. Well, we'll have to try it another time."

"Wait! You do know what happens when you give Nora coffee, right?"

"No, Miss Red, pray tell what will happen?"

"Her semblance utilises the energy from the coffee and grants her reality distortion powers. But with this coffee, and with this state of zen, I have an idea..."

*ding*

"So I said 'Now that's a katana!' Hey guys! I'm back!"

"Was that your plan?"

In tow behind Red was Cinder Fall, all glowing, carmine-clad, and beautiful.

Oh, and bloodied, armless, and throwing up.

"Yup! Oh, and Cinder, you could be next..."

At this, the Fall Maiden's legs gave out, forcing her into a pile of her own miscellany.

"Come on! We'll give you a nice wash up, then we'll leave you to be the evil Fall Maiden you are, in peace."

"O-oh, thank...you..."

"By milking you dry and drinking your essence in the form of coffee. Blend #107-F, to be precise. The 'F' stands for 'Fall', by the way."

"...smeg..."

And with that, the entirety of Remnant fell in love with Cinder Fall, who had had Amber's soul put in her anyways. Amber seemed cool with it, though, after a quick cuppa joe.

* * *

 **Omake XX: The Failed Ones (In Volume Five)**

 **By: TheSetupMage**

"So, Qrow, you and Auntie Raven can turn into birds?"

"Yup, kiddo."

"Cool! So, can Ozpin give anyone these powers? Uncle...Qrow? Are you ok?"

Omygoddidisaysomethingimsosorry!"

Qrow had begun violently shaking at this point, before necking his flask.

"Don't worry about it, you don't need to know about them... Never..."

-Raven's encampment, Anima-

"Leader! We have word!"

"Let him in!"

The man, 7 foot tall and 4 foot wide, built like a brickhouse if a brickhouse were a T15-steel Beringel, dove in. He broke down crying, throwing off a coat that was clearly inspired by Rorschach.

"Get a hold of yourself, man! What happened?"

"You weren't there, man! There was no food... Everything was dead... And then Pink, and White."

"Vernal, we GTFOD."

"But why, leader?"

"Let me tell you the tale of two people so vile that if you're faced with a choice between serving them or Salem, and you lack the means to commit suicide, pick Salem. Their names...are Pidgeon and Flamingo."

The doorman, who was about to pick up the 'Rorschach-inspired' coat, suddenly found literally anything else to do.

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Mobydicks: Thanks! And Happy New Year to you now. :)**

 **knight7572: I'll address that in a future chapter. I don't wanna spoil anything for now.**

 **merendinoemilliano: That Omake should be next chapter :). Oh and addressing your comment on 'Stars Never End'. Pyrrha only faked her transcripts, nothing else. Plz tell me if you think of a way to make that clearer. It seems like a few people interpreted it that way.**

 **TheSetupMage: this is just crack on crack now…**

 **Yuhitsu: Yup!**

 **Dev the snake faunus: sorry Shadowclaw. I didn't know you didn't enjoy cars…but do enjoy your Grimm meals!**

 **snoogenz: ...you are at liberty to use your own imagination.**

 **Xyander64: :)**

 **Firestar001: Will do!**

* * *

 **Suggestions and Constructive Critisicm are always always lovely =)**

 **Please Review, Favorite, and Follow!**


	17. New Future Past

**Chp XVI: New Future Past**

 **Disclaimer: RWBY? RT? Not mine!**

 **"Homework is redundant-nuff said." ~ ARK**

* * *

"..." Red was feeling incredibly bored. The important members of the White Fang had all been locked away on Moon's personal prison, so check. Red had announced the new White Fang, so check.

...though Moon did say something about the fact that she did an awful job on her announcement.

Nonsense. It was _fine._

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _Moon put a hand to her face._

" _Look, nobody will notice the change in the White Fang unless you announce it to the whole world," she said into her scroll._

"You should have more faith in people, I'm sure they'll notice," _said Ruby._

 _Moon rolled her eyes. "You sound like Ozpin."_

"Ouch. No thank you."

" _Did people ever realize that the Atlas military units were hacked into during the Fall of Beacon?" asked Moon. She answered her own question. "No. Because Cinder and Salem never took responsibility."_

"...good point. Give me one sec."

 _Moon tapped her feet on the ground. "Surrrrre."_

"Oh, and turn on the news. I promise it'll be good."

 _The call ended._

" _...my idiot senses are tingling," muttered Moon. She turned on the news._

 _Surprisingly, nothing happened for a few minutes. Just a normal news office with the reporter talking to the camera._

" _Huh, maybe for once the dunce didn't do anything-"_

 _A red-hooded figure suddenly appeared in front of the reporter._

 _Moon face-palmed. "...stupid."_

" _Hello people of Remnant!" said on-screen Red. She pulled off her hood to reveal a Grimm mask that covered the top half of her face._

'Well, at least she didn't show her face,' _thought Moon._

" _I just took over the White Fang a while ago. I would like to say-uh...this organization will become peaceful again!"_

 _Red disappeared, leaving red rose petals in her wake._

 _Belladonna choose that exact moment to walk into Moon's room._

" _Illia seems to be...adjusting, so I-" Belladonna looked at Moon, who was groaning loudly with her hands in her hair._

 _The cat-faunus logically concluded that either Plan Arkos was going terribly wrong (likely), or someone, probably Dragon, had done something stupid (also likely), or Moon was pissed at something, anything that had caught her attention (just as likely)._

" _What happened this time?"_

 _Moon turned to Belladonna. "Your girlfriend just appeared on the news to announce her takeover of the White Fang."_

" _...right."_

" _As the two most responsible members of Team RWBY (other name still pending), I feel like we should be putting a leash on our...less responsible teammates," said Moon._

 _Belladonna was already gone by that point._

 _A clone emotionally recited Belladonna's thoughts._

" _Who decided to use underhanded practices to take over the SDC again?"_

" _How did you kn- ninja, right."_

 _Moon was in fact, wrong. Belladonna just knew that she would resort to those tactics._

" _And for your information, it was underhanded practices on an underhanded company!"_

 _Which_ obviously _made it right._

* * *

So that was something. Red perked up when Belladonna returned to the throne*ahem* _meeting_ room.

Belladonna tossed Red a bag. Red caught it and pulled out a hamburger.

"...this can't be the best you could find."

The cat-faunus shrugged. "It was what they were serving in the cafeteria."

Red examined the hamburger. "No wonder why the foot soldiers were always so weak. If _I_ had to eat this stuff everyda-"

Belladonna stuffed the hamburger into Red's mouth. "Just eat."

"Mm! Mph!"

Red hacked and hit her chest when she managed to swallow the 'food' item.

"Oum! *wheeze* I deserve a kiss after that. *cough*."

Belladonna gave her a quick peck on the forehead.

"That can't count!"

"Too bad," dismissed Belladonna. She looked at Red. "What are you going to do now with the White Fang?"

"...well, I already took away all their weapons and they have a _huge_ armory, no jokes."

"I know, I visited it a couple of times."

"Oh right, terrorist past."

"I'd rather not you word it that way."

"Mm. So I did that... I think most of the people who don't like the new way of doing things already quit or I kicked them out."

Belladonna frowned. "They could start another organization, that would be bad."

She shivered. Belladonna had enough of organizations to last at least nine lives.

Red shrugged. "We'd deal with it then."

"And how are you going to advocate for faunus rights?"

"By showing everyone the faunus are just the same as us," said Red, suddenly serious. "There are young members of the White Fang, we could start an exchange program."

"That's surprisingly well thought out."

Red wrapped an arm around Belladonna. "Course! I wouldn't not think it out when stuff is this important."

She nuzzled Belladonna on the neck. "...besides, faunus are adorable."

"And you just had to ruin it."

Red raised an eyebrow. "Say...know any responsible, not evil, faunus-supporting or faunus, unoccupied person?"

"Huh. Well, I just so happened together the chance to talk to a certain faunus who's bookstore got destroyed recently. How convenient."

* * *

Dragon barged into Team RWBY's dorm. "I just realized something!"

Weiss dropped her vial into her beaker. A tick mark appeared on her head. "I just want to get something done around here!"

She glared at Dragon. "And it's right after classes, shouldn't teachers be preparing for tomorrow's class?"

"...you just encouraged her. What made you think that was a good idea?" said Blake, looking past her book.

"Nah, I was planning on going-"

"-into the forest and capturing some giant Grimm anyway," finished Yang.

"What I said," said Dragon, walking up to her younger self.

They high-fived.

Ruby blinked. "Yang-ception."

"Oh Oum," sighed Weiss. "This isn't good for my mental health."

"So why are you here…?" asked Blake. "Shouldn't you be with Moon?"

Weiss shivered. She didn't need a reminder of her not future self (she refuses to acknowledge they have any connection besides family name and semblance) and Dragon's relationship.

"Eh. She's preoccupied with Arkos...I don't want to be near that anytime soon."

"What's Arkos?" asked Ruby.

"Something that's never going to happen," said Weiss simply.

"What. Because Jaune has an obsession with you?" Blake asked.

Weiss groaned. "Well there _is_ that. Among other things, Pyrrha is just too good for a person like Jau-"

The room exploded in rainbow colored dust.

"Not again!" complained Weiss, swatting at the dust.

"Hey, I wonder future who we're gonna get!" exclaimed Ruby giddily, as if this event was a gatcha of some sort.

"...please don't be Illia, please don't be Illia, please don't be Illia," muttered Blake repeatedly. She did _not_ need that problem when she was already actively avoiding Present Illia.

A rush of wind blew open the window and out the dust.

Standing in the middle of the dorm was a man wearing a white lab coat and a blue optic lense on one eye. His blonde hair was slicked back, completely the handsome, possibly insane scientist look.

Dragon grinned a shit-eating grin.

"I think we just got the one way ticket to Arkos."

The man rubbed at his one uncovered eye. "I swear, I'm not getting enough sleep. Hallucinations aren't healthy."

"...Coco's gonna kill me."

Dragon punched the man in the guts.

Team RWBY stared. The man didn't really react.

"...hello Yang, why are you in my hallucination? Huh, maybe you _aren't_ a hallucination, in that case, welcome back."

"Aw man...I forgot how different you are from your teenage self. I almost expected you to fly across the room screaming like a little girl from my hit."

The man rolled his eyes. "Please don't remind me."

"Oh and you're not in a hallucination, apparently we've traveled to a different dimension where everything started later….or something, ask Re-uh..Ruby or Blake on that."

"...I see. I'm worried about how strained my brain is now."

"No-stupid science people!" Dragon dragged Weiss in front of the man. "See? Visible."

She poked Weiss.

"Hey!"

"Touchable! ...and accurate."

The man leaned in much too close for Weiss's comfort. He pinched her nose.

"W-wha?!"

"...alright, I won't _rule out_ dimension jumping. Well, only one way to test it."

The man walked up the window and jumped out. A loud crash and disturbed birds screeching were heard afterwards.

Dragon shook her head. "Well, Jaune only gets more crazy as time passes."

""""JAUNE?!""" All four members of Team RWBY shouted in disbelief.

"What!?" exclaimed Jaune, slamming open the door. "Is it an emergency?!"

The rest of Team JNPR looked into the room.

"Wrong Jaune," said Ruby.

Jaune blinked. "There's more than one Jaune? I thought my name was unique!"

Future Jaune suddenly appeared at the windowsill.

"It is. Because it's a spin on a girl's name," he informed his younger self. He frowned. "Yang, I believe you."

"I'm not gonna ask how jumping out a window proves anything," said Dragon. "Please don't answer me."

She didn't want to be stuck listening to a two hour rant on 'the scientific properties of window jumping'.

"Well, since you asked so nicely," muttered Future Jaune. He dragged himself into the dorm. Then he started picking out leaves and sticks from his hair and lab coat. "I already had an elaborate lecture and everything too..."

Future Jaune brushed off his lab coat. He narrowed his eyes at Team JNPR. He walked up to Pyrrha...and pointed a finger at her, almost touching her face. He leaned forward.

"You. Are. An. Ass."

"U-uh?" Pyrrha stammered. "H-huh?"

Future Jaune flicked her on her forehead. "You know the wrong time to kiss someone and confess your feelings? When you're _going off to die._ This is called _common sense._ "

"Oh and locking said someone in a freaking locker and sending them off to the city is also a completely dick move."

"I-I-"

"As future reference, just don't die."

"I don't think telling someone that they _did_ die is very nice," said Moon, appearing at the doorway.

"It was necessary."

Moon chucked her pen gun at Future Jaune. He caught it with ease.

"...this is heavier than I thought it would be. What is _in_ here?"

"It's also a gun," supplied Dragon.

"That makes a lot of sense," said Future Jaune. "Of course it's also a gun, why wouldn't it be? Everything's also a gun these...future days."

"Wait. Timeout. Pause." Jaune made an x sign with his hands. "What's going on here?!"

He pointed at Future Jaune. "Who even is he?!"

"Your future other-dimensional self, I assume," said Future Jaune, standing up.

"He's...different," Ren noted.

"W-wha?!" Jaune had personally always imagined his future self being an awesome buff guy, maybe even wielding a giant greatsword...not this.

"Ooooo! Hey, hey what's future JNPR like? Are we kickass?" exclaimed Nora.

Ren muffled her.

"He just said Pyrrha _died_ ," whispered Ren.

Nora shut her mouth, eyes widening.

Future Jaune sighed, running his hand through his hair. "And this has to happen when I was already way over it."

"Well, at least it didn't happen when you were depressed," said Moon. "Wouldn't _that_ be problematic?"

"Gee, thanks for the insight." Future Jaune paused. "Hey! Do you know how utterly horrifying your paperwork is?! Weiss, at least hire a group of people to do your work before you leave! Or even keep your summonings there!"

"First, our leave was completely unplanned," said Moon. "Second, call me Moon, we don't need name confusions. And third...who's taking care of my company now that you're here?"

"What? No 'thank you for keeping my company afloat'? Thanks, princess."

Moon twitched at the nickname. "I prefer _queen._ Just as a reminder that you work for _me._ "

"I know you'd never fire me," dismissed Future Jaune. "And I don't know...Penny?"

Moon and Dragon shivered.

"Oh dear…" said Moon. "Penny is on my list of people who should never be the leader of anything...right next to Re-Ruby." Welp, that didn't exactly work out.

"Huh? But I'm the leader of the team!" pointed out Ruby.

" _Besides_ anything relating to huntsmen," corrected Moon. Red and she suppose Ruby, both have unnatural amounts of charisma when they needed it but...actually knowing what they're doing? Not much.

"And we're using code names?" asked Future Jaune.

"Yup! Call me Dragon," said Dragon. "And see. Belladonna? It is a code name!" Nevermind that Belladonna wasn't in the room, her younger self was.

"Belladonna?" asked Future Jaune incredulously. "How uncreative can a person get? Heck, she's an author for Oum's sake."

"I'm pretty sure Red picked it out for her," said Dragon.

"...and _Red?"_ Future Jaune looked at Dragon and Moon. "That's…"

Moon raised an eyebrow. "You try creating a fake name."

"Sure, call me Hohenheim."

"Stupid smart people!" Dragon threw her hands in the air.

"That's contradictory," pointed out Hohenheim.

"Does it have to be so...long?" asked Moon.

Hohenheim shrugged. "I like it. Deal with it."

"What…" said Jaune quietly. "Pyrrha…passed away?" He addressed the giant nevermore in the room.

Pyrrha grimaced.

Hohenheim looked at Jaune. "It won't happen this time," he said confidently. "We'll kick Cinder's fat ass and send her flying so high tha-"

"Give me back my pen," Moon cut in.

Hohenheim gave her back her pen.

Dragon put a hand on Hohenheim's shoulder. "Say...I kinda went way off track with what I realized like twenty minutes ago...but the dance is coming up in two weeks!"

All of Team RWBY paled in realization.

Moon gained a sinister glint in her eyes. "...Jaune, you must wear a dress."

Jaune, who had still been in shock, jolted. "What?!"

"And don't be afraid to pull out your moves!" added Dragon.

Hohenheim let out a long suffering sigh. "I swear, you guys _never_ forget that."

"It went viral!" exclaimed Dragon.

"...I don't want to know," decided Weiss.

Blake nodded in agreement.

Moon frowned. "I always wondered how Team JNPR was so well choreographed with their dance. Mind sharing?"

"Corporate secret," said Hohenheim smoothly.

"I suppose it doesn't matter that much." Moon rubbed her hands together and smirked. "But...I need you to make your younger self and Pyrrha dance together."

Hohenheim's head swiveled to the younger Team JNPR. "I don't know...it feels like cheating."

"It isn't cheating when you two are _technically_ two seperate people," pushed Moon. "Besides, don't you wish you gave it a try?"

"...yes," admitted Hohenheim, getting on the train. He trained his full attention on his younger self. "Jaune, Pyrrha likes you in a romantic way."

Jaune's jaw dropped to the ground. He glanced at Pyrrha, who had turned just as red as her hair, then looked back at Hohenheim.

"WHAAAAAAT?!" could be heard throughout the entirety of Beacon.

"...now I know why everyone called me asexual."

* * *

"Right, so just follow these guidelines," said Red, handing Tukson a scroll Belladonna had typed up.

Tukson scrolled down the guidelines. "...this is nearly twenty pages long. ...and no teaming up with evil organizations or creepy white ladies?"

"We're just making sure the White Fang doesn't end up like it was before," said Belladonna evenly. She was a bit offended considering _she_ was the one to type the guidelines.

"Okay?...and why are you two leaving?"

"Well, I kinda feel bad for suddenly handing back Glynda her job," said Red sheepishly.

"I still need to save the world from the next generation of illiterate people," Belladonna said flatly.

"Oh and the dance is coming up! I wanna enjoy it this time!" added Red.

"...I forgot about that," admitted Belladonna.

Tukson stared in disbelief. _These_ were the people who effortlessly took over the White Fang?

* * *

"Guys, I just learned about something!" exclaimed Vernal, running into Team NVIM's dorm.

' _Great, you need to learn more things.'_ typed Neo.

Vernal threw a lightning bolt at Neo. Illia quickly faded into the background. She was _not_ getting involved. Bandit #2 kept on doing his homework for the day.

"Not that type of learning! News learning!"

' _What.'_

"There's a school dance in two weeks!"

' _What?!'_

Illia turned white. "What?!"

Bandit #2 frowned. "Who are you three going to the dance with?"

Vernal, Neo, and Illia looked at each other, panic settling in.

' _We are so fucking doomed,'_ summed up Neo nicely.

* * *

Salem was doing what she always did to relieve stress...torturing innocent animals. Sadly, the humans she did have were too valuable to torture and Grimm made little to no reaction.

She shredded the giant hamster to pieces.

"Ugh. Why does everyone _hate_ me so much?" She glowered at her scroll that was sitting to the side.

"I'm only trying to end humanity!"

She killed another cute, innocent animal.

"..I just got a great idea."

* * *

 **Author's Notes: So a day late and a lot less great then the last chapter...joy. I think I might have to move updates to once a week soon. (SCHOOL! Why must you bury me in homework?!) So we'll see what happens, I guess. (...and yes. Hohenheim is a reference to FMA)**

 **Beta is to brother.**

* * *

 **Omake XXI: Weiss's Summoning Gone Wrong R(W)BY**

Weiss had just slammed the door on Whitley. _Finally,_ some peace and quiet and no annoying little brother. She concentrated on her summoning, closing her eyes. A giant glyph appeared in the center of the room. It started turning ...and a light enveloped the living space.

Weiss opened her eyes...and blinked. "H-huh?"

Standing elegantly at the center of the now fading glyph was a white haired woman wearing a white business attire.

"...seeing a younger version of myself and being the product of a faulty summoning was never on my bucket list."

 _It can talk? ...wait._ "Excuse me?!"

"Very true," the woman nodded. She looked around. "I never thought I'd be _here_ again."

 _...what?_

Klein, the ever faithful butler opened the door. He gaped. "Uh...Ms. Schnee, w-"

"Yes?" said the woman. She blinked. "Oh. Hello, Klein. Which Ms. Schnee did you mean?"

* * *

That Yang and Weiss Reunion

"Alright, well, subtlety is out," sighed Weiss. She turned pale, thinking about the woman she would summon.

She made a summoning glyph. A familier white haired, woman appeared.

"Hello my younger self, what do you need thi-" Moon, as Weiss decided to call her, realized where they were. "...I never enjoyed being kidnapped either.'

"Then you should tell me this would happen!" snapped Weiss.

Moon shrugged. In a few quick slashes from Mytremaster, the cage was in shambles.

Weiss let out an exasperated breath and hurried towards Yang.

"Who is _that?"_ asked Yang. " _What_ is that?"

"It doesn't matter," said Weiss quickly.

Moon walked up to them. "I'm her older, better self."

Yang blinked. "What?"

"You're not!" denied Weiss. "You're-you're-"

Raven scrunched up her face. "Ugh. We were having a conversation here?"

"Oh hello Raven," said Moon pleasantly. "How has your day been going?"

Raven glowered. "It was great until _this_ happened."

"Who is she?" whispered Weiss to Yang.

Yang sighed. "...my mom."

"Your mom kidnapped me?!"

"What?!" Yang looked at Raven incredulously. "You kidnapped her?!"

"Well, I suppose it all turned out for the better, in hindsight," said Moon. "Otherwise, I would probably have never found my team...seriously, how lucky."

Raven gritted her teeth. "It wasn't supposed to be _lucky."_

"Did you know I just had tea with you a week ago?" asked Moon. "It was very pleasant. I had coconut juice, of course. You had tea though, you like black tea _a lot_."

Raven twitched. "You shouldn't know that."

"I should, considering I'm engaged to your daughter."

Raven's eyes widened. " _What?"_

"WHAT?" Yang exclaimed.

Weiss covered her face. She hated it when she embarrassed herself.

"Welp, why don't you hand Mytremaster back to my younger, less extravagant self and we have a nice discussion on the secrets of the world? ...with tea of course."

Raven twitched.

* * *

 **Omake XXII: Qrow, You are a Horrible Father (Part II)**

 **Requested By: merendinoemilliano**

"Ugh…" Qrow sweared, he had the weirdest dream of an eyepatched older Ruby beating him up. And why was he aching everywhere? He opened his eyes. The temperature in the room suddenly seemed to drop fifty degrees.

Leaning on the wall of what Qrow now knew was the school infirmary was an eyepatched woman. _Oh shit._ And it was only the two of them too.

"Huh, you're awake," said the older version of Ruby. "And you're probably confused. Call me Red for the time being."

Red sighed. "You have no idea how annoying it was to explain to my younger self about her _real_ parentage." The woman grinned sadistically. "On the other hand, she's _not_ happy. And an unhappy me is not a good thing."

Qrow felt a shiver down his spine. "Uh...so you know then."

Red gave him a deadpan look. "No duh."

"Kiddo, you pack quite a punch, hahaha…" tried Qrow.

"I'm twenty-five, don't call me _kiddo_." Red stretched. "I'm just here to tell you that you suck as a dad."

"...thanks?"

"And you should try better with Ruby, she deserves it." Red walked to the door. She suddenly turned back.

"If you disappoint, prepare to have every single bone in your body broken. Tata. Have a nice day." With that, the silver eyed woman left. She even whistled a tune on the way out.

"...I'm so doomed," said Qrow to the wall.

* * *

 **Omake XXIII: We Are Le-Jaune**

 **Written By: TheSetupMage**

Takes place during Season 1, Jaunedice/Forever Fall Arc

"Jauney-boy! Hah, here we are, back again! You'd think Teach would give you a little rest, but I guess she likes seeing a weakling like you beaten up as much as I do!"

"*sigh*...I guess so, Cardin."

"Now what's say we give the people a show, huh? Don't hold back on me!"

And with that, the two fighters rushed at one another. Jaune got in a grazing blow, shaving 3% of Cardin's aura. Cardin got in a strike to Jaune's bonce, crushing it completely.

"W-what? I-I... I did-didn't know your aura was that weak, Jaune!-ey boy! H-heh heh!" Cardin let out, before violently vomiting, taking his aura down another 10% to heal him. Laughing, all throughout.

"Oh, I guess my aura was pretty weak."

All eyes fell to Jaune, having spawned in the middle of the crowd, before he got onstage.

"Hey, that hoodie does look awful. Why didn't you say anything, Pyrrha?"

"I-I..."

"And Cardin! Stop bawling your eyes out, or your... digestive fluids. And you've got a little bone on your-there, there you've got it, you're good."

"But how? How can you be so casual about this? I KILLED YOU!"

"Yeah, and such shoddy workmanship, no thoughts about cleaning it up! Oh, and I just want to say: you were right. I am a weakling. I'm just 100 more weaklings than you expected! And I'm a little miffed about that whole 'caving in my head' deal, as well as the whole 'being a jackass' thing, but hey, Cardin, since, we're all friends here, I'll give you character development, by my sword, for free. But remember! You owe me one!"

Cardin barely got his mace up to block the overhead strike, but failed to block Jaune's sheath being thrown from point-blank, or the upwards strike to his face that followed. After the 12% this cost Cardin, he responded with a fire blast to Jaune's chest.

"Aaaah! Aaawgh! Aah. Ah. Oh no. Screaming. Gasp. And now I die. And scene." Remarked Jaune, from the middle of the crowd, dramatically flopping in perfect choreography. "Come on, Cardin! My acting wasn't that bad that you needed to start vomiting again! And if it makes you feel better, I don't know why it spawns me in the middle of a crowd dense enough to hide my respawn. Actually, we don't have a high enough budget for onscreen respawn yet, so I just answered my own question. We don't get /that/ kind of budget until the Maya engine."

"Wh-what are you talking abouuut!? Just die already! Just dieeee! I don't wanna kill you agaaiin! I don't wanna! I don't! I don't! I don't!" At this point, Cardin had begun to smack the floor with his mace, triggering the dust to cause many explosions, before sobbing on the floor.

"Jeez, that's sad. Can we finish up here so we can move on to the next scene?"

Thanks to the growing scent of ash, burning flesh, an blood, Cardin vomited hard enough to pass out.

"Thank you! Oh, and Cardin? Have a gift." Was all Jaune said before falling on his sword.

"Mister Arc wins by knockout. Since this is the last session of the day, we can afford Mr. Winchester the luxury of waking up at his own leisure. Just note, Mister Arc, that should such unscrupulous tactics and behaviour be used again... It should provide an entertaining view for the students as to the life of a huntsman."

"I'm just terrified of what's going to happen-outside. Thanks, thanks, Glynda. Cheers for that."

"It was either that or clean up the mess."

"Don't we have people for that?"

"Yes, me. I do it for the finances, the PR, the headmaster, the council, and the other professors, so why not actual cleaning, too?"

"Jeez, I'd rather die."

-Outside of JNPR dorm-

"Well guys, if you've got any killing to do, now's the time!...Guys?"

Team RWBY looked at each other before Ruby whirled around, gashing his throat open with Crescent Rose, and carrying the body onto her bunk, cuddling it. Jaune then came from what was meticulously out of camerashot, to have his windpipe perforated by Weiss, who proceeded to doodle a large 'W' in his forehead, and lay claim to another corpse, adding "Don't think anything of this, you dolt!" before he responded with "What? You clearly plan on delivering a corpse to Arthur Watts, the former Atlesian Scientist, right? Great joke! Guess I should call you Snow Elf instead!".

Jaune #6 or so had only a brief glimmer of existence before his mouth was stuffed with the tail of a salmon. Despite that not being how this works, the salmon duplicated into the new Jaune, too. He got a peck on the cheek and a glazed look for his troubles, along with the promise of more to come. Whether that was a good thing, he was still wondering as she locked eyes with him whilst carrying her bound salmon and Jaune. He would later find many of Mistral's finest, most cutting-edge literature, along with the fine musk of Eau de Poisson beneath his pillows.

Yang didn't take his offer, merely glaring at him for stealing Ruby and Blake.

"Bye you guys!"

"Bye Jaune! Oh, and Little Jaune says buh-bye too! 'Buh-bye!"

"So long, Jaune. Oh, and might I suggest a job in waiting, or using a body as a coatstand? You have the frame for it."

"I'll keep that in mind. Blake, remember to get some sleep."

"Sure, Yang, I'll do that..." Blake was quite clearly reading off of her scroll, something about a Daimyo who had spent 30 years, reigning cruel since the loss of his wife, whilst smurgling her Jaune with one hand.

"Blake, are you a goddamn futa?"

That seemed to get her attention. "What? No!"

"Then stop massaging your Jaune."

Blake shrank away in embarrassment with her body, whilst Yang high-fived him.

"How about you guys? Want a spare?"

Nora shook her head, citing Renny as a source of snuggly buggles, and noting that that would be weird, like biting into a cookie and finding out it was oatmeal and raisin. After the wall came down and Jaune got Ruby back to sleep by reassuring her that oatmeal and raisin cookies were just a story cooked up to scare people, Pyrrha finally pulled Jaune into her bosom. Finally, after all this time.

"Miss Nikos?"

Pyrrha turned to see Ozpin, with his cane between the Arkos pair.

"Might I remind you that Arkos fails?"

"Let me have this."

"No."

Jaune hugged closer to Ozpin, now in his bed.

"Because Warlock needs more love."

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Mobydicks: Thanks!**

 **TheSetupMage: Omg...Jaune, lol**

 **Dev the snake faunus: ...have you guys destroyed Remnant yet?**

 **merendinoemiliano: As always thanks for the support, good year to you too. =)**

* * *

 **Criticize the story! Suggest what I should do!**

 **Appreciate the Reviews, Favorites, and Follows!**


	18. That (Not) Very Serious Meeting

**Chp XVII: That (Not) Very Serious Meeting**

 **Disclaimer: RWBY? Owned by me? Ha! That's RT's thing!**

 **"...characters standing around talking...characters sitting around talking..." ~ ARK**

* * *

Ozpin was feeling neglected. _Very_ neglected. Team RSBD (Rosebud) as he had dubbed them didn't even talk to him, like, at all!

As an entity as old as dirt, he had a certain self-consciousness about being forgotten.

Which was why he decided to hold a conference in the Teacher's Lounge.

And as should be expected with RSBD, nothing goes the way a person wants it to...unless it was Team RSBD.

Ozpin frowned. "How is it that no one bothered to tell me about a future version of Jaune Arc that appeared? Not even _just_ appeared, appeared like a few days ago."

Hohenheim shrugged as he plopped onto a couch and crossed his legs. "Must've never came up in conversation."

Glynda adjusted her glasses. She stood studiously next to Ozpin's couch. "We never had any conversation _period."_

Red, Belladonna, Moon, and Dragon hadn't taken a seat yet.

Red sweatdropped. "I thought we didn't need to have one…?"

"Why did you call for us anyway?" asked Moon.

"I believe we should have a conversation about the future, _your_ past. Which you have been keeping under wraps," said Ozpin formally. He wasn't going to say he felt neglected after all.

"I'll get the drinks," said Red before disappearing in a flutter of roses.

"I'll get the kids!" exclaimed Dragon before turning into an eagle and flying off.

"I already have my scroll," said Belladonna. She took a seat.

Moon summoned her penguin. "Get me some coconut juice. Knowing Red, she'll probably spike my drink."

The penguin saluted and waddled off.

Then Moon summoned a couple of Beowulfs.

"Bring me my expensive executive chair," said Moon. "The one in my dorm," she specified.

The Beowulfs dumbly walked off.

Belladonna raised an eyebrow. "Isn't summoning a convenient tool."

"It _is,"_ said Hohenheim. He threw a hand onto his forehead. "Ughhhh. All the paperwork! I have nightmares! I have hallucinations!"

"...I'm glad I was transported to the past."

Moon snorted. "Drama Queen."

"King," corrected Hohenheim.

"Wait! Drinks? Kids?" asked Ozpin. "First, those two do not go together. Second, this is supposed to be a serious discussion, no kids involved! And especially not alcohol!"

"Please," said Belladonna. "If we're talking about _our_ past, it'll end up as a shitstorm either way."

"Ahh," Hohenheim sighed. "The trademarked by Blake Belladonna 'Hit You with the Truth and Nothing but the Truth .'"

"All the more reason not to include children," pointed out Glynda.

Team RWBY and JNPR plus Winter for some reason appeared at the doorway with Dragon.

"Too late," said Belladonna.

Ruby gaped. "Wow! The Teacher's Lounge is _huge!"_

"...this is even bigger than the lecture halls," said Ren. He frowned. "Teacher benefits?"

"Well, go on in!" pushed Dragon.

The chairs were set in a circle around a large round table that took up most of the room. Then there was a counter surrounding the setup with things like refrigerators, microwaves, etc.

Team RWBY decided to sit in the seats closest to the exit. Team JNPR to their left. Winter to their right, next to Weiss.

Dragon sat down next to Belladonna, across from Hohenheim.

Beowulfs barged into the Teacher's Lounge, struggling to fit Moon's executive chair through the door frame.

The future dimension people didn't even bat an eye. Everyone else stared.

"She's rich," said Belladonna by way of explanation.

The Beowulfs managed to pull the chair through the entrance. Dragon burned the chair next to her to ashes, causing stares to now be focused on her. The Beowulfs set down the chair down in said ashes. Moon took a seat. She was by far closest to Ozpin, who was sitting farthest away from the door and there was still a few empty seats. Tells you something about the size of the room.

"What?" asked Moon, noticing all the stares.

"Nothing!" said Pyrrha quickly.

"Er...I'm glad your such a good summoner in the future," Winter said to Weiss.

Weiss twitched. "...sure."

Suddenly, Red appeared at the doorway with a two shelf steel cart. On the top cart were various drinks, ranging from beer to coconut juice. Lower cart was all kinds of fancy dessert. Tiramisu anyone?

Glynda checked her glasses. "H-how did you manage to get all _that?"_

"Hm? Oh, I ran."

" _Ran?"_

"Well, my semblance _is_ super speed."

"So cool!" Stars appeared in Ruby's eyes.

Yang frowned. "Is that alcohol? Ruby can't have alcohol."

As if to prove a point, Red gulped down a shot in front of Yang.

She wiped her mouth. "Well...I guess she could have the cookies."

"Cookies?!" exclaimed Ruby.

Moon eyed Red suspiciously. "Did you spike the cookies?"

"You hurt me! Even I wouldn't do such a thing! Cookies must stay pure no matter what!"

"I think her doubt is reasonable," said Belladonna. "You managed to spike oranges last time."

"Hohenheim helped me," said Red.

"I'm innocent," Hohenheim responded immediately.

Yang pointed an accusing finger at Dragon. "What are you doing?! How did Ruby end up like-like that?"

Dragon shrugged. "Red, hand me a beer."

Red tossed her a beer. Dragon opened it and took a sip.

"She said she should be given more freedom after she saved the world."

"I saved the world?!" asked Ruby excitedly. "Wow! How did I do that?"

The time-dimension travelers went oddly silent.

Hohenheim coughed. "A point of discussion, please?"

Blake frowned at Belladonna. "You and Red took over the White Fang, right?"

"What?!" Winter exploded seeing as she didn't get the memo.

"What happened to the members?...besides Illia," asked Blake.

"Oh. We sent them to Moon's prison."

Moon nodded. "Yes. They should be enjoying their time there now."

* * *

"Faunus are superior! Bow to us, human scum! I will-" shouted Adam, pacing around his cell.

"Does this guy ever shut up?" Emerald asked Fennec.

"...no."

"-and once I do, you all will be painfully executed! By my sword! You refuse to see the superiority of faunus, well, I will show you! Are you-"

"Shut up!" Mercury finally had enough."Just shut up! No one cares!"

Adam glared at him. "Disgusting human scum."

"Someone's got an awful personality," commented Torchwick. He paused. "Huh. He hit the nail on the head for this specimen of human kind though."

As he had taken to doing, Mercury tried to burn holes through Torchwick with his eyes.

Sienna sighed. "I deeply regret promoting Adam now."

Oh she had no idea.

* * *

Red grabbed two glasses of wine and took a seat next to Belladonna. She handed Belladonna a glass.

Hohenheim popped a beer.

Yang frowned. "Will I get in trouble for drinking?"

Winter responded immediately. " _Ye-"_

Moon pulled out Mytremaster and iced closed her technically older but younger sister's mouth.

"No."

"Well then! Strawberry Sunrise, I'm coming for you!"

"Oh, I'm still not over my Strawberry Sunrise phase," mused Dragon. "I sure did like my Strawberry Sunrise."

Yang zoomed back to her seat, Sunrise in hand.

Weiss twitched. "Alcohol should not be consumed so lightly!"

Moon's penguin waddled into the room, an intricate glass of coconut juice in his flippers. Moon gladly took it.

"Well it's fine as long as _I'm_ not the one consuming it," said Moon. Her penguin disappeared.

Glynda couldn't help but wonder what people's reactions to seeing a penguin buying juice was.

Winter finally ripped off the ice covering her mouth. "As your (technically) older sister, I demand you hold more responsibility!"

Moon ignored her.

"What is my future self doing anyways?!"

"...running the military?" said Moon.

Winter fainted.

" _Ahem._ Can we please get on track again?" asked Hohenheim. "I think Blake wanted to know about the White Fang."

Blake twiddled with her fingers. "Well...uh, one member...to be exact."

"Oh Oum, _him_ ," complained Dragon. She was a little tipsy seeing as she was already on her third beer. "It's no fair I didn't get to kill him!"

"W-what?!" exclaimed Blake, turning pale.

Yang blinked. She stopped sipping her Strawberry Sunrise. "Who are we talking about?"

"Adam Taurus," said Red. "I personally am of the opinion that he takes up too many conversations."

"Belladonnaaaaa!" drawled Dragon. "I had to deal with fire ass while you got to take Adam! That wasn't fair!"

Hohenheim raised an eyebrow. "You got the Fall Maiden powers that way. Can you really complain?"

Ozpin gripped his coffee. If Dragon got the Fall Maiden powers through what he assumed was _murder_ then that meant she didn't get the powers from Amber. Well shit. He messed up somewhere.

Belladonna took a sip from her wine. " _Please._ I had to pay him back too."

"He didn't cut off your arm!"

"I was in an abusive relationship for years!"

Moon rolled her eyes. "Oh no, not this again."

Red sighed.

"Well I was depressed for half an year! Constant nightmares aren't fun!"

"He tried to murder my family and all of Menagerie!"

"I thought that was Illia!"

"Under orders from Adam!"

"The guy has a bad haircut!"

"What does that have to do with anything?!"

"The point is, you didn't lose a limb to the guy! You still have everything attached!"

"I got stabbed! He promised to destroy everything I loved too!"

"I always thought that was really creepy!"

"He was insane! Or is. I'm not really sure."

Dragon paused. "Wait. There's an Adam here."

"You can't kill someone for things they haven't committed," pointed out Red. "I think that's morally wrong."

She frowned when she realized that meant she couldn't kill a certain few people. "Actually, I take that back."

"Eh," Dragon sighed. "Yeah...I don't think I have it in me to kill someone in cold blood."

Moon patted her shoulder. "Don't worry, I'm making sure his prison life is as miserable as possible."

Blake was foaming at the mouth by this point. "Wha-wha?"

Yang gingerly patted her right arm. "...I think I'll be keeping my arm, thanks."

"Hey, look on the bright side," said Dragon. "At least you're an _arm's-"_

""""NO!"""" screamed the other future-dimension travelers.

"I think that would be in poor taste," said Hohenheim.

"You guys suck."

Ozpin decided he really needed to get this conversation somewhere productive. It helped that two people (Winter and Blake) were unresponsive at the moment.

He coughed into his hand. "I would like to know what happened with the Fall Maiden. Or at least the story behind that."

Weiss frowned. "Isn't that a fairy tale?"

Moon looked at her younger self. "You saw Dragon turn into a bird."

"A majestic eagle," Dragon corrected.

"...well yes, I suppose. But _Maidens?"_

" _I'm_ a Maiden," said Dragon. The sides of her eyes burst into golden flames.

"Huh, that explains a lot," Yang mused. "I guess?"

"So what can Maidens do?!" asked Ruby.

Nora jumped onto the table. "I bet they can shoot fire out of their mouths! Throw lightning bolts from their feet! Make wind from their hair!"

"...sure," humoured Ren.

Dragon put a hand to her chin. "Huh. Never tried shooting fire from my mouth…or any of the other things."

"Do not shoot fire from your mouth," ordered Moon. "Your breath would smell like ash."

Ozpin tapped his cane against the floor. "You keep on side-tracking!"

"Right, story time." Red looked at Hohenheim. "This deals with your team the most, right?"

"I guess. Give me one sec." Hohenheim gulped down his beer. "Good, now I'm drunk."

Pyrrha was intrigued. What does a drunk Jaune act like? Jaune was worried about the effects that amount of alcohol so fast would have on his body. His many older sisters _did_ educate him (as in beat into his head).

"Oh no," Moon grumbled. "Here comes the _true_ Drama King."

"So where to start?" asked Hohenheim. "'Cause there's so many places…."

"Ozpin's decision?" suggested Dragon.

"Right. That works." Hohenheim looked at Ozpin. "So you needed a new Fall Maiden because the world is a dangerous place, hm?"

Ozpin had the feeling this was not going to end with a 'you were amazing and wise!'.

"So you choose Pyrrha."

 _Who I would choose even now._

"Because...now I learned all of this after the fact and through context clues okay? I think it was because Pyrrha was the most ready for the responsibility of something?"

Red nodded. "I think so."

"But she clearly wasn't!" exploded Hohenheim. "Because that would mean her aura would merge with Amber's and a whole lotta other shit!"

"Drama King," muttered Moon.

Pyrrha was now very uncomfortable.

"I mean seriously, don't you have choices in some older women?!"

Belladonna frowned. "Good point."

Red not so discreetly checked out Glynda. "Maybe Professor Goodwitch here just isn't good enough?"

Glynda clenched her teeth.

"Or maybe Ozpin just has certain criteria," mused Dragon. "Everyone is entitled to what they like afterall."

"Hm...at least it's not so weird with Oscar," added Belladonna. "But then again he's the same age…"

Moon nodded slowly. "Ladies, we don't judge people by their fetishes, correct? We're good people."

Ozpin felt like he had just been hit with a KO from a super effective, perfectly executed team attack.

"A-ah well…."

Everyone ignored him.

"So then Pyrrha was chosen," continued Hohenheim. "She asked for some time to think about it. Then a lot of shit went down. Grimm invaded Beacon. White Fang invaded Beacon. She-Who-is-an-Ass showed her true nature. She-Who-is-an-Ass murdered Amber, She-Who-is-an-Ass murdered Ozpin, but that's okay-"

" _Not!"_ Ozpin felt the need to shout.

"-then She-Who-is-an-Ass murdered Pyrrha. And that is how She-Who-is-an-Ass became the Fall Maiden. But at least Red did a number on her."

"Oh please, you give me too much credit," gushed Red. "All I did was blind her in one eye and destroy half of her!"

Glynda was seriously worried for the development of children these days now.

Ruby looked a little green. "Uh...that's nice?"

"So this...She-Who-is-an-Ass murdered many people?" asked Pyrrha slowly. "...including me."

Jaune looked over at her in worry.

"Her name is Cinder," said Hohenheim. "Last name is Fall, which should tell you a little about what happened to her."

"Hey, didn't Raven like totally wreck her on her last name?" asked Red. "I'm sure she was bragging about it…"

Dragon nodded. "I'm sure too. It's hard to say with my mom though, she brags about literally _anything_ impressive she did."

"Does she brag about her time working for Salem?" asked Moon.

"Except that," corrected Dragon.

Ozpin and Glynda's eyes nearly fell out of their sockets.

 _Raven worked for Salem?!_

"...I thought Salem was a made-up person for us to practice writing with," said Ren.

"Oop. I think I gave off the wrong impression," said Moon.

"How did you manage to do that?" asked Hohenheim. "That's ridiculous."

"I had them write the most offensive letters possible to Salem. ...oh and Neo's in my class."

Hohenheim nodded slowly. "I think I need to see those letters."

Jaune suddenly stood up. "H-how can you all be so okay with Pyrrha being dead?! You all talk about it like it's nothing!"

Pyrrha winced.

Hohenheim sighed. He ran his hand through his hair. "Look kid. People get over death. They get over it or else they'd never move on."

"B-but-"

"You think I wasn't messed up after that?" asked Hohenheim. "...I was really messed up. For a long time."

"If it's any consultation, so was Red," added Moon.

Red leaned over and kicked her chair.

"Hey! This piece of furniture was expensive!"

"But I've learned that you have to deal with it and accept it," preached Hohenheim. "It took me a long time-"

"And a lot of crying," coughed Dragon.

" _It took me a long time_ , but I realized that lesson in the end."

Hohenheim frowned. "That was too inspirational. Mostly, I just realized being depressed and emo kinda sucked for everyone."

"Here, here," Moon held up her coconut juice. "You got me stabbed. I almost died...more than usual."

Weiss balked. Winter jolted awake at that moment.

"Who got my sister stabbed?!"

She was ignored.

Hohenheim bumped glasses with Moon. "To not being depressed and emo."

"And not running straight first at enemies clearly stronger than you," added Belladonna. She glared at Dragon.

"Yeah Hohenheim!" Dragon accused.

Belladonna face-palmed.

"Right. Emotional stuff outta the way," said Dragon. "Anything else?"

Ozpin had an important question to ask. "You managed to-"

"What happened to Team JNPR after Pyrrha...died?" asked Ren.

Ozpin frowned. "Did you manage-"

"Oh. I joined the team for a while," said Red. "Ahh. Good times, Team RNJR."

"Team JNRR," corrected Hohenheim automatically.

"Pfft. JNRR isn't a color." Red leaned back in her chair. "That was fun."

Ozpin tried to get their attention again. " _Ahem._ Red, did-"

Moon scoffed. "You're not allowed to say it was fun."

"Don't be so jealous, princess. What was I supposed to do? Team RWBY was disbanded."

"What?!" yelled Ruby.

"Temporarily," corrected Belladonna.

"Mhm, because of who?" stabbed Dragon.

Belladonna frowned. "Moon was missing too."

"I was forced to leave," corrected Moon. "Therefore it couldn't be my fault."

"Dragon was going through depression and therapy."

"Because who ran away to Menagerie?"

"Either way you would've been out of commission," defended Belladonna.

"I would've been out of commission for _less_ time."

"I thought we all recognized it as Belladonna's fault," intercepted Hohenheim.

"I refuse to accept that," said Belladonna.

Red looked off into space. "I'm sure you accepted that when we got back together…"

"That was then, here is now."

"To answer your question," said Hohenheim to Ren. "Team _JNRR-"_

" _RNJR!"_

" _-JNRR_ was formed." Hohenheim switched out his beer for coffee (which couldn't be good for him). "Then _JNRR_ was disbanded when RWBY came back together. So we were...well, still JN_R for a while. Then Penny joined and we were back as JNPR."

"Penny who?" asked Nora. She tackled Pyrrha. "She can't replace Pyrrha!"

"She didn't," said Hohenheim. "She was just a new member."

"How ironic though…." mused Moon. After all, Pyrrha _had_ killed Penny 1.0.

Ozpin was really trying hard to direct everyone's attention back at him. _Usually_ he was pretty good at this. "Ladies and gentlemen-"

Sadly for Ozpin, Hohenheim was a master drinker of coffee. As one would need to be when they were dating the leader of Team CFVY. Seriously, every member of CFVY consumed way too much coffee. If Hohenheim wanted a drink he needed to move _fast._

"Oh by the way guys. Nora and Ren got engaged."

Moon jumped out of her chair. "Finally!"

"...that only took forever," said Belladonna drily.

"Me and RENNY? Nora pointed a shaking finger at Ren. "TOGETHER TOGETHER?!"

"..." Ren sat shock-still.

"Who engaged who?" asked Red eagerly.

"Nora told Ren."

"Score!" shouted Dragon. She made a beckoning motion with her hand. "Gimme that mula, sis."

"Nooooooo!" Red wailed. "Ren, grow a backbone! I was depending on you!"

She fished her ladybug wallet out of her pocket and threw Dragon a 20 lien card, her pride forever broken.

Then she grabbed her wine and tipped it down her throat.

Yang gasped. "Ruby, you are _not_ allowed to place bets."

Ruby was looking between her older older sister and her older self. "But it looks so cool!"

"No! Red, be a better example for yourself!"

Red grinned maliciously. "I refuse."

Hohenheim pulled out a complicated looking cube with a ton of wires and began fiddling with it to get rid of his newfound hyperness.

"Say, when are you two getting engaged?" asked Hohenheim. "Moon? Dragon? It's been more than four years now."

"Never!" Weiss shouted shrilly.

Winter nodded resolutely. "Agreed."

Red and Belladonna watched their teammates' reactions with baited eyes.

Dragon threw her beer into the garbage. "Aw fuck it."

She slid off her chair, kneeling onto the floor. Dragon pulled out a ring case from seemingly nowhere and opened it.

She looked at Moon and smiled. "Well?"

"Wow Yang, I never knew you could be such a hopeless romantic," commented Ruby.

Yang was too busy trying to pick her jaw off the floor to answer.

Moon raised an eyebrow. "...you couldn't wait until the dance _next week_ at least?"

Dragon shrugged sheepishly. "Actually, I was planning on our fifth anniversary."

"You idiot." Moon pulled her into a kiss. "I accept."

* * *

 **Author's Notes: …not sure how I feel about this chapter. It's mostly just fooling around and exposition and character development. Except the last scene. That was fun to write. Um...so yeah, I promise next chapter will be absolutely** _ **hilarious?" …**_ **I'll sign out now.**

 **Oh and shout out to Nightwing2013 for Team RSBD!**

 **And guys, I need a name for Bandit #2! Just had to start with M!**

 **...beta is annoying little bro.**

 **...I'll _actually_ sign out now.**

* * *

 **Omake XXIV: Weiss's Summoning Gone Wrong RW(B)Y**

Weiss just slammed the door shut on Whitley. _Finally,_ some peace, quiet, and no annoying little brothers in sight. She closed her eyes, concentrating on her summonings. A giant glyph fizzled into existence, turning faster and faster. Light filled the room.

Weiss opened her eyes...and her mouth fell open.

Holding her head was a black longcoat wearing cat-faunus. Her glowing amber eyes narrowed in on Weiss.

"Oum dammit, what did you do Weiss?"

 _It speaks! Wait, say what._ "Who are you?!

"Oh no. What is this? A bad plot?"

 _What is she talking about?!_

The door opened, revealing Klein, epic eye-color changing butler. His eyes shot out of their sockets. "Ms. Schnee, I didn't know you like faunus."

"W-what?!"

"It's not like that," said the cat-faunus easily. "She's just a lifelong friend..though bothersome at times."

* * *

That Yang and Weiss Reunion

"Alright, well, subtlety is out," guessed Weiss. She paused. Should she really summon _her_ right now? Ah, whatever.

She concentrated. A summoning glyph appeared and out appeared a familiar cat-faunus.

"...I was busy." Belladonna, as Weiss refer to her as, said dully. She assessed the situation. "Wow, Yang and Weiss weren't kidding about the kidnapping thing."

Weiss stared. "You _knew_ this would happen?! Communication, Belladonna!"

Belladonna sighed. "I was never good at communication."

She pulled out Gambol Shroud. With one clean cut, the cage's top was seperated from its bottom. Weiss made a glyph, propelling her out of the cage. The she ran to Yang.

Belladonna jumped out with barely any noticeable effort. And of course she landed on her feet, she always did.

Yang turned pale. "That looks like-"

"Blake? Yes, meet future Blake. Belladonna, Yang," introduced Weiss.

"Sorry for leaving," Belladonna apologized to the younger version of her partner.

"H-huh?" Yang stammered. "I don't need an apology from you! I need one from _my_ Blake, present Blake!"

Belladonna smiled. "Makes sense." She patted Yang's head. Yang quickly moved away.

"Ahem." Raven looked royally ticked off. "Before I was interrupted-"

Belladonna blinked. "Oh, Raven. Right, you were the one responsible for the kidnapping."

" _Yes,"_ snarled Raven.

"At least you're a responsible person," decided Belladonna. "Well, I guess you _have_ to be. But then again, you did run away because you were scared."

 _...I just realized something that I should never tell Yang. Scaredy cat...runs away. Oh Oum, I will_ never _tell her._

"I was _not_ scared! So back to the conversation-"

"The one where you're going to talk about how hope never prevails over tea?" Belladonna always had to hear complaints from Weiss and Yang about that particular conversation. It was _tiring._

Raven pulled at her hair in frustration. "Ugh! Just get in the damn tent, the three of you!"

* * *

 **Omake XXV: Low-Intelligence Espionage Reconnaissance, Endonuptial: Petal Gear. Next time, I'm naming this, Nora.**

 **Written By: TheSetupMage**

dweep*

"Big Sloth, you have been inserted into the Phnomiyuri Insurgency camp A to meet with our contact, who is operating under the alias Kunoichi Knightshade. She will direct you with further instructions. Bear in mind when attempting to contact her that she is under intense scrutiny from General Khan, Brigadier General Taurus, and fellow Majors Tukson and Amitola, as well as Officer Banesaw, who is deemed to be the most skilled recruit in years, so if possible, neutralize him before he becomes a threat."

"Operator Mors, why aren't you using the codenames the Kunoichi gave you?"

"Because I'm calling her Knightshade as it is. Do you know how tortured that pun is? Even Agent Medeus wouldn't make that joke. Secondly, she gave me the codenames Booty Like Pow, Princess Minuano, BDSM, Belgariad, and Chainsaw Buffet. Imagine what Valhalla's reaction to hearing how you've been gone on a mission regarding BDSM and Booty Like Pow. It'll be O-17 all over again. But this time, no Time And Relative Dimensions In Cardboard will save you, Agent *Lazy.*"

"Firstly, you don't get to bring up O-17. Whilst The Velveteen One-"

"Praise be."

"Praise be."

"Praise be." Echoed everyone, including the newly sonorous Neo.

"Did something weird just happen?"

"Er-nothing, honeybun. Coffee?"

"Yes, plea-Oh, that was fast."

"Think nothing of it, my dear!" cried Oobleck, leaving his flask behind with a *pop*

"-helped out a lot, with the whole, y'know, reality thing, convincing that sexy sparkly boy not to kill us means we can't bring Agent Nice Sprites into the field, without fear of him throwing feathers that turn into Rapier Wasps or something. Secondly, the Sloth is a beautiful creature and I will not have it insulted. Thirdly, you saw what happened in O-34 dx, Nora wouldn't mind if I was, and quote, 'booping' other people."

"No, she wouldn't. And in case you haven't noticed the lines behind you, the possibility of her travelling back in time to perfectly mimic your actions is steadily growing.""That's not how possibility works, you see, if even the slightest-"

TIME PARADOX

"See you, Mors out."

dweep*

"Renny! Oh Renny, why don't you call more often?"

"Because, Valhalla, I'm infiltrating enemy bases, and saving this world, and if I were to tell you my position, then you'd compromise the operation to save me and blow any enemies to smithereens?"

"Oh, sorry, Sloth! Or should I call you Big? Eyebrow waggle. Silly Sloth, don't you think I already know where you are? Even THIS fearless leader knows that!"

"Right... In that case, tell Orijaune to secure some O-19-107-F and some Nova dust, maybe some Particle. But first, tell Operator Mors "Fuck you, Ren's hunting for BDSM." -

PIME TARADOX

That's fair. Big Sloth. Out."

dweep*

"Iron Rooster. Suuup."

"Big...Sloth...*gasp*...Hello..."

"I never knew operating could be so hard. Mors been riding you hard?"

"Not...him..."

"I kind of figured that. You know you can say no to her, right?"

"No...It would be...backing down from a challenge. And on the Ren family honour, I can't do that."

"Huh, family. Couple of wars in, more omakes than are strictly necessary, and being about the 10th or so most fanficced anime, and I don't see them around much. Weird, you'd think being voiced by Dawn Bennett and being hot would drive more shippers in, or at least a gamer fic where she joins Jaune's harem."

"...If I ask, my quality of life will deteriorate, won't it?"

"34-dx hasn't happened yet, and Mom's Spaghetti is that many minutes away from-you can still maintain a semblance of innocence."

"Whatever-is, it's starting?"

EXPATRIADO

"Oddly fitting. Big-out."

dweep*

"*wubwubwub* Hello, friend Ren!"

"Greetings, monk. *eeroamckshdvwpwpwpvweeweeeoow*"

"Just calling-anomalies, time is-and that's why guns'n'roses is the hottest ship, and why standard sex is boring. And it happened again-it? Also, I figured-step is enhanced."

"Intelligent move, mortal. I shall grant you-dulcet tones."

"And MY beat, hit so hard, I'm tearing it aww part, yeah boy!

rakadakarwpwpwewdoomuwwwuwwummiridditiddiliyoureeyouwewiyewiyewirantsandanmawrewdokikkkiyikkkikkkiyiprewenn...*"

And as a cardboard box that emitted dubstep so hardcore that it created its own light show and started bouncing around, made its way through the corridors, the guards somehow didn't notice it. Then again, they were distracted, at first by porn magazines, then by being forced into a chronospacial colander, if they were lucky.

And as Ren got closer to the contact, he found himself wondering why this was so easy, why all those White Fang soldiers were particularly noodly today, why Ilia was kissing Blake, why Ilia was in green, and Blake had orange hair, why they were now samurai, why his consciousness was fading, why the tinge of bitter, why the sound of drip, why the black, then the brown, then Nora? Then "Why, why won't he notice me? Then, I'll have to find a way." Then another Nora, brandishing a coffee, which was also like the one he was in, then a whole lot of Nora, and a whole lot of-

"My name is Lie Ren."

And a dusky glow, and he felt complete. Judging by the suddenly excited boy before him, she felt the same limitless jubilance.

"Another round, Nora?"

"You betcha, Renny!"

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Mobydicks: Last omake's credits go to TheSetupMage! (Give credit where credit's do) and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Promise next chap will be crazy! (Unlike this one).**

 **merendinoemilliano: ...you're right. I think Bandit #2 does deserve a name. Lemme put that in the A/N for suggestions… and I think RJ x Red would be pretty cool (JUNGLE FURY!)...I just have no idea how I'd make it work in an Omake format. Ideas? Also, I need a spirit animal for Red cause there's no way I'm not making her a Power Ranger :).**

 **Nightwing2023: YESSSS! Finally, a name!**

 **TheSetupMage: wow just...lmao. Confusing as ever, but lmao.**

 **snoogenz: that is a strange fascination...but my lips are sealed on who's going with who until next Chp! ...I agree with you, I really hope Illia gets more development cause she's my favorite newly introduced character since vol 3…not that that's a particularly high bar.**

 **Dev the snake faunus: (nods head studiously) I see...welp, have fun blowing up worlds!**

 **alertpoet91: will do!**

* * *

 **As always Constructive Criticism and Suggestions!**

 **Review, Favorite, and Follow if it's worth it!**


	19. Preparing for Prom is HARD

**Chp XVIII: Preparing for Prom is HARD**

 **Disclaimer: Yup, not the owner of RWBY or RT...or at least not yet... *insert generic evil laughter***

 **"I like to aim for the impossible, at least this way, if I fail, I'd still have gone far." ~ ARK**

* * *

Blake had the sneaking suspicion someone was watching her. Just a sneaking suspicion as she walked down the courtyard. Blake passed a pillar.

She paused, abruptly turning. She could've sworn she saw a flash…

Blake sighed. "What are you doing, Illia?"

The chameleon faunus appeared out of the pillar, spots pink.

"U-uh," she stammered incoherently. Evidently Illia was not prepared to be caught stalking Blake.

"...do you need anything?" asked Blake awkwardly. She couldn't help it. This was the girl who supposedly liked her in a completely non-platonic way after all.

And if the conversation nearly two weeks ago was to be believed, the person who 'tried to murder her family and all of Menagerie' in another universe.

Suffice to say, _awkward._

Illia shifted nervously. "Well, the dance is three days from now…?"

Blake's brain came to a complete halt. Oh no. She still didn't have a date, sure, but _Illia?_ Sorry, no attraction.

The cat-faunus's mind restarted, this time in a panicked frenzy.

"Oh uh! ...I'm going with Sun, yeah? I mean yeah!" She nodded vigorously. "I'm going with Sun!"

Blake wanted to hit herself with a rock. With an added bonus of forgetting everything that just came out of her mouth.

Illia looked so disappointed Blake's heart broke.

"I mean Ruby's nice!" Dig yourself deeper into a hole, as they say. Well they were around the same age at least…? And Ruby _did_ say Illia was cute.

"Ruby...the crazy one with the scythe?"

Oum help her. "Sure…"

Illia frowned, clearly more than reluctant.

Think! Think! Blake was supposed to be smart!

"I'll, uh… save you a dance?"

"But she's…" Illia decided 'she's human' wouldn't be a particularly good response. "But I don't know how to ask her?"

* * *

Meanwhile…

Belladonna's eyes twitches violently...along with her ears.

She was watching a live video feed of her younger self clearly failing at letting down a person. Talk about cringe.

Why she even had access to a live feed of Beacon? Belladonna was a qualified stealth huntress...the _only_ qualified stealth huntress on Team RWBY or RSBD for that matter. Red's Crescent Rose and rose petals were dead giveaways, Dragon was just too loud, the two sisters were horrible at keeping secrets in general, and Moon...Moon simply couldn't be bothered with anything stealth related.

This had all culminated to Belladonna being a little paranoid.

It didn't help Team RSBD had a tendency to attract assassins of all kinds literally _all the time._

Sometimes saving the world sucks.

So when it was apparent that Team RSBD (plus Hohenheim) would be staying at Beacon most of the time, Belladonna went out and bought one of the best computers on the market, three monitors, and a whole lot of cameras. ...using Moon's money but she didn't need to know that. Then she had set everything up in an impressive time span of one day.

She learned to do this after that one time when Team RSBD was on their one year vacation. They decided to stay in a hotel for a day. Someone poisoned their drinks.

Luckily, Dragon was the one to drink it first. So all was fine.

Actually, it was better than fine. Dragon couldn't speak for a _week._ No puns!

" _I'll uh...save you a dance?"_

Belladonna cringed.

"Mini-me and Illia?" asked Red, looking up from grading papers. "Well, that's something new."

"This is just going downhill by the minute…" muttered Belladonna.

Illia said something about not knowing how to ask Ruby.

By then, Belladonna was already out her shared dorm with Red.

…through the window.

 _Argh! Even I'm doing it now!_ Blake thought, disappointed in herself. Well, it _was_ faster.

Red blinked. "Hey, I wonder if this means Blake and Sun will actually get together in this universe…"

"So weird."

* * *

"Alright, pause...stop!"

Belladonna may not have super speed like Red and Ruby...or the ability to turn into an eagle like Dragon...or glyphs to enhance her speed like Moon and Weiss...Oum damn it she already knew she was the least powerful member of Team RSBD! No need to rub it in her face, alright?!

Cough* _But_ she had her agility and was still way faster than the average person.

Hence how she managed to get to Blake and Illia in under three minutes.

Belladonna put her hands on Illia's shoulders, turning her to face the direction of the dorms. She looked at Blake and forced a laugh.

"Haha! You're older, more experienced self's got this in a bag...uh, enjoy your library time!"

Illia stared. "Wha-whaaaaa!"

Belladonna sped off with the chameleon faunus in tow, leaving dust and a perplexed Blake behind.

"Okayyy…." Blake robotically began walking to the lunchroom.

"Shit!" Now she had to ask Sun to go to the dance with her! _...shit._

 _Phew._ Belladonna let out a sigh of relief. Disaster averted. Her world's Illia hopefully _never_ caught word of this. She would probably hold it over Belladonna's head forever, the jerk.

Well it could've been much worse at least?

* * *

"What do I do?!" cried Jaune, hands on his head in abject terror.

He, Hohenheim, Ren, and Nora were exploring the shopping district of Vale.

Hohenheim was flipping through a comic book, only _maybe_ a quarter listening to his younger self.

"How am I supposed to get ready for the dance that's coming up in, like, _three_ days?!" Jaune panicked. "What do girls like?! What does Pyrrha like?!"

Ren raised an eyebrow. "...weren't you always asking Weiss out?"

"And getting rejected all the time?" added Nora happily.

"That was different! I never expected her to say yes!"

"...that's just depressing," summed up Ren.

"I actually went on a date with her," said Hohenheim nonchalantly.

Jaune jumped in front of him. "What?! How?!"

"It just took saving her from a fatal stab wound." Now Moon was all like 'hmph, it was technically your fault'. Nonsense, it was _only_ 50% his fault.

"I uh...I don't think I'll be doing that anytime soon," said Jaune. He went back to frantically walking.

A light bulb went off in his brain. "Hey, Ren. What are you wearing for the dance? I mean, you and Nora are a thing now."

Thanks to one Future Jaune.

A neon green suit with a yellow tie and bright purple polo pants magically appeared in Nora's hand.

"Tada!" Nora exclaimed, waving her other hand at it.

Ren facepalmed, face turning red.

Pedestrians stopped and stared.

"Yeah, no," decided Jaune.

"Hey, anything is better than what I had," Hohenheim tried. "I wore a _dress."_

"W-what gave you that idea?!"

"An Arc never goes back on his word," said Hohenheim mysteriously.

"What? Dude help me! All you've been doing is looting hobby stores!"

"For your information, I paid for these. And for good reason." He held out a set of comics. "These things are impossible to find in the future. People pay big bucks just to get one."

"...isn't that using the past for your own personal gain?" asked Ren incredulously.

Hohenheim closed his eyes and cupped his chin, nodding sagely.

"I just regret not collecting the lottery numbers. A misjudgement on my part."

Jaune and Ren stared.

"You. Are. So. Evil!" exclaimed Nora. "I love it!"

Sometime between taking out Ren's prom outfit and Hohenheim's declaration of not-innocence, Ren's suit and polo pants had miraculously disappeared from Nora's hand.

Hohenheim smirked. "Thank you."

He looked at Jaune. "Now what was this about helping you? I don't date a fashionette without picking up some stuff, y'know."

Jaune blinked. _Who_ does Hohenheim date again? Wait, he dated someone?!

* * *

Belladonna bursted into Team RWBY's dorm...dragging along Illia...again.

Man, poor Illia couldn't get a break.

"Ruby! I've got a date for you!"

"WHAT?!" Ruby fell out of her bed as landed with a thump. "Ow…"

Moon cocked her head. "Well, that solves one problem."

Yang stared. Weiss looked up.

"Oh hi Moon," Belladonna greeted her longtime teammate.

"Illia though? What made you think that?" asked Moon.

"...it just sort of happened."

"Alright great." Moon turned to Weiss and Yang. "Now, only you two need a date."

Weiss slammed her face into her hands. "Ugh...but we're _in charge_ of the dance. We don't need dates."

Belladonna raised an eyebrow at Moon. "What happened to Neptune?"

"No White Fang obsession, no experience."

"Makes sense." Belladonna paused. "Wait, you only liked him because he flirted with you that _one_ time?"

"Give me a break, no one's ever flirted with me before that." Moon looked at Belladonna. "And it's not like _I'm_ the one who entered a very early relationship with a sociopath."

"That was just plain low."

Moon smiled. "Just saying."

Belladonna smiled back. "Sure, sure. Way over it anyway."

Weiss blinked. " ...who was he again?"

"...ever worry about the changes we're making?" asked Belladonna.

"Sometimes...alright, not really." Moon shrugged. "It's not like anything _bad's_ happened because of our actions."

"Point."

Moon grinned wickedly as she turned back to face Weiss and Yang.

"Now since you two are in charge of prom night, wouldn't it make the most sense for the two of you to go together?"

Yang and Weiss paled until they were basically white.

Belladonna shoved Illia into the room, then promptly left.

...yeah, her universe's Illia will _never_ hear of any of this. She'll make sure of it.

* * *

Dragon hated dresses. It started after she lost her arm because, well, a robotic arm wasn't very pretty. And also because dresses are just a pain to wear in general.

Like seriously, who needed so much fluff on one piece of clothing?!

She will never know how Moon and Red endured with dresses, also known as 'battle skirts' (pffft) in their combat attires for years.

Oh and there was that one time where she slipped on her dress, freaked out, and turned into a bird in the middle of a ball. Yeah.

Then she had started wearing suits and oh,Oum those things are _comfy._ They're like nice looking pajamas!

So where does a person get a handsome suit for their first time out after engagement? A club of course, where else? And she knew this one club in particular...

Dragon kicked open the doors.

Instantly, the music stopped and various weapons were aimed at her.

What the hell?! They shouldn't even recognize her!

"Idiots! Wrong blonde!" A certain bowl cut man pushed through the crowd.

"Junior! Buddy! Half right!"

Junior stared at her. "And who the hell are you again?"

Dragon grinned. "What, can't recognize me? It's me, Yang! Rhymes with _bang?_ Oh, and you still owe me a drink...it's like ten years overdue by this point."

Well, _technically,_ in her universe he already payed her back...but _technically_ in this universe he hadn't.

Damn it, Dragon just wanted to mess with the guy's head.

Junior gaped. "W-what?"

Dragon turned to Melanie and Miltia. "Hey girls! I know we got off on the wrong *ahem* _footing,_ I'm looking at you and your high heels Melanie, but wanna join my Bandit Tribe?"

They stared at her.

"She's insane," said Melanie.

"She's insane," said Miltia.

They walked away.

"...I haven't been clinically diagnosed yet," muttered Dragon.

She made a split-second decision.

"You know what? From now on, Junior's Club is part of the Xiao-Long Tribe!" They would certainly be an asset.

The Malachite twins came to a halt.

"What?"

"What?"

Junior's jaw dropped even more, which shouldn't have been possible. "What?"

"Huh. You guys are already showing bandit level intelligence."

Militia frowned. "Sister, I really don't like what she's implying."

Melanie glared at Dragon. "Me too. I believe a lesson is due."

"...whoa, I'm totally feeling the nostalgia," said Dragon, fanning herself.

The twins attacked.

"Melanie! Miltia! What are you two doing!?" exclaimed Junior, getting his mouth back in working order.

Dragon merely sidestepped Melanie's kick with practiced ease. She grabbed the smaller girl's arm and threw her through the window.

"Melanie!"

Miltia's eyes glowed with vengeance for her sister. She slashed at Dragon. Dragon jumped away. A punch she could take. A few hundred punches sure. Giant Wolverine claws? No thank you.

Imagine all the damage that would put on her wicked coat!

Dragon stepped in front of Miltia, taking her by surprise. She kicked at the girl's feet.

Miltia fell back-

Dragon grabbed her arm. She winked. "Wanna dance?'

"Wha-"

"Oh shit! Moon would totally kill me, sorry no can do!"

Dragon let Miltia drop to the floor. Light frost appeared around the Malachite twin to keep her in place.

Dragon looked around. She was met with a lot of loaded guns and sticks.

She cracked her knuckles. "Alright! I need a fight anyways." And as an added bonus, she won't use her maiden powers for this fight! ...it was getting boring just blasting people with fire anyways.

Junior, the poor guy, was trying to get things in control. "People! Just wait one sec-"

Dragon used a burst of wind to appear next to the bear masked DJ. The DJ fell on his butt in surprise. She pulled out her scroll, smashed her finger on it a few times, then connected it to the loudspeakers.

A track started...with weirdly soft music for someone like Dragon.

As if on cue, the henchmen charged at her. Dragon grinned and jumped onto the dance floor. For added effect, flames appeared around her.

The music suddenly reached a crescendo. ' _It happened every night. I watched my world ignite.'_

She punched a henchman in the balls...he wasn't making any babies anytime soon. Dragon rounded on another henchman, elbowing him. He was sent flying into the bar.

' _But there's no waking from this nightmare.'_

The bartender looked down at the henchman, then at Dragon in horror. He went back to polishing a wine glass nervously, pleading to every deity he knew that crazy lady wasn't going to come to him.

' _The stage is always set. The place I can't forget.'_

Dragon grinned as henchmen started shooting at her. She charged at a lonely (or stupid) one who was all alone.

' _The hidden eyes, that I can feel there.'_

She grabbed his face and turned, blocking shots with the guy's body.

Suddenly, the music turned to rock with a loud orchestral piece.

Dragon threw the henchman's body at a group of henchmen, they went down like bowling pins. She swerved to the side as a missile streaked past, it exploded behind her. A few grunts of pain were heard.

' _My eyes are open wide. I'm racing to her side.'_

Dragon fished out her wallet. She dodged a henchman's stick, letting it hit another henchman.

' _There's nothing that I won't do for her.'_

"Watch it!" The henchman cried angrily.

Dragon turned her wallet upside down and shook it. A turtle plopped onto her hand.

The entirety of the conscious club blinked.

She grinned. Mertle yawned.

' _But this is not a dream. My mind repeats the scene.'_

Dragon chucked Mertle at a grenade launcher wielding henchman.

 _Thwack._

The henchman went down hard. A missile streaked out of his launcher and blasted a hole through the bar's ceiling.

' _I can't forget it and it's torture.'_

"Damn it! I have to pay for that you know!" shouted an angry Junior.

Dragon ran past, picking up Mertle.

' _That was before. But not anymore.'_

She blocked a henchman's stick with Mertle's shell. Then she slammed the turtle into the henchman's face.

The henchman saw turtles and crumbled to the ground.

' _I've left it behind.'_

Mertle was thrown like a frisbee into the legs of a group of incoming henchmen. They fell onto themselves.

' _As much as I lost, once I'm across I'll find.'_

Dragon turned and punched a henchman in the guts. He slammed into another henchman behind him.

' _I've found the strength to grow so much more. A whisper to a roar.'_

She slammed her fist into a guy's cheek, sending him sprawling. Then she flipped and kicked a henchman in the chest.

' _No more crying. It's time for me to soar.'_

Dragon jumped off the henchman and into the air. She readied her robot arm-

' _Feel like I'm finally unbroken. Feel like I'm back from the dead.'_

-and slammed it into the dance floor.

The floor cascaded, sending henchmen flying. She punched through a group of them. They crashed into a pillar, the glass breaking into shards.

' _My strength back and confidence growing.'_

Dragon fired her arm and Ember Celica, propelling herself into the last crowd of henchmen...who were now cowering in fear.

' _Out of my way. Cause I'm armed and ready!'_

She slammed her fist into a henchman's gullet, sending him through the roof. Dragon slid to the ground and kicked at the other henchman's feet. They fell. She grabbed the final henchman sent a fist flying towards-

"Dragon? Seriously?"

Dragon stopped, fist less than an inch away from the henchman's face. The force was so great anyway that the guy's cheeks were pulled back by g-force.

' _Ready! (Armed and Ready)'_

Red stood arms crossed at the doorway.

"Oh! Hey sis!" Dragon dropped the henchman. "What's up?"

"The sky," answered Red automatically. She slammed a hand on her head. "Damn it! Belladonna's rubbed off on me!"

' _I'm ready! (Armed and Ready)'_

Red looked at the loudspeakers. "...why do you like that song so much?"

"Sis! It's like, my life story!" Dragon grinned. "And if you apply it to me, it's a pun!"

' _Feeling pretty! (Armed and Ready!)'_

Red face-palmed. "Of course… 'Armed and Ready'...Oum dammit."

"Yup!" said Dragon cheerfully. "So why you here?"

"...I heard from you about this guy who knew and can get everything?" Red flashed to Yang's scroll and pulled it out.

' _Remember all too-'_

"Oh Junior!" Dragon pointed a thumb at said person...who was edging towards the backdoor. "That's him!"

"Oh," said Red dully.

"Hey Junior!" called Dragon.

Junior halted to a stop. "...yeeaaahhh?"

"Why didn't you fight?"

Red looked around at the floor littered with henchmen plus one girl. "Maybe because he didn't want to get beat up? Just a thought."

"...someone broke my weapon a while ago."

"Ohhhh...sorry?" Dragon had forgotten about that. Hey, it was _ages_ ago. She was a tiny kid back then! And already beating up grown men...d'awww she was such a cute kid! Damn it, now she wanted to go and cuddle Yang.

If you cuddle yourself was that weird?

"Great," said Red, walking to Junior. "I need your help for an upcoming dance…"

Junior blinked. "What?"

"Oh hey! I'm in the same boat," said Dragon. She grabbed Mertle (who bit her) and came up to Junior. "I don't want my betrothed killing me…"

"What?"

"Mm...I don't want my girlfriend putting spikes in my bed..."

"What?!"

* * *

Pyrrha had never been this freaked out in her life. She was going to the dance with Jaune. _Jaune._ The person she had been pinning for since the start of Beacon.

Oh yes!

But what in the world was she supposed to wear?!

She decapitated another training dummy's head with her lance.

Pyrrha Nikos, four time Mistral Regional Champion was freaking out about a date.

She would laugh if she wasn't so freaked out.

She threw her shield at a dummy in frustration.

"Girl problems?"

Pyrrha jumped. Her shield came zooming back at her.

She ducked.

Coco Adel swatted away the shield with her suitcase with practiced ease.

Akouo embedded itself into the ceiling.

Oops...did she have to pay for property damage? Pyrrha hoped not.

She looked at the older girl. "...yes?"

Coco shouldered her suitcase. "Lemme guess. The dance."

How did she know? "Yes?"

Coco blew a strand of hair out of her face and grinned, striking a magnificent pose. "Not how I expected to spend the day I got back, but hey, it's not every day you get to dress up the Mistral Champion."

Pyrrha's brain faltered. "Huh?"

"Come on now, we only have a day."

* * *

Vernal patted Bandit #2's, whose name turned out to be Marron (Winter decided to finally look up the poor boy's name out of pity), shoulder.

"Alright. You, me. Operation: Survive the Dance."

"...sure?" said Marron, completely unsure. He was expecting to be a sideline bachelor! _Not_ the date of a mentally insane bandit with magical powers!

And he couldn't even object because she was higher on the pecking order than him!

By a lot!

Meanwhile, Neo was silently laughing. Again, she challenged what was possible and what was not.

Vernal noticed and threw a lightning bolt at her. Her eyebrows twitched. "What, do _you_ have a date?"

Neo erected a wall of ice, blocking the lightning bolt. She snapped her fingers and the wall disappeared.

She nodded smugly.

Marron wondered where Illia was. At least that was _one_ other sane person in a school full of crazies.

Seriously, he still had nightmares of the food fight. Oh Oum the maniacal laughters of that orange haired girl followed him everywhere!

Vernal narrowed her eyes. " _Really?_ Who?"

Neo held up her scroll. ' _Winter Schnee.'_

Vernal and Marron's mouths promptly dropped opened.

"HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!" screamed Illia.

The dorm burst into flames.

* * *

Winter was really regretting her life decisions.

She laid her face in her arms. Lights were out in her room and she sat at her desk.

Oh how she wished she could go back to the simple life of an Atlas Specialist. Where everything was on a need to know basis and all you have to do is follow orders.

Where you didn't meet time-traveling, dimensional jumping versions of your little sister and her team.

Where you didn't know said time-traveling, dimensional jumping version of your little sister basically had a screw loose in her brain.

Where you didn't know said said time-traveling, dimensional jumping version of your little sister took over the SDC on a whim through _debatable_ means.

Where you didn't have any idea that in a future other dimensional world you run the Atlas military.

Where you didn't get involved in teenager prom nights.

Where you didn't make the stupid decision to go to said prom with a girl around the same age as you who looks about thirteen.

"Don't worry, Winter," she muttered to herself. "You can take another night...just one more night. General Ironwood will be here tomorrow…"

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Man, poor Winter, poor Illia, poor Junior...basically poor anyone who isn't a dimensional jumping time traveler. And my story has officially diverged from canon! Or at least the future counterparts has. I guess you could chalk Vernal's powers to them not being transferred to Raven yet? idk. Welp, this is what happens when you write fanfic before the show ends. And if R vs. B is anything to go by, RWBY probably isn't ending any time soon (thankfully). Though seriously! These volumes should come out faster! ...alright, I know animation is hard work...but _still._**

 **Oh and 'Armed and Ready' is an awesome song, pun and all.**

 **And OMG we're over 100 in everything! Thank you guys so much!**

 **Beta is Bro as always.**

* * *

 **Omake XXVI: Power Rangers Jungle Fury x Red Rose (Oh gods)**

 **Requested By: merendinoemilliano**

Casey, Theo, Lily, RJ, Dominic, and Red ran up to the scene of Rinshi destroying the city.

...it happened, like, every week so everyone, even the civilians were used to it now.

Hence (maybe?) why the streets were already conveniently empty for the Power Rangers.

Oh and this week's special Rinshi Beast was a gecko! Joy!

"Ready!" called Casey, putting on his admittedly wicked red sunglasses.

"Ready!"

Theo and Lily did the same with their own sunglasses. RJ snapped down his morpher. Dominic's bracelet transformed. Red pulled off her necklace and it turned into a worryingly giant scythe.

"Jungle Beast: Spirit Unleashed!"

"With the strength of a tiger! Jungle Fury, Red Ranger!"

"With the stealth of a jaguar! Jungle Fury, Blue Ranger!"

"With the speed of a cheetah! Jungle Fury, Yellow Ranger!"

"With the power of a rhino! Jungle Fury, Rhino Ranger!"

"With the pace of a fox! Jungle Fury, Fox Ranger!"

"With the courage of a wolf! Jungle Fu-whoaaaaa."

RJ promptly collapsed. "Ugh...why is everything spinning?"

Red, in all her silver ranger glory, whistled.

"Red! What did you do?!" accused Theo.

The other Rangers stared at her.

"I totally didn't spike his morning cup of coffee so we could spend some more time together if that was what you were thinking!"

"...I uh...don't think we were," said Casey slowly.

Dominic hit a few Rinshi as they came too close.

Lily crossed her arms. "But now we are. Red, all of us have to be combat ready at all times."

"...how much alcohol did you put in there anyway?" asked an incredulous Dominic as he kicked away a Rinshi.

"Just a few drops of one of the most alcoholic shots ever created...crap!"

"I'm dying!" RJ exclaimed dramatically.

"Yohoo!" called Gecko Rinshi Beast. "I'm still here!"

"We'll deal with you later!" snapped Theo.

Red crouched down and poked RJ's chest. "Maybe werewolves are just more susceptible to alcohol?"

"Ugh…"

"He's technically not a werewolf," pointed out Lily.

She was ignored.

"Don't worry! We'll get you back to Jungle Karma Pizza in no time!" Red said cheerfully. She looked at Casey. "Right?"

"Oh god." Casey sighed. "Fine, fine. Red, take RJ back, he can't fight anyways."

With some incredible strength, Red lifted up RJ and put him on her shoulder.

"Great, see ya guys!"

She sped away.

Lily stared at Red's trails. "What..? I thought the cheetah was supposed to be the fastest, not the _fox."_

Theo tapped her shoulder. "Rinshi incoming!"

* * *

"I hate you so much right now," muttered a demorphed RJ as he took some pills from Fran's hand. He had decided not to trust Red with anything digestible for the time being...and possibly forever.

Red shrugged, leaning on a pillar of the de facto Jungle Fury Ranger base, also known as RJ's place.

RJ sat back in his chair. "Ugh... migraine. Hangover. All of the headaches."

Fran walked up the stairs. "Well, still got a pizza store to run! Uh…feel better!"

She left.

RJ frowned at Red. "We need to talk." He grimaced as another wave of migraine washed over.

"Hm?"

"You do not spike your elder's drinks. You do not poke your elder's chest. You do not haul your elder back to his pizza parlor, you do not-"

He was shut up by Red appearing in front of him and planting a kiss on his lips.

RJ pulled back. "God dammit, why do I love you again?"

* * *

 **Omake XXVII: Weiss's Summoning Gone Wrong RWB(Y)**

Weiss crashed close the door on Whitley. _Finally,_ some peace and quiet and no annoying little brother. She concentrated on her summoning, closing her eyes. A giant glyph appeared at the center of the room. It started turning...and a light enveloped the room.

"What the hell?! ...Weiss?"

Weiss's eyes flashed opened at the sound of a woman's voice.

...a woman with shoulder length blonde hair, a tan jacket, and a glove on one hand...and yellow cape for some reason.

"W-who?" _And summons aren't supposed to speak!_

"D'awwww you're so cute!"

 _Get away!_

The door slammed open. Best butler of the manor, Klein burst in. "Ms. Schnee, I heard yelling-uh...what is going on here?"

Blondie was currently snuggling a very ruffled Weiss. "Nothing weird," she said.

"This is child assault!"

* * *

That Yang and Weiss Reunion

Weiss sighed. Leave it to Yang to be loud. "Alright, well, subtlety is out."

Oh Oum, she really didn't want to summon _her._ But what choice did she have? Weiss concentrated and a glyph appeared.

A familiar blonde jumped out, banging her head on the top of the cage. "Ow! The hell?!" She blinked. "Oh hey, this is my mom's bandit camp. Never been in one of the cages before though..."

Weiss stared. "Your MOM?!"

She looked at Raven. "HER?!"

"Oh yeah, older though." Dragon waved at Raven. "Hi mom! Working on those Spring Maiden Powers of yours?"

Vernal's weapons clattered to the floor. "H-how?"

Raven was internally panicking but she hid it. After all, all she had to do was kill all the witnesses-aw shit, that meant her daughter too!

Meanwhile, Yang was left very confused. "What is going on here? And since when was my mom a maiden or whatever? And wait-how can she be the mother of a thirty-something year old?!"

"Rude! I'm 27! Show some respect for yourself!"

"Myself?! What?!"

Weiss facepalmed. "Yang, meet future Yang. Call her Dragon." She looked at Dragon. "And you! I'm still stuck in the cage! Uncage me!"

"Bossy~" Dragon snapped her fingers and the cage turned to ashes. "Done."

Weiss was promptly covered in the ash. She blew some off her face. "... _great job."_

Now Raven just wanted to cry. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Ma'am?" asked Vernal, eyes widening. "She's a Maiden too?"

"...why is my life so sucky? All I want to do is survive in peace!"

"Maybe you could do that if you didn't align yourself with Salem of all people!" called out Dragon.

"...in the future!" she added. "Oh but you turn good later so whatevs?"

"Good job beating Cinder's ass though, too bad it didn't kill her."

* * *

Meanwhile...

Cinder sneezed.

Emerald looked at her worriedly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" she snapped.

"Maybe someone was talking about you," theorized Mercury.

"Pfft!" Emerald laugh. "That isn't true! It's a myth! Only works in dumb stories!"

* * *

Everyone stared at Dragon.

She frowned. "Can we just sit down and have a nice discussion about the secrets of the world while you try to discreetly threaten my younger self and Weiss now?"

Raven lamented her existence.

* * *

 **Omake XXVIII: Poison CFVY**

 **Written By: TheSetupMage**

knockknockknockknockknock*

"Vel, could you get that? I'm busy with my makeup. Girl's gotta look her best, y'know?"

Velvet, clad in a christmas jumper(despite being mid-spring, as she bth loves to spread Christmas

"Aha! Vengeance will be mine! Prepare to die, Team CFVY!"

Tyrian, appearing like a Will Smith from the depths of one's own imagination, stood shirtless in front of the doorway.

"Oh, sorry! You probably want to come in, don't you?"

"No, just to kill you! Kill all of you bastards for what you did!"

thwack*

"No! Naughty! If you can't say something bad about someone without cussing, then you clearly don't know why you're saying something bad about them. And ummm... What was it we did to you in specific again? You'd be surprised by how many assassins we go through. There was even a man in a pink robe of some kind, who shattered Fox's aura with his tongue. I kicked his grenade back, though, and now we're kind of friends. Anyways, come in, you're letting out all the heat."

"O-kay, then... I'm going to kill you freaking sadists for cutting off my legs with a damn minigun, when I didn't even do anything!"

Velvet pulled out her scroll.

"Oh, okay, we're looking for the minigun phase, rapid fire arms came into trend seasons 3-4, you're definitely sure it was a minigun?"

"Oh, I don't know, it's not like it's burned into my memory as though it cut off my legs!"

"Hey, no need for the backsass, I'm just trying to get the facts right. Ah, yes, rapid-fire arms made a resurgence after Coco brought them back in season 11, so you'll be... Not Reese, she went back to skating, Penny's got a pretty telling backing track, along with a very dedicated entourage... Are you actually Ren?"

"That pathetic flower? Hah! Don't compare me to a dandy like that!"

"Hey, Ren, you're still valued! You took out two of the toughest Grimm alone!"

"I'm not Ren! Tyrian! REMEMBER MY NAME! *sob* Oh, why does nobody notice me?"

"Hey, I remember you now! Tyrian, huh? Man, people love you!"

"Th-*hic* they what?""They love you! After Torchwick used that Grimm to get away from Cinder and her cronies, you were the only source of charisma left! Everyone noticed your dedication to Salem, and how much fun you are, so we started rooting for you! All the ladies at beacon wanted a guy as fanatic as you, and it broke our hearts to see when Salem didn't return your affections."

"I just wanted somebody to notice me... To love me... And they've been there the whole time...?"

"Yeah, mate! And you're too good for Salem anyways! Just think-"

And with this, Velvet wrapped an arm around him, and swept the other in front.

"-You could be on any show, any film, any brand you wanted! People already think you're really, really, cool, so why not try some other things than mindless vengeance, when I think the person you're actually revenging upon" She tapped his heart "is in here."

"You're right... I hated myself for not being able to attract Salem's attention, but she can't think of anything but herself! But I'm Tyrian Callows! TYRIAN! CALLOWS! And I'm going to start a band!"

"Great! Do you have a name?"

"No, but I do have a song. One that I wrote for, but never gave to, Salem. Thus, I shall share it with the world. It goes 'There's no one like you! I can't wait for the nights with you! I imagine the things we'll do! I just wanna be loved by yoouuuu!'"

"Catchy, but you might want this." And she spawned a guitar.

"Jaune's. After the whole Weiss thing blew over, he got really into guitars."

"Well, thank you me dear, for everything you've done for me! But I still want to know, why did Coco shoot me?"

"Ah," Velvet scratched her head, embarrassedly. "That'll have been me. Sorry, I thought you were a stalker I warned me about."

"Wait...nevermind... After Salem, I was looking for another person to show me the way, and since there aren't any echidna faunus here, I started looking at team leaders, to see if they needed an extra pair of hands, and I was too scared by your leader's stern beauty to approach her."

"Oh, so it wasn't me, but Coco... Hold on a sec. COCO! THE GUY WAS TYRIAN! HE SAYS YOU'RE HOT!"

thunk*

Velvet grinned, and tossed a lightning dust pick to him.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself. Anyways, seen a Kevin due south, so I've got something to do for a couple hours. You crazy kids have fun!"

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses **

**Mobydicks: :)**

 **Dev the snake faunus: You go Dev! And next Omake Shadowclaw...this chapter is already way too long.**

 **blueanimelover123: *shrugs* who knows? (I say in a mysterious voice) No but seriously, Team RSBD plus Hohenheim are purposely avoiding silver eyes at the moment and so far Ladybug hasn't gotten there yet. And yup, I'll keep up the good work *thumbs up***

 **gerome945: Wut back, lol.**

 **merendinoemilliano: D'awww...kid(s)of Weiss and Yang! And I hope I didn't disappoint with the Omake. Haven't watched PR: JF in a looong time and Couldn't fit everything in or else it'd be way too long, but hey, it's your request, whatever you say is canon! And since there was already a red ranger, I decided silver (cause silver eyes).**

 **bwburke95: lol, I got sick of Time Travel stories where everyone's hiding facts about the future so yeah.**

 **TheSetupMage: Wowzee Velvet. You go you! Luv it. :) and meta is always cool!**

 **Xyander64: Yup, he probably does.**

* * *

 **Plz give Critisicm and Suggestions if you'd like.**

 **And if the story is deserving, Review, Favorite, and Follow!**

 **...I'm gonna take a break now.**


	20. The Dance!

**Chp XIX: The Dance!**

 **Disclaimer: Ruby is not mine.**

 **"Zzzzzzzzzzz."~ ARK**

* * *

"This was not a good idea, this was not a good idea, this was not a good idea," repeated Weiss over and over again. She nervously twisted the hem of her dress. "No, Weiss, you just _had_ to listen to your crazy time-traveling other dimensional self."

She paced around the ballroom, butterflies fluttering away in her stomach.

More and more people were filing into the room.

Hey, maybe Weiss would get lucky and Yang miraculously came down with small pox or something!

All her hopes were dashed as the blonde in question bursted into the auditorium.

...with a dress. Admittedly, Weiss may have blushed a little. _A little._

One date is better than no date _right?_ And it wasn't like she had her father to worry about anymore…

Weiss really had to ask Moon what she did with Jacques. She kept on forgetting to though.

* * *

 _Meanwhile…_

"Jacques honey, pour some more tea into my cup."

"Y-yes, of course W-"

" _Ms. Schnee_."

"Ms. Schnee…."

* * *

Yang ran up to Weiss. She looked around. "H-huh. Looks like we're early."

Indeed, there may be more and more people coming but at the moment these were only the extreme early birds. Minus some of the teachers, who pretty much had to come to deal with wayward kids.

"It seems so."

They stood there in a few agonizing moments of awkward silence.

"Sooooo...what are we supposed to do?" asked Yang, finally attempting to break the ice.

Weiss blew up. "How am I supposed to know?! I'm not the one who seems like they would have a perfectly good love life!"

Yang blinked. "...thanks?"

"You know what? Let's just get drinks and sit this out until more people come," decided Weiss. She turned on her heels and marched towards the food stand. She looked back. "And _no_ we do not have alcohol."

"Aww…" Yang followed her date for the night. "Hey? Just saying, my love life _is_ pretty amazing."

…that was totally a lie.

* * *

Ozpin sipped from his glass of wine. He watched Yang Xiao-Long and Weiss Schnee argue about some trivial things in the seating area.

"How on Remnant did those two get together?" wondered Ozpin.

Port boomed with laughter. "Well, they do say opposites attract!"

Since Moon had taken over first-year history, Professor Port was promoted to second-year...none of the second-year students seemed particularly happy for whatever reason. As for the second-year teacher? She was never important to Ozpin anyways.

Port was, however, not in the know of the time-travelers...actually, Ozpin had neglected to mention that the four mysteriously quickly hired new teachers happened to be Team RWBY from the future to all of his staff, minus Glynda who was always with him of course.

He was a responsible boss! He promised!

Glynda walked up to Ozpin with a sour look on her face. "General Ironwood should be here in forty one minutes."

"Ah." Ozpin couldn't help but poke fun at the seriously uptight woman. "Will you grace our guest with a dance?"

Glynda glared at him.

* * *

Sun nervously played with his tie. His monkey tail wagged back in forth nervously as he waited for his date by the entrance.

"Dude. Calm down," said Neptune, suddenly appearing by his side. He gave a smile and his teeth shined.

"Yeah, easy for you to say," muttered Sun, looking him up and down. "Who's your date anyway?"

"Uh...well…"

"Dude! No date?!"

"I, uh… ha, I'll be going now!" Neptune zoomed into the ballroom.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Sun felt betrayed his partner basically left him to rot. His tie tickled. "Oum! Stupid, dumb, useless ornament!"

"I think you look pretty nice in that 'stupid, dumb useless ornament'."

"Ah!" Sun jumped. He turned slowly to his right and gaped.

Blake Belladonna was in a dress. And it was suddenly really _hoooooot._

"Y-yeah, you look nice too…"

She linked her arm with Sun's. "Let's go and get this over with then."

"T-totally. Did I ever tell you I'm an expert dancer?"

Blake stared. "No."

"Well…"

* * *

Weiss's' eyebrow twitched as she watched Blake and Sun take the dance floor by storm.

"Oh great. Even the anti-social bookworm of the group could get a good date, but _nooooo_ , I'm stuck with a energetic social person who apparently _can't_ be a good date."

She sipped her coffee. Actually, she was the only one in the whole ballroom to get coffee.

Call it a nervous tick.

Yang spewed out her punch. "I can too be a good date! But all you want to do is sit here and not embarrass yourself or something!"

"Nonsense." Even though Yang totally hit the mark. " _You_ are supposed to do _something."_

"Like what?"

"Like-"

Ruby and Illia appeared at the door. Seeing the amount of people and hearing the (super scary) classical music instantly made Illia turned white. She backed away.

Ruby pulled her forward nervously.

Then the silver-eyed girl tripped on her high heels and fell to the floor.

Illia made no move to help her.

"Not like that," decided Weiss.

"Come on!" Yang moved to help her precious little sister.

"Oh dear," sighed a figure at the entrance. She walked into the ballroom to reveal Red in all her glory...wearing a crimson suit and a black tie. Plus a nice red rose pin on the breast of course.

Belladonna followed her, wearing a dark purple tailcoat with a violet tie. Her hands were hidden behind black leather gloves. Her hair had been pulled back, creating a gelled streamline effect.

Red helped her younger self up.

Ruby stared at her. "Are you telling me I could've just worn a suit?! No stupid high heels?!"

For the first time in...well, since that last time someone stole her cookies, Ruby Rose looked ready to murder.

"Yup," said Red cheerfully. She patted Ruby's head. "Welp, there's always next time."

Ruby glared at her.

Belladonna crossed her arms and coughed behind Illia.

Illia jumped. She turned hesitantly.

Belladonna looked at her pointedly. "You _will_ go on a _good_ date with Ruby." A low growl was added in for effect.

"Yes, ma'am!"

This time, it was Illia dragging Ruby away. Scary grown Blake was a scary grown person.

"I think you scared her," said Red.

"For a good cause." Belladonna let one of her eyes closed. The other looked at Red expectantly.

How could she refuse? Red held out a hand and winked. "Would you dance with me, my dear?"

Belladonna smiled. "Of course."

She took Red's hand and was pulled onto the dance floor.

Yang was left staring. Weiss caught up to her.

"...damn, Ruby gets real smooth when she's older," muttered Yang.

"People change," said Weiss matter-of-factly. She shivered, oh yes they did. But don't worry, _Weiss_ wasn't going to change.

An image of Moon popped up in her head. No. _Never._

She was going to be like her sister. Strong, strict, awesome in _every way._

Then Winter came in holding Neo's hand.

Weiss's mouth dropped to the ground. "W-what?!"

"Huh, I guess you're right," said Yang.

Weiss throttled her. "No! This shouldn't be happening! This defies _logic!"_

"W-woah, calm down there Snow Queen!"

Weiss wanted to break something. Why is her life breaking down before her eyes?!

"And don't call me Snow Queen!"

Yang decided she had to do something with mentally unstable Weiss. She grabbed the heiress's wrist.

"Yeah, yeah, Ice Queen. Hey! Why don't we have a little private date outside? I'm pretty sure there was a nice balcony somewhere around here!"

"Don't call me-wait, excuse me?"

Yang took the lead. She couldn't believe _she_ was the one calming someone down and the Ice Queen of all people.

Her life was weird.

Somewhere along the way, her hand went from Weiss's wrist to her hand.

* * *

Dragon elbowed Moon. "You gotta admit, that was cute."

They had just entered the ballroom. Dragon was wearing a tan suit with a purple tie. A piece of white cloth hung down from the white side of her waist. Moon simply changed her tuxedo to an even more expensive light blue tuxedo (aka a hell lot more money than most people made in their lifetime). She had put up her hair with a red crystal pin.

"Mmhm." Moon watched her younger self being pulled towards the balcony. She looked at Dragon. "Not as cute as you though."

Dragon kissed her on the cheek. "D'awww."

"Yes, yes." Moon took her hand. "Now let's go. I need to stake out for Pyrrha and Jaune. Everything _must_ go smoothly."

"Hm...at least we get teacher's benefits." Dragon looked up to the second floor where Ozpin was standing. "I could use a drink.

Moon rolled her eyes. She lead Dragon upstairs. "You drink every other day."

"It's not my fault Maiden Powers include not getting hangovers! Blame Ozpin, the guy probably did it on purpose."

Moon smiled. "Sure, sure."

* * *

Ren was _beyond_ embarrassment.

Why did he agree to this again?

Because he'd do anything for Nora.

He _so_ regrets that.

Think happy thoughts, Ren. Activate your semblance to wash away all those negative emotions!

Probably how he managed to live this long.

"Come on Renny, dance!"

Oh Oum no!

Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Don't think about what you're wearing! Happy thoughts in rainbow land! Happy thoughts~

* * *

"Don't worry, you look wonderful!" reassured Pyrrha.

Nora had just forcefully dragged a traumatized looking Ren away to the dance floor, leaving Jaune and Pyrrha at the entrance.

...that is besides Hohenheim, but really, Hohenheim didn't count.

"Have fun, you love birds!" chirped Hohenheim, not even looking up from the scroll in his hand. He wandered away.

Come to think of it. Hohenheim hadn't even bothered dressing up for the Prom! He was still in his lab coat.

That seriously bugged Jaune. Though he guess he had no right to companion seeing as Hohenheim _had_ done an amazing job with him.

Jaune fidgeted with the wing pin on his silver coat. "You look really nice too, Pyrrha."

The compliment wasn't just to be nice. Pyrrha genuinely looked stunning. Her red hair somehow seemed to sparkle in the light, it was tied up loosely yet professional looking at the same time. She wore a bright red dress that swept all the way down to her feet. The right side had shiny scales running down to the waist. She only wore an earring in her left ear, a single gold bud.

Pyrrha blushed. "W-well, I had help."

Coco, who was in a group of girls, gave a thumbs up from the far corner of the ballroom.

How she heard, Jaune had no clue. And how Pyrrha managed to get a popular second-year to help her, he had even less clue.

Argh, it wasn't the time for that!

On the bright side (?) Jaune didn't have to say anyone helped him because _technically_ he helped himself.

 _Technically._

"W-well, uh...I guess we dance?" _Real smooth, Arc._

Pyrrha giggled. "I would love to."

Jaune nervously wrapped an arm around her waist...just like how his sister taught him to. "Let's do it then."

Moon let out a loud: " _yes!"_

The other teachers stared at the woman eagerly leaning on the edge of the railings.

Dragon waved their attention away with a bright smile...and glowing red eyes,

The teachers hurriedly looked away.

" _Finally,"_ said Moon. "...ten years in the making."

"Well, technically-"

"Shhhh. Let me bask in my hard work, buttercup."

 _What hard work?! All you did was convince Hohenheim to convince Jaune! ...semester break got you nowhere so it can't count._

Somehow, even though Moon was very different from her seventeen years old self. More accepting, more willing to show emotions, less bossy…

She was still an egoistic bitch.

And Dragon loved her anyways. "However long it takes for you to absorb all of it, Ice Queen."

* * *

"HOW DO YOU DO THIS DANCING THING?!" screamed Vernal in abject fury. The sides of her eyes burst on fire. A vase cracked on the other side of the room.

Marron was feeling very motivated to get the fuck out of there. He would rather stay in _one_ piece, thank you very much.

Being in two pieces would be a real pain the butt anyways. Like, would you have to poop from both pieces? Eat from both pieces?

Marron looked around hurriedly for an escape. "Hey, look! It looks like we don't _need_ to dance!"

"WHAT?!"

By the drinks, a red-haired guy's ass burst on fire.

His green haired partner laughed at him.

* * *

General Ironwood entered the ballroom. Penny and a band of Atlas soldiers followed behind him. All and all, they were pretty menacing.

"Do what you want," ordered Ironwood (yes, _ordered_ ). He glanced at Penny, who stiffly nodded.

She got the memo.

Then Ironwood hurried towards the upper floor. He passed by Winter and a little girl doing a classical dance together as he made-

Wait.. _.what?_

Ironwood hurriedly backpedaled and turned. "Specialist Schnee?"

Winter let go of Neo asap.

"Oh hello General Ironwood! I have been awaiting your return!" She bowed to further emphasize the 'evil overlord returning from quest and loyal servant welcomes him to show her innocence' theme.

Neo stared. Her eyes shifted colors on purpose...she totally wanted to unnerve this Atlas military guy.

Ironwood was thoroughly unnerved, though for more than just the eye color changing thing.

"...it is nice to see you too, Specialist Schnee...though if I may ask, why are you dancing with a prepubescent girl?"

He was promptly propelled into the wall by a gust of air.

Neo mocked a huff indigently, grabbed Winter by the arm, turned on her heels, and walked away.

Winter was despairing on how her life would never be normal again, General Ironwood or no General Ironwood.

Ironwood sluggishly slid out of the fabulous crater he had made.

"What on Remnant…?" he muttered.

"And that is why you don't piss off Maidens," said a blonde man nonchalantly as he passed by. "...they really do like to do bodily harm…"

 _What kind of freak-show school is Ozpin running here?!_

Ironwood smoothed out his uniform and picked a few cement splinters out of it. He decided he would have to deal with Winter later...he _did_ have a dance to ask a hand for, afterall.

He made his way to the second 'Teachers (and important guests) Only' floor. As always, by Ozpin's side was the beautiful _true_ maiden Glynda Goodwitch.

Damn, Ozpin was a lucky bastard and he didn't even know it! Or acknowledge it for that matter.

Ironwood pushed past a portly man and a man with the worst cut green hair he had ever seen to reach his love.

She stared at him. In obvious wonder of course. After all, they were the perfect match.

James Ironwood coughed. He held out a lustrous hand. "May I have the ho-"

"Glynda!" the blonde man from before slid in front of Ironwood. He extended his hand so informally, Ironwood was of half a mind to punch him. "I've had your number for ten years now. Let's make something out of it, shall we?"

Ozpin sipped his dark coffee from Juniper Mug. He raised an eyebrow. "Hmmm?"

Glynda blinked. Then she smiled (which Ironwood immediately proclaimed as a _fake_ smile).

"Very well." She took the blonde man's hand and left with him to the dance floor. She glanced at Ozpin. "Classical music with vocals," she said, before disappearing from sight.

Ironwood was left on the sidelines, heart forever shattered. "W-what jus-just...?" He couldn't even finish a sentence out loud.

"Better luck next time~," sang Ozpin.

 _Ten years! He's had her scroll number for_ ten _years! Why don't_ I _have her scroll number?!_

Meanwhile, Ozpin took another sip from Juniper Mug. "Hm...I don't _usually_ allow student/teacher relationships…"

Ironwood fainted.

"Oh dear."

* * *

Glynda looked at Hohenheim as they descended down the stairs.

"That was smooth."

Hohenheim grinned. "I aim to please. Besides, the guy _so_ deserved it."

He never did like Ironwood.

"Agreed." Glynda hummed. "Do you really have my phone number?"

"Please, I never lie."

"Oh and just as a side note. This is a one time thing. I don't want my girlfriend to castrate me."

* * *

"Ugh!" Salem slammed her fists down onto her pitch black obsidian table. "How can they all be so damn happy?!"

'They' being the attendees to that atrocious _prom night_ Ozpin had set up...just to get her, Salem bet. The seer in front of her wiggled its tentacles.

Hazel scratched his chin. "They don't _all_ look happy."

Case in point: that silver eyed girl and that chameleon faunus...they were just awkwardly standing next to each other at the punch table.

Oh but then cat lady from the same team as silver eyed girl went over to the chameleon faunus to offer her a dance, now leaving an awkward silver eyed girl by herself. But don't worry! Weird orange haired girl who walks around with Atlas soldiers went to cheer her up!

"Hmm…" Arthur Watts slid his fingers together. "They may not look happy...but not particularly said either."

Tyrian giggled. "Why, _I_ could change that! Just order me, my goddess!"

Watts looked at him in disgust, not even bothering to hide it.

They really were a cheery bunch.

"No," snapped Salem. "I don't need more of my evil plans being shredded to pieces."

"...and when will Cinder be ready?"

"Ma'am," said Watts. "Perhaps Ms. Fall is just incapable of accomplishing manual tasks such as these."

"I believe _I_ am much more...accomplished, shall we say?"

"After all, she even managed to lose the White Fang, ties to the criminal underworld, _and_ her apprentices….quite impressive actually."

He certainly did not hesitate in throwing his colleague under a bus...and then promptly jumping into the bus, driving over the body, back pedaling to _make sure_ the body was properly decimated, and then driving over it again...and as an added insurance, firing an atomic bomb at it.

" _Quiet,"_ hissed Salem. "I have plans for _all_ of you. Now, Cinder will redeem herself or she won't be around to do much of anything anymore."

Salem looked into her Seer. "In the meantime, a little fun wouldn't hurt…"

Hazel blinked. "But there's barely any negative emotions."

"No, that's why it's a _little_ fun. Pay attention."

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

Belladonna felt a buzz in her pant pocket. She frowned.

Red stopped in mid-sway. "What was that?"

"I turned off everything but the proximity alarms."

" _Of course._ None of our dances can ever be devoid of interruptions!"

Belladonna kissed the top of Red's head. She grinned and her amber eyes glowed.

"I imagined something like this would pop up, so I asked Hohenheim to build and install some weapons...I heard they were all prototypes."

Red nodded slowly. "Ah…"

"And Moon's summons are on guard duty tonight. She agreed beforehand."

"How did you know there was going to be an attack?"

Belladonna snorted. "Please. It happens _every time_ we're at an important event."

"...either that or we cause our own conflict."

"Hm...I wonder how we're not banned from important events."

"No, we're just banned from most places we visit more than once. Remember the historical sight of the 'Unicorn' statue? We broke it. They chased us out."

"Yeah, but Ozpin said that was just something he made up when he was a little kid playing with clay! ...kinda stupid how it became a religious figure head."

"...really though, I feel bad for whoever decided to attack today," said Red nonchalantly.

"Mm."

* * *

A miniature of a Seer appeared in Moon's hand. She smiled. "Belladonna was right on the mark, as always."

"Huh?" asked Dragon.

"Grimm are attacking. I just gave the go to my summons."

"Got it." Dragon swallowed another shot, numb to the effects. She kicked back in her chair. "I'm going to take today off."

Moon nodded. "Agreed."

She joined Dragon on the chair.

* * *

Pepe the Penguin sounded the alarms for enemies approaching. His webbed feet waddled around the control room, i.e the auditorium.

The White Knight pushed the security button….aka the giant red button.

Suddenly, Beacon's courtyard began to shift. It connected and separate pieces until it became something that resembled a battleship.

Rail guns lined the perimeter. Bombs rested in their place at the center. Drones flew out from compartments. A compartment opened up from the ground. Out emerged the first mobile suit that would ever be tested.

Hohenheim called it the 'Unicorn Gundam'. The White Knight jumped into it. It was around the length of a giant Nevermore.

The approaching league of Grimm skidded to a halt at the menacing sight. Then they were charging again.

Pepe smiled widely (as much as a penguin could) and rubbed his flippers together. He plopped into the commander's seat.

Oh yes, there would be a bloodbath tonight!

Mertle had been stolen from Dragon's Wally and set to the side. Just in case Pepe needed something for self-defense.

The turtle yawned.

They had a mutual agreement. 'Don't bother me unless it's fucking important'.

* * *

' _I never felt that it was wise to wish too much.'_

Hohenheim stopped in his tracks.

Glynda frowned. "That's not classical music."

She looked at Hohenheim across from her, who had suddenly stopped dancing and _Oum_ he was a good dancer.

' _To dream too big would only lead to being crushed.'_

"Is something the matter?"

' _When I met you, you weren't afraid of anything. You taught me how to leave the ground. To use my wings.'_

Hohenheim smiled faintly. "No. Nothing. This song is just very dear to me."

' _I never thought a hero would ever come my way. But more than that I never thought you'd be taken away.'_

He turned his attention to his younger self and his date, a certain red haired Spartan. "Yeah, it's just very dear to me."

He shook his head and looked at Glynda. "Now we have to keep up impressions right? Let's dance."

* * *

"WHAT?! A straight flush?" whined Yang. "Come on!"

Weiss smirked. "I believe I win this round...like every other round so far."

"I won a few!" Yang glared at her. "Are you _sure_ you haven't ever played poker? Are you fishing me?"

"What on Remnant is that?"

"So innocent," muttered Yang.

"Am not!"

"Sure, Ice Queen."

The wind suddenly picked up and blew in their faces. Weiss pulled up the orange scarf Yang had given her to keep away the cold.

"I strongly dislike that nickname."

"Snow Queen."

"There is no difference!"

Weiss took Yang's cards out of her hand and shuffled them unceremoniously together with her own cards and the pile.

She glared. "If I win, you can't call me any of those nicknames forever."

"Weissssss," whined Yang.

"Yes or no."

"This can't be fair."

"Yes or no."

" _Please_ call this off."

Yang totally knew she, as a gambler at heart, could not refuse. And that sucked because her luck today had been astronomically bad...or Weiss was just scary good at poker.

' _Now it's cold without you here, it's like winter lasts all year. But your star's still in the sky. So I won't say goodbye. I don't have to say goodbye.'_

Weiss's eyes gleamed. "I like this song. Maybe I could sing it."

"Oh that's right. You sing."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Well...I haven't actually ever heard you sing."

"R-really?" Weiss stammered. "That's...amazing."

"Yup, I'm pretty amazing."

Yang decided to stand up. She held out a hand. Weiss took it and pulled herself off the ground. The heiress had a confused look on her face.

"Yang, what-"

"Shhh, we haven't danced yet, right?"

Weiss blushed. "Wait, _now_ you remember?"

Yang pulled her to the balcony door. "Let's go then!"

"W-wait!"

* * *

' _My days of doubt were in the past with you around. You helped me feel I had a place, direction found.'_

Pepe pressed a button. A bomb flew into the sky. It landed a few seconds later in the middle of a wave of boarbatusk, obliterating them.

The White Knight controlled Gundam Unicorn. It released a beam saber and stabbed through an incoming Nevermore. Then it kicked away Deathstalker.

Pepe wondered what the green button did. So obviously he pressed it.

The rail guns fired...fireworks. Colorful confetti rained on the Creatures of Grimm. No harm was done to them, but they wailed in horror at the sight and feel of such _happy_ things.

Pepe blinked. He tilted his head. _Interesting._

The White Knight pulled a rocket launcher from the 'Gundam Unicorn's back. It fired it. The Creatures of Grimm, still horrified by rainbow confetti could do nothing about it.

Then the lights went out on the Gundam Unicorn and it dropped to the ground. The White Knight kicked open the cockpit. It waved its hands indigitantly.

Pepe shrugged.

* * *

' _You showed me a greater dream can be achieved. Enough resolve will conquer if we believe.'_

"Hohenheim! Why on Remnant did you build a giant mech that can only work for a few minutes?!" yelled Moon.

People stared.

Hohenheim decided to yell back. "Because it was freaking cool! And I loved the anime!"

"Well now we have a giant hunk of metal!"

"I'm sure I can reuse it somehow!"

"You better! Even I don't have infinite money!"

Conversation over, Moon took a sip from her $50 coconut juice.

Dragon frowned. "Are you really short on money?"

"No, I'd just rather not be funding Hohenheim's hobbies."

"I see."

* * *

 _'The light you gave to guide me will never fade away. But moving forward never felt as hard as today.'_

Pepe was no ordinary penguin. No, he could control a multitude of rail guns at the _same time_ without batting a nonexistent eyelash.

Actually, it got really boring after a while. He and the White Knight could be stamping on worms for all the difference it'd make.

Though Pepe was a _tad_ worried about the property damage they would be facing. Ah well, the master will pay for everything, she always does. Like that giant tuna he had wanted for his birthday!

The White Knight slammed his sword into the ground, sending a rippling effect throughout the Grimm. Now there was only one wave left.

The White Knight was ready to rush in and exterminate them all. Pepe sqwacked. _He_ would be the one to do so. They stared at each other.

Pepe's flippers were suddenly holding up a set of cards.

The White Knight walked up to him.

 _Qwack!_

 _Qwack!_

 _Qwack!_

The White Knight revealed rock. Pepe held up the card with paper scribbled onto it.

Pepe laughed at the White Knight.

The White Knight crossed its arms and glowered.

Pepe unleashed the missiles onto the Grimm.

Tata.

* * *

"It seems we have underestimated the sheer abilities of Penguins," noted Watts sagely.

"My highness!" preached Tyrian. " _I_ shall exterminate the Penguin and the Knight and all that stand in your way for you, just give me the order!"

"Not my business," said Hazel shortly.

"All of you, _shut up_ ," Salem snarled. "I am not in a good mood. Leave me!"

"Of course, my highness. Whatever you say!"

"As you say, ma'am."

"Not my business."

* * *

"W-wow, day's almost over, huh?" commented Ruby.

Penny jumped up and down besides her. "Yes! Today has been oh so wonderful!"

Ruby sniffed. "Maybe for you...my date's somewhe...?"

Illia was coming up to the two lonely dorks. She stopped in front of Ruby and looked away, her spots becoming pink.

"I-uh..."

"Yeah?" Ruby asked.

"I would like to dance with you for the last few minutes of the prom!" let out Illia quickly.

Ruby blinked. Then she grinned. "Sure, why not!"

She took Illia's hand and was lead to the dance floor.

 _'Now it's cold without you here. It's like winter lasts all year. But your star's still in the sky. So I won't say goodbye. I don't have to say goodbye.'_

* * *

 **Author's Notes: ...I wanna sleep. Bye.**

 **Beta is Bro**

* * *

 **Omake XXIX: Time-Traveling in Style**

"Renny!" called Nora. "I think I've got something!"

Ren let Shadowclaw eat the rest of the Grimm remains splattered all over the forest ground.

Though seriously, when is the owner of this dinosaur going to pick him up?

"Yes?"

"It's a scroll! Uh...the paper kind!"

Nora came running through the forest with Gally at her legs.

"See?"

Ren read the side of the scroll. "'Open and You Shall Rewrite Your Least Desirable Past (in another dimension)'...this sounds dangerous."

"Which is why we're going to open it!"

"...what?"

"I'm tired of living a normal person's life and not almost getting killed every five minutes!"

Oh Oum, there was something seriously wrong with his fiancée.

He noticed that the scroll was now missing from his hands.

"Nora-"

Too late. Light enveloped the two...plus their less than natural pets.

* * *

"Do you believe in-"

Blinding light flashed, distracting Cinder and Pyrrha.

They looked over to see a man, a woman, a weird looking reptile, and a giant weird looking reptile with a lot of teeth.

The woman blinked. She tugged on the man's sleeve. "...Ren is it me or is that Pyrrha?"

"I see Cinder as well."

"Juts checking to see if I had fallen into the deep, deep end of insanity!"

The man face palmed. "I'm guessing we're here to save Pyrrha."

Cinder's hand burst into flames. "Ha! It won't be that easy, whoever you people-"

"Roar!" Shadowclaw charged at the Fall Maiden. In one fell swoop, he caught Cinder between his teeth and swallowed her.

He burped.

Pyrrha scrambled backwards in fear.

"...that sure was anti-climatic," said the man.

The woman skipped to the menacing looking lizard that just ate the Fall Maiden like she was a chocolate bar.

"That's a good Shadowclaw, that's a good Shadowclaw!

Shadowclaw almost...purred?

* * *

 **XXX: Like a RANNBBZ in the dark!**

 **By: TheSetupMage**

"Ah, the one month anniversary of Team RANNBBZ! We should do something to celebrate!" Chimed Bolin, repeatedly dodging the stinger of a Deathstalker. Man, Vacuo sucks.

"Get matching armours?" Brawnz suggested, whilst punching a Creep in the face. Actually, they're pretty much all face. Whilst punching a Creep.

"Tip cattle?" Nolan proffered, before being hit in the head with a kickflip from Reese, who repeated the action when she saw the number beneath her soar.

"A week of quiet meditation, solidarity and herb gardening, before rewatching badly dubbed kung fu movies?" asked Arslan, decking a Beringel in the schnozz.

"Hah! You and May are just the same!" Chided Brawnz "Always watching at that Mistralian crap instead of something like a Spruce Willis movie. Least yours doesn't have tentac-manga is literature!" He cried, upon seeing the hint of a glint in the distance. Silly Brawnz, if she was going to kill you? You wouldn't have seen it that easily. May lowered the scope of her rifle, and relaxed once more into the crook of her nevermore.

"Might check that out, then...*sigh* Look, so, I was thinking, Brawnz. Is it okay if we ask what happened to Roy?" Asked Arslan, who was backed up by Bolin, Reese, and Nadir falling in line behind her.

"I knew you'd ask eventually. He... Was a good man. Fought like a chainsaw. Thing is, that don't matter when you get carted off by a nevermore.""Oh god..."

A shot rang out in sympathy.

"Yeah, and when that happens, it's...*sniff* only inevitable. *sob* That you get the sniffles!"

"Wait, what?"

"He can control Nevermores. He just wanted to get away from the battle. Thing is, at 40,000 ft, you tend to get bad hypothermia. He's bedridden on his mother's orders until he gets better! Ahahahaha!" Brawnz cackled into his fist.

"So, the person who is theoretically the most powerful being on remnant, is currently eating crumpets and coco with marshmallows in?"

"Yup!"

"That IS hilarious. All we have is Nolan here. He couldn't even hit me."

"Hey!"

"Really?" Arslan stepped in front of his barrel. "Do it."

"Alright, so I will! Whoa!" The recoil from his gun tugged every shot around her as he held down the trigger. However, every bullet ricocheted into the skulls of a swarm of Lancers that had been building up.

"That's some semblance you got there, Nadir."

"Wait, that was my semblance? How did you know and me not?"

"Because my semblance is mystical prophecy bullshit. Or a fear of stone tables, I'm not entirely sure. Bolin's is whimsical voodoo flipping, yours is beneficial inaccuracy, and Reese's seems to be getting money and clothes whenever she pulls off a sweet string of tricks."

"I can now dress as Jar Jar Rose!"

"Neat. So, are we done here?"

What adventures await them in the Vacuan province of Thataway? Tune in next week! Same ARK time! Same ARK channel!

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **snoongenz: Welp, with a story ya need the unexpected!**

 **Dev the snake faunus: have you ever thought...hmm...maybe my characters are literally all Gary Stus? Lol, hope ya liked Shadowfang's murder of Cinder.**

 **merendinoemilliano: Hn, his name is now Marron. Which is close to Marruon (idk). And isn't messed up stories the point for him! Though if you don't want to read them that's fine. Thanks for all the luv for the last chapter!**

 **TheSetupMage: Oh gods that's a lot of references :).**

 **Xyander64: here to try and make people laugh so it's great to see people enjoy it and thanks for the shipnames from that ridiculous chart that exists for some reason!**

 **Nightwing2013: I try :)**

 **Treefrogger: Too many characters right now...but I think I will be adding more TTs, look forward to them in the future! ... pun totally intended.**

* * *

 **Constructive Critisicm and Suggestions!**

 **Reviews, Favorites, and Follows!**


	21. Your Everyday Field Trip (Pt 1)

**Chp XX: Your Everyday Field Trip (Pt 1.)**

 **Disclaimer: Do not own RWBY, surprise!**

 **"I was always the one who didn't want to go on the school field trip because there would be no electronics...I was a lonely kid." ~ ARK**

* * *

There are moments in life you just don't miss.

Like getting the chance to see your long dead dog again.

Moon frowned. "Don't get me wrong. I love Zwei, but how is it that you two are putting Zwei over your _father_ in terms of priority?"

"...even I didn't do that," Moon added flatly.

"Because! Well…" Dragon held up a finger. "Uh…"

"No answer."

"One of them isn't dead!" said Dragon triumphantly.

Team RSBD leisurely walked to Team RWBY's dorm. Well...Red was dragging Belladonna, who was reading a book on her scroll. But _otherwise,_ they were doing something completely normal. A rarity indeed.

...then Dragon kicked open the door to the dorm a _little_ too hard.

As in she sent the door flying to the other side of the room and cracking into three pieces. Blake jumped and hit the ceiling with her head, having been on her bed.

"...oops."

The other members of Team RSBD didn't even bat an eyelash.

"I'll pay," said Moon.

"Woah…" said Yang, holding a cylinder shaped package. "I wanna be able to do that!"

"No," shot down Weiss immediately. She crossed her arms. "Just no."

She looked between the destroyed door and the doorway that was now missing the 'door' part of the word.

"So...why you guys here?" asked Ruby. "Did something happen? Are you forcing us to do something? If so, I really, _really_ don't want to be a part of it."

Red let go of Belladonna. The cat-faunus layed on the floor...still reading. She suddenly blushed.

"No, what gave you such an idea?" asked Red with mock innocence.

Ruby pointed an accusatory finger at her older self. "Because that's what happens every single time you people enter this room!"

She made an X sign with her arms.

"No more fights where you kick our butts. No more 'training sessions'. No more crazy meetings. No more playing matchmaker!"

"I think I make a very good matchmaker," huffed an offended Moon.

"No. More. Shenanigans!" declared Ruby.

"...no more bringing in criminals and terrorists," added Blake.

"Blake," said Dragon.

"...yes?"

"You're a terrorist."

"Former," corrected Belladonna automatically. Her eyes were still glued to her screen. Her skin was now flushed for whatever reason.

"No _more_ ," empathized Blake. "And _yes,_ I'm a _former_ terrorist."

"That all seems very hypocritical," said Ruby, tilting her head.

Yang pulled her sister into a bear hug. "Aww...I'm so proud! You're using big words now!"

Red stole the cylinder package Yang was holding in her hand. She moved so fast, Yang didn't notice anything different while hugging Ruby.

Red reappeared in a flurry of rose petals and laughed evilly. "Mwahahaha! I have been waiting for this-!"

"Why are none of you concerned with the fact that Belladonna is reading erotica right in front of you?!" screamed Weiss. She attempted to pull her hair out.

"It's very informative erotica," said Belladonna as a rebuttal, eyes still not leaving the screen.

Blake covered her face in shame...something her older self was lacking at the moment.

" _Ahem._ Let me try that again," said Red. She coughed into a fist. "Okay-MWAHAHAHA, I have been waiting for this day since-since we got here!"

"Hmm…" Moon frowned. "I think you messed up."

"Quiet, imbecile!"

Ruby zoomed to a twitching Weiss's side. "I would never say that. Really, really, really!"

When your older self already said that, that was very hard to believe.

Red uncapped the cylinder. She turned it upside down and shook it.

A grey mess of fur fell out. It plopped to the floor.

Weiss and Blake blinked.

The furry mess suddenly jumped. It unfurled into a familiar corgi.

"ZWEI!" Moon practically jumped on the dog. She grabbed Zwei and tickled his stomach. "Who's a good dog? Yes, you are! We missed you!"

Team RWBY gaped at the happy emotions displayed by Future-Weiss of all people.

"...I knew you'd be gung-ho about Zwei," said Dragon. "Now let me have him!"

"No!"

Zwei barked.

Belladonna had retreated from her position on the floor to her younger-self's bed...it was a really tight fit.

Blake was uncomfortably squeezed in a corner. Her arm dangled outside the bed but there was no way she was going down there.

There was a _dog._ This. Was. _War..._ also, what was a dog doing in the mail? Actually, how on Remnant did the dog _fit_ in there? Oh lord, a condensing dog. Any person's worst nightmare!

"Come on! He's _my_ dog!" Dragon leaped at Moon. Moon dodged her.

"I thought Zwei was _Red's_ dog too."

Red's eye glinted. "He is! So hand him over! It's been forever since I pet a dog!"

"Why can't you just buy a dog?! I know you want one!" Moon exclaimed.

"Belladonna doesn't let me!"

Team RS_D become a jumbled mess of limbs as they all tried to get Zwei.

Belladonna sighed. "Really. All for a dog…"

"...technically Zwei is _our_ dog," pointed out Yang as she watched from the sidelines.

"I don't think they would listen, sis," said Ruby.

Meanwhile, Weiss was feeling depressed about the fact that the corgi _was_ cute and she couldn't hold him.

Ruby picked up the cylinder container Red had dropped onto the floor. She shook it. "Hey, I think there's still something in-"

A pile of dog food cans came rushing out of the container. It stopped at about waist height.

"...here."

 _Clang!_ That was the can opener.

Yang nodded. "Dad always sends the necessities."

Weiss twitched. "Necessities?! Your dad could be filed for animal abuse!"

Ruby blinked. "What for?"

A boot embedded itself into the wall next to the doorway, missing Ruby by less than an inch. She spun from the force.

"Whoaaaa!"

"Sorry!" called Red.

Weiss began her entourage on animal rights. "That adorable corgi could've died from being sent in the mail-"

"Nah," dismissed Yang. "The steroids keep him nice and healthy." She walked over to Ruby.

"STEROIDS?!" Weiss balked. "STEROIDS?!"

Blake shivered in misery. Not _just_ a disgusting, condensing dog, a disgusting condensing dog on _steroids._

Belladonna patted her head in sympathy. "You have no idea what it's like to live with him."

...Zwei got old. And senile dogs don't exactly know where to go potty...add to the already bad combination an excess amount of dust-infused steroids…

Well, there were quite a lot of home repairs going on in the last few months of Zwei's existence.

Belladonna had forever buried the memories in the back of her mind. Now they were _coming bac_ k and it was horrifying.

She quickly went back to reading her educational erotica.

Yang took the cylinder package from Ruby's hand. She looked inside. "Hey, there's a note from dad!"

" _Dear girls, I've gotta leave the island for a few days, so I'm sending Zwei to you to take care of. Enclosed is all the food you should need. Love you both, Taiyang."_

"That's nice," said Yang, throwing the note to the side.

"Wait-we're going to have the dog with us for _days?"_ asked Weiss.

Yang smiled at her. "Looks like it."

"Yes!" Weiss turned to the still fighting 'mature' future RWBY. "Did you hear the news? Now as the only person not properly introduced who wants to be introduced, let me have him!"

She was met with three loud "NO"s.

Weiss deflated. Yang put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, there's always lat-"

" _Would all first-year students report to the auditorium?"_ went through the intercom. " _And...ahem, all wayward teachers too, that is an order."_

"-er…" finished Yang.

Zwei flew out of the flurry of red, white, and gold and landed into Blake's laps.

He tilted his head and rolled out his tongue.

"Ahh!" Blake unceremoniously threw him out the window.

She looked ready to have a heart attack.

Belladonna rubbed her on the back absentmindedly. "Breathe, breathe...and also, good riddance. Good job."

Weiss paled. "NOOOO!"

Red zoomed to the doorway and grabbed her boot. She pulled it out of the wall. Then she put it back on. "Well...that happened."

Moon smoothened out her hair. "Indeed. Now I believe Glynda called for us?"

"We were supposed to be at the Teacher's Conference," supplied Belladonna. "Obviously, we missed it."

"Moon!" whined Dragon. "Give me back my arm!"

Moon was holding Dragon's robot arm. In their battle of epic proportions for Zwei, Moon had detached it. She pointed the arm at Dragon.

"No."

"Give me a hand here!"

Moon facepalmed. "Definitely no. We _talked_ about these arm puns."

"But you've got to _hand_ it to me-"

Moon released the rocket function on the robot arm. She let it go. It slammed into Dragon's stomach. Sent her into the wall, _through_ the wall, and finally, into Team JNPR's dorm.

"Thanks for the hand!" called Dragon.

Jaune nearly jumped out of his pants. "My cute baby nevermore!" He looked between the hole now in the wall and the crater now in the floor. "...please don't tell me we have to pay for that."

"Nice curse, Jauney boy," said Dragon. "And I won't tell you you have to pay for that. (You do)."

It was at that moment Pyrrha walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body...and well, nothing else.

She blinked. "W-what?"

"Hello Pyrrha!" said Nora. "Like our guest?"

Ren sighed.

Pyrrha looked at the giant hole in the wall. Her face turned bright red, matching her hair.

"I, uh...it was nice seeing you, goodbye!" She quickly retreated back into the bathroom.

Weiss pinched her nose. "This isn't how we leave our room for a one week trip! I swear, if one more thing breaks-"

Blake's bed collapsed. Belladonna landed on her feet...of course. She swiftly pocketed her scroll and caught a startled Blake.

"...you jinxed it," Belladonna said.

"What?! It wasn't my fault!" denied Weiss.

Moon was already walking out of the room. "Let's go, ladies. It's field trip day."

Ruby blinked. "But Zwei's still in the courtyard somewhere…"

"He could always hunt some Grimm," said Belladonna. She let Blake down.

"...true," condescended Ruby.

"Animal abuse!" shouted Weiss.

"You're using the word in the wrong context," said Red. She followed Moon out the doorway. "Besides, you _could_ always take Zwei with you."

Weiss frowned. "That can't be allowed." ... _but_ she was tempted.

Yang gave her a thumbs up. "Come on, Zwei knows his name. We'll listen to the announcement stuff and then get him."

"Yes!" Weiss was compelled to say. Just something about the way the blonde said it made her agree immediately.

"Great," said Red. "As default Team Leader-"

"Hey!" Ruby exclaimed.

"I'm you," Red said by way of explanation. "Anyways, as default Team Leader, I say let's get moving!"

"Let's get moving, Team RWBY!" said Ruby, flashing out of the dorm.

Weiss smirked at Red. "So excitable and quick to compete."

"Quiet, you."

* * *

"Yo," greeted Hohenheim, walking up to Team RSBD. "What's up?"

"The sky," answered Belladonna and Red automatically.

"...you're totally rubbing off on me," muttered Red.

Belladonna gave her a playful wink. "It's about time."

"...you know what I mean," said Hohenheim. He glanced back at where Ozpin was making a very long speech commemorating _blah, blah,_ and _blah._ Oh well, Hohenheim already had a basic idea.

He and his fellow time-travelers were in what was essentially the backstage. Glynda glared at them from her position at the curtains.

"Nothing," said Yang. She had reattached her arm. "Y'know, the usual. Just broke down a door, a few walls, Zwei was thrown out the window, y'know, normal stuff."

"I see," said Hohenheim. "No flamethrowers, acidic alcohol, or captured Grimm?"

"Nope," Red answered, popping the 'p'.

"Hmm...surprising."

"So what did you do?" asked Belladonna.

Hohenheim grinned. "Why I'm glad you asked! I was working on our dimensional jumping, time traveling machine!"

Glynda made a shushing sound, finger to her lips.

She was promptly ignored.

Moon raised an eyebrow. "Any success?"

"Nah, building a machine like that is hard."

"Take your time," said Red. "We're in no rush."

"Hm…" Belladonna hummed. "This is practically vacation. No one that wasn't affiliated with Salem has tried to kill us yet."

Hohenheim sweatdropped. "Yeah…our bar really is low, isn't it?"

"But no matter which path you choose, remember to be safe, remember your training, and remember to do your very best," finished up Ozpin on stage.

Hohenheim smirked. "You guys on the list?"

"Of course," said Moon. "We would be failures if we weren't."

Red shrugged. "Well, we kinda hijacked it, but yeah…"

* * *

"Alright!" said Ruby. She pumped a fist into the air. "Our first real mission guys! Choose wisely!"

She looked at her teammates as they walked out of the auditorium. "So...what's the plan?"

"Some place-"

"Safe." - Blake

"Important." - Weiss

"Dangerous!" - Yang

Ruby put a hand on her chin. "Some place safe, important, and dangerous...yeah for some reason I think that will be hard to find."

Blake frowned. "That may or may not have something to do with the fact that 'safe' and 'dangerous' generally do not go together."

"So one of us has to back down!" declared Yang. She held out a fist. "When in doubt, rock, paper, scissor shoots!"

Blake stared at the fist. "...fine."

Ruby was suddenly wearing a referee cap. "Okay! Three! Two! One! Go!"

Paper to Blake.

Rock to Yang

"Nooooo!" wailed Yang.

Blake walked past her. "Everyone chooses rock."

Weiss placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder to comfort her.

"I was depending on you, Yang!" cried Ruby.

"I'm so sorry!"

Now Blake felt a little bad. She went to the mission boards. The rest of her team caught up to her.

"Village security looks like the most safe," said Blake.

Weiss hummed. "Important sounding too. We should pick an important village."

"Like…" Ruby squinted. "Sis! There's Patch!"

Yang looked at the board. "Oh yeah, there is!"

Ruby pressed on the Patch mission. She typed in RWBY and entered.

 _MISSION ACCEPTED: AWAIT HUNTSMEN AT DOCK 7_

Weiss gaped. "What?! You can't make a snap decision like that! We needed to vote!"

"Okay!" said Ruby.

"Not _after_ the fact!"

"All in favor?"

Ruby raised her hand.

Yang obviously raised her hand.

Blake came to the conclusion that if Ruby and Yang lived there, it must be reasonably safe. She raised her hand.

Weiss raised her hand.

Her teammates stared at her.

"What? It seems important enough. Signal Academy is there afterall."

"But Weiss...you're kinda the one who said we should put it to a vote. Which usually means you're _not_ in favor," said Ruby.

"That's kinda the point," added Yang.

Blake made a noncommittal grunt in agreement.

"W-well the point is we should always put everything to a vote!"

Blake, Yang, and Ruby looked at each other.

"I think that would be a very bad idea," said Blake slowly.

Ruby and Yang nodded in agreement. Imagine putting it to a vote on what to eat at dinner...

"Hey!"

* * *

Jaune typed in JNPR. He pressed enter.

 _MISSION ACCEPTED: AWAIT HUNTSMAN AT DOCK 5_

He breathed a sigh of relief. Pyrrha looked at him.

"Oh! Uh...kinda worry the mission would be declined or something, stupid I know, haha."

Pyrrha smiled kindly. "No, it is a genuine concern."

 _Oh crap, she's way too good for me._

"Look Ren! Pyrrha and Jaune are doing the gazing into each other's eyes thing!"

"Mhm."

And the mood was promptly shattered.

"R-right." Pyrrha blushed. "Let's get going then."

"Y-yeah," stammered Jaune.

* * *

Neo had one goal in mind for what type of mission to accept. For once, Vernal was in agreement.

Which for some reason translated to the rest of the Team not being onboard.

"Uh...should we really be going on 'Search and Destroy'?" asked Illia nervously. "Sounds...needlessly violent."

"Weren't you a terrorist?" wondered Vernal.

"Against _humans."_

' _Sounds needlessly violent,'_ shot Neo. ' _We'll be_ fine. _Grimm are easy to handle if you already know how to fight people.'_

"I guess…"

Marron shifted nervously. "...I'm, uh…"

"An utter failure?" Vernal slapped him in the back. He stumbled. "We already know! Whatever, we're still kicking Grimm ass."

Neo really just needed to release some pent up energy, seriously, she hadn't fatally injured or killed someone in nearly two months!

And Vernal had to deal with some of her anger and angst. Puberty sucked.

Neo ran her eyes down the list of 'Search and Destroy' missions...she stopped at Mt. Glenn. Weren't they, as in Roman and her, going to have a job there or something?

She clicked on it.

Vernal frowned. "Does that place have a lot of Grimm?"

Neo stared at her. ' _You're an idiot.'_

Vernal twitched. Sadly, releasing a lightning bolt in the middle of a busy room was essentially everything she had been taught to _not_ do.

Neo entered CMEA in the Team Name box.

Neo blinked. ' _That's not supposed to happen.'_

 _-CLEAR-_

 _MISSION ACCEPTED: AWAIT HUNTSMEN AT DOCK 9_

"Is it just me getting weird vibes from this?" asked Marron.

He was ignored.

' _Well, let's go. I need to kill some Grimm,'_ typed Neo.

* * *

' _Shit,'_ Neo typed when they reached Dock 9.

Vernal paled.

Marron bowed his head in respect and fear.

Illia wanted to run away, _fast._

Standing in front of the aircraft was a blonde with violet eyes and a brunette cat-faunus.

"This is going to be fun!" cackled Dragon.

"Hm…" Belladonna nodded in agreement.

' _This was such a mistake,'_ Neo wrote.

* * *

Team RWBY found themselves walking with Team JNPR to the docks.

"What mission did you guys choose?" asked Yang.

"Village security," said Ren.

"Same here!" Ruby said.

"...I didn't take your team for the type." Ren raised an eyebrow at the hyperactive, weapons loving team leader.

"It's in Patch," said Yang by way of explanation.

"Really? Patch?" Pyrrha hummed. "That is where Signal Academy is, no?"

"Yup!" said Ruby. "It's where me and Yang grew up too!"

"Patch, huh," Jaune mused. "What's it like?

"Oh! Oh! Does it have good food? Pancakes?" asked Nora.

"Nora!" complained Jaune.

"Well-" Ruby started.

"Well, well, who would've thought," mused Hohenheim, walking up to them. "Team JNPR will be working with yours truly."

No matter that he had rigged it that way.

"We're here," said Ren a little too late.

Jaune gaped. " _Hohenheim?_ What?"

Hohenheim scoffed. "I _am_ a Huntsman. And a very good one mind you, invaluable on the battlefield and all that."

He wasn't going to add that he was invaluable on the battlefield because he was basically a glorified medic.

' _I need healing!'_

Oh, those dreaded words.

"Really?" marveled Jaune, doing a complete 180. Hohenheim could see what was going on here. The boy even had stars in his eyes...

He was totally wondering how much of a badass Hohenheim was.

Hohenheim was a badass (as stated by Hohenheim). But knowing his teenage self, what was defined as badass was probably very different.

"Okay then!" Jaune walked past him to the aircraft. "Let's go, Team!"

Pyrrha gave Team RWBY an apologetic shrug and followed Jaune. Nora skipped after her.

Ren shivered. He had nothing _against_ Hohenheim, really. But from what he's seen of Hohenheim, the scientist, future version of his leader was a little... _less than sane._

He had once found Hohenheim building a giant laser beam that incinerated pure steel into puddy like it was nothing. _Nobody needed that!_

It didn't really help that the scientist was laughing like a maniac afterwards.

Ren found himself on the aircraft anyways.

"Good luck!" called Pyrrha to Team RWBY.

The team waved goodbye and left.

Hohenheim jumped into the pilot seat. He rubbed his hands together. "Alright! Let's get this party started! I need that titanium metal!"

Ren shivered.

"Wait-you can drive?" asked Jaune.

"Yeah, even if I never got a license...they were clearly biased against me."

"Uh..." Pyrrha suddenly looked very worried.

"Cool!" exclaimed Nora. "Rebelling against the system!"

The gears in Jaune's head turned. "...what?!"

Hohenheim put the aircraft into start. "How did this go again?" he muttered.

"Wait, wait, wait-!" Jaune yelled.

Hohenheim slammed his foot onto the pedal.

They blasted off...literally.

* * *

"Turn around!" demanded Weiss. She held Zwei in one hand.

"Okay!" Ruby turned.

"Are we sure the huntsman wouldn't find out? They are huntsmen."

"Eh," waved away an unconcerned Yang. "Worst case scenario, Zwei gets left here."

Weiss unzipped her backpack and stuffed Zwei in there. The corgi didn't even make a sound. In fact, Zwei shuffled around until he was sitting just right.

Weiss stared. "He looks so used to this…"

"He is," said Yang.

"Animal abuse!"

"I'm starting to think you care more about animal abuse than faunus…" muttered Blake, keeping space between herself and Zwei.

"No, I-"

 _Boom_!

An airship exploded into the sky.

"Uh…" Yang looked up. "Wasn't that JNPR's aircraft?"

"I hope they're okay," said Ruby.

"Of course you'd hope they're okay! What else are you supposed to hope for?!" exclaimed Weiss.

"Gee, Ice Queen."

"Don't call me that!"

Ruby slammed into Blake. "Ow...why'd you stop?"

Blake pointed at Dock 7, where a certain eyepatched woman and white hair woman stood.

Ruby twitched. She pointed a finger at Red and Moon. "I SAID NO MORE SHENANIGANS!"

Red cleaned out her ear. "We didn't hear you."

"I call bullshit," muttered Yang. Her eyes widened. "Ruby, you didn't hear that!"

Moon's eyes gleamed. "Let's get going, Patch can only wait so long after all."

"And of course, because we're Team RWBY...or RSBD, nothing can ever go normally!" added Red. "Prepare for danger in some weird way that will probably appear out of nowhere!"

Blake let out a long sigh, ears twitching. There goes her requirement she won from an intense game of rock, paper, scissor shoots...

"I'm counting on it," said Moon. She boarded the airship. "Things have been too quiet around here…"

Grimm massacre not withstanding.

"Moon has a serious case of not being able to settle down," said Red by way of explanation. "She needs something crazy to happen every few weeks or else she starts shutting down."

Weiss twitched. "That doesn't sound very healthy…"

"It isn't," confirmed Red. "Oh, and you guys got Zwei, right?"

"Yup!" answered Ruby.

"Great, Operation Patch is under way!"

All of Team RWBY looked at each other with dawning horror. If their training session was any indication…

This will not end well for them.

* * *

Ozpin looked at the black haired woman before him. He sipped from Juniper Mug. "So...you want to be a science teacher here? What was your name again?"

"Cinder Fall," said Cinder with an obviously fake, super forced smile. Ozpin didn't notice. "And yes, I do! There's definitely no notorious plans going on here!"

Ozpin nodded sagely. "Of course, notorious plans are the _worst_."

"Yes! They are!" _You can't be serious! This headmaster is a freaking idiot! Why on Remnant is Salem stuck on him?!_

"I'm glad Glynda isn't here," said Ozpin. "She would say something or another about you being clearly very suspicious."

"HAHAHA! Why would I be?"

"Indeed," Ozpin nodded. "Now if you tried coming as a transfer student, then that would be suspicious. You clearly aren't seventeen through twenty-one."

Cinder coughed. That _was_ the original plan. "Just like you said! That would be suspicious! I mean, who would fall for that?" Insert laughter for effect.

"Right, just fill out this form and you're hired."

And this is what Ozpin gets for only really paying attention to his students. Or to be more specific, Team RWBY.

Playing favorites never works out after all!

* * *

 **Author's Note: NOOOOOOO! I"M ONE DAY LAAAAAAAAAAAATE! ...I hate school... but seriously, I'm excited for this arc. It'll let all the characters get more time to themselves because well...I have a shitload of characters and that's really _not_ a good thing.**

 **Beta is bro.**

* * *

 **Omake XXXI: PNR saga Act 1: Wherein Team RWBY demonstrate their skills.**

 **Written By: TheSetupMage**

-Outside Beacon academy-

"Well well well! We seem to have on our hands a most en-ter-taining! Situation. It would seem my dearest foe-in-arms, that rogue Lord Lucien actually pulled it off! Who'd have thought it? And now, here I am, in a novel new world, surrounded by quaint individuals such as yourselves. Pray do reveal yourselves to me, my merry men most genteel."

"Well er... Jeez, most folks call me Wallace, lad! If you folks could help me find my dog Gromit, white fur, brown ears, stands like he's made of clay most of the time? *sigh* The boy gets me into into all sorts of wacky ventures, but I tell you what, he hasn't steered me wrong yet. Ooh! And if we could stop to get some of the local produce on the way, that'd be lovely. Ooh! I can smell it now! Stinking Bishop and crackers! Cor, if they have anything like that I'll be right as rain!""Of all the things that could've happened when I get sent to another universe, it turns out to be another circumstance where I play second fiddle to a fancy . At least you're not as annoying as that spongekid and his pink friend. And as long as you don't want me to give you a foot massage, we can get along just fine. These old bones may not be that fast, but they're fast enough to outrun the rest of you! Oh, and call me Barnacle Boy."

"Hey guys, whatever this world can throw at us, don't worry. Yamcha's got it!" The last man proclaimed, thumbing towards himself.

"I see. Well! Some indigenous folk seem to be a little hungry for our affection. Please, my body of bizarre messrs, if you'll show me yours, I'll show you mine. I'm referring to combat skill, of course. Unless the nights here get a touch too nippy for my poor boys, when I'll be more than happy to warm your beds.""Aww, thanks for your hospitality, lad! I have to say, I'm not much of a fighter myself, but-whoah there!" And suddenly, Wallace's pants pulled him forth at mighty speeds! Of about 35 mph. Which is very mighty for a human!

"Crikey! Slow down! This is the first time I've worn this pair, I don't want to wash them already! Actually, are these standard wash or dry-clean only?" He mused, leg-first through his 9th Beowulf by this , Barnacle Boy was struggling with his first, firing ball after ball of water at it.

"So be it! Time to use my secret move! Creatures of the deep, assemble!"

And after rings of cyan echoed from his glossy, dry forehead, they fell down the cliffs nearby, pulling up anchovies, mackerel, and a giant Grimm with a beard of seven-story-long tentacles, ready to slam down with his mighty claw-fist.

"Um lads, a little help?"

"If any of you have any world-breaking voodoo magic, now's the time to use it, guys! I don't think my funeral plan covers death in foreign worlds OR Cthulu!"

"I'm afraid I can't be of much use here. Apologies, gentlemen. For the little time I knew you, I can say you were jolly good fellows. Not the greatest fan of dying, but I suppose the grim glimmer comes for us all in the end."

"Like I said, brahs. Yamcha's here. And I can finally let loose and kick ass. Spirit ball!"

And, after waving his finger about a few times, shredding Cthulu's legs to pieces...

"Hah! Now I've got you down to my level, time for my ultimate technique! Neo Wolf Fang Fist!"

And with a million or more kicks and a billion or more fists within a single second, our lord and saviour erased the evil.

-Salem's lair, somewhere probably in the west. I hope Roosterteeth doesn't make that joke with Sun again-

"Craig, man, you gotta get to Beacon. There's some whack vibes there, the place is a reekin' of the energy spikes like demigods, like the overpowered boys with the super saiyan bods!"

"Sure, why not, Slim? I got nuthin' better to do anyways. Oy Emmet! Mercury! Shift yer arses into gear, we're going on a trip!"

"Oh boy an adventure! When are we going is it now I'll go pack our bags because I think we're going now."

"Ugh, so I'm the only one that actually got roped into this from the original series. Great. And I still answer to a rapper, craig charles, and a lego 's not even Velvet here, and this is a Setup Wizard or Mage or whatever it is! There's no Ozpin either! Or-actually, I'm not going to jinx it with him."

-Outside Beacon, a ways away from the RWBY group-

"Mwahaha! I told you, hero, I don't die quite so easily as that! Jack! Of blades! Is back!"

"Dude, dude, I know what you're saying, and trust me, I've been there myself. But you need to tone it down a notch, man! If you're out there, hamming it up all the time, bro? Nobody's gonna take you seriously! But if you know how to chill, then when it really matters, you can bring the serious Jack back, and people are gonna know what you're feeling. That little tune got sung to me from another Jack I know. Bigshot movie star now, good for him! But. Bein' a roadie? That's the only gig for me."

-TO BE CONTINUED-(In and around the lake. Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there. One mile over there and we'll see you! Ten true summers we'll be there and laughing too! Twenty-four by four my love we'll see I'll be there with you!)

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Dev the snake faunus: I see...you have Stonehenge...WAIT-WHAT?!**

 **merendinoemilliano: hm...yeah, I should do that. Glad you like the chapter!**

 **HJSDGCE: Thanks for the continued support! I'm glad my humor is actually...humorous. And they will, I just have _way_ too much stuff going on right now. =)**

 **Xyander64: Glad you enjoyed it!**

 **TheSetupMage: Now I have absolutely no idea what's going on, lol.**

 **Anime Nightwing39: *sniff* I'm one day late...ah well, whatevs, as long as I update around a week later...**

 **EmeraldGuardian7: Done! Glad you love the story, always love new readers!**

* * *

 **Please give Constructive Criticism and Suggestions!**

 **And as always, if you like, Review, Favorite, and Follow!**


	22. Your Everyday Field Trip (Pt 2)

**Chp XXI: Your Everyday Field Trip (Pt 2)**

 **Disclaimer: RWBY is not mine.**

 **"When you promise to write in certain scenes to** **yourself...and the chapter gets WAY too long." ~ ARC**

 ***Please read Author's Notes for this one, I have some exciting news!***

* * *

Yang tilted her head. "Hey...now that I think about it, we almost never see you two together."

'You two' being Red and Moon. They were standing in the middle of the airship, sharing a scroll.

Ruby turned from her window to face the huntress pair. Yang's observation had caught her attention. Weiss continued on typing furiously on her scroll and Blake's cat ears perked up. She promptly realized that there was absolutely no reason for her to still be keeping her ears under a bow. Blake hastily took the bow off. Really, it was a pain to always wear the dreaded thing. You have no idea how sweaty her ears got!

...and it really didn't help that she had a whole closet full of bows.

Red looked up. "Huh. I mean we _are_ partners. And Moon _is_ my best friend forever." She smirked at Ruby.

Moon rolled her eyes. "Please. You're so proud of yourself."

Ruby gasped. "She didn't deny it!" She shook Weiss. "We're destined!"

"No," said Weiss cooley.

Red shrugged. "Don't worry, little red, Weiss's cold exterior is legendary. You'll get there eventually."

Weiss twitched. "I am _not_ cold."

Moon coughed.

"H-hey!"

"You have to start melting the ice...figuratively speaking of course," said Red. She had made it a habit to add 'figuratively' when she realized Nora and Penny 2.0 were a little too...literal.

Seriously, when someone says 'you're driving me up a wall' they don't actually mean it! On the other hand, it was pretty hilarious to see Belladonna holding on for dear life.

Red looked at Yang. "Yeah, this is just how things turned out. But back in the future-"

"Back in the future it's basically the same thing," interrupted Moon. "We're partners. We work together on huntsmen related dealings...and some other things that crop up from time to time."

Red grinned. "We're the best set to ever grace Remnant. Take that, Bumblebee."

* * *

Dragon sneezed.

Belladonna looked at her. "What, was someone talking about you?"

"That's just a myth! Not, like, _magic_ myth, like actual myth myth."

* * *

Weiss preened under the praise. "Best set to ever grace Remnant…"

"Eh?!" Yang exclaimed. "No way! It's obviously me and Blake!" She draped an arm around Blake's shoulders. "Say something!"

"...sure."

"Blake!"

Moon shrugged. "It's just undisputed fact. See, Bumblebee suffered quite a huge backtrack from...some problems."

Some problems bring Dragon losing an arm, Belladonna's running away habits, Sun and Illia, teenage hormones, and Adam.

Ruby blinked. "So you used our combos as partner names? That would make me and Weiss Ice Flower? Cool!"

"Er no, it's actually White Rose," corrected Red.

"Why? I mean, it sounds pretty cool, but Ice Flower would make a lot more sense…"

Moon huffed. "We went into copyright issues. Apparently it was infringement on a little flower shop in a remote section of Atlas called Bateman or something or another."

"She's still not over it," said Red.

"I'm still not over it."

"Alright!" Weiss declared. She held out her scroll with pride. "Here's the plan, I did a little research on Patch, we're supposed to meet up with the governed first...but then we're free. So! I believe we should first visit this monumental statue of Onyx S-"

Red plucked the scroll from Weiss's hand in threw it behind her back.

"First, we are _not_ going to visit a monumental statue of one of Ozpin's past lives-"

Moon nodded in curt agreement.

"At least not without the plan to vandalize it for fun-"

Another nod from Moon.

" _But_ we are visiting a gravestone first!"

"H-! Excuse me?" Weiss blinked. "Did you just say gravestone?"

"She has an obsession with her deceased mother," explained Moon.

"Oh...WHAT?!"

"I DO NOT!" "I DO NOT!" Ruby and Red screamed.

"Who else visits their parent's grave bi-weekly?"

"It's to pay my respects!"

* * *

Neo batted away Dragon's hand for what seemed like a bajillion times to her. ' _Leave me to willow in despair in peace, damn it!_

"I just can't get over how freaking small you are!"

' _I'll fucking kill you!'_ Neo's eyes burst into flames. Ice shards appeared around her and shit themselves at Dragon. They were burned to ashes before they even came close to reaching the Fall Maiden.

"Come on, be nice! Besides, don't worry, you grow taller!"

Neo's mood instantly lifted.

"...by like three inches."

She glowered. Vernal snickered in the background as she easily dodged one of Marron's attacks.

She had a harder time dodging Neo's ice pikes.

Meanwhile, Belladonna was having fun giving Illia impromptu therapy.

"So…" Belladonna said. "How have you been doing with your crush on me-uh...I mean, Blake?"

"Do I have to do this?" Illia muttered nervously. She shifted in her seat.

"Yes. Let's face it, you clearly have problems."

Feeling unnaturally rebellious, Illia asked: "Like what?"

Belladonna held up a hand. "You're an orphan. Orphans never turn out okay." *Ahem* _Adam,_ Ren and Nora, Neo, Vernal, the Branwen twins...

"That's not _my_ fault."

"It's never the kid's fault...unless they murder their parents."

Which meant you were already _not okay_ anyway.

"So? A lot of people are orphans."

Well, Blake couldn't fault her for that. Especially when it feels like every other person she knew was an orphan.

Seriously, what was up with that? She thought that only happened in shonen! Where inevitably, the main character also has to be an orphan.

"Illia, remember that time where I-er...I mean, _Blake_ asked you why you joined the White Fang on the rooftop?"

"Yes," Illia immediately replied. You kind of don't forget moments with your crush, after all.

"At the end of the conversation, you said, and I quote, 'don't be,' when I-I mean, _Blake,_ said sorry, then 'I broke their teeth'. Belladonna looked at the chameleon faunus. "Tell me breaking people's teeth is not a problem."

"The humans deserve it."

"And here's the crux of the issue!" declared Belladonna. She now had no idea where she was going. Hey, she wasn't a psychiatrist (actually, she probably needed one herself, but _details)._ "You need to distinguish between people."

Illia blinked. "What?"

"See, there are good people and evil people."

Belladonna motioned to an infuriated Neo, a snide Vernal, and a really worried Marron. "Your teammates are...good peo-"

Lightning struck the airship. It electrocuted everyone sitting, ie. Illia, Belladonna, and Neo. Then the airship burst on fire and started falling.

' _VERNAL!'_ Neo wrote angrily. She lifted into the air.

" _Sorry!_ Geez!"

"AHHHHHHHH!" Marron screamed. "SOME PEOPLE CAN'T FLY!" He held on to a handle for dear life.

"Aw jeezes, this is not how things were supposed to go…" muttered Dragon. She grabbed Marron by the scruff of his leather shirt. "Hey Belladonna! I heard cats always land on their feet!"

"I like to think it's true."

"CHAMELEONS DON'T!" This was probably the only time ever Illia would ever compare herself to her faunus related animal. Admittedly she thought she was going to die...so yeah.

Belladonna wrapped an arm around Ilia's waist, causing the chameleon faunus to blush even though she was in quite a...problematic situation.

"Hold on," said Belladonna. Then she unlatched the aircraft's door.

Illia suddenly felt impending doom. "Wait! Wait! Wait! Wai-"

Belladonna jumped.

"See you later!" called Dragon.

* * *

Hohenheim landed the aircraft... _okay._ As in they were about a feet away from slamming into the side of a mountain.

The craft jerked to a stop, sending Team JNPR flying forward.

Jaune made quite the impressive window ornament.

Ren quickly ran to the bathroom and barfed in the toilet..

Jaune simply threw up on the window.

"That. Was. Awesome!" Nora exclaimed. She shook Hohenheim's seat. "Can we do it again? Can we do it again?"

"I think…" said Pyrrha slowly, struggling to find a way to say 'Hohenheim is a horrible driver and should not be allowed within ten feet of an aircraft' politely. "I think...it would be best if this experience is not repeated."

That got the point across right? RIGHT?

Ren wiped his mouth. "I believe we should be heading to the village elder now. That is the proper action as stated by the Huntsman Mission Guidelines."

"Pfft." Hohenheim got out of his seat. "Nobody follows guidelines. How else do you think we created homunculi?"

Ren looked a little sick...or at least more sick than he had looked when barfing. "I think we should follow guidelines."

"Nah." Hohenheim peeled Jaune off the window. He pulled out a triangular device, pressed the button, and attached it to the window.

The device transformed into a mini vacuum cleaner. It started dealing with Jaune's throw up.

"Transformium test, success," Hohenheim muttered. He pulled Jaune to his feet. "Let's get going. I told you I needed titanium."

Hohenheim grinned. "I'm very excited for this project."

Ren shivered. That was _never_ a good thing.

"Don't worry, Ren. It's just a retrieve mission, no one's going to get hurt."

* * *

 _No one's going to get hurt,_ he said.

Ren was having some serious doubts with three _freaking_ giant goliaths staring down at him. It didn't help that they were all in a giant cave with barely any lighting. He swallowed. His palms were getting real sweaty for some reason.

"Uh, Hohenheim?!" Jaune squeaked, backing away nervously.

"This is the perfect opportunity for Team JNPR to get field experience," exclaimed Hohenheim. He continued gathering titanium shards from the walls of the cave. "Have fun!"

"What?" Jaune asked meekly.

"Well, how else do you grow stronger?" Hohenheim said.

"Not like this." But Ren pulled out Stormflower anyways.

Hohenheim shrugged. "It's not like you have much a choice."

The goliaths trumpeted from their trunks and charged.

Even Nora was intimidated. "Uh...Let's do this!" She rushed forward, Magnhild transforming in her hand.

Pyrrha looked at Jaune, who was still a little out of commission. "Go JNPR!" she cried, before joining Nora.

Jaune was shaken out of his shock. "Y-yeah!"

 _This cannot end well,_ Ren thought. He fired Stormflower.

* * *

"Moon, can we just get one thing straight?" asked Red as they walked through Patch's forest. "I _don't_ have an obsession with my mom."

"Yeah!" Ruby agreed.

Weiss and Blake's minds were still reeling over the fact that _Ruby,_ possibly the most cheerful person they knew, didn't have a mom.

 _Weiss_ still had parents, though admittedly not very good ones, and look how she turned out! And Blake was the only one without any form of parental issues (barring the fact that she basically ran away from home to join a terrorist organization for a guy she liked) and she had a boat-load of problems to sort through!

Yang was more worried about how Moon seems to think her little sister had an obsession with a dead person, even if that dead person was her little sister's mom.

"Tell that to the cloak you hang in your office," said Moon.

"That's-that's symbolism! Besides, it's like the only thing I have of her!"

"Except her weapon. Which you have a habit of cleaning."

"Yes, but Qrow keeps the weapon!"

"I'm just glad we didn't find her eyeballs in Salem's domain."

"Wha-just, just no, Moon."

"Wait!" Ruby interrupted. "You have mom's cloak...and her weapon? But dad said…"

Red smiled at her younger self. "Dad thought they were gone, but we got them back. Mom was more of a hero than you think, little red."

Moon coughed something that sounded awfully like 'hero worship'.

"Really?!" Ruby exclaimed.

Yang was all ears too. After all, Summer was more of a mother to her than Raven ever was.

"Like what?" asked Yang.

"I'll tell you later," said Red, meaning never. She wasn't going to be sharing Summer's valiant death at the hands of Salem anytime soon. Heck, she didn't even like remembering it. "But more importantly, we're here!"

The forest ended to reveal a remote hillside. A small stone sat in the ground at the very edge of it.

Team RWBY and RS_ had grown unnaturally silent.

"Hello, mom," muttered Red. She walked up to the grave and kneeled. "It's been a while."

Ruby joined her.

Moon sighed. She motioned for the rest of Team RWBY to follow her back into the forest. They more than willingly complied.

"Moon likes to say I have an obsession, I think she thinks I'm dependent...and I probably am," said Red. "But after hearing so much about you from Qrow...and seeing you in those flashbacks a while back, yeah, I'm proud to say I am."

She looked at Ruby. "Got anything to say?"

"Yeah." Ruby looked at the grave. She recited what she had experienced the last few months, including Team RSBD. "I mean, they say they saved the world, but they never give the details-"

Red coughed.

"-but it all sounds pretty impressive...I hope you're proud of what future me did. Even if I have no idea what that is."

Red ruffled Ruby's hair affectionately. "D'awwww."

"Come on," Ruby whined, pulling Red's hand from her hair.

"Can't a person admire how cute their younger self is?" asked Red.

"Yes, but from _far away."_

"That's just sad."

 _Caw! Caw!_

Red straightened. She narrowed her eyes. "Really? Grimm, now?"

Ruby looked around. "Where?"

"Red! We have a problem!" Moon called from the forest. "Your mom's gravestone has a griffon infestation!"

"Can we _please_ get over my mom's gravestone!?" Red motioned to Ruby. They quickly became a blur of red rose petals.

* * *

Belladonna landed on something hard...and moving...and scaly. _Oh great._ "Maybe I should've thought about the landing more…" she mused.

Illia looked down. "Is-is that a _grimm?"_

"It's a Sea Dragon to be exact," said Belladonna calmly. "I remember fighting one back when I was eighteen...my Oum that was a long time ago, I feel old."

Then the Sea Dragon flung its head, sending Belladonna and Illia flying.

"This really isn't the time for nostalgia!" exclaimed Illia, holding onto the cat faunus for dear life.

Belladonna landed on the shore of a tropical forest. Dragon slammed into the ground, making a flaming crater. Marron was unceremoniously dropped onto the ground.

"Hot, hot, hot!"

"Why, thank you," said Dragon mildly.

Neo and Vernal glared at each other as they glided into the shore. Electricity and frost respectively bursted from the two of them.

"Yo," called Dragon. "Kill the Grimm first and I'll let you guys fight each other! Teacher's permission." Which made all the difference, of course.

Marron whimpered. He _did not_ want to be in the crossfire of any fights with Neo and Vernal.

"You can't use your Maiden powers," added Belladonna. "That'd be too easy."

Marron relaxed a little bit.

He was _not_ relaxed after Neo and Vernal zoomed past him, respective weapons primed.

And he _definitely_ didn't feel relaxed when Dragon looked at him expectantly.

"Uh…"

"What are you waiting for?"

"I'm going, I'm going!" Marron quickly got on his feet and ran to the ocean. He blinked. "How do I cross the water? I don't know how to swim."

He wouldn't cross the ocean if he knew how to swim either.

Neo leaped into the air. She shattered into shards of glass before somehow appearing at the Sea Dragon. With lighting speed, she unsheathed her estoc and sliced across the Grimm's face.

The Sea Dragon roared.

"Oh," said Marron meekly. "I'm _not_ jumping."

Dragon rolled her eyes and grabbed him.

"No, no, no, no!"

She catapulted the bandit-turned-huntsman at the Grimm.

He screamed like a little girl.

Vernal propelled herself off the ground. She used Marron's head as leverage to force herself onto the Sea Dragon. Vernal grabbed one of the Grimm's whiskers. It thrashed around. She blasted at the Grimm with her free hand.

Belladonna seperated Illia from herself.

 _Oh no_ , Illia thought.

"I believe the White Fang did teach teamwork is important?" hummed Belladonna.

"Against humans."

"I'm sure it was against Grimm too." Belladonna gave Illia a light push.

Illia looked at the Sea Dragon nervously.

"Don't worry," said Belladonna. "Dragon and I wouldn't let you die."

All Illia could think of was that she could get hurt as long as she didn't die. That wasn't very comforting.

"I mean, if you want Dragon to throw you, be my gue-"

Illia was already running by then.

Dragon crossed her arms behind her head. "We just chilling?"

"Looks like it."

"Shucks."

"No one says that anymore."

"You're one to talk."

Vernal swung herself onto the Sea Dragon's back. She pulled back the whiskers. The Sea Dragon's head thrusted upwards.

Marron managed to steady his sword. It embedded itself into the Sea Dragon's throat.

The Grimm shook. Its mouth opened and lightning burst out. Marron couldn't hold on any longer. His grip loosened, as a result, his sword slid out. Then he was falling.

Neo was quick to flash by, grabbing Marron and then flashing back onto the Sea Dragon's back. She huffed.

"Sorry..." muttered Marron.

Illia had climbed a palm tree. She pulled out her weapon and extended it. She aimed the sword. Then she fired lightning dust at the Grimm.

As one could assume, using lightning dust against a lightning Grimm wasn't the smartest idea in the world.

The Sea Dragon roared. From its back sprouted wings and it flew into the air.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Vernal screamed as she grabbed the Grimm's second whisker. "ILLIA!"

"S-sorry!"

Neo rolled her eyes. Honestly, teenagers these days. ' _Stay there until I give the signal_ ,' she wrote to Marron.

Marron hugged the trunk of the Sea Dragon. "G-got it."

The Sea Dragon dived at Illia's tree. Illia panicked, her skin changing to different bright colors.

Not exactly the camouflage one would want.

Not knowing what else to do, she jumped.

* * *

Dragon sat back in her lava made tanning chair. She crossed her arms behind her head. "Ahhhh. This is the _life_."

Belladonna hummed in agreement as she read her pre downloaded volume #77 of Ninjas of Love on her scroll.

Then a wave of water came crashing down on them.

"Still the life," said Dragon, miraculously dry.

Belladonna shook her head, water flying from her hair. She gave Dragon a deadpan look as droplets dripped from her.

* * *

Illia was about to fall onto the ground and land with a big splat. She, for one, did not want to become a pancake. She extended her sword and aimed for the Sea Dragon. It skewered itself into the Grimm's eye. Then Illia held on for dear life.

Vernal growled. She was really getting tired of this crap. She leaped off the dragon's back. Then she threw her blades at its head. They slashed into the skin before circling back to her. Vernal grabbed them.

Then she was falling.

Well, bandits weren't exactly the smartest out of the bunch.

She _was_ failing science at the moment.

Neo caught Vernal in her arms mid-leap.

"I don't need your help," Vernal muttered. She glared at Neo.

Neo rolled her eyes. ' _JUST AIM FOR THE DAMN HEAD.'_

Vernal blinked. Then she realized that they were falling in an angle straight at the Sea Dragon's skull.

She gritted her teeth and positioned her blades. "Got it…"

A sign suddenly blinked into existence in front of Marron, who was still hugging the Sea Dragon's body.

' _GET TO THE HEAD.'_

Marron blinked. "Is that th-"

' _YES. THIS IS THE SIGNAL, IDIOT.'_

"O-hey!" Marron lifted himself onto his feet shakily. "...you got it, Boss. All for the team…"

He screamed as he ran up the Sea Dragon's back.

Illia changed her dust cylinder to ice...quite the impressive feat when you were hanging from a Sea Dragon's eyeball and covered in sweat. She started charging her weapon. It swirled into the Sea Dragon's eye.

The Sea Dragon spun around, trying to fling Illia off.

Too bad her sword was already firmly inside the Grimm's eyeball by then.

Neo aimed her estoc.. ' _NOW!'_

She pointed herself and Vernal down. They were falling like an arrow...pointed at the Sea Dragon's head.

Marron's greatsword lit on fire. He dragged it along the Sea Dragon's back as he ran towards the snout.

Illia pulled the trigger on her sword. It fired ice straight into the Grimm's skull.

Neo and Vernal touchdowned. They skewered cleanly through the Sea Dragon's head.

The Sea Dragon roared. Then it exploded into smoke behind the two Maidens.

Neo grinned. ' _Fin.'_

"That was pretty awesome," said Vernal. She frowned. "Can we use our powers now? We're still falling."

They were indeed still falling. And almost to land too.

"Nope." Dragon appeared besides them. She held out her hands. Vernal and Neo crashed into them.

"Oof!" Dragon steadied herself. "Hey, you two are cute together!"

Neo and Vernal quickly leaped in opposite directions.

"NO!"

' _NO!"_

A line of silk wrapped itself around Illia's waste. She was pulled into a tree. "Pfft." Illia spat out some leaves that got in her mouth. Then she promptly collapsed onto a branch. "Never again...never again…"

The chameleon faunus saw the shady images of a cat-faunus disappear.

Belladonna propelled herself off her clones. She skidded onto the sandy ground of the shore and held out her hands.

Marron slammed into them. His sword clattered to the ground. His breath came in and out rapidly. "O-oh gods."

Belladonna raised an eyebrow. "This is the part where you say 'my hero', I believe," she said with a sly grin. Hello nostalgia.

"M-my hero?"

Belladonna dropped Marron to the ground. "Eh, good enough."

"Ugh…"

Dragon landed besides Belladonna. Neo and Vernal quickly jumped out of her arms. "No one broke a bone or anything?"

"No," said Belladonna.

"Great!" Dragon looked at Neo and Vernal. "Whenever you two are up for it."

' _Not now,'_ typed Neo before promptly falling to the ground.

Vernal threw up.

"Okayyy, maybe next time," Dragon said. "Everyone gather up! Now we're stuck on an island somewhere and need to live it out for a week or so!"

"I'll just call the search and rescue…" Belladonna drawled dully.

"Come on! This is the perfect chance for them to learn survival skills!" Dragon got a glint in her eyes.

"Then I'll just go and find that pilot we lost…"

* * *

"You can do it!" Hohenheim called encouragingly as he pocketed a set of titanium. "More force! Stab them where it hurts!"

Jaune was thrown into the wall. "Ugh…" He fell to the ground.

"My Oum, I suck," said Hohenheim.

Nora slammed Magnhild down at the head of one of the goliaths. The Grimm tremored. Ren quickly slid under the Goliath from behind and slashed at its legs. He slid out just as the Grimm collapsed onto the ground.

He did not expect it to still be active. Its trunk slammed into his waist and sent him flying.

"Renny!" Nora used Magnhild as an impromptu vehicle and zoomed to Ren. She quickly caught him, causing the two of them to tumble to the ground.

The two legged goliaths surrounded their legless fellow Grimm.

Hohenheim hummed. "Hm...these ones are quite intelligent."

He looked on as Pyrrha ran to Jaune. "Alright! Time for a team building tip. Pyrrha, Jaune, you make Arkos. No, you do not get to choose the name."

"Ren, Nora, you make Renora. Like the fish. It's a very cute fish."

"Now Jaune, man up and actually _lead_ your team. There we go, that's your tip."

"What kind of tip is that?!" exclaimed Jaune. He narrowly avoided a Goliath's tusk as it charged. It slammed its head into the wall. It struggled to pull its tusks out.

Jaune's eyes widened. "Pyrrha, do the shield thingy!"

Pyrrha blinked. "The...shield thingy?" She stood behind the goliath, unsure where this was going

"Yes! The shield thingy! Y'know, I stay down, you jump on my shield, you jump off my shield, you attack the enemy thing?" Jaune frowned. "That's a lot of you's and not a lot of me's."

"Oooh."

"You two, look out!" warned Ren as he wobbly stood up.

The goliath successfully pulled out its tusks. It kicked at Pyrrha, who stopped the foot with her lance.

"Ahhh, this is not going according to plan!" declared Jaune as he ran.

"Just call the move Arkos!" advices Hohenheim. He nonchalantly flipped through his scroll, trying to find the material he had forgotten. Damn it, he had way too many documents! Why was there a hot chocolate recipe?! Coco!

"Okay, okay! Nora, distraction!"

"You've got it!" Nora zoomed across the cave. She slammed Magnhild into the goliath's foot.

The Grimm quickly retracted its body part from Pyrrha's lance. Pyrrha breathed out a sigh of relief.

"ARKOS!" Jaune skidded to a stop in front of Pyrrha. His shield faced the goliath.

Pyrrha quickly jumped onto the shield. She used polarity to fling herself into the air. Then she aimed Milo and came back down at the goliath. Her aim was true. She skewered into the Grimm's back. It trumpeted angrily and started stampeding.

Jaune held out his sword. He slashed just as the goliath would have landed on top of him.

It evaporated into smoke.

"We did it!" he exclaimed, He held up Crocea Mors in victory.

"In case you can't count," said Hohenheim. "There are _three_ goliaths and _two_ left."

"Hey! Let me celebrate, alright?!" Jaune pointed his sword at Hohenheim. "What's your deal anyway?! You're not even helping!"

"I think that's not what you should be worried about," Hohenheim retorted.

"Uhh...guys?" Ren slowly backed away from the goliath staring at him. It stamped one of its hind legs on the ground.

Nora transformed Magnhild into its rocket launcher form. She blasted at the goliath. It turned around, annoyed.

The Grimm looked slightly torn between charging in or staying with its injured brethren.

"Okay," whispered Jaune, who had no idea why he was whispering. It's not like the Grimm had any idea what he was saying...Oum that would be creepy. They don't right?!

"Okay," repeated Jaune. "Pyrrha, you and I are going to distract that one." 'That one' being the goliath with working legs.

"Nora, get to Ren and take out the injured one! Then we have one less to deal with!"

"How brutal..." muttered Hohenheim. "Good job. Now what's this about a ruby...?"

"You've got it!" exclaimed Nora.

"Go! Go! Go!" shouted Jaune. He picked up a rock and chucked it at the goliath. It hit its ear.

A tick mark appeared on the large Grimm's head. It trumpeted from its trunk and stomped its feet. Then it charged.

"Okay, maybe not as intelligent..." mused Hohenheim.

"Uhh..." Jaune stood shockstill as he realized he had no idea how to avoid a monster about 20x bigger than him.

"Move!" Pyrrha came to the rescue, she grabbed Jaune by his hoodie. Than she ran, dragging her lovable but very idiotic boyfriend with her.

Well, she preferred him over Hohenheim anyways.

Ren made eye contact with the incoming Nora and nodded. He ran at the now defenseless, legless goliath. Nora changed directions.

Yes, now they were going to end the goliath with a finishing pincer atta-aaaack?

"Nora, what are you doing?!"

Said huntress in training had ran past the goliath without lifting a single finger. She paused. "Uh...running to you? What else am I supposed to do?"

Ren wanted to cry. "No! You're supposed to attack it from the front! A pincer attack, like we _practiced_ in Mistral!"

On reflex, his semblance activated. It only claimed him down marginally. Oh boy, he was going to need to do some serious meditation once this was all over.

"Ooooh." Nora backtracked to about halfway from the injured goliath and the wall. "Better?"

Ren facepalmed. "...yes."

"Great!" Nora raised Magnhild and charged. "Come to mama, Grimmy boy!"

The goliath made a strangled trumpeting sound as if to vehemently deny any relations between him and the mentally insane huntress.

Ren dashed towards the goliath.

He and Nora made contact at the same times

Nora slammed a boosted Magnhild into the goliath's face. Ren jumped. He threw Stormflower into the back of the goliath before landing on it. Then he grabbed his blades and dragged them along the goliath to the tip of its head. He propelled himself off, landing on his feet besides Nora. The goliath exploded into smoke behind him.

"Woah..." Jaune stared. "So cool."

He was pulled away just in time to avoid the tusks of the remaining goliath. "Thanks Pyrrha!"

"Your welcome," said Pyrrha through gritted teeth. Really, dragging a male teenager around took a lot of energy. She was even using polarity at this point.

Jaune halted. "Wait! Team JNPR, gather up! We're finishing this!"

"Understood!" Pyrrha stopped besides him. She let go of his hoodie and reactivated Milo and Akuo. Ren and Nora soon joined them.

The goliath tilted its head. It regarded them for a second, then charged.

"ARKOS!" Jaune screamed. He must admit, he probably looked and sounded very cool. He held out his shield. Pyrrha jumped on. She slammed her feet down, sending her at the goliath. She pointed her lance-

A blue light flashed through the goliath. It was cut in two halves.

Pyrrha blinked. _What?_ She unceremoniously fell to the ground, epic move completely wasted.

The goliath evaporated into smoke, revealing Hohenheim with an utterly flat expression on his face.

Jaune squealed. "Is-is that a _light saber?!"_

Indeed, Hohenheim was holding a glowing blue laser sword. He nonchalantly pressed a button on the hilt. The beam disappeared with a _vroom_ effect. " _Technically_ this is Crocea Mors-"

Jaune squealed louder.

"-But I _may_ _or may not_ have gained _some_ inspiration from a certain famous sci-fi series with really bad prequels...please don't call it a light saber, I really don't want to deal with copyright claims."

"I want one!" squeaked Jaune. "Please?!"

Hohenheim snorted. "With how you are now, you'd fall on the thing and impale your private parts before you manage to hit anything."

Nora laughed.

"H-hey!" Jaune slumped, dejected.

" _But_ we do have a week."

He lit up.

"There's zero chance you'll improve enough.

He slumped.

"But I _can_ upgrade Crocea Mors."

He lit up.

"I just need you to explore a volcano."

He slumped. Jaune's brain caught up to his hearing. "WHAT?!"

Hohenheim smirked. "I need some obsidian for my project...and now for your upgrade." He held up a ruby. "We're done here.."

He turned, his coat swooshing behind him. "Let's go." He strolled out the cave.

Jaune gaped. He shut his mouth with a hand. "I hate how cool he looks!"

Ren raised an eyebrow. "He's _you."_

"L-let's roll out, Team JNPR!" Jaune stomped to the entrance, trying, and failing, to look intimidating.

His team followed behind him.

* * *

"Ice Flower!" Ruby shouted. She lined up Crescent Rose with Weiss's Myrtenaster. Beams of ice cased bullets shot into approaching griffons, freezing them. "Bumblebee!"

Yang grabbed the end of Gambol Shroud. Blake shot forward, then abruptly halted to a stop. Gambol Shroud snapped back, sending Yang at the frozen griffons in the air. She grinned.

"Nice knowing you!" Yang slammed her fists into the griffons, shattering them one by one. She rolled to the ground just as beowulf waltzed out of the woods.

Red fanned herself. "I'm so proud."

Moon rolled her eyes. "Sure, sure."

Yang pointed a finger at the two dimension-travelers. "What are you doing anyways?! You two are just sitting in a tree!"

"It's a very nice tree," argued Red. She patted the tree trunk.

"That's BS and you know it!"

Yang backhanded a beowulf. "Why are there so many Grimm anyways?!"

"Oh, that's my fault," said Red nonchalantly.

Weiss almost fell into the arms of a beowulf (which Red would totally pay to see). "Excuse me?!"

Red shrugged. "The Queen of Grimm really hates people with silver eyes."

* * *

Salem sneezed. "I DO NOT SNEEZE!"

"Of course, milady!" said Tyrian, nodding vigorously.

* * *

"She's eyecest."

"That's not a thing," Moon retorted.

Ruby sliced in half a beowulf (how cute!). "But _I_ don't get a lot of Grimm tailing me!"

Red stared. " _Really."_

"Well…" Five beowulf jumped at Ruby. She disappeared in a flurry of roses. The beowulfs toppled into each other. Ruby reappeared behind them and slashed. They turned to dust. "...point."

"Right now, you're just too cute for Salem to bother," explained Red.

"She means too weak," translated Moon.

Blake kicked away a beowulf. She shot it in the head with Gambol Shroud. "Who _is_ Salem anyways? You never gave us too much of the details for that either." She frowned. "Actually, all of you keep a lot of secrets."

"You're one to talk," said Moon. She huffed. "You're almost as rich me."

Blake stumbled.

"Huh?!" Yang stared. She batted away a Grimm.

"It's not important! Really!"

Weiss slashed at a group of beowulf. She jumped back. Ruby quickly followed up with a stroke from Crescent Rose. Weiss inserted Myrenaster into the ground. She gritted her teeth as glyphs stuttered into existence around her.

"That's it!" called Moon. "Think of things you hate!" Turned out that worked too.

An image of a teddy bear appeared in Weiss's mind. It was disrupted by the ground suddenly shaking. Her glyphs disappeared. Weiss growled in frustration, spearing a beowulf angrily.

"Uh...Weiss?" asked Ruby.

" _What?"_

"Maybe you should... _look up a little."_

Weiss did as told. She froze. "That's a big Grimm."

And it was growing bigger. Rocks flew to it, as if it was magnetic. A poor imitation of an arm was appearing.

"What is a Petra Gigas doing here?" wondered Red. She jumped off her tree. "Really, Salem? That's just lazy."

Moon frowned. "It's bigger than usual. Must have had some time to grow." She looked at Red. "Are we dealing with this?"

Meanwhile, the Petra Gigas swung its newly made arm. Weiss was sent flying into the air.

Red shrugged. She stretched. "I need the exercise." She grinned at Team RWBY minus Weiss. "Watch and learn bo-girls, just girls."

Weiss landed in a tree. Birds scattered. "Ugh…"

Yang decided to run over to her tree. "You okay, Ice Queen?"

"Don't call me that!"

"...you're fine."

"It'd still be nice if you help me down!"

Red unhinged her massive killing machine called Crescent Rose. "Let's do this."

Moon smiled. She turned Mytremaster's chamber. It clicked. "Whenever you're ready, partner."

As if on a silent signal, the women dashed.

Ruby felt complete awe as she watched her older self and Moon attack the Petra Gigas. They didn't need any shout out commands or anything of the sort. One could be fooled that they were born working together.

Moon made a series of glyphs. Red slid on just as the arm of the Petra Gigas came down. The last glyph turned black under Moon's command. Red leaped. She sliced off the Petra Gigas's arm as if it was pudding. Moon immediately followed up with a flurry of attacks on the Petra Giga's leg, leaving no time for it to recover. Red landed on the ground next to Moon. She held out Crescent Rose. Moon did the same with Mytremaster. They fired in synchrony. The bullets landed true. Ice sprouted across the body on impact, leaving the Grimm immobile.

Red grinned, she nodded at Moon. Moon rolled her eyes. She slammed Mytremaster into the ground. A ramp of ice spiraled up to the Petra Gigas's face. Red ran up the ramp, turning into roses on the way. She appeared as the blade of Crescent Rose pierced through the Petra Gigas's eye. The Grimm wailed. It disappeared into smoke. The remaining rocks crumbled to the ground as Moon let her ice melt.

Red flashed back to the forest floor, Crescent Rose slung across her shoulders. She ran a hand through her hair and gave a dazzling grin.

Ruby squealed.

"Show off," muttered Moon, sheathing Mytremaster. "We could've finished that in a quarter of the time."

"Shut up."

* * *

"Professor Fall? What does it mean by Non-Mendelian Genetics? I really just don't get it...I mean, I have black hair, my mom has black hair, my dad has black hair, both my grandmas have black hair, both my grandpas have black hair, both my great-great-"

"SHUT UP!" Cinder's eyes burst on fire. "Seriously, shut up! All you fucking need to know for the damn test is that a white chicken and a black chicken make a brown chicken, okay?!"

The class fell unnaturally silent.

"Professor Fall?"

" _What?"_

"You're the best teacher ever!" The whole class cheered.

Cinder started twitching uncontrollably. She wanted _out._ Preferably _now._

Oumdammit, this was torture! And she already experienced _actual_ torture for Oum's sake!

* * *

 **Author's Notes: I've started a Twitter! I think this would be a good way to interact with you guys (...mostly because I'm a lonely shut in who needs social interaction) because I always feel honor by the support you give me (...but mostly because I'm a lonely shut in who needs social interaction)! I don't know….we can discuss RWBY and other nerdy stuff? And I could respond more to your questions? The tag is ArosCao_ARC, don't worry, I don't really need the follows, just the discussion!**

 **Sorry this was posted WAY late...I kinda went overboard with writing, lol.**

 **Beta is bro.**

* * *

 **Omake XXXII: Dear...We have a Problem**

 **Requested By: merendinoemilliano**

"SUN! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!"

Sun jumped. Yang patted his back. "Blake doesn't sound too happy...what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything! Promise!"

Yang raised an eyebrow. "Just get in the damn hospital room."

"Now I don't want to…"

"Dude, it's _your_ wife and _your_ kid. Don't make me go in there. Afterall, you barely won out."

Sun rubbed his hands together to prepare himself. "Dammit, you just had to play that card. Wish me luck."

"Sure, sure, all the luck you need."

Sun walked up to the door and twist the knob. He swallowed. Then he opened the door. Blake was sitting up in the hospital bed...holding a baby faunus.

Sun quickly realized the problem. The baby faunus had _dog_ ears.

Blake glowered at him. "We should've worked through our family tree."

"Aw crap! I forgot that my great-grandfather was a dog faunus!"

"And you already knew my dad was a wolf faunus!"

Sun began sweating. "...can I hold the baby?"

"I WILL KILL YOU WHEN I CAN WALK AGAIN!"

"I don't need to hold the baby!" squeaked Sun. "Uh...have fun on maternity leave! We made a great looking kid, tata!"

He quickly zoomed out the room. The nurse stared at Blake, then at where Sun had just been.

Yang poked her head in. "Welp. Gotta go tell Ruby and Weiss the happy news, see ya around Blake!"

Blake sulked...the worst part? The kid was already growing on her.

* * *

 **PNR Act II: Wherein Team JNPR is formed**

 **Written By: TheSetupMage**

"Ladies, gentlemen, I am here, before you, as your headmaster, as a guiding hand, as a friend, but most importantly as a teacher. And some lessons cannot be taught, but this is not one of them: Without us, without our trust to you, without your trust to us, you will face adversity far harsher than anything you will face alongside us, for your strife will come not from despair, or grief, or fear, but yet with all of them. For it is our duty not to teach you how to fight, not to power you up with some abstract voodoo, but to turn you into people willing to fight to the last breath for a cause you believe in, for friends you believe in, for strangers you believe in, and for foes you believe in. Compassion in the face of hatred, and in forgoing sin, is the most agonising thing we promise. But it is also the greatest jubilation, for every being deserves life, love, and kinship, and no sin, unforgivable. Evil wins in fear, avarice, hatred and despair. With our help, you can cease these, and know to the last that you will have won. There needs not be just one single number one amongst us, when all we need to beat is ourselves. I thank you." Rousing cheer rained down as Headmaster Obi-Wan stepped away from the podium.

"SPEECH APPROVAL RATINGS: 100%. ANALYSIS: ROUSING SUCCESS. ALL STUDENTS ARE TO REST IN AREA: MAIN HALL.

AT 8AM, ALL STUDENTS MUST HAVE RECONVENED AT AREA: CLIFF, ZONE:L'APPEL DU VIDE" shouted Omega, through his loudspeaker installation.

"Hmph. Once I have ascended beyond, to acquire my throne at the top of this world once more, there will be no need for hatred, or despair, or revenge, lest it be at my behest. After all, we do so disparage boring stories, don't we?"

"Now there's something I can drink to, buddy. That ride the big D, Doviculus, gave me, had me on edge every moment. Seriously, I did not see half of that stuff coming."

"Huh, guy like you, didn't figure you'd let a big D take you for a ride."

"Well, it wasn't exactly voluntary, but I still had fun. Didn't expect that comin' from you, Jackie."

"Down 'ere."

An electric blue, electric sheep hovered at his crotch height.

"And you ain't using me for a pillow."

One which had clearly seen some things, most of which he could not recommend.

"Ah, now who might you be, child?" Jack intoned.

"A 45-year-old handyman from up north england. Played bass in a cover band called the Beige Warm Fried Taties, did Spiders every Friday. No guesses as to what we covered, but by the end I grew sick of Under T' Bridge. Oh, and name's Neil Tesla."

"Wait, how do you play bass, dude?"

"Apparently, because of some kinda gag to do with my ancestor, the original Nikola Tesla, I was pulled away from my girl Estelle, smokin' I tell ya, and my beautiful baby boy John, who'll be turning 6 in a week, all a good five years ago, to be a consarnt sheep. I glow, too, so I can't even get any ryddy sleep. So, for five long years, I fought toof an nail against rats to stay alive, an' two days ago, the same...bloke... what made me into a sheep in the first place, walks up as a lady, with a cheerful dinosaur by his-her? Side, of all things, and then a snake made of rocks fell on me. Now, I just fight for her entertainment, helping her collect more slaves. Oh, and the dinosaur, Lavender, is pretty nice. She just wants everyone to be happy, and is prone to shouting "MUR STAKE!" when she hits anything with her head. I think it's a reference to a hero of hers. But Cecilia...grr...she's nothing more than a cruel megalomaniac who wants the entire world contained in her tiny cages, and then to give everything obscure musical references as names. She calls herself after a Foo Fighters album, god damn it! I was about to be renamed Funkadelic... Not as bad as a Train or Robbie Williams reference, and the genre is right, but still... No matter what, avoid her like the plague."

"Oh, I had no idea you felt that way... Why didn't you speak up?"

Suddenly, a lady riding on a yellow dinosaur appeared, almost out of convenience to a semblance of a plot!

"Yeah, almost."

I can just as easily rewrite you into Marofyl, he never talked back. You're only here because I decided on giving Juliano Ankh Two a break for Lavender.

"Thank you! I'm sure he's having a wonderful time!"

He's just made it to Dantooine, actually.

"Can we get back to the plot?"

"The plot only goes to sleep after this, you're not even supposed to be here, mate."

"Ugh, all of you imbeciles who would deign to incur my wrath, by inciting such petulant insolence for petty indolence, it is my greatest warning yet, that you should cease, for heed that should you fail to do so, I shall leash forth a thousand years of agony exponential, the likes of which death is no-"

ktonk!"*thump*thumpthumpthump*

As all the bodies hit the floor, a wooden plank was seen boomeranging back to the shadowy figure of a ninja.

Reaver- Fable II

Wallace - Wallace and Gromit

Barnacle Boy - SpongeBob Squarepants

Yamcha - Dragon Ball

Jack of Blades - Fable

Neil Tesla - My Mareep from Pokémon HeartGold.

Peddie Riggs - Brütal Legend

Salem - Slim Shady, a Marshall Mathers III(Eminem) character.

C - Craig Charles, ex-presenter of Robot Wars

M - Mercury, of RWBY

E - Emmet, The Lego Movie

* * *

 **Omake XXIV: Time Travel, because Time Travel, because Time Travel.**

 **Written By: TheSetupMage**

fshwoom*

"Oh, er... Hello there!"

"Hi! Wait, you don't seem that surprised to see me."

"We already had a few time travellers."

"But that's not canon!"

"Pshaw! And you are?"

"I'm Ruby Rose from a canon stemming more from the original canon, so... yes?"

"And also further in the future?"

"Yes, that too." Just to prove her point, the newcomer Ruby floated on her 10 jet wings, flicked down both a scouter and a H.U.D. further out, a 6-metre-long curved blade as a left forearm, and a 9-metre sniper from the left.

"There's not really a more canon, and you probably cheated with those jets, so, you're about as canon as that Ruby."

And, with all the convenience of a minor antagonist in a chapter of a story that hopped into the Omake spot of a fanfiction that honestly deserves to be bigger, another Ruby appeared from a blacky-red blur that's a little heavy-handed with its existential foreshadowing.

"Haya guys! Am I late to the party?"

"Party?"

"Have you not done this before, Jet Ruby-let's call you Jet, actually-by which I mean cavorting with yourself from a previous time?"

"No, the technology doesn't come about for years."

"Ah, you don't need that! You just need your semblance, which you've had since you unlocked it when visiting your mama's grave, and just a hint of faunus luck, which you get from papa Tyrian! Oh hi there!" She waved with her blister-red tail and wristblades towards the newcomer, another Ruby, only this time, she was blindfolded and had a ninja star floating around her, which she kept trying to eat. Her response came out as a muttering of "...darn...back in my day...cookies...Horlicks...prunes, so many prunes..." followed by "OY! GET ME PRUNES! AND HORLICKS! TREAT YER ELDERS WITH RESPECT, YOU BLIGHTERS!"

"Well, that was interesting! Sorry, I've gotta get back to papa Tyrian. He gets murdery if he gets lonely. C'mon, Ruby!", and Ruby Callows plucked the Ruby in the shape of Crescent Rose from the portal that just appeared, and then left.

"I can learn nothing here. I'll go see if Oscar wants to replace anything else. Ooh!" And Jet left. (everybody confused )

"Wait, don't leave me! No!"

"HEY! I'M RIGHT HERE DONTCHERKNOW! I'm still hungry! And if y'all ain't got prunes, then I might hafta take some'in a little sweeter, if'n you catch ma drift..."

"Why am I always a sexual devia-a-ant!?" Ruby sobbed, running away.

"Hmph. Shoulda been glad I was offerin'! I usually don't put out for free! But for the matter at hand, I was actually talkin' 'bout you, kitty..."

A very conflicted Blake pulled out her earbuds, and put her book to the side, and the sound of Ginyu Tokkusentai filled the air. Hey, she has dreams of stylishly posing at her foes, too.

"Sure. Why not. Because apparently, I'm exactly like that, and not, y'know, a multifaceted character, but rather, I'm simply a cat in heat. Y'know, I really should report this for being highly racist, but first, I've got to end this segment with a bang." *bang*

"And I didn't mean you, old lady."

camera falls.*

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Bobo77: *nods sagely* of course**

 **Treefrogger: =)**

 **LancerOfWhite: I'm already dying from the amount of characters I'm dealing with! Maybe later in Vol 3...and lol.**

 **Dev the snake faunus: Next chp...this one is already way too long...I have epicness planned out!**

 **MrDapperFTW: I ship either way, lol...as long as Team RWBY gets together and NO ENABLER**

 **Meeyaaargh3412: I hope your liver recovered enough to die again…**

 **Merendinoemiliano: Marron is working on it...slowly. Again, sorry for not including a response in SNE...I blame it on lack of sleep. And sorry for the miscommunication, I meant that Fanfiction was weird for not letting you post a review, I could've worded it better...hope you enjoyed the omake!**

 **Xyander64: What about therapy?**

 **JackTheSpades: I plan on this story being mostly light-hearted, but we'll see =), glad you enjoy it.**

 **Phoenix 7.49: I have decided Ozpin is an idiot. Like who in their right mind decides to create eyes that can hurt their own creation?!**

 **TheSetupMage: Thanks for the added sheet of info! And TT: bwn? Is not ending anytime soon...lol. And yes, I am copy pasting these, it would be a pain not to!**

* * *

 **Please tell me what you think in Twitter ArosCao_ARC, link in my profile!**

 **And Review, Favourite, and Follow if ya think it's worth it!**


	23. Your Everyday Field Trip (Pt 3)

**Chp XXII: Your Everyday Field Trip (Part 3)**

 **Disclaimer: RWBY is not mine**

 **"DAMMIT WHY THE HELL IS THIS SO LONG?!" ~ ARC**

* * *

"Y-you just...broke into a house," Weiss stammered, pointing at the now opened door to a very nice looking house in the middle of seemingly nowhere. Two levels, made of wood, pretty garden...yup, a place to start a family if you're into that sort of thing.

"For your information," said Red, walking in nonchalantly. "It _is_ technically my property." She threw off her boots.

Blake stared.

Yang held up a key. "...we have a key, why do we need to use a lockpick?"

In Moon's hand was a lockpick. She threw it to the side seeing as it was now useless. "Because it's entertaining...and I _do_ need to practice."

"Practice for what?!" Weiss asked incredulously.

"Well…" Moon walked in the Xiao Long-Rose residence. "Haven't you ever wanted to spy on couples as they...do their thing?"

"NO!"

"Trust me, it's much better than videos." Moon slid off her high heels. "Sometimes I let Dragon come with...and she draws on their faces."

Yang had decided it was paramount to cover Ruby's ears at this point. Too bad her dear little sister was resisting. Ruby flew into the house and reappeared from a flutter of rose petals, slamming into the couch.

Red laughed. "My Oum, seeing Qrow with a mustache for a week, priceless!"

"You should've seen Raven's expression," mused Moon. She walked to the kitchen. For all intents and purposes, Moon saw Raven, or at least her dimension's Raven a lot more than Red did. Being the girlfriend of the grouchy bandit leader turned grouchy mother trying to make up for abandoning her daughter and than trying to kill her tends to do that.

Huh, Moon wondered what Raven's reaction would be now that Dragon and Moon were engaged...without telling her.

She was _so_ looking forward to it.

Yang tossed her boots onto the ground. She turned and grinned at Blake and Weiss. "Do I get the honor of introducing you two fine ladies to the Xiao Long-Rose residence?" For added effect, she bowed.

"I think I can find my way around…" said Blake. Her eyes examined her surroundings.

Red slapped her on the back, sending her stumbling forward into the house. "Yeah, _your_ house is a lot bigger." Red frowned. "Until you set it on fire anyways...but then it was rebuilt, so eh."

"W-what?" Blake gasped.

"...I always thought she was an orphan or something of that sort," mumbled Weiss, settling next to Yang.

"Seconded," Yang whispered back.

"Hey, maybe we should visit Menagerie this break," said Red. "Moon! What do you think?"

"As long as I don't get killed for my looks!" Moon said from the kitchen. "And why the hell does your refrigerator have _so many drinks?"_

"Oh...I forgot about that," said Ruby. She was laying upside down on the couch. "We had a contest…"

"...I'm not going to ask for details," decided Weiss.

Yang slung an arm around her shoulders. "So...about that tour?"

A faint blush trailed up Weiss's neck. "Why not?"

Red grinned. "Remember, we have six more days to go through!"

* * *

Jaune slumped onto the floor of the aircraft. "Why..." he whimpered. "Why are we spending the night _here?"_ He slammed his head into the ground and immediately regretted it seeing as the floor was made of steel. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

Hohenheim rolled his eyes from the other end of the aircraft. He twiddled with a pitch black cube. "Look on the bright side, you aren't sleeping in the woods with insufficient supplies while its raining and you're very lost."

"That sounds…" Even _Pyrrha_ couldn't suger coat it. "...awful."

Ren just sighed and covered his head with a pillow (which Hohenheim had the good graces to supply...two, meaning he had to _share…._ with _Nora._ On que, Nora nearly suffocated Ren by jumping on top of him. He grunted.

"It was mostly Red's fault," said Hohenheim. "She can't read maps."

Pyrrha blinked. "What?"

"Lights out," said Hohenheim. The aircraft went pitch black.

Jaune screamed.

"Jeezes, I really need to work on you. Good thing we have six days."

* * *

' _Remind me again why we can't just call an aircraft and hightail it out of here?'_ typed Neo. She sat at a log, next to Illia. Neo absentmindedly shot fire into the campfire they had set up in the middle of the woods somewhere.

Well, at least it wasn't raining.

"Because it's fun!" said Dragon. She pulled a beer out of nowhere and started chugging. "Hey, let's tell scary stories!"

Vernal suddenly paled. "Uh…"

Belladonna was too busy reading her scroll. Every once in a while she would look up to check on the shivering pilot laid out on the ground. Belladonna had diagnosed her with hyperthermia...it was kind of obvious seeing as the poor gal was found gripping onto an aircraft wing for dear life after three hours.

"Why not?" said Illia. She colored slightly (and quite literally) when everyone's attention were directed on her. "I mean...we did it all the time in the White Fang."

Dragon chortled. "Hahaha...three terrorists sitting at a camp...why don't you start then, Illia?"

Marron whimpered from his sprawled position on the grass floor.

Vernal silently did the same. Sadly, Raven Branwen was a _scarily_ (pun totally intended) good horror story teller. And she _loved_ to do it to little kids.

"Well…" Illia glanced at Belladonna. "There once was a man with two souls…"

Belladonna hid a smile with her scroll.

* * *

Cinder numbly collapsed on her bed.

Today was an exhausting day.

To the point where she was actually missing her two disciples _a little_.

Where she _was too tired to kill anything._

Yeah, it was that bad.

* * *

 **Field Trip Day: 2**

* * *

Red ripped the bedsheet off of Yang and Weiss, sending the two of them onto the floor. "New day, lovebirds!"

"AHH-what? We're _not_ lovebirds!" Weiss screamed. She jumped around ten feet away from Yang, but who's counting?

"Ugh...mmm, wake me up in an hour, Ruby…" Yang grabbed the pillow (on the floor thanks to Red) and stayed asleep.

"Damn, I forgot the days where Yang was a heavy sleeper," noted Red. She gave a little nostalgic smile. "Awww, so cute."

Then she was pulling out her scroll and taking pictures. _...Dad's gonna love these...and Raven._

Weiss felt a twinge of dejection that Yang _hadn't_ reacted.

"RUBY!" Red called. "Bring in the ice bucket!" Might as well kick that trend off the list...again.

"On it!"

 _What on Remnant?!_ Weiss thought.

* * *

"So for survival in the wild wilderness, you need all the essentials of the human being-or faunus being," said Dragon as they walked through the tropical forest.

Vernal saw a slug on Neo's shoulder. She promptly threw a fireball at it. As expected, it took care of the slug...and also incinerated part of Neo's outfit. The criminal turned student swirled around, eyes already burning.

Illia and Marron ran for the nearest cover, which turned out to be a rock and a bush.

Dragon raised an eyebrow. Then she clapped her hands together. "Alright! Looks like that promised match is happening _right now."_

"A little earlier than intended," said Belladonna drily. She shifted the pilot draped over her shoulder.

"Bring it on," growled Vernal. Slug be darn, she wanted to release some pent up energy.

In response, Neo lit her hands on fire.

* * *

Hohenheim kicked Jaune awake. He knew Jaune was used to waking up to pain thanks to a seriously stupid amount of sisters, so he wasn't worried.

"Bleh, _ow_!

As a result, however, Pyrrha was also awakened from her slumber.

Hohenheim actually kind of felt bad.

Then all he had to do was remind himself that she was the one who kissed him and then promptly left to die. Yeah, it was totally in his right to get a _little_ bit of revenge.

"Good morning," he said cooly (dating Coco really helps with the whole sounding like a badass thing). "It's training time."

Nearby, Ren groaned. He was admittedly a morning person...and seeing as they'd been together for years (not together together), Nora was as well.

"Oooh, what are we going to do?!" asked Nora excitedly.

"Hm…" Hohenheim hummed. "I heard mountain training was an excellent way to build strength and stamina."

Jaune paled. "Uh...about wanting that lightsaber…"

"It's not a lightsaber."

* * *

"Thank you, Governor Hope, for inviting us to this wonderful island," said Moon, completely switching into business form at the sight of the politician. So much so that Team RWBY basically got whiplashed. They stared at Moon.

Governor Hope, an average height, incredibly forgettable middle aged man shook Moon's hand. "It truly is an honor to host the new SDC CEO."

"The pleasure's all mine," said Moon. "Now if you'll excuse us, we have statues to vanda-I mean, Grimm to exterminate."

"Of course." Governor Hope gave Moon a wink. "Perhaps we can share a-"

"Apologies, but I don't swing that way."

Governor Hope blinked. It took him a few seconds to digest Moon's information. He was joined by Weiss, who's jaw had dropped to the ground. Yang whistled from the side. Red coughed something that sounded suspiciously like ' _burn, sucker!'._

"I uh...I see," stammered the governor. He backed away to his office door. "It was nice meeting you! I-sorry for the misunderstanding!" He promptly shut himself in his office.

Red tilted her head. "Huh. At least we didn't need to pretend we were a thing again."

Ruby joined Weiss in the 'jaw on the floor' club.

Moon grinned. "You _are_ a decent kisser."

"Why, thank you."

"But you do not beat Dragon."

"You're biased!"

* * *

Hohenheim had already made it to the top of the mountain, the damn bastard. The humiliation was _real_ seeing as they had all started at the bottom of the mountain (which, by the way, Hohenheim had landed the aircraft at).

So now Jaune was sweating, in anguish, and completely sore all over. He grabbed a ledge and pulled himself up, then an indent. Rinse and repeat.

Pyrrha stayed besides him, though he knew if she just used her semblance the right way, she would be done in no time flat.

Oum, he totally did not deserve her. "T-thanks, Pyrrha."

The red-head blushed. "Just do your best, Jaune." She magnetized herself up another level.

Ren and Nora were a few levels ahead. Nora was using her hammer to burst the two of them up, but then Ren was responsible for attaching them to the mountain with StormFlower or else they would fall to their death. Essentially a system built on absolute trust.

Jaune was _almost_ jealous, but he had lived with seven sisters long enough to know that absolute trust came at a seriously high cost.

He pulled out Crocea Mors and slashed it into the mountain side, then he pulled himself up onto a ledge big enough for him to rest on. He took a quick water break.

There was no way he was going to fall behind just because he was a little, okay a _lot_ inexperienced compared to the rest of his team, the team he _lead._ Yeah, Jaune was going to be on equal footing. He slashed Crocea Mors into the mountain again, and then pulled himself up again.

He suddenly felt a tug upwards. He pulled himself up on Crocea Mors, than repeated it. The movements were suddenly a lot easier.

Oh...Pyrrha. Jaune looked up at his somehow girlfriend.

She gave him a little smile, one hand stretched out at him. "Working together goes a long way…" She looked up. "Shall we try to beat Nora and Ren?"

Jaune felt his heart soar a little. He grinned. "They're on."

He took Pyrrha's hand, causing her eyes to widen in surprise, but she quickly pulled him up.

Hohenheim looked down at the two sets of partners racing for the top, energy practically bursting out of them..

 _Yeah, this is what you missed out on, stupid idiot._

And pffft, he definitely didn't wipe away any water from his eyes.

* * *

"Y'know, I hope we don't have to pay for this mess," said Dragon, looking out at the field of destruction Neo vs. Vernal had caused. It resembles that of a nuclear bombing.

Neo had a giant shit-eating smirk on her face. Above her head was an illusionary sign that said 'RESPECT YOUR ELDERS'. Not that it did much good seeing as Vernal was dead fainted on the ground.

Belladonna frowned. "Now I hope this _is_ a random island in the middle of nowhere. Those wildlife employees are _scary."_

This is one of those rare times where Dragon shivered. "Yeah...no kidding."

Marron tried to unsee the copious amounts of clothing missing from both Neo and Vernal at the moment. He slammed his head into his hands and crumpled to the ground.

Illia was admittedly in the same situation. Though she coped with it but asking the age old question, ' _the fuck is wrong with humans?'_

* * *

Cinder groaned into her pillow, which was admittedly a lot better than any pillow Salem had given to her to use.

 _My Oum, kids these days are stupid...or maybe it's just because they have a stupid Headmaster who can barely tell left from right!_

 _Don't worry, Cinder, just a little more of this torture._

* * *

 **Field Trip Day: 3**

* * *

"Mmmmmmf," Jaune said into his pillow.

He was attacked by a spider droid courtesy of Hohenheim.

"Ahh! What the hell?!" Jaune grappled with the thing.

Pyrrha suddenly held a lance in her hand. She went to spear the spider droid. She missed as the spider droid jumped around, narrowly avoiding decapitating Jaune.

"Sorry!"

"I-it's fine!" Jaune grabbed Crocea Mors from the side of his bed. He slashed at the spider droid, it jumped away. He slammed down his sword, creating a nice indent in the ground, before hurriedly slicing upwards, cutting the spider droid in two. He took in a few quick breaths then pointed an accusing finger at Hohenheim. "What was that for?!"

"To test your reflexes," said Hohenheim dully. He ran a hand through his hair. "We might as well actually sign in with the governor."

"And what are we going to say to them?" wondered Ren, coming out of the bathroom with dripping wet hair and a towel wrapped around his neck. He was thankfully otherwise dressed. "Hi, we decided to take two days in the mountains?"

Hohenheim snorted. "No, we're playing the old 'we got lost' trick."

In the background, Nora held up a thumbs up sign.

* * *

"Now listen girls and boy," said Dragon. "We need to hunt."

NVIM collectively blinked.

"Well, we can't run off of coconut and berries forever," Dragon reasoned.

' _I think we get that,'_ wrote Neo. ' _But that's it?'_

Dragon winked. "Remember, Grimm don't attack animals."

Belladonna sighed. "Whichever set of partners gets the most kills, Grimm counting, won't have to do anything tomorrow."

Suddenly Team NVIM disappeared from the clearing.

"I had that," said Dragon.

* * *

"Hm...has there ever been a mustache Ozpin?" wondered Red. She graffitied on a red mustache to the great Onyx Silverheart.

"Yes," said Moon distractedly. She was busy painting on some pink polo pants to the legs. "I believe it was Orwin Graham the Third or something of that sort."

"CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON?!" yelled Weiss. She had been left to hold the paint buckets.

Yang patted her back for moral support.

"...wait, Moon. What about a _girl_ Ozpin?"

A pause. "We need to do some research."

* * *

"Well, that was easy enough," said Hohenheim. Team JNPR plus Hohenheim walked down the village road.

"He was staring at you like you were the most unprofessional huntsman he's ever seen!" hissed Jaune.

"Hmph. People's impression of you don't matter until you act."

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

"That sounds suspiciously like an excuse," muttered Ren.

Hohenheim suddenly pulled out his ligh-uh...Crocea Mors. "Let's fight."

"In the middle of a street?" asked Pyrrha worriedly. There were already people stopping and staring.

"Mommy? Is that a lightsaber?" A little boy tugged at his mother's arm.

"That's nice, honey," said the mother, occupied with her scroll.

"It's not a lightsaber!" shouted Hohenheim. Then he looked at Team JNPR and gave a sadistic smirk. "... _but_ how else are we supposed to show the governor-and the whole village-how good we are?"

Team JNPR felt shivers up their back.

* * *

Dragon frowned at the path of complete destruction thanks to Neo and Vernal and mildly compared it to the near nonexistent path of Illia and Marron. "Whose great idea was it to put Neo and Vernal on the same team again?"

"Blame Ozpin," said Belladonna.

"It's always Ozpin."

"He _is_ responsible for 99.9% of our problems."

"True that."

"Who won anyways?"

Belladonna snorted. "Illia and Marron."

"Huh." Dragon checked the path of mass destruction again. "Never would've thought."

"They scared away all the animals...Grimm too."

"Makes sense."

"And they were arguing too. I have it on tape, makes excellent blackmail."

"...I can always count on you, Blakey."

* * *

Pyrrha was sent flying into a coffee shop, obliterating the window. "Sorry!" she apologized through gritted teeth.

The customers and employees stared.

A flash of white with a blonde streak came through, smashing past the wall, into Pyrrha, and out the other side of the coffee shop.

Shopkeeper #132 pointed an angry finger at the hole that was left in the wall.

Jaune threw up in a garbage can before Pyrrha slammed into him. They were sent tumbling down the alley.

Pyrrha landed on top of Jaune, which may or may not tell of…*ahem* other such positions. They became a blushing, apologizing mess.

"Uhh...sorry."

"S-sorry!"

"No, sorry."

"Yeah...s-sorry."

Hohenheim rolled his eyes. "Teenage hormones."

Meanwhile, Ren and Nora were squished together in hiding in a dumpster truck...that started moving.

Well shit.

* * *

Cinder slammed her head into her newly owned teacher's desk (which admittedly was a lot better than anything Salem had given to her). Getting a nice desk was great, perfect for an amazing evil mastermind like Cinder, but grading papers _was not._

"Stupid kids," she seethed as she put a giant X on an assignment. Then she remembered she couldn't do that. She x-ed out the X, making another X.

Cinder slammed her head into the desk again, effectively cracking it.

* * *

 **Field Trip: Day 4**

* * *

"Y'know, I feel like we should be doing a lot more to stop Salem," said Red absentmindedly, gulping down a cup of coffee.

Moon joined her at the dining table. She swirled her own cup of jo. "Well, we have plenty of time...and it feels like our enemies are dropping into our laps anyhow."

Blake had been walking down the stairs and rubbing her eyes. At the sound of Red and Moon talking, she quickly backed against the staircase and listened. Hey, old habits die hard.

"True that. But this time they can't exactly pretend to be transfer students," pointed out Red. She snorted. "Though seeing Tyrian in an uniform, sitting in class would be freaking _hilarious._

Moon choked on her coffee. "W-which reminds me. We should probably deal with Lionheart."

Blake's cat ears perked up. Wasn't that Haven Academy's Headmaster?

"Ah yeah, poor guy. Don't get me wrong, he totally deserved what happened to him, but he was just a...scaredy cat."

"...you _did not_ just do that."

"Argh, couldn't resist!"

"We should also bring in the Winter Maiden," noted Moon. "The last thing we need is to neglect her and than she gets murdered and we go on a wild goose chase for the next Winter Maiden."

"If we wanna defeat Salem quick, we need the artifacts," said Red. "The last thing _I_ need is to go blind in the only eye I have left and shatter my soul while I'm at it."

 _What artifacts? Why would Red go blind in one eye and how the hell does a soul shatter?_ Blake asked in her head incredously.

"Agreed," Moon said. "We need the artifacts."

"Welp, looks like we're taking a detour on our way to Menagerie. Cheers."

There was a clank as mugs hit.

"...I'll deal with Atlas once we get back," said Moon. "Who's doing Vacuo?"

"We'll figure it out. Right now I wanna enjoy our vacation in our vacation."

"About our vacation in our vacation…" drawled Moon. "Admittedly, this Team RWBY will have much less experience in the field than our team RWBY."

"Cruuuuud, you're right."

Blake felt a little insulted.

"So, I have taken the time to plan a...training regime."

"Training regime?"

"As in we beat them up till they can handle it."

"Lovely."

Blake scurried up the stairs. She had to warn her teammates!

* * *

Team JNPR were all very sore. In fact, they were all so sore that they had trouble doing _normal things_ , even in the airship.

...like walking.

Jaune had made a makeshift cane with Crocea Mors. He made a very convincing old person. "...d-dammit! I still have so many years ahead of me! Bathroom, wait for me!"

Pyrrha sent him a sympathetic look. She was too busy nursing her arms to actually go over and help him. Not to mention Hohenheim had _also_ given her a sentence to recite. And in his words, it was: 'repeat: _dying does not make you a hero_ so much that you hear it every waking moment-and every non-waking moment-of your life'.

She was starting to wonder what on Remnant her other-very much dead-self did exactly. At the same time, Pyrrha definitely _did not_ want to know.

"Dying does not make you a hero...dying does not make you a hero," she muttered under her breath as she tested her arm muscles. She winced as aches ran up her arm.

Meanwhile, Nora stood up and promptly fell face first to the ground. "Ugh...I'm pooped."

Ren sat in a meditating position. He opened one eye. "Perhaps we should take the day off today?"

"That's the plan." Hohenheim, previously missing in action, suddenly appeared leaning on the doorframe. He clapped his hands together. "After all, tomorrow is volcano day!"

Team JNPR simultaneously groaned. Jaune tripped on Crocea Mors and fell to the ground with a thump.

Hohenheim pushed himself off the doorframe. "I've got work to do, enjoy yourself!" He lazily walked towards the cockpit.

"What work?!" Jaune exclaimed while complaining in the same time. He rolled himself onto his back.

"How insulting," said Hohenheim. "Fifty push-ups, teacher's orders."

"Wha-I mean, of course! You, Hohenheim the great, has _always_ been the bearer of great responsibility! Truly, you are stupendously busy with all you need to achieve!" Jaune added exaggerated hand motions to help with his display.

The rest of his Team stared at him. Pyrrha was impressed.

"...you're let go this time," decided Hohenheim. He jumped into the cockpit, disappearing from JNPR's view.

Jaune let out a sigh of relief. "Phew...wait-bathroom!" He started crawling across the airship.

"...I don't think today will be a day of enjoyment," said Ren dully.

"Dying does not make you a hero-dying does not make you a hero…"

* * *

' _THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.'_ was what was nicely posted on an illusionary billboard Neo had set up to always be above her head. She carefully took a tree from between two stacked tree by using wind before shakily stacking it on top of the giant tower of trees. The whole formation shaked. Neo shivered.

She turned and pointed a thumb back at the three story high formation.

Vernal paled as she looked up and down the volatile construction.

Meanwhile, a good mile away, on a hillside, Marron and Illia worriedly watched the rapidly growing tree tower.

"I can't wait to light that thing on fire," said Dragon. She looked very comfortable with her cape and leather jacket thrown to the side, sunbathing on her back.

"So that's why you made them play the world's most dangerous Jenga game," Blake observed. She flicked her scroll to the next page of Ninjas of Love #77.

"No-I mean, yeah, but no. It teaches teamwork...because they have to work together not to die!"

Belladonna sent Dragon an unimpressed look. "And you clearly put a lot of thought into this."

Dragon laughed way too loud. "Yeah, totally!"

Marron fished a set of poker cards from his back pocket. He looked at Illia. "...time to kill?"

Illia narrowed her eyes. Then she felt amber eyes stare into her back. "Uh...w-why not?"

There was a loud boom as a tree fell onto the ground.

Birds flew into the sky in surprise.

"BE CAREFUL! THAT COULD'VE BEEN MY HEAD!"

Any birds left were quickly scared away by Vernal's screaming.

Belladonna raised an eyebrow at Dragon.

"...they'll get the memo eventually?"

* * *

"This is not how I wanted to spend my dayyyyyyyyy!"

Ruby Rose, future epic silver-eye warrior, defeater of Salem, was getting chased by a Penguin...and losing.

Zwei barked to cheer her on in the sidelines. Meaning the grass.

The Xiao Long-Rose residence certainly had a nice backyard.

"Fuu..." *Looks at Ruby* "...frag! Dad's gonna kill me!" Yang exclaimed as she pulled a flower out of her hair. She formed a fist, effectively squishing the flower. Then she got on her feet and stamped on the flowers on accident. Her eyes turned red as she faced Red (very fitting). "I'm getting in trouble because of _you!"_ She leaped at Red, fists at the ready.

"Isn't that what sisters do?" Red sidestepped. She grabbed Yang's arm and used the brawler's momentum against her, swinging her into a tree. Then she suddenly appeared at Yang's side and sliced the tree horizontally with Crescent Rose. Yang had to roll away as to avoid becoming a new pancake.

"Grrr!" Yang charged at Red.

Red rolled her eye. "You remind me of emo-Hohenheim. Think before you try to get yourself killed."

She kneed Yang in the stomach, the brawler went up into the air. Red did a handstand and kicked with both legs. Yang was sent flying across the open area. A ribbon wrapped around her waist and pulled her into a tree.

"...that's my Blake," mused Red. Then she realized it was probably very weird to think of a seventeen year old as she did her romantic partner, technically same people aside. She looked up at the sky. "Okay...that just got really disturbing."

"Thanks, Blakey," said Yang, hanging off of a tree branch. Luckily, they were hidden in the leaves so the evil monster that was Red would probably stay away... _probably._

Blake peeled her eyes away from Red (she was peering through the leaves) and looked at Yang. "Don't call me that."

Yang pouted. "Come on! I'm pretty sure I heard Dragon call Belladonna that once or twice."

"You're imagining things. Weiss is the one you should be giving pet names to."

"What? Ice Queen? Why?" Yang blinked.

Blake stared at her. She let out a breath. "You've got to be kidding me."

Not that she was one to talk considering she somehow never noticed Illia's *ahem* _feelings._

Blake unwinded Gambol Shroud. Yang fell headfirst into the ground. The brawler pulled her head out of the dirt and shook it. Dammit, her hair! "What was that for?!"

Then she noticed an incoming red streak. "BLAKEY!"

Blake cringed as she propelled herself into another tree with the help of her shadow clone. While she might have the urge to help Yang-the tree she had just been in exploded-she _did not_ feel like dying a painful death at the moment.

Another tree exploded behind her. Blake definitely doesn't take back her statement. She looked forward, leaped into another tree. Yes, she was going to come out of this scratch free!-...or not.

A giant white Lancer suddenly appeared from below her. It let out an ear piercing screech.

Blake's cat ears flattened. She readied Gambol Shroud. This was not going to go well.

"Get angry," advised Moon, walking around a still Weiss, whose eyes were closed. "Like people stealing your cake…"

Weiss twitched.

"Or being forced to work on free days."

Twitch.

Moon held up a theatrical hand. "Or Oum forbid! Someone finds your collection of penguin plushies!"

A tick mark appeared on Weiss's head.

Then red rose petals zipped past her, spinning the heiress around. Weiss lost focus and had to open her eyes to help study herself. A penguin then proceeded to jump on her head before wobbling at unnatural speeds trying to catch the red rose petals.

"Sorry!"

"DOLT!" A giant glyph appeared on the ground behind Weiss. A white knight struggled to pulled itself out. As it made its first step, it dissipated into frost.

Weiss spun around, seething. "Well?! Let's get on with it!"

Moon placed a hand on her chin. "Well, that's one way to do it...nothing like a Ruby to get the job done."

"What?" Weiss blinked.

* * *

"Ms. Fall?" A student asked innocently.

Cinder twitched. "Yes?"

"Have you ever...fell?"

"DETENTION!"

"Yes ma'am!" squeaked the student.

* * *

"You two look absolutely wonderful!" said Dragon cheerfully.

Neo, who was covered in leaves and dirt, and Vernal, who was missing a good part of clothing on her back and was covered in bark, sent her equally unimpressed looks.

"And you know what? Great job saving Vernal's life, Neo!"

Neo looked away. ' _It was double self-preservation.'_

"That makes no sense," Marron whispered to Illia.

The chameleon faunus had to agree with that.

"Great job to you too, Vernal! You managed to _not_ attempt murder on Neo the _whole day!"_

Vernal shifted the dirt with her foot. "...one time thing."

Dragon beamed. She looked up at the four-story high contraption made of giant tree trunks and down at the floor littered with broken trunks. "Now let's burn this thing to the ground!"

Neo's eyes turned white. ' _WHAT.'_

"But we spent all day building it!" complained Vernal.

"That's the point," said Dragon, nodding to herself sagely.

Neo looked at Belladonna incredulously as if to ask 'is this normal?'.

"...she might seem stupid on the outside, but she's actually very intelligent...mostly," Belladonna said dully. "I don't trust IQ tests anymore."

Dragon lit a fist on fire. "Alright guys! Time to do this thing!"

"...she also has been diagnosed as a pyromaniac," added Belladonna. Never mind that you couldn't be diagnosed as a pyromaniac and Belladonna (not a real doctor) had diagnosed Dragon. "...and we should probably run."

Marron got the memo and started scrambling for cover. Illia quickly followed. Vernal and Neo took to the skies. Belladonna just sighed before walking off, dragging the pilot with her.

A good minute later, a mini mushroom cloud erupted above the island.

BOOM!

It was all very dramatic.

* * *

 **Field Trip Day: 5**

* * *

"Alright girls!" exclaimed Red, hands on her hip. "Today…! Ugh...what are we doing today, Moon?"

Moon shrugged. "You're the leader."

Team RWBY stared at the two dimensional travelers from the couch.

Red pinched her nose. "Well...let's see what Governor Hope has to offer."

"A fine ide-"

"I take that back," Red cut in. "Moon...Hohenheim plans to make a fortune by using the past."

Moon froze. Then she unfroze with a dark look etched on her face. "This. Is. War."

"Oooh, so we're going to stop him, right?!" Ruby bounced up and down. "Like heroes stopping the villain from causing chaos!"

Red snorted. "No."

Ruby blinked. "Huh?"

"Moon, ask Belladonna if she can find a record of the lottery numbers."

Moon pulled out her scroll. "...on it."

Weiss jumped up. "This-this is a felony!"

"...is it a felony when there's technically no law against it?" asked Yang, a question mark _almost_ literally appearing over her head.

"W-well…"

* * *

Belladonna's scroll rang. She instantly jumped up, rendering herself, and everyone else, awake. She rubbed her eyes and fished out her scroll.

Cue grown. "...dammit, Moon, it's _eight in the morning."_ Belladonna's sentence turned more into a growl by the end.

"It was all worth it," said Dragon, an arm over her eyes. She grinned. "...totally worth it."

"I _hate_ late nights." Belladonna opened her scroll:

 _Weiss: Red has intel. Hohenheim is using the past to get rich._

 _Weiss: you can find those lottery numbers?_

Belladonna mildly noted that she hasn't changed the contact names yet. She already knew she was never going to change those names. She couldn't help but smirk.

 _Blake: Can I ever?_

 _Weiss: is that a-_

 _Blake: yes, it's a yes_

 _Weiss: that never gets old_

 _Blake; :)_

"What is it?" asked Dragon, moving her arm away .

Neo glared, bags already forming under her eyes. _Someone_ didn't like getting disturbed.

"...Moon wants old lottery numbers. We need to beat Team JNPR."

"Guys...you have the day off!" Dragon declared.

All of Team NVIM let out a sigh of relief and secretly hoped for more Team JNPR challenges.

* * *

Hohenheim sneezed. He frowned. "Unusual. There should be no reason to sneeze at a volcano site." He layed back down in the obsidian.

"Aaaaaah! I better get a really, super cool upgrade after this!" Jaune screamed as he dumped a bucket full of lava into a giant glass container. It filled the already three-quarters filled container to the top. Pyrrha reached down and pressed a button. The container hovered into the air. She carted it off to the airship. A cylinder appeared next to Jaune.

He sagged. "If you have hovering containers, why don't you have self-filling buckets?! Actually, if you have hovering containers, why can't you just let them self-fly themselves back?!

"Oh, I do, and I can," said Hohenheim. He pulled out a wire from his beloved black box.

Jaune's brain faultered for a split-second, then: "WHAT?!-what's the point?!"

"Well...it makes you stronger, it teaches teamwork, it's hilarious to watch…" listed off Hohenheim.

"You're a masochist!"

"Not," corrected Hohenheim. "Now keep working. The sooner you get it done the more free time you have! Why don't you follow Ren and Nora's example?"

At that moment, Ren kicked a rock off the side of the volcano, a rebellious expression on his face. Nora pointed and laughed before smashing her hammer into a giant rock. It split into tiny pieces, revealing red gems. Ren started gathering them with his extended aura. Nora held out a bag, that Jaune was _sure_ was probably also magnetic or something.

"I don't because...I'm not them." Jaune looked Hohenheim in the eyes with valor. "So I'll do it my way! Aaaaaaah!"

Jaune lifted his bucket and ran to the lava stream with newfound determination. He scooped up the lava in one fell swoop and ran back to the container. He dumped the bucket's contents in and wiped his sweaty forehead.

"Well? Did I pass!?"

Hohenheim sweatdropped, a grimace on his face. "S-sure…" _Whatever makes you more efficient!_

Meanwhile, Pyrrha, who had been walking back, fell in love all over again.

* * *

Cinder finally gathered up the will to eat with *ugh* the other _teachers_ in the _teacher's lounge._

It was just an act!

"Hohohoho! Look who finally came out of her hole!" A portly man in a red coat exclaimed.

Cinder squeezed her soda bottle. Great, already a person she hated. And so what if she hated every other person in existence? That wasn't the point.

"Joinus!Joinus!" This weird man with way too spiky green hair and probably way too many caffeine in his systems zoomed next to her.

Cinder quickly slapped away his rising arm and glared.

"Isee!Isee! !You'relikeGlynda!" He pointed his mug at a blonde woman that was eating.

...poor children that had to listen to this rambling lunatic.

The blonde woman looked up and promptly glared daggers at Cinder.

Cinder checked the blonde woman into her hundreds page book of 'Things Cinder Hates.'

On the bright side, it seemed the feeling was mutual.

The portly man with the horrid mustache boomed with laughter. "Glynda thinks you may be a spy or a saboteur, can you believe it?"

Well _technically_ she was both a spy _and_ a saboteur…

"U-uh, yes-I mean, no, ha...ha...definitely no."

Dammit, it was so hard not to laugh evilly!

Glynda glared.

Cinder decided to sit by herself. Or as close to herself as she could anyways. This Ms. Peach was really creepy...she kept on experimenting with her food, namely peaches.

Go figure.

* * *

Moon's scroll rang. She stabbed a Beowulf distractedly. The CEO of the SDC pulled her scroll from a pocket.

Crescent Rose, in war scythe mode, whizzed past, what looked to be a shish kabob of Grimm skewered on it. It impaled itself into a tree and the Grimm dissipated into smoke.

Red appeared next to Moon. "Message?"

Moon stared. "...I'm never getting used to your enhanced hearing."

"Well, I think it was mostly thanks to losing an eye, y'know lose one sense gain another, but I bet Belladonna plays just as big a part. I swear, you have to listen real hard to figure ou-"

"Shhhhh." Moon put a finger to Red's lips. "You can keep that to yourself. We have children with us."

"We're _you!"_ Weiss exclaimed as she made a glyph. Ruby jumped off it and impaled a mini-Nevermore.

"Yeah!"

"The message?" Red raised an eyebrow.

'On it, on it." Moon swiped to the default messages app.

 _Blake: Want to see if authentic. Tmrw at 3:00 is announcement of Pixy Lottery Winner. The code was/is 5775211037._

 _Weiss: Received will check out._

Red bumped shoulders with Moon. "Guess we know what we're doing tomorrow."

"We have to wait till three…" Moon pointed out. "I suppose we could actually do the goal of our field trip in a field trip then."

"THERE WAS A GOAL?!" Weiss screamed.

Blake beheaded a Beowulf charging Weiss's way and Yang quickly followed up with a cannonball into enemy lines, slamming her fist into the ground. The Creatures of Grimm were forced into the air. They became ashes on impact to the ground again.

"If you remember," said Moon calmly. "We _did_ sign up for Village Protection."

"How do we protect a village that's not being attacked?" asked Ruby. She sliced in half a boarbatusk

"Well…" Red shrugged. "Stuff like this in peacetime usually means it's just celebritary. Y'know, huntsmen dress nice, walk down the streets, go shopping…"

"Sounds boring," said Ruby.

"It is." Red grinned. "Until you _make_ it interesting."

* * *

 **Field Trip Day: 6**

* * *

Hohenheim yawned. He noted that it looked like he had fallen asleep on the side of the volcano. He stretched and looked down at his laps. His black box was still there *phew*...if he had to rebuild it again, there'd be hell to pay.

Afterall, Hohenheim was almost finished...just a few more little touches to go. He pocketed the box.

Though...why was the ground shaking?

And was that rumbling?

"...shit," he cursed. Hohenheim sprang up. Jaune was passed out next to a container, an arm wrapped around a content looking Pyrrha. The lucky bastard probably didn't even know it. Hohenheim couldn't find Ren and Nora so he sincerely hoped they were on the airship...if they weren't, he was going to have to walk into an exploding volcano. Oumdamn, he hated doing that!

The ground shook.

Hohenheim pulled out a necklace with an arc on it from under his shirt. He activated it. A white costume that vaguely represented a jaguar encased his body. Its golden lines glowed before dimming into the suit.

Hey, he couldn't help thinking the Black Panther costume was wicked!

Hohenheim slammed one foot into the ground-and pushed. He flew across the volcano, skidding to a stop next to Jaune and Pyrrha. Flickers of ember started sputtering out of the volcano.

Well dammit, he was going to either have to give up Jaune and Pyrrha or some supplies. If this was _his_ Team JNPR his answer would be obvious.

Give up his team and let them fend for themselves because Hohenheim knew they could handle it.

Really, it was so sad that this Team JNPR couldn't do that. A real waste of time.

Hohenheim lifted Pyrrha and Jaune unto his shoulder, effectively waking them up and freaking them out.

"Wh-what the-?! What are you doing?!" Jaune struggled.

Pyrrha stared.

"Would you rather...become the victim of a volcano eruption or get out of here alive?"

Jaune blinked. "Volcano eruption? Volcano eru-!"

"We need to move! Where are Ren and Nora?" Pyrrha beat Jaune to the point.

Hohenheim did not deem to answer her question. "Hold on."

Then he was streaking to the airship in a white blur. He ran straight in the opening, slamming into the steal wall. He unceremoniously dropped Jaune and Pyrrha.

"What's happening?" Ren jumped to his feet, Stormflower appearing out of his sleeves. Nora rubbed her eyes.

"Nothing you can fix by shooting," said Hohenheim. He rushed to the cockpit. "I _do_ like solving things by shooting too though…"

Nora raised a hand. "What's up?" She giggled. "The sky!"

Pyrrha frowned.

Ren facepalmed, Stormflower still in his hand. "She's always like this in early mornings." He winced as a bruise formed thanks to his own stupidity.

"Volcano's erupting!" Jaune informed. He rushed to the doors. "Close them, close them!"

Pyrrha staggered to her feet and quickly followed.

"Did someone say...eruption?!" asked Nora. She cackled.

The airship jolted. Jaune nearly fell off. The only thing that saved him was Pyrrha magnetizing his chest armor. She pulled him into an embrace. Jaune blushed and became a stuttering mess. "T-thanks…"

The airship jolted again and everyone stumbled. Then the airship thrusted into acceleration, sending Team JNPR flying to the back of the ship.

Jaune slammed his back into the wall. Pyrrha landed on top of him. They crashed to the ground.

"Wheeeee!" Nora, still half asleep, grabbed Ren (who had been dutifully grabbing onto the bathroom door frame) and brought him crashing into the wall with her.

Ren slid to the floor, holding Nora in his lap.

He sighed. Really, he should've expected something like this. Why didn't he expect something like this?

 _BWOOOOOOOM!_

* * *

"Today-" Dragon started.

"NO!"

' _No.'_

"...no."

"No?"

"I wasn't even done yet!" Dragon looked back at Belladonna like, ' _can you believe kids these days?'._ Belladonna rolled her eyes.

Dragon coughed. " _As I was saying…_ today, we're hunting!"

Four collective blinks.

Vernal frowned. "That's...it?"

"What do you think it was going to be?"

' _Something that involved fire,'_ Neo deadpanned.

Illia nodded in stark agreement.

"Something that would get us killed in a really weird way," said Marron.

The rest of his team stared at him.

Marron fought his bandit instincts to bow down _fast._ "I mean...that's usually what happens."

Vernal patted him on the back. He stumbled forward. "Hey! What's-his-name actually has a brain!"

 _What did you think I had?!_ Marron screamed internally.

"Don't worry," Dragon reassured. "This is perfectly safe as long as you pay attention."

She gave a winning smile. Her teeth gleamed in the rising sun. "And it's not just Grimm too! We need animals for the Feast, of course!"

Illia blinked. "...feast?" Her eyes widened.

"I'm vegetarian!" the chameleon faunus added quickly.

"We know," said Belladonna dully.

"You do?-oh...right. Time-travel…"

Dragon snickered, trying-and failing-to cover it up with a cough. "Vegetarian chameleon. Never gets-"

She was elbowed in the guts by Belladonna.

* * *

Ruby bounced up and down, trying to see what was going on up on stage. People's bodies blocked her view...being short sucked.

"Why were we, like, the last ones here?" she whined.

Weiss bonked Ruby on the head. " _Because,_ our chaperones got distracted." She glared at the backs on Red and Moon.

"No, I swear, this game-"

"Which costed 120 lien-"

"Will make us _rich-_ or uh... _richer."_

Moon gave Red a deadpan stare. "Then explain to me the other _eighty-three_ items you pick up." She threw a thumb behind her at the limousine parked at the curve. The bold butler inside had a face smoothed against the window thanks to all the items stuffed in the car.

Red grinned. "Well-"

"You will not manage to annoy me by listing off every single item," said Moon coolly. "We've known each other for _ten years_ and we spent most of the time together."

"I tried," Red lamented.

Weiss shivered. Ten years with _Ruby._ Good lord, no wonder why Moon wasn't sane.

"Best friends forever!" Ruby went to jump on Weiss.

Weiss stepped to the side, letting her fall to the ground. "No."

"Awww."

Blake tilted her head as if to say ' _why not humor her?'._

Because if she did, Ruby would do it _constantly!_ Weiss hoped her facial expression back at Blake conveyed her meaning.

Blake shrugged.

Okay then…

"Sorry, Ruby," said Yang. She grinned. " _This_ is how you do it."

The brawler promptly came up from behind Weiss and hugged her. "See?"

Weiss turned deep red and froze up.

Ruby leaped off the floor. "What?! That isn't fair! Weiss, you hang out with me more!"

Blake facepalmed for some reason.

Moon sent Red a look.

"What? I was socially incompetent!" she hissed back. "You weren't much better!"

Low blow. "Yes, but I am now!"

"...you did not just imply that."

"I did and I will continue to as long as you visit your mother's grave for company."

"I don't-"

"It certainly puts a clank on any social relations with normal people."

"As if _you_ have social relations with normal people!"

"...touché."

Red held out a fist. Moon obliged with a fistbump. This was how they knew they hadn't gone too far and were a'okay with the amazing art of throwing insults.

Blake was the only one to see the fistbump, and thanks to her ears, hear the dimension travelers. She gave a little smile, then returned her attention to the blushing Weiss, oblivious Yang, and way too energetic Ruby.

"*Ahem* Ladies and gentlemen, attention please!" the theatrical voice of an announcer came from the stage.

Ruby returned back to trying to see what was going on.

Red sighed out of pity and empathy. After all, she was there once upon a time. Now Moon was the shortest one by quite a few inches! Hahahahahha!

She tapped on Ruby's shoulder. "Use Crescent Rose."

Weiss couldn't even come up with a complaint on how giant scythes were probably not allowed in crowded public areas with how jittery she felt. Oum, Yang was _warm._

Ruby unfolded Crescent Rose and slammed it into the ground. She stepped on.

A few civilians began turning but were quickly met with the utterly petrifying glare of an eyepatched lady. Red personally blamed it on only having one eye, apparently that was scary to the average person (normal people are so weird).

"I can see!" cheered Ruby. "There's a stage and a broad and a man in front of a microphone and a woman next to him and a-"

"We get it," Red decided to say before things started going to lalaland. Yes, she knew herself too well.

"Well let's get this party on the road!" said the announcer. "There will be 13 winners today and always. Seven for third place, five for second, and one for first!"

On cue, cheering erupted from the crowd.

Moon huffed. "So obvious that they planted workers into the audience..."

"And remember! If no one guessed the numbers, no one wins!"

More cheering.

" _Very_ obvious," decided Moon.

"Without further ado, let us see if we have a winner for first place! The numbers are...5775211037.

Ding!* Ding!* Ding!*

"And we have a winner! One Red Rose! Please come up and finalize your one million lien award!"

Red disappeared in a flurry of rose petals and appeared on stage. She signed her signature, grabbed the suitcase on a table-"thanks!, and returned back to Moon and Team RWBY.

"Well that's one way to do it..." Yang let go of Weiss, which she admit was a bummer. The Ice Queen might have a killer attitude but she was damn nice to hold! A little cold though...

Weiss crossed her arms. She looked at the suitcase in Red's hand. "I swear. My morals are just getting lower by the day..." She shivered from the sudden cold, even though it was a good 70 degrees Fahrenheit.

"Hey!" yelled the announcer. "Excuse me, Ms. Rose, but we would like to ask you some questions, so-"

"I know exactly what we're doing," Red said to Moon and RWBY. "Feast time!"

Weiss frowned. "Feast for..."

"A successful mission," Red explained. "Sort of a tradition for us."

"Ms. Rose?!" shouted the announcer.

"Shit-"

"Language!" Yang and Weiss exclaimed at the same time.

"Welp, let's get going!" Red became a swirling mess of rose petals. She zoomed down the sidewalk in a blur, leaving dust behind.

Blake sneezed and then hacked. She coughed out a fur ball.

Yang tackled her. "That. Is. ADORABLE!"

"...shut up."

Wait-at least tackle h-what was she thinking? Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Interesting."

Blake sent her a disapproving look.

Moon began walking down the path now littered with red roses. She glanced back. "Do keep up."

Ruby swung Crescent Rose forward, pointing the blade in the direction of Red's travels. "Go, Team RWBY!"

And so they did...by strolling down the street.

* * *

"Bumblebee!"

"...you know we don't need attack names anymore." Belladonna leaped onto a tree, balancing with no effort. On the way, she struck with an extended Gambol Shroud, the sword striking Grimm in all directions. They evaporated into smoke.

Dragon punched straight through a thick tree, slamming her first into a giant boarbatusk. She pulled her hand out. The Grimm turned to smoke and the tree fell on top of it...and also a few pigs.

' _Oink-arghhh!'_

Dragon frowned. "Now I almost feel bad. Poor piggies. What the heck are they doing here anyways?"

"Don't ask questions," said Belladonna shortly.

Gambol Shroud flew at Dragon. She grabbed it and charged forward. Belladonna tightened her grip on Gambol Shroud, then she leaped and spun, swinging her weapon.

Dragon blasted into the air, using both her Maiden powers and Gambol Shroud's momentum. She smashed into a horde of Nevermore and promptly exploded. The Nevermores didn't even get a chance to become smoke.

Belladonna landed smoothly with one hand on the ground. Dragon appeared out of the sky and made a giant crater on the forest floor, still very much smoldering.

Belladonna scrunched up her face. "Really, do take a bath. You smell on fire." Well, she _had_ been on fire.

"And where exactly do I take a bath on an island in the middle of nowhere?" Dragon put a hand on her hip.

"We _all_ need baths," corrected Belladonna.

"So…" Dragon looked around at their space filled with dead animals. "Better find NVIM...been doing this _all_ day now."

"Wait-" Belladonna frowned. "Can any of us cook?"

"..."

Crickets chirped as the sun went down.

* * *

Cinder was getting _good_ at this. She grinned as she sent her report to Salem by creepy Grimm Seer just outside Emerald Forest.

 _Dear Lord Salem,_

 _Ozpin is an idiot. I do not know what is so special about him. There is only one competent staff in the whole academy and she is a complete bitch. Everything is going fine (though the students all have brains the size of an eraser) and soon the staff should let me into the Circle._

 _Mwahahahaha!_

 _Love, Cinder_

* * *

 **Field Trip Day: END**

* * *

Cinder woke up and look out the window. Crows flew into the rising sun, leading to a beautiful scene.

She felt an ominous feeling consume her.

Crap, today was going to be a good day.

* * *

Hohenheim threw a slung a over his chair. "Oum damn...I feel _awful_."

He looked back. "How's everyone doing?"

" _Not good."_ Jaune rushed to the bathroom for the third time in the morning.

Ren bit into a chicken wing. "Mmhm."

"Ren says he wants to get back to Beacon soon!" chirped Nora. She dumped a whole bucket of spicy chicken into her mouth. "*Crunch**Munch* Oh and that he hope-mffff the next field trip is wayyyy bette-*Crunch*r."

"Nnnm."

"(*Insert disgusting crunching noises*) And he says those weren't his exact words!" she added.

Pyrrha looked a little purple. "Hohenheim...may you please drive?"

"Huh? Oh, I installed an AI driver into the airship. It can't crash."

A frown formed on Pyrrha's mouth. "Just now?"

"What?" Hohenheim furrowed his brows. "No, I always had it."

"DAMMIT HOHENHEIM!" Jaune screamed from the bathroom.

* * *

"Ugh…" Red laid spread out on the couch. "Do we really need to move soon?" She burped.

Moon gave her an unimpressed look from the kitchen. "It's your fault for buying so much food."

"So what if I ordered Evergreen's whole menu?! I miss them, okay? They closed down in the future!" Red hiccuped. "...it was a sad day for mankind."

"Truly it must be considering you've literally seen the end of mankind," deadpanned Moon.

"Details~"

"Though I believe you did scar Ruby for life with how drunk you were...and Yang."

"And now I have to pay for it!" Red lamented gravely. "Oum damn hangovers...hey, look on the bright side, at least they didn't see _you_ drunk. _I_ was scarred for life."

"...quiet." Moon's voice turned stone cold. "I'll wake Team RWBY." She checked her scroll. "It's already twelve and this is all your fault."

"I can't even argue…" Red draped an arm over her face.

Moon walked up the stairs. "Hm...and we forgot to report to Belladonna…"

* * *

' _Fuck you,'_ Neo stated coldly to Dragon. They were waiting on the shore for a rescue airship.

Dragon beamed. "Why thank you!"

Neo let out a long suffering sigh. ' _Somehow this was the worst week I ever had.'_

"You know that's not true in your heart!"

Vernal twitched. "...I want a _bed._ Do you know how _weird_ that is?"

Illia frowned. "Isn't that normal for humans?"

Marron tried to make himself comfortably on the sand-like Belladonna, who had grabbed a giant leaf from a palm tree and was laying on it-he failed miserably seeing as he got sand in his pants. "Bandits swear by the floor."

"...humans are so weird."

' _Fuck you,'_ Neo repeated to Dragon. ' _I want to convert to a damn vegetarian now!'_

"There's nothing wrong with being a vegetarian…" Illia muttered.

' _How the hell do you go through life with not knowing to cook anyways? Can your teammates cook?'_

"No." Belladonna shivered. "We're the best cooks on our team..." Don't you _dare_ let Red or Moon cook.

Neo looked out at the ocean. ' _Talk about dysfunctional.'_

"You're one to talk," Dragon pointed out.

"Huh." Belladonna checked her scroll. "It looks like we're going to be easy millionaires."

"It worked?"

"Yeah."

Pilot Girl sitting to the side lamented her life. On the bright side she got a blanket...in the form of Dragon's paper thin cape.

* * *

"Slap me," Yang said to Blake.

"You sure?" Blake frowned. She was swearing off hurting decent humans at the moment.

"You have my consent."

Blake smacked Yang on the side of her face.

"Ahhh that feels good…" Yang shook her head. "Now I just need to forget yesterday night…"

"Ughhhhh." Ruby stumbled around. "I ate too much…" She fell to the airship's floor.

"Hmph. This is why you _measure_ your food consumption." Weiss sniffed. "Like me," she says while leaning on the wall for support.

Red was still dealing with her hangover. Foam began forming in her mouth. In fact, Moon had to unceremoniously drag her onto the airship. Moon herself sat in the cockpit, next to the pilot. She tapped on her scroll relentlessly. White Knight had sent her the reports for the week and that meant _signatures._ Ugh. One day she had to make a darn signature stamp or something of the sort.

She got a ping.

 _Blake: This is Dragon. We're gonna be rich(errrrrrr)! Can't have too much money afterall. Luv u, Ice Queen._

 _Weiss: It's Moon... 3_

Moon leaned back and smiled. Yes, life was good and she wouldn't trade anything for it. Even the chance to change the past.

* * *

An airship slowly descended onto the beach grounds. It was very unique. Streamlined to a point, with four long blue banners.

Dragon whistled. "What a coincidence!"

Vernal frowned. "Have we seen it before?"

Neo shrugged.

Then the ramp dropped down to reveal Winter Schnee.

Vernal's eyes shot out of their sockets. She shook Neo. "Your girlfriend has a personal _airship?!_

WInter's eyes scanned over Team NVIM (quickly going past Neo), Dragon, Belladonna, and Pilot Girl. She facepalmed. "...you've got to be kidding me."

"Yo. Long time no see (not really), soon-to-be technically but not technically sister-in-law," greeted Dragon.

"What an overly long title…" mused Belladonna.

Winter twitched. "Just get in my airship."

"Yes, yes." Dragon signaled her consent with a hand and then let it drop down. She trudged to the airship.

Belladonna stretched and followed. Pilot Girl wobbled after the cat-faunus. Team NVIM came in last. Vernal glared at Winter. Illia tried her best to ignore the Schnee. Marron glanced at Winter nervously. And Neo…

Neo winked.

Winter blushed.

* * *

Taiyang frowned. Huh, his door wasn't locked...he was _sure_ he locked it.

He was also _pretty certain_ his beloved garden wasn't supposed to be completely and utterly destroyed and the trees around his house were supposed to be _standing..._ like how trees were _supposed_ to.

He crashed open the door.

Bags and trays of unfinished, half finished, and finished foods greeted him. Especially a sink filled with a _sky high_ amount of trays.

So he did something he hasn't done in a long time and wouldn't have _ever_ done around his daughters….curse.

"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK?!"

 **A/N : if you haven't guessed...this should've been AT LEAST seperated into two parts. As for why I didn't update last week...Chinese New Years and life, nuff said. Wanted to get this out yesterday but shiiiiiiid I didn't realize how damn long it was going to be! Really excited for next Chp, mwhahaha...let's just say I have a semi-interactive announcement...**

 **Oh and also...I'm doing a double OC-Insert with Sperare Fidem!**

 **Story:**

 **Falling Through the Rabbit Hole**

 **Fate is a fickle mistress. He just wanted to die. Instead, he ended up in a fictional universe that he really doesn't want to be a part of. She didn't want to die. Despite that, she finds herself in world of crime and hate. This is the tale of two souls falling down a pit known as Remnant.**

 **and as always, bro is beta.**

* * *

 **Mini-Omake: The REAL Monster**

 **Written By: Life's Echo**

 ***A knock is heard on Salem's Council's door*  
Salem: Who is it?  
?: Oh you know...  
*Rapid gunfire is heard*  
Alucard: A real ******* monster.**

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **JackTheSpades: Got it! And what I meant was that Ozpin presumably amade the silver eye warriors AND the maidens...and presumably the silver eye warriors are super effective against the maidens, so...WHY?! Hope that clears things up :).**

 **Dev the snake faunus: ...would rather not cram your Omake in an already ridiculously long Chp, definitely promise for next chapter though!**

 **Life's Echo: LOL! Had to include that in here as a mini-Omake...**

 **merendinoemilliano: Sure, she might be smart enough...but is Raven willing to? And will do! Next Chp will be the Omake cause this one is already so long. Oh and in other news, Kerry officially stated in the recent Reddit AMV that Qrow is NOT Ruby's dad...sorry.**

 **Xyander64: oh my gosh, I never thought of that! It's so true, lol!**

 **meeyaaargh3412: nope, someone once said 'humor always has a victim' afterall!**

 **TheSetupMage: :)**

 **Treefrogger: I have since changed it to whenever I want as in the end, fanfic is my recreation and I love doing it. I was busy and that's that. The schedule was a recommendation to myself...though HOPEFULLY I can start following it again, lol.**

* * *

 **If ya want me for anything, I'm ArosCao_ARC on twitter!**

 **Rev, Fav, and Follow if ya think this story is worth it!**


	24. The Bad Guys are dealt with (kind of)

**Chp XXIII: Most of the Bad Guys are dealt with...kinda**

 **Disclaimer: Me no own RWBY (duoy)**

 **"FRAG THE SCHEDULE! FRAG IT! (*sobs in a corner*)" ~ ARC**

 **ANNOUNCEMENT IN A/N! Hint: Reader OCs!**

* * *

"Hm…" Ozpin sipped from Juniper Mug as he looked out the window. He was standing on his office, of course. Only the best room in the whole entire school. "Today, the Teams are returning."

Glynda walked up to him with a glare. "Yes, and most of our staff as well. Tell me again why we make _our staff_ chaperone the trips and not other huntsmen?"

Ozpin glanced at her and gave an absolutely fabulous smile. "Because it's cheaper, why else?"

Glynda facepalmed.

* * *

Cinder woke up by falling out of her bed. She then proceeded to set it on fire by accident.

"Dammit!" she cursed. "I _hate_ asking for replacements!"

For the record, this would be her third replacement of the week.

...which made Cinder realized with dawning horror...

 _She had been here for a_ whole _week._

 _And she already wanted to die._

Cinder pulled herself up. She rolled her shoulders and did her daily reminder of the _greater cause_ she was torturing herself for.

Oum, Salem better hurry up. She's taken thousands of years by this point!

Shhh….Cinder didn't just have that thought.

...she didn't want to become Salem's next pet project. *shiver*

* * *

"Y'know," said Dragon while looking out the window of Winter's airship. "I kinda miss some of our future people."

Belladonna gave her an unimpressed glance. "Future people?"

"Shaddup, what else am I supposed to call them? Future peeps? Old buddies?"

"...just stick with future people," decided Belladonna. Her cat ears twitched. "Why?"

Dragon raised a finger. Then she frowned. She set her finger back down and tilted her head. "Uh…"

"Exactly," said Belladonna pointedly. She smirked. "If you had to choose, who would you bring back?"

"Well, Moon obvio-"

"Barring anyone already in the past."

"Oum uh…" Dragon held up a hand and began putting down fingers. "Renora is _so_ a no...I don't wanna deal with Neo...if I bring back anyone from CFVY, all of them are coming...Penny is...well, _Penny..._ Illia would have way too much fun...Oscar is a pain in the ass...I don't think I can live with Vernal...Dad would be _way_ overprotective…" Dragon looked up. "I can't believe I'm saying this but...I think I would choose _Raven."_

Dragon was suddenly shaking Belladonna by the shoulders. "Belladonna! I just realized I would choose _my ass of a mom!_ This doesn't paint a very bright picture of my social life!"

Belladonna started feeling a little queasy from all the shaking. "Well...to be fair...Raven has been _trying."_ Even if Raven's way of trying was glaring at people, trying to hold a conversation and somehow always making it awkward, giving people tea that borders on poisonous, and making Oum-awful puns (and Belladonna doesn't care who contests her, _puns SHOULD NOT be genetic,_ hell, that doesn't even make any sense!).

"And stop _shaking me!"_ Belladonna added.

"Sure, sure." Dragon let go of Belladonna. "I still can't believe it," she muttered. "Raven... _Raven."_

"Well, why her instead of, I don't know, a shopkeeper?"

Dragon halted. "Wait-wait. _Shopkeep_ was an option?!"

"I never said it had to be one of our 'future people'," Belladonna pointed out.

"I hate you."

Belladonna snorted. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Dragon ran a hand through her still-precious hair. She looked around the airship. Neo was still taking a ridiculously long bath in the bathroom, Vernal and Marron were bandits, long baths didn't exist in their vocabulary...or baths in general, so they were fine with just taking a break on the airship's couches. Illia had taken to walking in circles for whatever reason (she was actually feeling a little weirded out about being on Winter's airship when she _kind of_ tried to assassinate the Schnee in the past... _awkward)._ Winter herself was driving the airship. Maybe Neo taking a bath was for the better as she seriously liked to distract Winter for the lols.

Dragon raised an eyebrow at Belladonna in silent questioning.

"Only an hour or so," said Belladonna distractedly, already going back on her scroll. "Be patient."

"Pfffft. I'm never patient."

* * *

Red grinned. "See? I added this thingy-magig so Crescent Rose can make explosions…"

Ruby 'oohed' and 'awed' from the side. Blake eyed the dangerous weapon with mild interest. She _did_ want to upgrade Gambol Shroud sometime...maybe she should ask Belladonna.

Weiss rolled her eyes. 'I would think-and hope- Ruby would grow up at least a little in the future," she muttered under her breath.

"I do!" Red called. "Crescent Rose just grew with me!"

Weiss twitched.

"I swear to Oum…" muttered Moon. Then she promptly threw her scroll across the room. Red caught it without even stopping her explanation of her Crescent Rose.

"Stupid taxes!" Moon exclaimed with a ticked off expression. "Ugh."

"Wow, talk about short fuse," noted Yang.

"She probably got it from you," muttered Weiss.

"Hm?" Yang hummed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Weiss made some strangled noises in her throat.

"Honestly…" Moon pinched her nose. "I was so excited to finally become an adult and separate from father's rule…"

"Pfft," Red sent Moon's scroll flying back Moon's way. "Isn't everyone? Besides the father thing."

"Adulthood is awful," Moon muttered.

"You make your summons do most of the work anyways!" Red exclaimed. "Cake butlers don't exist for most of us, so stop being a lazy ass!"

"I'll pass."

"Did your older self just admit to being a lazy ass?" wondered Yang.

Weiss twitched.

* * *

Hohenheim tossed Jaune his newly upgraded Crocea fumbled to catch it, he eventually managed to without decapitating himself.

"So...what'd you upgrade?" asked Jaune. He unsheathed Crocea Mors and blinked. "Uh…"

"I added training wheels."

"Whaaaaaaat?! That's not what I was thinking!"

"I wouldn't know what you're thinking."

"You're me! Hohenheim-"

"Oh, and I also added a dust blade function."

"...huh? Tell me that first, dammit!"

* * *

Glynda Goodwitch was not a happy person. Well, she suppose she was never a happy person so perhaps it would be more apt to say she _was an even less_ happy person for the day.

Reports on three specific teams had been filtering in all day.

A team that blatantly disregarded procedures and apparently vandalized some important statues.

A team that _also_ blatantly disregarded procedures and destroyed what seemed like half a town...people also say they caused a volcanic eruption.

And finally, a team that _didn't even get to their mission_ and _stayed on a random island in the middle of nowhere for the duration of the field trip._

Yes, by this point, Glynda wanted to pull out her hair.

Seriously, she was contemplating asking for the firing and banning of all time travelers as they were clearly all _completely incompetent._ Which made absolutely _no sense_ seeing as they apparently defeated _Salem._

So, it only makes sense that Glynda stomped all the way to the docks.

The first one of the 'holy trinity' to arrive was Team RWBY: DOCK 7.

"What the hell...what the hell?!" Red walked out of the ship, a hand on her head. "I can't believe we forgot _Zwei! Zwei!"_

"This is all your fault." Moon flipped her hair. "I was enjoying Zwei too."

"Me!? Blame the kids!"

"That would _still_ make it your fault."

Ruby hung her head. "...sorry. I didn't notice."

"How do you forget-!" Weiss stopped short. "Professor Goodwitch! It's an honor to be-...are you feeling well?"

She asked for she had noticed the giant red tick mark pulsing on the Professor's head.

Glynda held out her scroll and jabbed a finger at it. "No staff or student of Beacon Academy should be _vandalizing statues!"_

"T-that was all them!" Weiss waved her hands exaggeratedly at Moon and Red.

Moon huffed. "For your information, all statues vandalized were of Ozpin's former incarnations."

Glynda blinked. She pushed up her glasses. "Oh. You should've invited me."

"We'll give you a call next time," promised Red.

Weiss began to foam at the mouth. Yang eyed her to make sure she didn't choke herself.

Blake's ears flattened at the sound of an incoming airship. She looked up. "...have we seen that airship before?"

Ruby followed her gaze. "Weiss, have we?"

"Grblghhhhh" Weiss tried to resort 'how would I know?' and failed miserably. Then she actually checked with her own eyes. She began choking. Yang rubbed Weiss's back to help her. "T-that's W-Winter's airship…" she managed before going back into a hacking fit.

Yang started with the Heimlich maneuver.

Ruby blinked. "Your sister? I thought she left."

"I thought she _wanted_ to leave," said Blake. She frowned. " _Really badly."_ That was the vibe Blake got anyways.

Then Winter's airship shakily landed a few yards behind Glynda, sending her cape flying into her face. The professor's mood instantly switched back to rage mode.

It amplified around 9000% percent when the ramp dropped down and a yawning (and very dirty) Dragon walked out. Followed by a completely nonplussed Belladonna, who was admittedly just as dirty. Illia basically ran off the ramp with how awkward the whole experience had been for her.

Glynda blew her cape off her face. She glared at Dragon and Belladonna. "How was your _field trip?"_

"Great!" Dragon exclaimed.

"NOT!" Vernal corrected, storming down the ramp.

"Can we just go back to our dorm now?" asked Marron meekly. He nearly tripped over himself walking out the airship thanks to some rocks stuck to his shoe. He kicked his leg...and his shoe promptly flew off...

"Dammit…" Marron muttered.

...and would've hit Glynda in the face if it weren't for her telekinesis. The Professor glowered.

"S-sorry!" Marron stammered. "...please don't kill me."

Vernal went back and hit him on the head. "You only say 'please don't kill me' to our fearless leader-"

She glanced at Dragon, who was somehow still yawning.

"-fearless _former_ leader," Vernal corrected with a whisper.

"Don't say that...do _you_ want to die?" Marron whispered back.

Meanwhile, Dragon started mysteriously coughing. It may or may not have something to do with the hand signs Belladonna was sending her way while her cat ears were angled towards two particular bandits.

"Would you two care to explain what in the _world_ happened on your trip?" Glynda near hissed, unceremoniously dropping Marron's shoe.

"Oh, our plane crashed," Dragon said nonchalantly.

Glynda started twitching. " _What?"_

"Don't worry, everyone is safe…" Dragon frowned. "I feel like I'm forgetting someone."

"The pilot," supplied Belladonna.

"Except the pilot," Dragon told Glynda.

" _Where's_ the pilot?" asked Glynda.

Her question was answered when the pilot suddenly crash landed in front of her.

' _Right there,'_ declared Neo proudly, standing at the top of the ramp.

"Stop pretending to be cool!" Vernal yelled at her.

' _Fuck you!'_

"I need a drink…" muttered Winter, finally appearing. "Huntsmen these days are much too high maintenance…"

Glynda frowned at the shivering pilot on the floor. "What happened to her?"

"Hypothermia," said Belladonna bluntly.

Glynda let out a long-suffering sigh. "Someone call the doctor."

A few seconds of chirping crickets passed.

" _Fine._ I'll do it." Glynda pulled out her scroll and began typing.

"So...we'll be leaving now," decided Red. She started walking towards Beacon.

Ruby blinked. "Uh...let's go, Team RWBY!"

Illia froze when she realized she was already at Beacon's doors...with no idea why she was there. She frowned, her skin color changing from embarrassment.

"You're fine, Illia!" called Dragon. Dragon and Belladonna began walking towards the door. The blonde grinned and leaned towards Belladonna. "Dammit, now I wanna introduce Illia to Illia...even if I have to live with her."

Belladonna raised an eyebrow. "Hm?"

"...actually, I don't want to live with Illia. I take that back." Dragon shivered. "I don't think I could manage living with her. I can't manage _her."_

"She _is_ still my best friend," drawled Belladonna.

"Don't tell her anything!"

"I think we're all hiding something from her at this point."

Moon suddenly slid next to Dragon. She quickly placed a kiss on the blonde's neck. "I require a ship name for Ruby and Illia."

Belladonna's ears flattened. "You've _got_ to be kidding me."

"It's fiiiiiine," said Moon. "We already know Blake's not ending up with Ruby anyways."

"But _Illia?"_

"They did dance at the Dance."

" _Illia."_

"Why are you so against this?"

" _Illia,"_ Belladonna repeated herself again. " _Illia."_

"Are you trying to ruin Ruby's innocence?" wondered Dragon.

"This Illia might not turn into our Illia," Moon pointed out.

"...do you really believe that?" Belladonna asked.

"No," Moon admitted. "But they're cute...and that's all that matters."

"Moon, I love you...but I really can't approve of this," said Dragon with a burning passion. "As Ruby's technically older sister, I have a duty-"

"Save your speech, dear." Moon grinned. "It's not my place anyways...I'm just moving the boat along."

"...right."

"Oh...Team JNPR's back," said Belladonna. Her ears swiveled. "Jaune just tripped."

"That's nice," said Moon.

"Where are you all going?!" demanded Glynda, finally off her scroll. "I'm not done with you!"

"Walk faster!" Dragon exclaimed.

"Still scary…" muttered Belladonna.

* * *

"This is so embarrassing…" muttered Hohenheim, a hand on his head.

"You're not even the one who tripped!" Jaune exclaimed, getting up.

"Well _technically…"_

"Shaddup!"

"We're back! We're back!" Nora danced around the group. "I'm Queen of the Castle~ I'm Queen of the Castle~"

"Nora."

"Yes, Ren?"

"That makes no sense in this context."

"That's the point, Renny! I'm Queen of the Castle~ I'm Queen of the Castle~"

Ren sighed.

Pyrrha sweatdropped. "Why don't we go back to Beacon now?"

"Someone has a good head on their shoulders…" Hohenheim frowned. "Or at least pretends to."

"Haha…?" Pyrrha tried.

* * *

Team RWBY plus Red walked down Beacon's corridor, to their location: the dorms.

Red rolled her neck. "Hm…"

"Hm?" Blake eyed her.

"Just thinking about Qrow."

Weiss frowned. "Crows?"

Ruby perked up. "Uncle Qrow?"

Red grinned. "Yup. I wanna beat him up."

Ruby blinked. "Huh?"

"He's a piece of shit."

"Language!" reprimanded Yang.

Red laughed. "That's cute."

"Whaaaat?! Don't change my words!" Yang exploded, a finger pointed at Red.

Red patted her head. "So innocent~"

"You're messing with her head," muttered Weiss.

"What? Weiss, it's good to be innocent. It's a compliment!"

" _Yang?_ Innocent?" asked Weiss incredulously. "No."

"Hm…" Red hummed. "Well, Dragon _did_ go emo for a while."

" _Dragon_? Emo?"

"With Hohenheim," Red nodded sagely. "They were emo buddies."

She frowned. "Which reminds me, we still need to deal with Cin-"

The period bell rang.

A door opened to reveal one Cinder Fall...right next to Red.

Red blinked. She looked Cinder up and down. "Huh."

She then proceeded to kick Cinder across the lecture hall and sent her crashing out the window.

"W-what?" Weiss gaped. She shut her mouth and glared at Red. "What was that for?! Poor woman!"

Her next words died in her throats at seeing an absolutely infuriated Red with a burning aura around her and silver eye glowing. Crescent Rose appeared in her hand and slowly extended.

"An eye for an eye," she muttered. Then she streaked across the room and was out the window.

Team RWBY looked at each other. They rushed to follow Red.

"..." One Cinder Fall had just literally landed at Hohenheim's feet.

Today was a lucky day.

Hohenheim grinned. "Payback time."

"That's what I was thinking," said Red, appearing next to him.

"What's going on?!" Ruby exclaimed.

"Guys," Red said. "Meet Cinder Fall."

"Cinder...Fall?" said Blake slowly. "Isn't she...She-Who-Is-An-Ass?"

"Bingo," Red nodded.

Cinder raised herself up. "DI-I mean…" She held up her hands. "There's clearly been a misunderstanding here, mw-* _ahem*-_ haha...I'm a professor at Beacon."

"Weird. I thought working for Salem automatically eliminated you as a job candidate," said Red drily.

"Finally…" muttered Cinder, _happy to heaven_ that there were _finally c_ ompetent people around, which meant her cover was _finally_ blown, which meant she could _finally_ kill someone! "DIE!"

Flames shot out of her hand.

Hohenheim's Crocea Mors slashed through the fire. "RWBY, JNPR...get out of here."

"...Cinder's here," said Belladonna. "Hohenheim and Red have made contact."

Dragon and Moon stopped in their tracks.

"...do we go?" asked Dragon slowly.

Dragon and Belladonna looked at Moon.

Moon sighed. "I hate taking command...Let's get moving."

Cinder backflipped onto Team JNPR's returnee dock. She snapped her fingers and fire burst out of the ground.

"You think I should use my eye?!" called Red. She pulled out an ice dust magazine, attached it to Crescent Rose, and fired. It made ice spirals out of Cinder's fire.

"Save it!" Hohenheim jumped onto the dock, slashing through Cinder's fireballs. "She's hardly worth it! She doesn't even have all of the maiden powers!"

Cinder jumped back and created a flame wall in an attempt to block Hohenheim from her. Her foot slid to the very edge of the hill that _for some reason_ Beacon was on. She looked up, making a fire sword just in time to block Hohenheim's strike. He stayed in the air for a few seconds, a sneer on his face, then slashed down. Cinder barely managed to sidestep the blow.

A literal crater formed on Hohenheim's impact, sending a field of force rippling through the air. Cinder flew back, jumping and barely managing to land on her feet.

Red appeared in a swirl of roses, sending Crescent Rose at Cinder. Cinder did a backbend, nearly cracking her back. Something _did_ crack when Red swung her ridiculously large scythe back, hitting Cinder in the stomach and sending her flying into Dock 5's airship. As a result, she made an incredible Cinder-shaped indent.

Hohenheim stepped next to Red. "...that was almost disappointing."

Red tilted her head. "To be fair, she isn't dead _yet."_

"Oh, I forgot to mention. Keep her alive...I really do need to get around to testing my black box."

Red hummed in acknowledgment.

Cinder peeled herself off the airship. Then she blew the vehicle up

...y'know, for added effect.

* * *

Blake watched the airship blew up and immediately closed her eyes. She felt the heat radiating from the explosion slowly wear off.

"Okay, I am _so_ glad we decided to hide behind these two random pillars that are somehow still standing," squeaked Jaune. "...oh."

As it turned out, the pillars had been completely wrecked and in their places were Team _SBD, pronounced 'Sinbad' if you tried really hard. Moon looked completely unfazed by the giant wing she was holding up with a gravity glyph, which she promptly released. The wing landed on a poor tree that automatically collapsed from the pressure. Dragon sent an infuriating grin back Belladonna's way while levitating a bunch of debris.

Belladonna glared. "For your information, just because your and Moon's abilities are so flashy _doesn't mean I didn't do anything."_

Dragon looked at the ground around Belladonna littered with sliced debris. "Awwwwww….I never doubted anything, Blakey."

Belladonna glowered.

Yang took the time to give Blake an 'I told you so' wink for the 'Blakey' nickname.

It was Blake's turn to glower.

"Red and Hohenheim clearly have the situation handled," decided Moon. "And really, I don't feel like trying to fight one severely underpowered enemy in a group without accidentally murdering them in a very inhumane way and then having to deal with the fallout of murdering them in a very inhumane way."

"Translation: Moon is too lazy to move her rich ass," said Belladonna drily.

"I guess I'll get the popcorn!" Dragon turned into an eagle and flew off. The debris she had been levitating fell to the floor.

"What is going-" Winter appeared out of her airship. She took one look at the scene, a completely wrecked field and dock and farther away, what seemed like a firestorm and turned around.

"I'm not dealing with this," she decided. "Neo! I'm leaving, get off the ship!"

' _Come on! Seriously?'_

"Yes!"

' _Got it, got it. Damn it, it's comfy in here!'_

"That's the _point."_

' _Well, see you next time, Schnee.'_

"What have I gotten myself into?" lamented Winter. Neo cheerily walked past her, brimming with absolutely fake innocence.

Watching, Weiss had a mental breakdown as her childhood hero got destroyed before her eyes.

"Right...relax, just calm down…" started Yang.

"Since when were you a therapist?" asked Blake with a cocked eyebrow.

"As long as it's working! Do _you_ want unstable Weiss?"

"...no."

* * *

Hohenheim extended a claw and slammed it into the ground. His jaguar suit that definitely wasn't a rip off of the Black Panther morphed around him, absorbing Cinder's explosion.

At the moment Red realized what was happening, she had flew off in a flurry of red petals to the nearest building.

"Seriously...Cinder's a real piece of work, alright." Red looked down from the building. She transformed Crescent Rose into its claymore form with a flip. "Then again...she's nowhere near as batshit insane as our Cinder, huh?"

"Maybe it's better to keep it that way."

Red walked to the edge. She let herself fall off the building and become a streak of red rose petals.

Cinder appeared out of the burning wreck of the airship. Her professor's uniform was now a charred mess. Luckily, Cinder was a narcissist of the truest kind and happened to wear her favorite flame-proof dress under her uniform.

"...dammit, I really want to try out my new tech," muttered Hohenheim, standing up. "Can we please just finish this?"

Red appeared next to him. "You're excited."

Hohenheim grinned. "Trust me. It's really _really_ cool."

"STOP IGNORING ME!" Cinder sent a burst of flame their way.

"Y'know," said Red. She spun Crescent Rose, completely eliminating CInder's flames. "You're actually taking seeing Cinder really well. What gives?"

"Oh...that new tech I'm talking about?"

"Yes, you've been hyping it up _this whole fight."_

"Well, I'm really _really_ excited about it."

"...I'm sure I just said that."

Another burst of flames came their way. This time, Hohenheim's not-lightsaber slashed through the fire.

Red tilted her head. "Lancaster?"

"Done."

"DIE!" Cinder began to charge at the huntsmen, two fire swords appearing in her hands.

Red easily blocked her with Crescent Rose. She jumped over Cinder, landing behind her, and Crescent Rose slid to Cinder's neck.

"Grrk!" Cinder stiffened. The last thing she wanted was her head cut off. Afterall, she was going to be the _most powerful_ person on Remnant and you can't exactly be the most powerful person on Remnant when you don't have a head!

Crescent Rose suddenly left Cinder's throat. The half-maiden took a precious second to blink in surprise. Cinder felt an abrupt push at her back, showing her forward. From the corner of her eyes, she saw a blur of red roses. _Wha-_

"...heh. _Pay attention."_ Hohenheim appeared in front of Cinder. One of his clawed hands outstretched and reaching for face. Cinder couldn't do anything, still in shock from Red's attack and subsequent retreat.

Just as the hand would have reached Cinder's face, streaks of gold appeared on the white suit, then a plasma field burst out of the suited hand.

The force ripped Cinder off the ground, knocking her across the dock. The radius around Hohenheim and Cinder's trail cracked and exploded.

Then Cinder streaked through the air and off Beacon's hill.

"...crap," muttered Hohenheim. He stood up, sending another plasma wave bursting into the area. "I need her alive!"

"Dragon!" Red shouted from her place behind an airship nearly a mile away.

 _Woosh!_ An eagle streaked across the Academy grounds and dived off the hill. A few seconds later, Dragon appeared with one hand holding a knocked out Cinder. She landed on the ground and popped a popcorn into her mouth.

"Oh good, she's not dead," said Hohenheim, walking to Dragon.

Dragon nearly choked on her one popcorn. " _Y-you?!_ Did you just say ' _oh good'?! Hohenheim!?"_

Hohenheim's mask unmaterialized, showing a mildly amused face. "Well...I'm going to give her a fate worse than death."

Dragon blinked. "Like hell?"

"What? No, that _would be_ death. That would be after-death!"

"Good point." Dragon said with a hum.

Red appeared in a swirl of roses. "So, your super hyped up tech, Hohenheim?"

Hohenheim rubbed his hands together, his suit beginning to completely unmaterialize. "Can we have Moon and Belladonna here too?"

"Here," said Belladonna, appearing next to Red.

Hohenheim jumped. "Wha-oh...right, ninja."

"I'm not a ninja," muttered Belladonna.

Red poked her in the cheek. She looked behind her. "Moon, the kids?"

Moon smirked. "I left them to distract Glynda."

* * *

Meanwhile…

"Let me _go,"_ demanded Glynda, waving her riding crop menacingly.

Ruby streaked around her. "Hahaha...see we kinda have to block you because Moon-"

Weiss muffled her with a hand. "She means...Moon is handling things! Yes!"

Glynda twitched. "How is she supposed to handle the _burning and destroyed_ Beacon field? And the _numerous_ damages to the towers? How did this even _happen?_ "

"...we don't know," admitted Ren.

Jaune stepped on his foot.

"...just give them five more minutes," decided Blake. "That's all they need." (Hopefully).

"Five minutes?" Glynda decided that fighting eight children trained to kill wouldn't be worth it. " _Five minutes."_

Suddenly, an airship burst into flames above them.

"...wasn't that Winter's airship?" wondered Ruby.

* * *

Winter ignored the blaring red alarms going off around her. She gritted her teeth.

Atlas was best school.

Yes.

She pressed a button. Sprinklers activated around the airship.

She _knew_ that was a good idea.

* * *

Hohenheim unpocketed his black box. He rotated it and dropped it onto the floor. It expanded into a dark pearl box. A hologram appeared.

"Ladies, meet the Ditrav."

"...what does it do again?" asked Dragon.

"Dimension travel."

"'Di'mension 'trav'el, _Ditrav,_ " deadpanned Moon. "How amazingly creative."

Hohenheim twitched. "...yeah, yeah."

"Well…" Red tried. "It does sound nice?"

"Can we please just get this over with?" asked Belladonna. "For example...how exactly does this make Cinder suffer?"

"I'm glad you ask." Hohenheim waved an exaggerated hand at his new baby. "See, the Ditrav is a co-"

"The _quick_ and _simplified_ explanation," corrected Belladonna.

"... _fine."_ Hohenheim sighed. "Basically, it lets us travel through dimensions-"

"We already know that," said Moon.

"Don't interrupt me, Ice Queen," Hohenheim said and continued: " _But_ more importantly, the Ditrav doesn't need specific dimensions. It can use _keywords."_

"...that doesn't sound very possible or realistic," Red pointed out.

"I bend logic," said Hohenheim coolly. He ran a hand through his hair as an added effect.

"Okay…let's just leave it at that," decided Red.

"Sounds cool," Dragon grinned. "What are the keywords for Cinder here?"

"I'll just show you." Hohenheim kneeled and pressed his hand to the Ditrav. "Activate: Keywords."

KEYWORDS: popped up on the hologram.

"Great, Ditrav, find the worst dimension possible."

SEARCHING…

FOUND: POVERTY / WAR / POLLUTION / ECONOMIC INSTABILITY / DISEASE / NO AURA / LIST MORE? /

"...I think we get the point," decided Red.

"Which dimension is this, Ditrav?" asked Hohenheim

DIMENSION: 7584832 - 2343235 -3233227

Dragon tilted her head. "That's a lot of numbers."

"For an infinite amount of universes," said Belladonna. "I almost expected it to be higher."

"Well," started Hohenheim proudly. "I made a system where-"

"That's nice," said Moon to shut him up.

"A universe with no aura?" asked Red. "Wouldn't Cinder just...I don't know, die?"

"It's technically possible for the human body to stand no aura," said Hohenheim. "But the effects are...unknown."

"Great, dump her in there and we don't ever have to see her face again," said Dragon cheerily. "In this or any other universe we happen to be in."

"Not only that, but we also get away scot-free as I don't recall any laws pertaining to inter-dimensional banishment," pointed out Moon. "Unless I missed something during my utterly hellish study of rules and regulations anyway."

"Ditrav," said Hohenheim. "Activate to Dimension...uh...whatever you said."

DIMENSION: 7584832 - 2343235 -3233227

"Yeah, right…that one."

UNDERSTOOD

The hologram above the Ditrav shimmered, then a swirling purple portal burst into existence.

Dragon whistled appreciatively. "Woah."

"Who wants to do the honors?" asked Hohenheim.

"Well, seeing as she gave you the most shit…" drawled Red.

"Why thank you," said Hohenheim.

"Here ya go." Dragon handed him Cinder.

"...six years of planning for the other one, fifteen minutes for this one."

Hohenheim tossed Cinder into the portal.

"Five minutes are up!" called a _very_ pissed off Glynda.

"Okay...let's not," decided Red.

"...by the way, we still have like, what, five fugitives on my airship?" drawled Moon. "And...it's kind of expensive to keep them there…"

"Done." Red transformed and stored Crescent Rose. "Moon?"

A giant white Nevermore appeared as an answer.

"Hop on up!" declared Red. "Dragon, you can fly."

"...I'm always flying."

"Most of us can't fly," pointed out Red.

"Fuck." Dragon turned into her eagle form.

Belladonna walked into the Nevermore and held a hand out to Red. Red grabbed on and situated herself onto the Nevermore. Finally, Hohenheim and Moon jumped on.

Then they flew off.

Glynda furiously waved her riding crop at them from below.

* * *

"...alright, so I'm guessing we can't expect you guys to line up in an orderly fashion?" asked Red, a hand on her hip.

"We've been starving!" shouted Torchwick from behind his bars. He held up his hands in an extravagant manner. "Dying! And you expect us to, what- _line up in an orderly manner?"_

In the cell next to him, Sienna Khan let loose a long sigh. Perhaps she should've just let human beings die of their own stupidity. It was clearly bound to happen sometime soon.

Moon huffed. "Honestly, do you expect me to be unaware of what my own prisoners _eat?"_

"Well-"

"No matter. Look on the bright side, Torchwick..." Moon grinned. "You're leaving today."

Torchwick blinked. "Today?"

"Like...right now," added Dragon. Behind her, Hohenheim jump-started the Ditrax. The dimensional portal zapped into appearance and started swirling.

"...is it just me who has a bad feeling about this?" asked Emerald. She twiddled her fingers nervously.

Mercury brooded in a corner...Adam brooded in another corner.

"No," Sienna deemed to respond. Admittedly, Emerald was okay…for a human.

"Welp," said Red cheerfully. "Who wants out first?"

Torchwick's hand shot into the air. "Me!"

"Great! Moon?"

Moon unlocked Torchwick's cell. The thief immediately ran for the exit to the right corridor.

"Toodles, lady and gentlemen!"

Belladonna, who had been leaning on the wall, stuck out a foot. Torchwick tripped.

"Ow…"

"Truly, an impeccable escape," deadpanned Sienna.

"Shut up!"

Belladonna grabbed Torchwick by the collar.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Let me go!"

Belladonna sighed. She walked over to the Ditrax, impressively ignoring the struggling Torchwick, and threw him in.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Then Torchwick was gone.

"What the hell was that?!" Mercury finally stood up. He stared at the Ditrax almost like he was accusing it.

Hohenheim grinned. "I wanna know. What _does_ it look like."

"...a crappy science project some guy with way too much free time made," said Mercury with a dull, unimpressed look.

"W-what?! Kids these days, so rude!" Hohenheim let out an indignant huff.

"...I'm not even going to argue with what was wrong with that sentence," decide Moon.

"Right! Who's next?" asked Red.

Belladonna squinted her eyes. "You're having way too much fun."

"Sorry kitty, I think I've found a new love in being sadistic."

"Haha…." Belladonna frowned. "That was a joke, right?"

Moon facepalmed.

"Yeah, it was," said Red. She turned to Adam and cracked her knuckles. "Change of plans. You're next."

"Hm?" Adam stood up. "Try me, _human."_

"Will do, asshole. Moon?"

Moon frowned. "Red, are you sure _you're_ the one to do this?"

"I've got this."

Moon opened the cell.

Adam stood in the center of the cell. He gave a small smirk.

"Well, you going to go in the portal peacefully?" asked Red. Her face said she didn't believe Adam would.

"Hmph. And where exactly does this thing lead?"

"Nowhere you need to know."

"Very well." Adam raised his hands in a sign of surrender. He slowly walked out the cell.

Belladonna pushed off the wall. " _Shoot_. Be car-"

Adam suddenly charged at Red. Red sidestepped, kicking at Adam's feet. Adam dodged and tried to grab onto Crescent Rose. Belladonna quickly grabbed onto Adam from behind.

"Urgh!" Adam struggled.

"Oumdammit…" muttered Red. She nodded at Belladonna.

Adam was thrown into the Ditrax portal.

"You okay?" asked Belladonna

"Fine." Red grinned. "All thanks to you."

" _Please."_ Belladonna looked back at the portal. She sighed. "Adam's gone."

"Right...next~"

Mercury, Emerald, and even Sienna looked at each other.

* * *

"Oof!" Cinder crash landed in something on soft...and plastic-like. She opened her eyes…

...to the sight of garbage bags surrounding her.

"WHAT IS THIS?!" She jumped...hitting her head on the lid and promptly slamming it open.

"WHY AM I IN A GARBAGE BIN?!"

Cinder carefully grabbed onto the ledge and pulled herself out. Then she fell onto the cement ground.

"OUM DAMN IT ALL!" Cinder took a second to look around. She was in a small alleyway...and outside the alleyway, some people had stopped and stared. Cinder noted there was a ridiculous amount of people on the street, so much so that barely a fraction had stopped and looked.

"HOW DARE YOU LOOK AT ME! LEAVE ME, IMBECILES!"

The people quickly walked away, but not before whispering to each other.

"Imbeciles…" muttered Cinder. She pushed herself off the ground...or tried to. Flailing like a fish, she flopped back onto the floor. Cinder cursed and grabbed onto a window sill and tried again. This time, she succeeded.

"I feel like a jellyfish…" she muttered. She put a hand to her head. "What the hell happened?"

"No matter," Cinder muttered. "I'll find a way back from wherever this is and they _will pay."_

She stumbled out of the alley.

"What is _this?"_

For this _city,_ which was all she could describe it as, had the tallest buildings Cinder had ever seen, the most people Cinder had ever seen in one place, and the most...were those _cars?_ They didn't look like cars. The most vehicles Cinder had ever seen. And the ridiculous lights and billboards and light billboards were way over the top. Cinder squinted. What in the world was _Coca Cola?_

She coughed. Oum, it smelled _awful._

 _Thump!_ Cinder spun around...which made her feel awfully lightheaded.

Roman Torchwick fell face first onto the floor from seemingly nowhere. "Ugh…"

Then Adam Taurus landed on top of him. "...oof."

"Hey!"

A flash of green landed on the ground next to them.

"C-Cinder?" stammered her thought to be lost disciple, Emerald Sustrai.

Then her second thought to be lost disciple landed in the trash bin. "The hell?!"

What sounded suspiciously like a meow was followed by a faunus, Sienna Khan, if Cinder remembered correctly, rolling into existence.

Torchwick pushed Adam off of him. He made an attempt to get up and failed. Torchwick held up a hand. "Okay...I'll bite…"

"Ladies, gentlemen, _where the hell are we?"_

* * *

 **A/N: okay...so I had this done for...wow, almost a week...but never found the time to post it! Grr...why does life have to be so busy?! BUT I have a super cool and exciting announcement so I hope it makes up for it!**

 **Beta is bro**

* * *

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **WANTED: OCs!**

 **Now the RWBY villains are stuck on Earth! But...I kinda need people to fill Earth! So send them to me in the REVIEWS!**

 **Rules and Requirements**

 **Basic Info (duh): Name, Appearance, Age, Job/School, Hobbies, Personality, Family, Problems, Anything else important to the character.**

 **NO MARY SUES OR GARY STUS: must be AVERAGE people, so nobody that happens to be a secret military agent or something. If it turns out to be one, I will PM you. Example of someone done right: A McDonald's worker. (Actually, if ur OC is a McDonald's worker, it's basically guaranteed to be a main OC...)**

 **And...that's about it, really! GO WILD!**

* * *

 **Omake: Everyone Loves Dinosaurs!**

 **Requested By: Dev the snake faunus**

Ren facepalmed. " _Why_ is there _another freaking dinosaur in the house."_

He frowned, a tick appearing on his forehead. "I stand corrected, _we don't even have a house anymore."_

"Wee!" Nora rode on the back of a giant dinosaur. has a sail running down the top of it, and along the side of the sail, plates shot out diagonally. The tail was horrifying, all things considered, top spikes shoot back and out, resembling a V. The bottom spikes were blue and in one large bunch. The dinosaur's head had a large horn on the back of it, and two smaller horns on the front. It had a black nose, and 4 glowing pores on each side, which many people mistakened as eyes. The mouth was full of black teeth and the bottom of the mouth was also completely covered in teeth.

Underneath them were the shambles of Ren's (and Nora's, but let's face it, _Ren's)_ recently rebuilt house.

Shadowclaw ran around them, roaring happily.

The other dinosaur let out an ecstatic screech.

Ren winced from the sound.

Apparently, it was a 'Megavore'...aptly named _Megs._

The note that came with the dinosaur _was_ very descriptive…

* * *

 _Hello again!_

 _This is Megs, he's a Megavore and he's Shadowclaw's best friend. He uh...kinda missed Shadowclaw, so here you go! (Also, he eats MEAT, he's a CARNIVORE, a lot of people get that messed up for some reason)._

 _Have fun!_

 _~ Dev "Devastator" Schnee_

* * *

Ren had half a mind to give this Dev a piece of _his_ mind…

Seriously, who leaves dinosaurs with random strangers?! Think of the strangers and the dinosaurs!

Ren let out a long sigh. "Nora, we might as well get some jobs done if we're going to be this unproductive otherwise…"

Gally ran around Ren, screeching at him every once in a while. Seriously, why do gallimimus (gallimimi?) like sticks so much? Wasn't that a dog thing?

Ren threw a stick somewhere in the forest. Gally ran after it.

Nora jumped off Megs with an extravagant flip. "Well then...why don't we bring them with us?!"

Ren pinched his nose and let out a long sigh.

* * *

"Okay…" decided Ren. "Maybe they're not so bad."

He said as Megs tossed a giant Nevermore to Shadowclaw. Shadowclaw jumped into the air, snatching onto the Grimm and clamping down.

A few seconds later and nothing of the Nevermore ever seemed to exist.

"Woo!" Nora cheered from atop Megs.

Meg rammed into a group of Beowulf, sticking his horns into them. They disappeared into ash.

"Still…" Ren stabbed into a Boarbatusk and pulled out Stormflower. He began twitching. "THAT DOESN'T EXCUSE THE HOUSE!"

* * *

 **Omake: Qrow, You are a Horrible Father (Part III)**

 **Requested By: merendinoemilliano**

Red twirled Crescent Rose in her hand. "Okayyy! Hit, riiiiiight...Now!"

Ruby Rose struck with Crescent Rose…right into the private spot of one Qrow Branwen.

"Owowowowow!" Qrow dropped to the arena ground and doubled over in pain.

"S-Sorry! Really sorry!" Ruby exclaimed.

"T-that's all right, kid…" Qrow winced.

Ruby pointed an accusing finger at Red, who was covering her mouth and shaking. "You knew this would happen! You knew!"

"...he _does_ deserve it," Red managed through what sounded suspiciously like chuckles.

"N-none of that happened here, lady!"

"Are you okay?" asked Ruby worriedly. "Did I...break anything permanently?"

"Don't worry," Red waved away her younger self's concerns. "His baby making days are long past anyways"

"Hey!"

"...and probably for the better."

"Tai should've raised you better!"

"Now that's just weak."

Qrow's mouth thinned into a small smile. "Y'know...you guys real-* _ha_ *...Summer would be proud."

Then he promptly fell face first onto the ground and fainted.

"Hm…well, better pick him up and take him to the medical center…" mused Red. She began walking over and muttering to herself about 'stupid, weak, sentimental dads'.

"You think he really meant that?" asked Ruby.

Red looked over her shoulder and gave a thumbs up. "I know it."

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Dev the snake faunus: okay… I see Dev has some anger issues…understandable considering the circumstances though…**

 **meeyaaargh3412: Can I just tell you that ur username has caused me many a headaches lol. Thanks for the support! :)**

 **merendinoemilliano: heheh, thanks!**

 **Treefrogger: me too, honestly. But hey, I think it turned out alright given the circumstances.**

 **JackTheSpades: i felt it would be untrue to he series to always have everyone happy and bubbly (and also really unrealistic) so I'm glad you like that! Eh...I guess the Ozpin thing was just assumption on my part then...still doesn't make any sense though...it would be a twist of it turns out** _ **Salem**_ **created the silver eyes though…**

 **Nightwing2013: :)**

 **Xyander64: Welp, not a lot of Winter here thanks to all the plot stuff I had to go through, but eh...on the bright side, it looks like Winter will be having a huge part in RWBY Volume 6 from all the clues we've been getting!**


	25. New Life and New Plans

**Chp XXIV: New Life and New Plans**

 **Disclaimer: Arrr matey! I sadly can't pilfer RWBY!**

" **Success is the effort you put in something." ~ ARC**

* * *

"Ladies, gentlemen, _where the hell are we?"_ Torchwick hissed.

"Nobody knows!" A hand dramatically appeared from the dumpster. "And why am I in a trash can?!"

"Shut up, Mercury!" Emerald fired.

"Can we all just _be quiet and evaluate_ _the situation?"_ asked Sienna. She stood up with the help of the wall. "As much as I hate to admit it, we're in this together."

"Hm," acknowledged Cinder, the gears in her mind already turning.

The dumpster toppled over and Mercury tumbled out. Garbage bags landed on top of him. He groaned.

"Gu-uys~location!" reminded Torchwick.

Adam glowered at him from his position on the ground. Admittedly, it was a bit difficult to appear menacing while flat on the ground and the bull faunus was no different.

He settled on scowling. It turned out to look more like pouting than anything else.

Cinder confidently (or as confident as she could with pudding legs anyways) walked out of the alleyway and into the bustling city.

She lost confidence right about when her first foot landed on the pavement. "Oum, why is there so many people?!"

She narrowly dodged a random pedestrian. Then promptly stumbling into another one. She ended up tumbling back into the alley.

"Look how impressive you are now." Torchwick sneered.

"Say no more and I'll spare your tongue."

Torchwick shut-upped.

"This place smells horrid." Sienna inhaled. She started coughing.

"Weaklings." Adam pushed himself off the ground. Sure, he wanted to cough just as much as Sienna, but dammit he had a reputation to uphold. "I'll show you how it's done."

He walked towards the opening to the city.

"Prick," he heard someone mutter.

They were so dead.

Adam decided to take utmost caution while trying to go out into the world. He tip-toed to the opening, back to the wall.

Thinking, _all or nothing,_ he jumped out into the open night…

Bumping heads with a random more than average weight human in what seems like an uniform.

" _Human."_ Adam growled.

"Woah there big guy! We're not here to hurt you." He pointed a thumb back at his buddy behind him.

"Liar," Adam muttered. "Now get out of my way!" He moved more sluggishly than he had in years but he managed to unsheathed his sword and waved it at the men.

"Oh jeez," muttered the second man.

A few people walking by eyed the situation. One even took out what looked like a mini-scroll and stopped. It looked like he was _taking a damn video._

The second man placed a hand on the first man's shoulder. "I've got this." He moved in front of the first man.

"Look kid, I know cosplaying is a big thing nowadays but you _really_ don't have to go that far."

From inside the alley, Torchwick laughed his head off. "Cosplaying! Cosplaying! T-that is _golden!"_

The first man facepalmed. "There's more of them…"

"I am _not_ cosplaying!" Definitely not. Nope. Not that weird thing Blake had an obsession with when they were kids.

The men looked at each other.

"Okaaaay…look, why don't you come with us?"

"And why should I do that?"

"Because...oh jeez."

Man #2 opened his mouth to save his friend's butt. "How much do you like food?"

* * *

"Apparently this is called a _hamburger_." Emerald poked at her new discovery. "That's new."

"Mmhm." Mercury was too busy stuffing his face to answer.

"I wonder where they took Cinder and the others?" Emerald picked a piece off of the hamburger and popped it into her mouth. "Mm, tastes kinda like a portoast."

"This is probably the first time in my life when I don't even care that we're isolated in a locked white room," noted Mercury. He glanced at the bag the 'policeman' had given him. "I need to visit this 'McDonald's' when we're out of here. I mean, taste this McFlurry thingy!"

" _I_ think they're going a little too far with their branding here...is it really necessary to have Mc at the beginning of every product?"

"I'm surprised you haven't started hyperventilating about 'dear' Cinder yet."

"I don't think those fat guys are going to be hurting Cinder anytime soon."

"Seriously. _Those_ guys are the defense force they have around here?"

The door suddenly opened. Man #2 from the streets poked his head in. "You guys are cleared. Come on."

Mercury and Emerald looked at each other. They were _pretty sure_ their criminal records were...a _little_ less than clean.

Sienna Khan sighed. "You all owe me."

"How'd you bust us out?" asked Mercury.

"You don't need to know."

* * *

"Okay miss...what's your name?" The man sat in a chair opposite to Sienna.

Sienna Khan was many things but she was not a liar. "Sienna Khan," she said distractedly, eyes scanning her location.

"Weird name." The man wrote down something on a notepad. "But I've got to admit, real catchy."

One of Sienna's cat-ears twitched. "Yes, that was the point."

"I'm guessing you're one of those people that changed their names then." The police nodded to himself. "I've always wanted to change my name, y'know. It's Bob Ross by the way. You can see why I want to change my name."

Sienna, in fact, could not. "That's nice " she said shortly. "As it were…Bob...I believe I-and my companions-were not doing anything wrong per se…"

"You mean _besides_ your one friend who was swinging a sword around."

"I apologize for his behavior, he is quite….rash."

"I was joking! The sword's practically made out of foam. That thing isn't hurting anyone anytime soon."

Sienna blinked once. Then twice. Then Bob's words finally registered in her brain. "WHAT?!"

Bob nearly fell out of his chair. His chair, thankfully, saved him or else Sienna may have been convicted of harm by exclamation.

"W-woah. D-did I say something?"

" _The sword is practically made out of foam?!"_

Bob gave her a confused expression. "Did your friend tell you it was real? It wasn't. Drake kinda broke it in half when your weapon-happy friend tried to stab him."

It was at this point that Sienna nearly decided to pull all four of her ears out from disbelief.

"Where are we?" She decided to ask because clearly this place, wherever it was, was the home to some kind of super technologically advanced civilization like in the movies.

"Uh...the police station."

"Police?"

"Y'know, people who keep the public safe and stuff." Bob frowned. "Were you raised under a rock or are you like, from way out of the country?"

Sienna decided that 'country' was probably synonymous with 'kingdom' and knowing how Atlas liked to treat its foreigners..."Yes...I'm very far out of the country. Me and my compatriots are out here because-I mean, on a _vacation_ and I would appreciate some information."

Then Sienna flashed her most winning smile, something she hadn't had to use in nearly ten years because she was on top of the metaphorical totem pole.

"Ooooh, that would make sense. Got lost in Times Square? Heh, takes some getting used to. Y'know, my dad brought us all the way from Italy to the States and boy was it hard. And then when we went back to visit Italy-"

"That's nice," interrupted Sienna, slightly twitching because she had no idea what and where 'Times Square', 'Italy', and 'the States' were. "Perhaps you should just get me a map."

"Will do, anything else?" Bob looked just eager to help. A pity humans rarely were to faunus. Sienna decided he was alright for what he was.

"Yes, do you know anything about the faunus population in this kingdom?"

Bob blinked. "What's a faunus? Does it have anything to do with fauna? I'm pretty sure the plural of fauna is faunas."

Thus lead to a one hour conversation on the not-existence of faunus which ultimately ended with the police officers laughing about 'furries' and Sienna Khan being very _very_ lost

And that's how she ended up with a Brochure of the World, a free ticket out of police custody, and a mentor named Bob Ross.

She was not aware Bob was a color or represented a color. **(A/N: If you didn't know, there is a Color Naming Code on Remnant where all people and teams have to be named after a color or something that can represent a color)**

* * *

"I thought you didn't like humans," noted Cinder drily.

They randomly walked around the city, not having anywhere to go and being completely broke as it were.

"Apparently faunus don't exist, so my dislike is suspended at the moment," said Sienna.

Emerald eyed the passersby. "No faunus? How does that work? How do you know?"

"I know because I asked. They found the idea hilarious. Apparently 'furries' would be very excited at the possibility though."

"What's a furry?" asked Mercury.

He got collective shrugs from his companions.

Torchwick coughed. "Can I just say that...Adam here is apparently not going to be suspending that dislike with humans anytime soon because he looks royally pissed but maybe that's just his default face, who knows? Anyways, point is, he isn't too happy."

Adam growled. He, in fact, was grieving for the lost of Wilt, his trusty sword for stabbing humans that could not stab humans anymore.

"I also wanted to ask: _what the hell is going on?!"_ Torchwick said a little louder and a lot more insistently.

Sienna was still feeling very cold from her disturbing revelations that did not make any ounce of sense. "I...I don't-"

It was at this point that Mercury's eyes widened. "Oh. My. Oum."

"What?" asked Emerald. She shook him. " _What?"_

Mercury pointed at a giant yellow M on one of the shortest tallest buildings he's ever seen. " _McDonald's."_

Emerald's mouth dropped opened. "...now I can see why they can afford branding everything."

Mercury started running towards pure heaven. He is grabbed by the cuff by Sienna. "In case you didn't notice, _we have none of the currency used by the inhabitants of this city."_

"Then just steal some," suggested Emerald sensibly.

Cinder was too busy thinking about world domination to really pay attention to the conversation at hand. From what she knew, they had been transported from a place _far_ away from anywhere else on Remnant, meaning that no one knew who she was. That her criminal record was basically null.

Yes, this time, perhaps she should work from the inside out...mwahahaha.

"-Cinder?" asked Emerald.

"What?" she hissed.

Emerald flinched. "I-I was wondering if we should try to steal money…"

"Do it," commanded Cinder distractedly. "Sienna, what do you have on this kingdom?"

Sienna handed Cinder the brochure she had gotten at the police station. "Not kingdom," she said and took a deep breath.

Cinder didn't bother really listening to her. She opened the map and stared, then blinked. She blinked again. "...what?"

On the brochure was a map Cinder was pretty sure looked like a six year old's discarded drawing.

"...this doesn't look right."

"No, it doesn't," agreed Sienna. "Do you realize what this means?"

"They gave you a faux."

"Er...no."

Emerald slid into the eternal stream of pedestrians. She made sure she knew where her group of convicted criminals were and made a face at Mercury, who, for once in his life, was actually cheering her on. Only because it happened to benefit him of course. The ass. Then she did what a thief worth even a little of his salt would do and scanned the crowd for the one most palpable looking but also richest looking person to steal from.

She found a nice looking family of blondes wearing outfits way to fancy compared to just about anyone else on the street.

Check.

She moved forward and employed the skills she had steadily stacked up in her years. Except Emerald noticed way too late that _her body was not responding correctly._ Everything was sluggish, just like how Adam swung his sword and Torchwick had trouble standing. At the last second of reaching into the girl, who she assumed was the child of Big Rich #1 and Big Rich #2, Emerald knew she was going to fail and retreated her hand. Except Ms. Rich turned around. Her hand reached out and grabbed Emerald's in a tight grip. When Emerald was looking at the blonde from behind, she hadn't noticed that along with the fancy jewels around her neck and the expensive leather that made up her coat, was blue streaks running down her hair and sharp and clearly paranoid eyes. Emerald knew because she had eyes just like that.

She knew she could probably break the girl's arm if she wanted, but getting arrested right out of a release sounds like a pretty awful idea, all things considered.

"Just passing by," said Emerald with what could only be the grace of someone who had had to lie about a million times before. "Wow, there sure are a _lot_ of people here."

"Sure." The girl dropped Emerald's hand and walked back to her family. "By the way, maybe you should try to dye your hair something less crazy."

"IT'S NATURAL!" It _was._ Emerald decided she didn't want to see the rude girl again anytime in the foreseeable future.

Okay, so maybe that stealing thing wasn't going to work. And now she had to report back to Cinder...she was so dead.

Emerald did go back and give the report. In which she realized that Cinder was _so luckily distracted_ that she got a free pass.

"Do you know what this means?" Cinder asked. She practically slammed the brochure onto Emerald's face. Emerald saw a map that she was pretty sure looked like something out of a very drunk night out.

"Someone is messing with us?" asked Emerald.

"No, you idiot. It means we're in a _different_ world."

She got three collective blinks from Emerald, Mercury, and emo Adam.

"And it also means I have another chance at _power._ This time, from the bottom to the top with _no one to stop me!_ MWAHAHAHA!"

"Shut up, human," said Adam. He looked around at the people that had complete reason to stare at them. "You're embarrassing us."

"It won't matter when I-I mean _we_ are on top of the world!"

"We," clarified Sienna.

"Yes, we," said Cinder. Admittedly, she didn't like the sound of _we_ but even she had to admit that she needed some help if she was going to conquer the world. "Doesn't it sound good to you?"

"The faunus don't exist here," said Sienna.

Adam stayed emo and grunted a 'no'.

Mercury kicked at the cement floor.

Emerald looked anywhere but Cinder.

"Yes!" Torchwick agreed, already on board.

Cinder ignored him.

"You people have no motivation," growled Cinder. "Mercury, being on top means being rich. You can have all the MgRonald-"

"McDonald," corrected Mercury.

"-McDonald you want."

Cinder continued. "Emerald, imagine how great your life would be rich."

"I can finally get a cat?" asked Emerald hopefully.

Cinder twitched. "Yes."

"Adam...Sienna, give me something on him." Cinder looked at Sienna expectantly. Sienna stared at her.

"You can finally get revenge on the humans!" declared Torchwick, having already jumped on the ship like a pro. "Stabby, stabby!"

Adam grunted something.

Torchwick cupped a ear. "What was that?"

"...fine."

Cinder looked at Sienna.

"I am not following your madness," said Sienna, being the only reasonable person in the group.

Which was not good because Cinder already thought of her as the most valuable person she had. For one, she was actually capable of something.

"Where else would you go?" asked Cinder.

"..." Sienna looked around the sprawling city she couldn't see the end of and the buildings that seem to go on forever. There was only two faunus in this world.

Only two.

"You manipulative bastard."

Cinder grinned. "That _is_ my best trait."

* * *

"First," said Sienna. "We have to get certificates and records." They had been released in the middle of the night and now the sun was starting to rise. Not to mention they had to constantly be on the move.

Needless to say, none of them were feeling particularly energetic or intelligent.

"Did we win something?" asked Mercury. He rubbed his eyes.

Sienna stared at him.

"He's not very smart," said Emerald.

"Hey!" Mercury went to punch Emerald. Emerald dodged.

"I _meant_ certificates of residence."

"Oh."

Cinder raised an eyebrow. "And how do you do that?"

"Well...there's no way to obtain them legally in our situation…"

* * *

"He-llo~" Roman wiggled his eyebrows at the lady behind the counter. He put an elbow on the table and leaned in. "Dear, I think you look gorgeous."

"Um-uh-" The poor lady in her twenties blushed.

"Just keep your eyes on me," suggested Roman, leaning closer.

On the other side of the counter, Emerald held out a long steel pole with a hooked end, trying to grab the papers they needed. One of the people behind the counter started to turn around.

"Hey sir! I need help!" called Mercury. He panicked when the man came over. "U-uh...where do you think I can submit a form for a pet...a pet alligator!"

The man stared at him.

Emerald squinted, waving around the pole.

"Do you like my cane?" asked Roman. He brought up his cane and began stroking it. The woman blinked.

Emerald started stabbing at random papers.

Another man behind the counter started to turn.

Cinder slumped in her seat. "NoOOoooOOOO! I'm DYING!"

The man stared at the poor actor.

Emerald finally stabbed into the right stacks of papers.

She pulled back, grabs the paper, and stuffs them into her shirt. She lets out a sigh of relief. Emerald hurried for the door.

The others followed her one by one.

One of the men look at the girl. "That was weird."

"And creepy…" noted the girl. She shivered.

"Why are there holes in the papers?!" screamed the other man.

The man and girl looked at each other. ""We're doomed.""

* * *

After sending the certificates and records to the government, Sienna moved on to more pressing matters.

"We need a loan."

She was running the party now.

The accountant blinked. "So you want a loan...but you've never done it before and now you want enough for a house."

"Or apartment," added Sienna agreeably.

"That's...that's not really how loans work, ma'am."

Sienna's ear twitched. The accountant couldn't help but look at them. "Nice decorations ma'am."

"...thank you." Sienna's ears twitched more. She wanted out _now._ " _But_ see, we have done loans before. We moved from uh…"

Sienna quickly turned around, pulled out the brochure, read a random country, and turned back. "...from Mongolia."

"Oh! I see! Immigrants then."

"Yes."

"Hm...okay. Maybe we can make an exception then…" The accountant smiled at Sienna. "I know it's hard moving to a new country."

 _Oh you have_ no idea _what it's like to move to a new world._

* * *

"You're kidding me," said Mercury.

"Well...it's better than nothing?" tried Emerald.

Adam let out a dissatisfied grunt.

"We're broke and on a loan," said Sienna. "Deal with it."

Cinder stepped into the tiny, dirty apartment. She started speaking, but went into a coughing fit. She cleared her throat and tried again. "This is a mandatory step to our finale at the top of the world! We will-"

"Yeah, yeah." Torchwick stumbled into the house and face-planted on the wooden floor. He started snoring. Made sense considering they had been running around for nearly 72 hours now.

"How many rooms are there?" asked Emerald, carefully stepping past Torchwick.

"This room, a kitchen, a bathroom, and another room," replied Sienna coolly.

Seeing as her amazing speech was interrupted and no one was going to be listening, Cinder made a run for the one bedroom.

Sienna sighed. "We're sharing!"

" _No."_ Cinder slammed the door close.

"I _am_ not-"

" _Fine!_ You. Get. The. Floor."

Sienna gritted her teeth. "Fine." The bed was tiny anyways.

Mercury collapsed onto the couch. It popped under the pressure.

Emerald cursed at him. She escaped to the kitchen.

Sienna rubbed her eyes and sighed. This was going to be a weird new life.

"We need jobs," said Sienna first thing in the morning.

She was met with groans...including herself.

* * *

 _Three Weeks Later…_

"Mercury! Please tell me you didn't mess up the french fries with the chicken nuggets!"

"What? No! Taiyo taught me how to _not_ mess them up a day ago!"

"Then why is there a customer telling me that he found french fries in his chicken nugget order?!"

"Uh-um...mess up?

"By _you."_

"Sorry! I'll try better!"

"You better, young man!"

"Ugh…" Mercury slammed his face into his arms, hamburger already devoured. "Why is assassination harder than working at McDonald's?" he muttered.

"D-did you say something?" asked Taiyo. He looked up from his phone. Mercury always kinda found his yellow eyes and red hair scary, but then it turned out he was more of a teddy bear kinda thing.

"Nothing, nothing. Thinks for clearing my ass, man."

Taiyo laughed a little. "D-don't worry about it. Ms. Winn is scary at first, b-but she grows on you."

"Right…" Mercury does not believe him.

"Get your butts back up here! Break's over!"

Mercury groaned.

* * *

"You're always moody aren't you?" asked Rey Cina, Adam's bouncer buddy.

Adam grunted.

"I'm going to assume that's a yes."

Another grunt.

"You're actually very cathartic, you know."

Another grunt.

"The only words I've ever heard you say is 'don't touch me, human'...I'm guessing you have some anger issues and touchy feelies."

This time, the grunt was more irritated.

"Why do you always wear that mask anyways?" asked Rey.

Adam's response was more growl than grunt this time.

"Oka-ay," decided Rey. "I'll leave you alone now."

She kind of had to because a group of not very adult looking boys were coming their way but she couldn't help think: _have I seen that mask before?_

* * *

"You're a natural," praised the pizzeria owner. "That is some real good cutting right there."

Emerald preened at the compliment. "Thanks. I've had a... _lot_ of experience."

"I can tell."

"Stop praising the new girl, boss!"

The bell rang, signaling a new customer.

Emerald dreaded it every time.

"Come on now," said her boss. "Nothing to be scared of."

She liked working in the shadows better than dealing with entitled people who think pizza can be made _just for them._ Ugh.

* * *

"A Kamikaze please!"

"Sex on the Beach."

"I would like a Long Island Iced Tea, if you may."

Roman Torchwick was pretty pleased with himself. He quite liked being a bartender except…

 _WHY IS THERE A COCKTAIL NAMED SEX ON THE BEACH IN THIS UNIVERSE?!_

It made no sense. It was disturbing. Roman decided that he didn't want to know how and who made up that name.

"Shawn," greeted Roman drily. "Here to complain about the younger generation again?"

"Haha! You know me too well, Roman. Yes, the younger generation, who can't even remember when the internet was dial-up, it's like ancient history to them!"

"Mm," said Roman, who can't, in fact, remember a time when internet was dial up nor any history lessons on dialing the internet. He was still getting used to no Grimm, no aura, no semblance, and most importantly, no dust. "Well, my shift is almost over. I think I'll join you with a drink…"

"I desperately need a drink and I love drinking." Roman grinned. "Win, win!"

* * *

Sienna decided that there were worse things than being customer support in a Best Buy. It may baffle her mind how utterly stupid human beings are but at least it meant that she always had breaks. More breaks than what Mercury seemed to get anyways. And more importantly, it pays good money.

Sienna had to admit, she _was_ pretty proud of herself because she landed a much better job than any of the others.

"Jeremy. What do you need today?" asked Sienna.

The tall man coughed uncomfortably. "Yeah...my PS2 _may have_ broke again."

Sienna groaned. "I'll get the Geek Squad."

This had been going on for a _week._ Seriously, that PS2 might just be cursed.

She just realized how far she's fallen.

It's depressing.

* * *

As per usual now, the group of displaced criminals returned to their poverty-level home and complained about their new life situation. Besides Roman, Roman was pretty happy.

Adam was still acting mute, so much so that Roman had begun comparing him to Neo, which was _not_ healthy. The faunus mostly spent his time mourning over his broken sword and making sure to take care of his not-broken sheathe.

Roman decided he didn't want to know Adam's relationship with his weapons and let the faunus keep to himself. Everyone else must've thought the same thing because they did so too.

"My legs hurt." Mercury groaned. "Working as mercenaries wasn't as detrimental to my health."

"I believe your diet may have something to do with it," said Sienna with no remorse.

"It's just a lot of meat! Everyone has to eat _meat."_

"I am, in fact, a pescaterian."

Mercury blinked. "What the heck is that?"

Sienna's ears twitched. "Someone who does not eat _meat..._ and before you ask, _someone who can eat fish."_

That sounds strangely specific," said Mercury.

"Why is there only fish and cucumbers in the refrigerator?!" demanded Emerald.

"We're poor," reminded Sienna.

"Why _fish_ and _cucumbers?_ Both are awful."

"You take that back, rude child!"

" _Rude?_ I'm not the one who makes people suffer by food!"

"Excuse me? Fish and cucumbers are _bless_ not _suffering._ And for your information, _I_ seem to be the only person actually capable of _shopping_ here."

* * *

 _Four Shopping Failures and One Shopping Success_

 _Cinder Fall:_

" _What do you_ mean _that this single water bottle is $1.35?! A pack of 30 is only $5.75!" Cinder looked about ready to murder the poor, stricken cashier whose name tag read 'Crystal Acosta'._

" _Ma'am, I don't exactly make the prices here…" the cashier sweatdropped._

" _THEN TELL ME WHO DOES SO I CAN BURN THEM TO DEATH!"_

 _Mercury and Emerald had to drag Cinder out of the supermarket._

 _Another cashier walked over to Crystal. "...what was that?"_

" _I assume a pyromaniac…"_

* * *

 _Emerald Sustrai:_

" _Uh…" Emerald fumbled with her change. "How much was that?"_

 _Crystal sighed. "$6.34…"_

" _R-right." Emerald frowned. "How much is this coin again?"_

 _Crystal stared. "It's a quarter so $0.25."_

" _And this one?"_

" _...one cent."_

" _And this one?"_

" _Hurry up!" exclaimed an old lady waiting in the line._

" _U-uh…" Emerald panicked. "S-Sienna!"_

 _Sienna sighed._

* * *

 _Mercury Black:_

" _Oh and I'll get this too," Mercury pointed at a Tic-Tac. "And this." A Hershey bar. "And that." A magazine on 'The Guide to Fast Food'. "And th-"_

 _Adam came over, knocked him out, and carried him away._

 _Crystal blinked. She looked down at the abandoned pile of useless items. What was she supposed to do with these things now?_

 _Roman Torchwick:_

 _Roman lit a cigarette...right in the middle of a waiting line._

 _He was kicked out._

" _What?! Why the heck is there something called 'no smoking?!"_

* * *

 _Adam Taurus:_

" _Um, sir," said Crystal. "You need a license for that." Namely, the dagger Adam had picked up in the weapons section of the store._

 _Adam growled._

" _Sir, you_ really _need a license for that."_

 _The faunus turned and walked away._

 _Crystal sighed._

* * *

 _Sienna Khan:_

" _I've had...a really stressful week," said Crystal, rubbing her forehead. "Please make this easy for me. $15.43."_

 _Sienna handed her $15.43._

 _Crystal thanked God._

* * *

Sienna wondered when she became the caretaker of the group and why everyone else seems to be completely useless.

"Maybe none of this would happen if Cinder actually got a job." Torchwick examined his fingernails, not that anyone was looking because no one paid much attention to the oldest person in the house.

"She'll get a job eventually," insisted Emerald. "She always pulls through."

"Except when she doesn't," Mercury tacked on.

Emerald glowered. "If Cinder hears you say that-"

"Say what?" The door suddenly flew open. Cinder, in all her street clothed glory beamed with menace in the doorway...which looked more like a person who had fallen out of bed in the morning and was now desperately trying to reorientate herself by using the sun.

Mercury coughed. "Nothing."

Emerald decides to let him go this one time. He owed her now.

"Any luck in the job-finding field?" asked Roman, not sounding like he had just pinned the blame on Cinder for their current predicament only a few minutes before.

"I actually have," said Cinder. She grinned. "And I'm a bodyguard so stick it, Sienna."

Sienna cursed because she was pretty sure bodyguards get paid more than customer service employees.

"A bodyguard?" asked Mercury incredulously. He mildly noted that Cinder was a lot less of an imposing person when she lived in the same shitty apartment as him. She acted a lot less imposing too so maybe that was it.

"Oh it was easy, I just had to break the arms and legs of a few of the other competitions. They hired me on the spot."

"Dammit, I was sure breaking arms and legs weren't accepted in this world's society. I could've gotten such a better job!" lamented Roman. "Not that I'm complaining, being a bartender is actually very cathartic."

"You're adjusting well to the absence of aura then?" asked Sienna.

Cinder threw her coat at the couch, meaning it landed on Roman's face, and walked into the room. She let out a superior smirk. "Well, I must say I'm probably adjusting better than all of you combined."

"So your snark isn't all gone, how disappointing," said Sienna.

"Shut up."

Roman huffed and tossed Cinder's coat to the floor. "Are you bodyguarding anyone important?"

Cinder grinned devilishly. "No, but they _are_ rich." She struck a pose reminiscent of Salem. "Meaning they're _profitable."_ Cue evil laughter.

"Oh dear." Sienna sighed. She hated when the maniacal human made progress in her faux world domination plan from the inside out that never worked in any universe if movies were any indication.

* * *

"I kind of feel bad about Sienna," said Red suddenly. "She wasn't _that_ bad was she?"

"Too late," Hohenheim said distractedly. "Though it _might_ have been a mistake…"

They were in fact, in Moon's personal airship, still on the run from Glynda's wrath.

Moon twirled her expensive chair around. Her fingers intertwined each other and she grinned thinly. Behind her, Dragon was playing a video game on her scroll.

"You look like an evil mastermind," Belladonna felt the need to tell Moon. "And you look like the sidekick, Dragon."

"I'm not the sidekick!" protested Dragon. "We're equals!"

"That's what I was going for," dismissed Moon. "Now, ladies…and gentleman, the Vytal Festival is quickly coming upon us."

"Oh crap, I forgot," said Red. She held up a giant bulletin board with impossible to read red scribbles. "I was busy working on our master plan."

Belladonna sighed. "Now I'm worried."

"No, no! It's actually good! It only involves luring Salem to the Colosseum! What was the Colosseum called again?"

"...the Amity Colosseum?" said Belladonna. "You really should know this."

"It's not my fault that I never finished my education." Red sniffed. "And don't say none of us did because I was younger than everyone else."

"Did you account for the fact that we have none of the relics and are missing one maiden?" asked Hohenheim.

"Of course, I'm one of the best strategists known to Remnant."

"No, I'm pretty sure that was me," said Hohenheim.

"We share it."

" _I_ was the strategist," corrected Belladonna.

Moon frowned. "No, I'm sure _I_ was the strategist."

Dragon whistled discreetly.

"Fine, we're all strategists!" Red exclaimed. "I just happen to be the better one!"

Moon twitched.

Belladonna decided to make a shadow clone pat Red's back because she couldn't be bothered to get up and walk across the room. "If that's what makes you feel better…"

Red coughed. "Anyways, _back to business,_ ladies...and gentleman."

"Why do I feel left out here?" wondered Hohenheim.

"Listen up, Salem isn't going to waste this opportunity with the Vytal Festival so we have two goals."

"Goal One: Defeat Salem." Red continued.

"Goal Two: Win the Vytal Festival. Well, Team RWBY wins the Vytal Festival but you get my point."

"Objection to Goal Two!" Hohenheim declared. "JNPR is winning this one!"

"They can win next year!" said Dragon.

Hohenheim made an x-sign with his arms. " _No."_

"Majority vote," Moon declared.

"That's not fair." Hohenheim sniffed. "You're Team RWBY."

"Then transport more of Team JNPR here if you're so lonely," Red suggested. "I heard being away from life-long friends can be harmful to your psyche."

Belladonna grinned because she was the one to tell Red that.

"If we keep on transporting people, there won't be anyone left to run our stuff," pointed out Hohenheim.

"Trust me," said Moon. "I get the short end of the stick here."

" _But..._ I _am_ really lonely," mused Hohenheim. He jumped up and reached for the Ditrav.

"Just one more person," he decided. "Someone from my team."

He kickstarted the Ditrav and entered the keywords for the dimension-travelers' dimension coordinates. He also made sure to tell the Ditrav to search for one of his teammates. The last thing he wanted was the company of a shopkeeper. Hohenheim was pretty sure shopkeepers aren't much company.

A purple portal zapped into existence. And out stumbled…

"Oh no," muttered Moon, a horrified expression on her face.

Belladonna facepalmed.

"...why karma, why?" wondered Dragon.

Red gave Hohenheim a look that was half sorry and half 'why do you bring this down on us?'.

Hohenheim had half the mind to either turn back his life decision or start begging for everyone's forgiveness.

"Well, I'm not supposed to be here," said Ilia Amitola. She brushed off dust from her black leather coat. "But...I don't _really_ mind."

She winked.

Cue exasperated groans.

* * *

 **QUESTION: SHOULD THERE BE MORE OF SIENNA AND CO IN THE STORY?**

 **A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaack! Hope ya'all liked, or at least got a few laughs, from the change in focus from RSBD to villians-turn-law abiding citizens! Beta is bro.**

 **Special Thanks to merendinoemilliao, The Wizardous Magicman, DeadLyokoBrony, IDRF, Bell Awesome, Distant Moon, and WhichOneisWill for the OC submissions, which btw, are STILL OPEN!**

* * *

 **When You Drop on Your Mom and Uncle Dating...with Your Girlfriend**

 **Requested By: Darkness-Above**

"What the hell?!" exclaimed someone.

Red was too busy blinking away the bright spots in her vision to bother with who it was. Luckily, her trusty girlfriend was always super attentive. At all times. Okay, it might be a pain sometimes.

"You two were making-out," said Belladonna drily. "Red, you should probably talk to Qrow about this when we get back."

"What does this have to do with Q-QROW?!" Red jumped back at the unusual sight of her teenager uncle who for once, didn't have any sign of alcohol on him.

"Who are _you?"_ Mini-Qrow asked incredulously, wrapping an arm around-

"MOM?!" Red's brain preceded to short-circuit because she _did not_ like this implication. Not at all.

Belladonna's ears twitched. She grabbed onto the cloak of her girlfriend to prevent her from falling off the balcony. "Deep breaths," she suggested.

"I-I don't deal well with surprises."

Mini-Summer frowned. "Mom? I think I'm a little young for that."

"I don't want kids," added Qrow. He frowned. "Now can you guys leave? We _were_ kind of busy."

"Making-out." Red gagged.

Belladonna hummed. "Most people go through several romantic partners before they settle with one. This should have been expected, especially since they _were_ partners if I remember correctly."

Red gagged more at the thought of her mom going out with even more people.

"And it's fine, you know who she'll end up with anyways and you never seemed to have a problem with the fact that Taiyang had a kid with Raven before settling down with Summer."

"That's because I try not to think about it!"

"Wait, _what?!"_ Qrow demanded. "Wha-"

"Look on the bright side," reasoned Belladonna. "At least Summer doesn't seem like the type to end up with an abusive partner somewhere along the road."

"Please shut up."

"Compared to me-"

It was at this point Red decided to shut Belladonna up with her mouth instead of verbally.

* * *

 **Omake: Active Camo**

 **By: The Wizardous Magicman**

"Hi, um Ilia, was it? You're Blake's friend?" Ruby asked

"Yeah-yes, yes I am Blake's friend. Why do you ask?"

"I just wanted to say hi! Which I guess I already did, but...ugh...(normal knees)...anybody

who's a friend of Blake's is a friend of mine! Put'er there, pal!"

"Umm...ok..."*pattern change-blush*

"WOW! THAT IS SO COOL! Omygodyoumustbesomekindaninjalikeblakeorrenhaveyoumetrenhe'ssocoolandhandsomenotthatblakeisn'timeandon'ttellherpleasethatilikeninjasimeanhowcouldafterreadingNinjasofLove DON'T TELL HER I READ HER BOOK!"

shadow clone in*

"I knew you and I shared a taste in literature"

Ninja-vanish!*

"Oh. All out."

Ninja-Sun!*

"Ugh. Why do I gotta do it?"

"Because I'm feigning interest in you so you have something to dream about?"

"THAT WAS FAKE?!"

"Of course. I'm actually performing a long and convoluted plan called 'Knight of the

Bumblebee'."

"Then why should I help you?"

"I thought it was because I was a valued friend, but if not that then I'll send you the vide-"

"Done."

Sun departs with Blake atop his back*

"Uh, what were we talking about again?"

"Your taste for ninjas?"

"No...Blake and Ren are already kinda preoccupied, so no luck there, and I've only just met

you imeanyouseemnicebutthat'djustbeawkwardyouknow?"

"Well, i always wanted somebody, who could...dote on me...who couldn't...live without me...*snaps fingers* EUREKA! That's it!"

[MENACING] [MENACING] [MENACING]

"What's going on? And what's with all the menacing?"

"Ruby Rose! What's the one thing everybody knows about you? Your one crippling weakness? The one thing that you love above all else? It is..."

pattern change-*

"COOKIES!"

-cookie*

"...cookies."

Ilia simply leaned back victoriously, Ruby doing her best to eat her skin.

"Hmm, maybe this wasn't that well thought out. I mean, it's nice to be loved, but THE BITING KINDA FRICKIN' HURTS!"

"Sorry! I'll try licking instead, cookie lady"

"Ah, much better. This would've turned out very differently if not for my semblance. Probably would've had you whirling out crescent rose and yelling "Blood for the blood cookie!". Thank Oum that didn't happen."

"Y-yeah." Ruby said, tentatively licking Ilia's cheek, fiddling desperately to manually revert her scythe back behind her back. "That could've been close."

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Mew Shadowfang: Because Sienna needs some spotlight after getting introduced and killed off in one episode. People keep on asking me to bring in more characters. I did so you can all stop bugging me now =).**

 **merendinoemilliano: glad I can make your day~I don't really know what Emil looks like so can you give me some descriptions? And for the 'not all of us can fly,' Red means that she and Dragon can but not many other people but I doubt Red can fly enough to reach an airship anyways. Cinder** _ **was**_ **using her maiden powers, they were just weak because she only had half.**

 **The Wizardrous Magicman: I now have conflicting names for one ship and must consult the magical shipping chart.**

 **Dev the snake faunus: Changed the Meg to Megs, oopsy on my part, lol. Will do with the omakes whenever something funny pops into my head.**

 **Xyander64: We are all doomed the day Moon finds the magical shipping chart.**

 **JackTheSpades: Some very good points. I think I** _ **should**_ **begin focusing on different reactions soon and I have just the thing...mwahahaha**

 **DeadLyokoBrony: Glad you enjoyed the chapter and thanks for the OC!**

 **IDRF: Seriously, it always makes my day when someone says they actually enjoys my weird stuff. Thanks for the OC. =)**

 **Bell Awesome: That was actually on my mind for ages and I'm really glad you found it awesome. Thanks for the OC too!**

 **Distant Moon: Thanks for the OC. Woah, I never noticed that about Miles…**

 **Darkness-Above: I hope I live up to expectations in the future! Anyways, I can tell you right now that I don't believe in the 'Qrow is Ruby's Father' theory because of one thing. Miles Luna has** _ **officially**_ **stated that Qrow is NOT Ruby's dad in an AMA...so yeah. I hope the omake was still heartwarming though.**

 **WhichOneIsWill: I feel the need to clarify that I'm a girl, lol. But anyways, again, sorry for the late response because I was a little busy with the dreaded real life. On the bright side, I can now confirm that Sapphire will have a pretty big part in Cinder's lunatic world-domination plans!**

 **Axcel: I know...but I feel like this way, Sienna will get more character development and time among other things so yeah =).**

* * *

 **If you need me, I'm ArosCao_ARC on Twitter**

 **Review, Favourite, and Follow if you want more!**


	26. When in Doubt, Kidnap!

**Chp XXIV: When in Doubt, Kidnapping is the way to go!**

 **Disclaimer: RWBY is not mine, else the updating schedule would be screwed.**

" **I'M BAAAA-*dodges a tomato* AAAACK!" - ARC**

* * *

"Remember," said Dragon. "Act normal, stay human colored, and please for the love of Oum _, don't flirt."_

She marched down Beacon's halls, future-Illia trailing behind her.

"Don't worry," Ilia drawled. She kept on checking out Beacon's decorations. "I'm a well-behaved person...mostly."

"At least you're self-aware."

"So...we're in the past and you guys broke the first rule of time-travel, from what I got, a few minutes after you arrived."

"To be fair, we were trying to figure out what was going on."

"Eh, rules are boring anyways," Ilia noted. "And it sounds like it would really suck to be hiding everything all the time...I would know."

"Heh. I can agree with you on that."

Dragon stopped at the elevator and hit in a number. "You should get a code name. Makes things a lot easier."

Ilia grinned and wiggled an eyebrow. "I like that idea. What about...lady killer?"

" _No._ First, that's two words and second, that's stupid." Dragon crossed her arms.

"I'll figure it out."

The elevator rang and the doors opened. They were met with blasting rock music.

' _Dare! Dare to believe you can survive! You hold the future in your hand! Dare-'_

"...what the hell?" asked Ilia.

' _It's time to take a stand! And you can win, if you dare-"_

"...I think Red and Belladonna warned me about this."

"Let me fix the problem." Ilia said. She pulled out her sword, extended it, and blasted the speakers attached to the top of the elevator.

Alarms immediately started blaring.

"Good job," said Dragon drily.

"If I was good at my jobs, I would be in jail right now," Illia muttered. She regretted barfing her heart out to Blake-or Belladonna now-when she was fifteen, but she sure as hell _did not_ regret leaving the White Fang and not meeting the fate of many of the members there. "I thought Hohenheim shut down all the alarms, _he's_ the one bad at his job."

"You're both bad at your jobs!"

They watched as huntsmen-in-training poured out of their classrooms and looked around confused when they found nothing blowing up and nobody destroying things (for once).

Glynda Goodwitch marched through the crowd. One of her eyes twitched when she found Dragon and Ilia. " _You."_

"Not me." Ilia whistled.

Glynda turned to Dragon. " _You."_

Dragon coughed.

"Who broke my speakers?!" Ozpin charged down the path Glynda had left in her wake. He looked utterly devastated.

"With all due respect sir," said Ilia. "I think I did everyone here a favor."

"Agreed," Glynda had to mutter.

"What?" asked Ozpin.

" _Ahem._ Nothing."

Ozpin turned to Ilia. "And who are you who dares to break my speakers?"

"Uh…" Ilia frowned. She glanced at Dragon and smirked. "La-"

" _Iris,"_ said Dragon. " _Iris."_

"Ahem. Not what I was going to say, but it works...I guess," decided Iris with a pout.

Ozpin raised an eyebrow.

"Oh no…" muttered Glynda. She scanned Iris. "Which one are _you?"_

Ozpin looked at Iris. "Oh dear...though I must wonder, does every single time-traveler must have a screw loose to qualify?"

"I'm not going to answer that," said Dragon. She clapped her hands together. "Okay then. To the office!"

* * *

"WHAT?!" screamed Glynda in all too unrelatable rage and indignation. She slammed her hands on Ozpin's table. Ozpin frowned when his desk shook under him.

"Woah…" muttered Iris, turning blue.

"We thought it was a good idea," said Dragon...made unconvincing by her tilt of head and wondering eyes.

"You thought kidnapping huntsmen-in-training and going off on an impromptu trip to the other kingdoms to get the maidens and relics was a _good idea."_ Ozpin frowned. "I refuse."

"Uh…"

Outside the window, four airships zoomed off.

"Ohhhh," said Iris. "Too late!"

"Don't sound so happy…" muttered Dragon. "You're giving us a bad image."

"Pfft. I always gave everyone a bad image!"

"You shouldn't be proud of that!"

Glynda took in and let out a few deep breaths. "Beacon is _supposed_ to be a safe-haven for huntsmen-in-training, _not_ a place where they are kidnapped by their future self."

"Well…" Iris shrugged. "I heard Bl-I mean, Belladonna got stabbed, Dragon lost an arm, Hohenheim's girlfriend died, Red got knocked into a coma, and uh...what happened to Moon again?"

"She got kidnapped by her dad," Dragon remembered.

"I hate her dad."

"Most people do."

"-all in Beacon," Iris finished with a winning smile.

Glynda glowered at her.

"That hasn't happened yet," defended Ozpin weakly.

"Don't worry!" Dragon said. "They'll be perfectly safe-"

"Probably a lot safer than they are at Beacon," added Iris.

"-with us time-travelers."

"Considering your earlier track record," deadpanned Glynda. "I find that highly unlikely."

"Nobody has gotten hurt yet!"

" _Besides,"_ said Iris, getting bored (she was notorious for having a short attention span). "It's not like you can do anything now, they already left."

"Well then," said Ozpin, leaning back in his chair. "It looks like we'll need more substitute teachers…"

"I don't even want to know how they were kidnapped," muttered Glynda.

* * *

 _A Few Minutes Ago…_

"Operation: Kidnap Ourselves is a go!" declared Red. She made her airship circle Beacon.

"Oh Oum, I hate that name," muttered Hohenheim through the mic. "Why did I agree to that name?"

"Too late," said Moon coolly through her own mic. "If it's any consolation, at least you haven't had to dealt with these names for years on end now."

"My operation names are _efficient,"_ Red corrected. "They get to the point."

"Let's just get this over with," Belladonna's voice came out as unenergetic as humanly possible.

"That's a good idea," decided Red. "Ilia, Dragon, on point?"

"Yup, at the front of Beacon and ready to ruin Glynda's day," said Dragon cheerily.

"...who was Glynda again?" asked Ilia.

"It's so hard to remember that you never went to Beacon," noted Moon.

"Must have something to do with the world ending at the time," Ilia said with disturbing cheer. "Y'know, those were some of the best days of my life."

"What? I had a crappy childhood!"

"Your opinion is noted," said Hohenheim. "I've disabled all alarms connected to the mainframe. Time to get going."

Red lowered her airship. She pulled the lever for an emergency evacuation, shooting out of the cockpit. Red crashed through the auditorium dome and touched down on the stage, effectively slamming her feet into the substitute professor and knocking him onto the ground.

"Hello students, miss me?"

...and was met with the horrified faces of the first-years.

"She just killed our professor!" someone whispered very badly. "With her _feet."_

Red frowned and nudged the professor. "Nope. Still alive." She looked up. "Ruby, I'm kidnapping you. Let's go."

"Yay!" Ruby quickly appeared at Red's side.

"That isn't something to be happy about you dol-mmph!"

Moon stuffed what looked suspiciously like stuffing (the pillow kind) down Weiss's throat. "That's how you do a kidnapping, _dolt."_

"Oh now we're going back to old nicknames, _princess?"_

Belladonna sighed at the complete incompetence of her teammates and quickly abducted Blake (the tried and true 'knock 'em out and drag them' method) before flashing off...like a ninja (she would like to remind everyone she was not, in fact, a ninja. Don't call her that, she hated it).

Yang frowned. "Am I getting kidnapped?"

"Nope," said Red cheerfully.

"Aw…"

"There is something _seriously_ wrong with them," said Sky of Team CDNL. He quickly edged away from Yang, whom he had quite the displeasure of standing next to.

Hohenheim, being the most efficient member of the dimension-travelers by a long shot, simply flew over the Red-sized hole and used an oversized claw machine to try to grab Jaune...though one would think that was quite difficult considering that claw machines are notorious for being completely rigged.

"Dammit! Grab the blonde one, you stupid thing!" hissed Hohenheim in annoyance as his claw picked up a random brown-haired cannon fodder student. He slammed his fist down on the red button, releasing the generic cannon fodder.

Jaune blinked at his future-self's words. "Is Hohenheim...trying to kidnap me?"

The claw-machine grabbed Nora off the ground. "Weeeeeee! I'm being kidnapped!"

Ren facepalmed. **(Reader Discretion: This is not the proper way to respond to a kidnapping situation...or any dangerous situation for that matter).**

Nora was dropped to the ground.

"Are you okay?" asked Pyrrha, kneeling next to her.

"Nooooooooo! I'm not getting kidnapped!"

"You're okay," decided Pyrrha with a sigh.

"Augh!" That would be the sound of Jaune crying out from being pulled up by the metal claw.

Hohenheim smirked. " _Finally."_

Pyrrha frantically looked between her hapless boyfriend and the future version of her hapless boyfriend's giant claw machine. She pushed off the ground, grabbing the arm of the claw and hung on.

Ren facepalmed. He winced at the growing red mark on his forehead, courtesy of his many facepalms.

By this time, some of the students had finally brightened up to the kidnapping situation and ran out of the auditorium to inform the headmaster. _Then_ the alarms began ringing.

Red appeared on her airship in a flash of red roses, pulling Ruby with her.

"It's been a while since you messed up, Hohenheim! Makes me kind of nostalgic!" she yelled over the wind. Her cloak fluttered all over her face. Red grabbed it.

"Y'know I wouldn't give this cloak up for the world…" She looked over at Ruby. "...but I can't tell you how many times I've almost died because of it. Actually, I'm pretty sure the world _did_ almost end thanks to it one time."

Her response was the horrified face of Ruby.

"The alarms didn't go off because of a mistake!" said Hohenheim, checking his systems as Jaune and Pyrrha dropped onto his airship. He turned and frowned. "One of you aren't supposed to be here."

"Then what's the problem?" asked Moon, jumping onto her own aircraft. She ungagged Weiss, who launched into a coughing fit and what sounded suspiciously like noblemen curses.

"...it seems Dragon and Ilia have failed to _quietly_ ruin Glynda's day," said Hohenheim, returning back to his systems. "In fact, they've destroyed the...elevator speakers?"

"Thank Oum!" exclaimed Red.

Belladonna's ears twitched. She had expected that outcome but it didn't mean she was _happy_ with it. For a chameleon, Ilia was horrible at keeping a low profile, which made no sense because she used to be _amazing_ at it. Belladonna supposed some people's skills just deteriorated over time.

Blake frowned, trying to piece two and two together.

"Then there's no reason for us to stay," said Belladonna, taking initiative. She slid into the pilot's seat. "Let's get going."

Red grinned. "You heard the faunus."

She flashed to the controls.

"Where are we going?" asked Ruby, walking up behind her.

Red absentmindedly flipped a few levers. " _We're_ going to Vacuo. On the way, we'll stop somewhere and get some new clothes so we don't die from the heat. You know Sun?"

"Blake's boyfriend?"

Red twirled her head in Ruby's direction. "They're _already dating?"_

That was when Ruby happened to remember that her older self was dating her sister's partner's older self. "Well-I mean-not _officially."_

"Right-okay, that makes a lot more sense." Blake wasn't one to suddenly be dating anyone...or at least it took _years_ for Red to make it official. She'd be pretty miffed if Sun had it easy and took a few months...then again, he probably deserved it...hm.

She slammed down on the pedal and they jerked up into the sky.

* * *

"You can't just kidnap me!" yelled Weiss indigitantly. She stomped around the aircraft, hands on her head. "This isn't even legal!"

Moon hummed. "I'm certain there's no rules for kidnapping yourself and trust me, I memorized the Atlas Rules Regulations...a truly horrid experience by the way. I know you're thinking about it, don't do it."

Weiss stopped and blinked. "Huh. I _was_ thinking about it. Wait- _you're distracting me."_

Moon coughed. "Did you know there's a law against wearing dust proof armor while committing a crime in Atlas?"

"...that's stupid. Why would someone commiting a crime worry about...committing another crime?"

"Exactly. I'm honestly intrigued by how that passed the Congress." Moon hummed. "Though perhaps they were just idiotic enough to let it pass. I wouldn't hold it against them, they _did_ make us fugitives…"

Weiss blinked. "...what?" She shook her head. "Again with the distractions!"

"I am bringing you to _get better_ at being a huntsman, at least be a little happy."

"Without my _team?"_

"Oh, so that's what it's about." Moon hid a smile.

There was a sudden bang on the door. Moon frowned. "Would you get that? If it's a Grimm, feel free to scrape it off...or with a human as well, I suppose."

"Ugh!" Weiss walked over and slid open the door with way more force than necessary.

"Woah!" Yang nearly fell off the edge of the airship. Weiss quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her in.

"What are you doing here?" asked Weiss incredulously, hiding her elation at not being alone with a crazy kidnapper who happened to be a possible future of herself (and she wasn't going to admit to herself that she was also happy it was _Yang)._

Yang put her hand on Weiss's shoulder to support herself. "Kinda...was aiming for...Ruby's ship, but hey...this works too...I guess," she breathed.

Weiss fought down a surge of disappointment.

Moon raised an eyebrow. "Hm...Dragon's going to be disappointed." But at leas _she_ was going to be very entertained.

* * *

Hohenheim scratched his head. "This actually works in my favor if I think about it…"

He looked at Jaune and Pyrrha from the corner of his eyes and grinned. "I love a good kidnapping situation."

Jaune frowned. "Huh?"

"I mean...I love a good rapping dalmation."

"...what?"

* * *

"There's a future Ilia?" asked Blake.

"I'd hope so," Belladonna remarked blithely.

"T-that's not what I meant. Future Ilia is _here?"_

"I know that's what you meant-"

"Then why-"

"For fun. Yes, future Ilia is here thanks to a mishap. We were _trying_ to get Nora, Ren, or Penny but...well, that obviously didn't work out."

"...talking to you is exhausting."

"I wouldn't think so, considering I know everything you're going to say. Maybe we should've interacted more."

"...and you took the words right out of my mouth."

* * *

 _With Iris and Dragon_

Iris beamed. "You guys better get to fixing that auditorium of yours."

A tick mark appeared on Glynda's forehead. "If you _must_ kidnap students, could you not attend to it without causing collateral damage as well?"

"No-"

Dragon grabbed Iris by the arm. "Okay, we're done here." To Iris, she whispered. " _Please_ try not to make any mortal enemies on the same side."

"That was only... _three or four_ times? And Ironwood is an _ass."_

"...he did give me my arm."

"Pffft. One nice thing does not equal one nice person."

Ozpin couldn't help but whistle at that. Glynda gave Dragon and Iris a glare.

"Okay, okay. We're leaving now."

"But if you need me for _anything at all,_ GlyndaIris singsonged.

" _No."_ Dragon forcibly dragged Iris out of the office, leaving a fuming Glynda.

"Impressive," said Ozpin, taking a sip of coffee.

* * *

Dragon blinked. "Where's Yang?"

"Next to me," said Iris, looking around the RWBY dorm.

"What-haha _haa..._ dammit, Iris."

Iris pouted. "I really wanted to meet 'young and innocent' Yang."

"Where did you hear that from?!"

"Hm...Belladonna?"

"BELLADONNA!"

"Well, she's obviously not here. Where else would Yang go?"

"I dunno."

"...um…"

"Do you know where Ilia would go?"

"Fair point. I'll call!"

" _No."_

"Too late." Iris held Dragon's scroll up to her ear.

"How-Iris!" Dragon rushed to grab Iris's scroll. Iris easily dodged and backed away.

"Hello? Is this Yang?" asked Iris, dodging Dragon again.

" _Who are you?"_

"Wow, Dragon, what happened to your _voice?"_

"Puberty." Dragon decided she didn't care anymore and roundhoused kicked at Iris. Iris skidded to the floor.

"Eh. Makes sense."

" _What?"_

"Hello Yang. I'm Iris, nice to meet you!"

" _Okay? I'm very confused right now. No, Weiss, it isn't Dragon. It's this lady named Iris? Did I get that right?"_

"You can also call me lady killer."

"Okay, let's ignore that," decided Iris. She jumped up just in time to avoid Dragon's foot. "Where are you?"

" _Why?"_

"Because Dragon and I need to find you...duh. Oh, and it's not a kidnapping, I promise. That's Nora's thing."

"Hohenheim doesn't do too much to discourage it too...hm…" Iris turned to Dragon, blocking a grab at her (really Dragon's) scroll. "Is it just me or does JNPR take a lot of missions with kidnapping in them?"

Dragon frowned. "They kidnapped a corrupt minister once, right? I remember because they came and stuffed him in Moon's closet."

"And you let them?"

"If the officials found himin our house, we would be in trouble too."

"Makes sense."

"Took weeks to get rid of the smell though."

Iris winced. "Yeah, that sort of thing happens."

" _What. You people are disturbed. Wait-Moon wants the scroll."_

Iris frowned. "You're with Moon-oh crap."

" _Ilia. Why are you on my fiance's scroll?"_

"...you're engaged now? Congratulations! When's the wedding?"

" _Unlike_ some _people, we take things slow."_

"I'm going to ignore that jab."

" _You do you. Yang somehow managed to attach herself to the airship, tell Dragon she's going with me on this one."_

"That sucks. I was hoping for Yang at least if I wasn't going to get to embarrass the life out of Blake." Iris sighed in disappointment.

" _Find someone else to annoy, you monster. Or maybe you can go annoy yourself."_

"Huh, that's actually a great idea! I wonder why it didn't pass my mind."

" _I already feel bad for her. Moon, signing out."_

Iris threw Dragon her scroll.

"So? Where is mini-me?"

"She hitched a ride with Moon."

...dammit, that sucks. What do I do now?! I had plans!"

"Really?" Iris raised an eyebrow. Plans didn't seem like Dragon's thing.

"Okay no, but I had ideas. I was going to take her on another field trip!"

"That's out the window...hey, wanna kidnap the rest of JNPR instead? We'll throw in my team as a bonus too."

Dragon frowned. "Hm...that means I'll have to deal with you until third marking period rolls around."

"Yup."

"Fuck it, let's go on a road trip."

* * *

"...where's Pyrrha?" asked Dragon. She stood at Team JNPR's doorway, in front of Ren-in-a-robe and Nora-balancing-books-on-her-nose (don't ask).

"She went with Jaune."

"Of course she did. _Of course she did."_ Who else istotally _not_ surprised?"

Ren (though reluctantly) and Nora (who probably didn't know what 'reluctant' meant) raised their hands.

* * *

Iris thought the best way to invite herself into Team NVIM's dorm was to crash through the window...obviously.

She _did not_ expect to be smashed against the wall by a burst of wind.

"...someone forgot to tell me something... _again._ 'Oh by the way, Ilia! We're actually facing _the Grimm Overlord herself, Salem,_ did we forget to mention that?'" Iris said sarcastically, turning purple in the process.

' _Who the hell is this?'_

Iris pushed herself off the floor and came face to face with Neo in one fluid motion. She raised an eyebrow. "Wow. You're almost identical ten-ish years from now."

Neo twitched. ' _Not another one.'_

Iris patted her head.

Neo swatted Iris's hand away.

"Hm...back to stage 1, I see." Iris shook her hand and clenched it.. "Or stage 1.5 since my hand is still attached to my arm. Kinda hard to measure with you."

Marron got out from his hiding spot under the bed. "Fight's over? Who's the purple lady?"

Iris frowned. "Oops. Forgot about the purple coloring." She turned back to peach.

Vernal stopped electrocuting throughout her body. Her hair poof out, strangely reminiscent of that of a fluffy sheep. Vernal scowled and rearranged her hair back to normal. By now, it had grown to her shoulders, a side effect of staying at Beacon and not having to worry about being killed by anything hair related. No, she had much more _immediate_ concerns than that, including but not limited to Neo, homework, Neo, terrorists (apparently), Neo, 'training' accidents, _Neo,_ and time travelers.

Ilia detached herself from the ceiling and turned from white to normal color.

Iris started circling Ilia, examining her. She poked Ilia's arm. "...all bone and no skin, eh?"

"Wha-" Ilia inched away. "Who-"

"I didn't expect you to grow up to be so...dark?" Vernal said with a tilted her head as Iris sported a slicked-back punk hair cut, black leather coat, leather pants, leather gloves and to finish the look, metal chains (which were surprisingly _not_ metal).

Iris shrugged. "Decided to live in Atlas's red district for a while...they rubbed off on me."

' _What the hell made you think that was a good idea?!'_ Neo asked incredulously.

Iris grinned. "You suggested it. After the war, it wasn't like I was going back to the White Fang and Winter payed a lot for an agent so…"

Marron looked a little sick. "Even I've heard of that place. The stories…" He shivered.

Iris raised an eyebrow. "And who are you?"

"Uh…" Marron stammered. "My name's Marron."

"Hm, an extra. Guess three doesn't make a team?"

Marron frowned. "...that was an insult wasn't it? I'm getting better at this."

Iris coughed. " _Anyways,_ pack your stuff! Team NVIM is going on a road trip!"

"W-what?" Ilia shook her head. "Wait-what's going on?"

"It's you from the future, duh," said Vernal. She figured that if she didn't comply to the road trip, she would be dragged into it anyways and started packing.

Neo had the same line of thought, but before she started, she gave Ilia a message:

' _Haven't you heard? Time-travelers multiply.'_

Ilia sputtered. "She can't be me! I mean, look at her!" She waved her hands in front of Iris, who in turn examined her fingernails.

"Well…it's nice to know what I'm dealing with." Iris smirked. "This will be fun."

* * *

"Hm...I don't think everyone can fit on your motorcycle, Dragon," said Iris, scrutinizing said high-tech vehicle on the side of the curb. "Where did you get this from anyways? Unless you just bring it around everywhere you go…that actually doesn't sound too far-fetched.

Neo facepalmed and began pacing in circles. Ren joined her.

"Huh? Oh, stole it from a warehouse in Mistral somewhere."

"Of course you did. Next time, bring me. I appreciate a good heist, unlike Belladonna and Moon.

"Great," Dragon patted Bumblebee 3.0. "Because I was planning on stealing a truck."

"Hey, we can give Bumblebee an Optimus Prime!"

"You're not allows to reference those *shudder* _movies_."

Iris held up her hands. "Okay, okay."

"Get on the damn motorcycle." Dragon slid onto Bumblebe _e._ "The comics were better," she muttered.

Iris got on the damn motorcycle.

"We'll be back in a few!" Dragon didn't bother waiting for her motorcycle to actually finish powering on to zoom off, leaving an impressive trail of dust in its wait.

Ilia coughed from the exposure. Nora slapped her on the back hard, sending her stumbling forward.

"T-thanks…?"

"No problem!" Then Nora turned to the ensemble of NVIM and _N_R, giving a wide smile.

Ren felt a shiver down his back.

"Who wants to play iron ball?"

* * *

"I expected this to be smoother!" admitted Iris, screaming over the wind to make sure Dragon heard her.

"It would've been if you'd just choose one truck and go," grumbled Dragon, gunning Bumblebee 3.0 and narrowly dodging a mass of bullets. She looked behind her to see a fresh entourage of AK-200s riding trucks. "But _no,_ it had to be the best, coolest, most expensive truck possible! We don't need one with a giant convertible refrigerator in its trailer!"

Iris swerved said best, coolest, most expensive truck to the side just in time to avoid a missile. A grin formed on her face.

"But Dragon, who doesn't like a little car chase action?!"

"Not when we're the criminals and not recognized as heroes for saving the world! Wait-you did this on purpose didn't you!?"

"...welp, nothing I can do about it now!"

Iris kicked open the door and then preceded to hang off it. She slid three black disk-like objects off her belt and threw them at the AK-200s. Blades unhinged as they sliced through the air and they wedged into the AK-200s' motorcycles. The disk-like objects began blinking purple.

"3...2...1…"

 _Boom!_ The motorcycles exploded. A mushroom effect followed, blowing out other motorcycles around them.

Iris smirked. "...literally."

"What is that?!" Dragon roared. "Are you trying to make this even less smooth than it already is?!" ...she said as she threw a burst of flames at another wave of AK-200s.

"You're one to talk, pyromaniac!"

" _I'm_ the pyromaniac?"

"Fine! We're both pyromaniacs!" Iris threw another set of disks, setting off another explosion.

They swerved onto a large, populated highway.

"...do we still set off explosions?" asked Iris.

"No," said Dragon. "People take our priority."

Iris pouted. "People take _your_ priority...but yes, higher ranking officer."

"Ugh, black ops." Dragon rolled her eyes. "Always so prissy."

"Actually, I haven't been kicked out of black ops only because they need my camoflauge." Iris grinned. "Pretty sure General Snow wants to desecrate my guts."

Two missiles streaked towards Dragon. Thinking quickly, Dragon flipped Bumblebee 3.0 into the air and jumped off. She rolled to the ground as the missiles exploded her motorcycle behind her.

Iris quickly swerved around the truck and stepped on the brakes. "You're driving!"

Dragon blinked. "What?" The flaming wrecks of Dragon's former vehicle crashed into the ground. Cars quickly swerved to avoid it and slammed into each other. Car alarms began wailing.

"Great," Dragon muttered. "I am _so_ dead."

Iris rolled her eyes and grabbed Dragon, throwing her into the driver's seat as she darted out. Iris flipped onto the roof of the truck and followed up with another flip onto the trailer. "Huh. Looks like the Atlesian Knights aren't following. Clean getaw-nevermind…" Iris looked up. "Ugh. I hate air support. They mess up everything even when they're on the same side as you!"

Dragon grumbled obscenities and slammed on the pedals. The truck burst down the highway.

Iris threw two sets of disks at the aircrafts. They connected and exploded, leaving even more debris on the highway.

" _Warning: Truck 192-932-238 pull over or we will begin using excessive force,"_ intoned an AK-200 over the speakers.

"Apparently we're so unimportant, no _person_ is here to declare war on us," Iris sulkily said. "I'm insulted."

She pointed a finger at the aircrafts. "That's a no, mindless robots! At least get a not-mindless robot for your announcement!"

" _Request: Denied."_

Iris grinned. "That's what I thought." She went to grab another set of disks and blinked. "Right...unlimited ammo isn't a thing in real life."

Iris spread out her hands and clenched down. Her disks zoomed towards her from the wreckages of former Atlas tech, which happened to be around the same time the the airborne AK-200s began firing. Iris rolled forward and slid down a pole attached to the back of the trailer. She caught her disks and immediatley flicked them into the air. She caught another set of disks between her knuckles. Iris looked up at the sound of propellers. A group of Atlesian Knights were boarding her trailer.

"What's going on?!" said Dragon. "I hear noises! Ugh, I hate being out of the loop!"

"Don't worry about it too much!" Iris jumped back onto the top of the trailer and grabbed an AK-200, throwing the robot overboard. She dodged an AK-200's sword, grabbed its arm, and sent it overboard to join its fellow deserter. "Just some robots on board! I'm counting around 6 now!"

"...eh," Dragon responded, unimpressed.

Iris diverted her attention toward some incoming aircrafts and flung her disks. She kicked an Atlesian Knight's head off its shoulders, then preceded to use it as a body shield against its fellow robots. She threw the body at the AK-200s as both a diversion and a game of bowling and charged. Unsheathing her sword/whip, Iris quickly cut down the two AK-200s that remained standing and preceded to slam her foot down on the head of the downed robot closest to her. She kicked another AK-200 off the trailer, sending it tumbling down the road and causing another car crash.

" _Iris!"_

"Heh. You're gonna forgive me right…" Iris dodged the final AK-200's poor attempt at whacking her with a gun and grabbed it. She hauled it to the front of the truck and swung it next to the driver's seat side window. "Now."

Dragon grabbed the Atlesian Knight's head and blew it up. "Grrrr…"

Iris blinked. "Woah, woah, woah! Beacon u-turn, Beacon, u-turn!"

"Wha-Crap!" Dragon veered the truck, sending it running through grass and onto Beacon's campus.

Iris retrieved all of her disks and attached them back onto her belt. The truck swerved in circles before coming to a screeching stop. Iris was thrown off the truck and onto the lawn. "Ugh…"

Dragon kicked open the front door and stumbled out of the truck. She threw up on the lawn.

"I didn't know you were the type of person who got carsick," said Iris drily, sitting up. "Explains why you're such a horrible driver though."

"Speak a word and I will kill you."

"Salutations!"

Iris frowned. "I don't remember inviting Penny."

Said orange haired robot walked over and tilted her head. "You already know my name? Aw… I was going to introduce myself!"

' _The weird girl invited herself into our game of iron ball,'_ stated Neo sporting a fresh black eye. She looked over at the now very battle scarred truck. ' _I see the robbery was a success.'_

Iris shrugged. "Success...eh. Fun? Yes."

"I don't want to know," decided Ren, walking towards them, followed by Nora twirling a giant ball made of iron on her ring finger.

Meanwhile, Dragon winced. "Oum, I hate ironball…"

"What is _that?"_ Vernal pointed at the tiny helicopter droids slowly descending from the sky.

"Jeez, they do not let up do they?" said Dragon.

"This is a concept vehicle, of course they're not letting up," Iris pointed out. "People love these collector's shit."

Ilia winced at the language.

"Uh...who are 'they'?" asked Marron nervously. "And why are 'they' coming at _us?"_

"Great questions!" exclaimed Dragon. "So get all of your asses into the trailer so we can leave and make Glynda deal with this mess...after we leave and she can't yell at us, of course."

"Way ahead of you." Iris flung open the doors and threw Ilia and Marron into the trailer.

"Wee!" Nora jumped in. Ren quickly followed to make sure she didn't somehow hurt herself.

' _I hate my life,'_ Neo wrote, following Vernal.

"Stop being so moody," grumbled Vernal. "Annoying piece of s-"

Neo sent a burst of air her way.

"Ooh, can I come? Can I come?" asked Penny. "Please, please, please?" She danced around Iris. "Please, please, please?"

Iris pushed her into the trailer and slammed closed the doors. She twitched. "If there's one thing I hate, it's people that are _unintentionally_ annoying."

"You're driving," said Dragon, throwing her the keys.

Iris jingled them. "Let's get this road trip started then…first thing's first, avoiding a swarm of droids!" She let loose a wide grin.

"And who's fault was that?!" Dragon exclaimed.

* * *

 **On Earth…**

Cinder slumped onto the rickety couch in the living room/bedroom/everything room because they were poor as dirt. "Ugh! I hate my stupid bodyguarding job!"

"Mmm...I thought you liked it," said Mercury, chewing on a Big Mac.

A tick mark appeared on Sienna's head. "Must you always be eating McDonald's? You _work_ at McDonald's!"

"I know right?" said Emerald. "Merc, your getting fat."

"Am not!" Mercury patted his stomach to find that yes, he was growing a nice pot belly (small at the moment). He pointed his Big Mac at Adam, who sat in the lotus position while facing the corner of the room. " _Anyways._ What's Mr. Moody's deal? He's been doing that the _whole week."_

"I have discovered the art of meditation...it's very calming."

"He speaks!" Torchwick exclaimed, appearing from the kitchen with steaming tofu.

"Really? tofu?" Emerald grumble. " _Again?"_

"With ginger!" added Torchwick.

Emerald wretched.

"It's a healthy source of protein that does not cause harm to any animals when produced," said Sienna. "And ginger is good for you."

"Listen to _me_ and don't get off topic, people!" Cinder yelled. "I am _complaining_ here and you all have the duty of _listening."_

Even Emerald didn't bother to grace a response to the formerly great madwoman. Everyone In the room has gotten used to Cinder's daily ranting by now, a sad side effect of being on Earth for quite nearly a month.

"I will assume you have all been awed by my voice," decided Cinder: "As I was saying-my bodyguarding job is _awful._ The stupid girl disappears half the time and sits around the other half! And I have to be there. All. The. Time! She isn't even a good conversationalist"

"Yes, I believe that is what a 'bodyguard' is," said Sienna drily. "And I'm pretty sure disappearing half the time means _you_ aren't doing your job half the time."

Adam grunted in agreement.

Cinder's fingers reached out in an attempt to find something to chuck at Sienna but only managed a pair of dirty jeans Torchwick had dumped on the floor. Suffice to say, she did not touch the piece of clothing.

"...I'll let you go this time. Emerald, you're coming with me tomorrow."

Emerald halted her steps towards the bathroom and backtracked back into the living room. "...what?"

"For moral support," said Cinder.

She was met with five disbelieving looks, even Adam, who had turned his head.

"Alright," Cinder admitted. "So I can take more breaks."

"Makes more sense."

"Disgusting."

"Calamity avoided."

 _*grunt*_

 _*breath of relief*_

"It's all in the favor of world domination!" Cinder exclaimed in a sad attempt to defend her own reasoning. "A brilliant mind such as mine needs those breaks to conjure brilliant plans!"

"Ahuh?"

"I find myself in doubt."

"Sure, sure."

 _*grunt*_

 _*sad glance*_

Emerald had to admit, she felt kind of bad for her former super idol and still technically savior (though that was rapidly fading from her mind).

"Yeah alright, I only have a late shift tomorrow anyways." Obligation announced, Emerald recommended her journey to the bathroom, this time sprinting.

"I don't get it," Cinder said to the remaining people in the living room. "Why isn't my dark, terrifying, commanding aura effective anymore?"

* * *

 **Omake: WAKE ME UP! (WAKE ME UP INSIDE!) CANT WAKE UP! (WAKE ME UP INSIDE!) SAVE ME!**

 **By: Darkness-Above**

"This is the life... For my sweet tooth that is!" Red exclaimed as she had another cookie from the endless jar of cookies! It really was heav- wait... Wait is that in the horizon?

"What the hell is that!?" Thank you Red for summing that up... No really!? What the hell is that!? The candy land was now tearing up by what appears to be... Ruby?

"Sweet Willy Wanka and the Chocolate Factory!" Red fearfully said as she was about to run, but got swallowed by her younger self... Red then opened her eyes and realized that she was still alive! But where was she? She notice that she was at the complem- I mean, Professor Port's Class.

Red sighed to herself, only realized that she fell asleep to Professor... Port's... Boasting... What the hell was she on!? Red with beedy little eyes to see that fucking SALEM was teaching the Class!

"Hello Class, and welcome to Grimm Studies." Salem politely as Red was now about to lose her soul. "Now, today's lesson is that all silver gri-" a thud was made as Red fainted from shock.

Red, now fully awake from her nightmares, looked around to see that she was now on her bed! She sighed and looked around... Why was that she can only see in black and white? She looked around a little bit, before making a face at an oddly skeleton in a jacket.

"W-Who are you?" Red nervously as the skeleton.

"SSSSSAAAAAAANNNNNNEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!" The skeleton earaped as Red red confusingly on what he had said.

"Who?" Red, now witting out from the skeleton.

"Do YoU WAnT TO hAvE A bAD ToM!?" Sanes asked as Red was now shitting her pants.

"N-No, let me out of this..." She couldn't even finish her sentence as a Tom head was floating in front of her, and blast her with NOSE LAZER!

"So, when do you want to stop?" Moon asked Hohenheim as Red was pacing around in her sleep with headphones on.

"When she starts to learn that she can't take all the cookies from the cookie jar!" Hohenheim shouted as he made his way to the door.

"Drama Queen." Moon drily said as she just silently, deviously smiled as she watch Red from her sleep.

"No... Dragon... Help..." Red said in her sleep.

* * *

 **Omake: Cardinal Sins**

 **By: The Wizardous Magicman**

"Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, boss?"

"No, we are _not_ there yet, Russ, and I WILL kick you out of this car if you ask again. I went ON this drive to get away from constant bitching, not because I enjoyed it!" Cardin replied

"Hey, hey, lay off him, would ya, man? The boy's just been a little...*long inhale* agitated *large exhale of smoke* due to his newfound-and pricey-hobbies replied

"Agitated? AGITATED?! I'm supposed to have this car back to dad and Jade by tomorrow, -without- it smelling like my failure of a cousin, and THEN I've also gotta convince my girlfriend that I'm vigilant to my diet, and that I care about her feelings and shit, and that I'm not trying to get close to her way hotter friend. Which, by the way, I already scored, so there's no problem with that-I haggled her down to 600 Lien, and lasted two minutes, fellas! Up top!"

"Woo!"

"Nice, man."

"Hurhurhur. You am make sexy time."

"I would say you should've laid off the *ahem*'smelling salts', Dove, but I think I prefer you now. You're much more suited to a servantile role. You're just lacking the animal ears."

-In the clouds, because static, or divinity, why not-

"I heard that, too, Cardin" Velvet said, sharpening her holographic flamberge. "Yeah, now they're permanent. You like her?" She flicks it, turning it into a squad of flying crescents, and picks her teeth with one.

She stretches out her back. Cardin gains a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

-in a second floor room, with white walls-

"You want me beat him up?" the man said, curling his weight

"Nah, someone else will. Probably Jaune. He'll accuse you of being a furry."

"That's fair. Can I just say I'm indifferent?" He replied, setting his weight down.

"Unfortunately not, people don't really get that. Anyways, you should continue with the story. Or omake, or whatever."

"Can I just mention how I initially put Unforgettable instead, thanks to the Steamed Hams debacle?"

"Story, please. I'm getting camera? Shy."

-back in Cardin's dad's girlfriend's car, which grants 2 to Stealth in urban fringes, but disadvantage to Con, and Stealth rolls versus security-

"Yes! Like I said, much like a filthy faunus, you deserve to serve beneath my heel."

"Hah! Hahhah! Boss, real good boss!..."

"Excellent. And may I say that between your recent fashion choice and your spending habits, you have become so much more excitable! I like it! Oh, but by the way, change cologne, you smell like cat pee."

"...Well, boss, I'm not wearing cologne, but with all these comments about us, are you sure you're not gay?" Russel hurriedly responded

"Hah, gay! And deprive the ladies of all three of these inches? No way! Just the more ladies, the merrier, that's all! And preferably those Vacuan babes, they are sweeeeet mammajamma! I especially like it when they put up a fight. The key, men, is to be persistent and always give affirmative-leading answers, not let her say no. At least, that's what I heard on the internet, and it's worked so far!"

"I-I dunno boss, you ever just wanted to find a nice emo girl, take her to an underpass, and go to town on one another with knives?"

"You're weird, Russ" Cardin responded

"Nah, I can get behind you, man. Any hole's a goal!" Sky added.

"If that's your response, I don't want you behi-actually, I'm not doing much these days, might as well try it."

"Okaaay. You guys do whatever you want, but preferably outside, I don't wanna hear you while I'm taking a crap. We'll reconvene in 10, we've been outside the AFSchneecken for 5 minutes and I'm not getting it towed."

* * *

 **A/N: *Phew* this was a long time coming guys~Really,** _ **really**_ **sorry about the delay. Testing season came up in school and, well,** _ **testing.**_

 **I think I'll keep the OC thing open, but the submissions will probably only be cameos. And REMEMBER: THEY MUST BE THE PICTURESQUE OF 'NORMAL'.**

 **Beta'd by my brother.**

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Dev the snake faunus: Gotta finally post this chp. No time for omakes this time, next time though (jeez that's a lotta times). Also, by faunus that means they're people with dinosaur features? (god, that's wicked).**

 **JackTheSpades: I hear ya. I think I'll try to go for an even split in content because other people do enjoy the villains and it's fun to write but you've got a point there. As for Future Ilia, for characterization on these characters we don't actually know, I just kinda go with 'she/he is crazy in a way'.**

 **HJSDGCE: oh gods...I need to do that...I need to do that SOON.**

 **IDRF: Thank you for all your support, really! It's what I need to get my lazy bum off my bed (and I already have a problem with sleeping in really REALLY late so yeah) and I hope I don't disappoint in the future.**

 **DeadLyokoBrony: Yes, yes Cinder is. Did I ever tell you how fun it is to write characters in despair? (I'M NOT CRAZY!) As for Zach, He's a little too outlandish for the 'despairing criminals in normal normal' theme I have going on so I would like to 'nerf' him a little. Maybe take away the world famous thief thing and leave a really unlucky guy?**

 **Darkness-Above: I'd actually like to hear more about SummerxQrow even if I don't ship or believe in it-like, why is it so appealing from a studying stand point? (and I gotta admit, it is sweet) and I like to think of myself as someone who respects other people's opinions so you do you man. (Also, the omake rocks and if you didn't want it posted on my thing, just tell me).**

 **merendinoemilliano: you shall see with Amber. Hummingbird is still not my thing, though I gotta wonder where you got the ship name from cause it's not the one on the godly RWBY shipping chart (srsly godly) and I have to admit, it is a very cute ship. Can't wait to write more Emil for the future!**

 **The Wizardous Magicman: Yes, yes it did.**

 **Bell Awesome: nope. I'd rather avoid getting striked by the 'no real people' policy we have here on for some reason. And Kecleon hm…? You've made me think of something! For the giggles! There will be more interactions with the OCs soon...gotta get through the exposition first!**

 **Guest: Hm...would it be possible for me to only use the caretaker part of her? As it is, I think the humor would be in the fact that the RWBY villains are being normalized by the day, like worrying about subway tickets and rent taxes and the like.**

 **Xyander64: Iris just started a car chase for the fun of it. Suffice to say, she has a** _ **few**_ **screws loose thanks to her upbringing. And godammit, now I need to add that scene somehow! (Poor villains are so** _ **poor**_ **they can't afford a computer…). And yeah, Devil is a Part-Timer is one of my all time favourites so you can see the inspiration filtering thrpugh.**

 **Anonymous: Hn. A sadly necessary waste of a character.**

* * *

 **If you need me, I'm ArosCao_ARC on Twitter!**

 **Review, Favourite, and Follow to show that you enjoy!**


	27. The Future Versions of Your Favourite

**Chp XXV: The Future Versions of Your Favourite Huntsmen are Unreliable**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY…...is this even necessary?**

" **Ever a time when you get reinvested into an old series?" ~ ARC**

* * *

Vacuo - With Red and Ruby

"In hindsight," said Red. "Maybe Vacuo wasn't the best place to take a fifteen year old."

She frowned. "Or maybe I'm just taking her to all the wrong places."

On cue, Red entered a shabby old bar located on a road that was basically screaming 'red light district' with its... _less than savory_ shops. Ruby practically stumbled in. She was still wearing a corset, a dress, leggings, boots, an ammo belt, Crescent Rose, and her cape, so it was understandable why she acted like a zombie.

"Why is it so _hot_ around here?!" Ruby exclaimed. "Where's the air conditioner?!"

Red sat down at the counter and signaled for the bartender. She glanced at Ruby. "Lose some of the gear. Trust me and logic, it works!"

With some effort and grunting, Ruby pulled herself up on a stool. She immediately sagged into the counter and became the equivalent of a blobfish. "But I don't wanna be naked…"

Red frowned. " _I'm_ not naked."

No, she was just wearing what basically amounted to a bra, underwear, her cape and... her Crescent Rose had somehow seemingly managed to disappear.

"I'm embarrassed," Ruby said plainly.

"Well, it's not like it's _your_ -...nevermind." Red frowned, realizing her mistake. "Right. Time-travel logic…"

The bartender happened to overhear her words and raised an eyebrow. Red couldn't help a snicker as she thought of all the ways she could freak people out during her time in this timeline.

...that didn't sound right.

Red decided to spare the bartender a speech about proper time-travel shenanigans and instead ordered water and whine.

"Whms de pwan?" Ruby asked, but whatever she meant to say came off as impossible to decipher considering that she had face-planted into the table.

Red stifled giggles threatening to emerge from her mouth. "Jeez, maybe I should've expected this considering how badly _my_ first time went."

Ruby managed to perk up for that. "I wanna know more! Did you have cool adventures in Vacuo when you were saving the world and stuff? You haven't told us anything...none of you have, really."

"Well, we do have our reasons, y'know," said Red, her one visible eye going cloudy for a second. She shook her head and raised a hand, ruffling Ruby's hair. Red grinned. "I wouldn't say we had any _cool_ adventures, more _hot_ adventures."

"Reddddd," Ruby whined.

"Yeah, okay, okay," said Red. "That was Yang bad. But seriously, we were running for our lives from an army of Grimm, a evil mad scientist, and the Atlesian military all at once...so I guess it was _cool_ if you-"

Red was stopped short by the appearance of the most adorable awed puppy dog eyes she'd ever seen, and from her younger self no less.

"...and now I know why I usually got what I wanted as a little kid," Red muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"Keep all of your eyes, kid," Red said, completely deadpanned.

"Yes, ma'am! I wanna anyways!"

Red coughed. "So yeah, running from things like usual...we were just in Atlas _in the middle of winter_ , so suddenly landing on Vacuo was even worse." Red laughed. "Heck, we were still wearing our winter gear!"

The bartender served their drinks. Ruby quickly grabbed one and took a huge gulp.

"Wait-" Ruby gagged. "This isn't water!"

Red took the drink from her hand. "No, it's vodka."

"It's disgusting!"

"Your tastebuds will grow into it," promised Red. She handed Ruby the other drink. "Here, take the _not_ -vodka."

"T-thanks…" Ruby couldn't resist wiping her tongue with her hands. "Ugh…"

She took an experimental sip of the new drink. "Aw...it's not cold."

"It's Vacuo," Red said by way of explanation.

"So you guys went to Atlas before Vacuo?" asked Ruby with stars in her eyes. "Did you travel the whole world or something?"

Red shrugged. "Eh, basically. We're always being attacked someone, someplace."

She grinned. "Hey, I'm calling that sometime during this field trip, someone's gonna want to kill us!"

Ruby blinked. "Sounds...like a safe bet?"

But we kinda missed all the good tourist attractions. I guess you can count Weiss's house though."

Ruby blinked. "Weiss's house?"

"Before it went ka-blooey and Weiss-or Moon rebuilt into something less grandeur and when I say _less,_ I mean it like, a tiny bit and with a lot more color." Red snorted. "Not that _that_ would be a hard thing to accomplish.

"Guh...now I kinda wanna see it."

"I'm sure Weiss and Moon will be paying a visit."

* * *

"What. Did. You. _Do?!"_ Weiss screamed.

Moon hummed. "Oh, just a little redecorating."

Yang was too preoccupied with how unbelievably fancy the Schnee Residence was to really listen to the two Schnees. "And I _live_ here in the future?" she realized, a little dazed. "The freaking table on the side of the hallway looks like it's worth thousands!"

"$7,325 to be exact," said Moon. "But no, you don't live here. The mansion was blown up."

"Oh."

Weiss fell onto her bed. "This is too much to process…"

"I think it looks good," Moon remarked breezily.

"You can't just redecorate my room with penguins and-and are those magical girl posters?!"

Yang snickered.

Weiss turned red.

* * *

Ruby easily finished her glass of water and set it down on the table. She sighed. "That felt good." Ruby looked at Red. "Um...so why are we here again?"

Red put on a smug face. " _We_ are going to take the Relic of Destruction from a heavily armed, _super_ boobytrapped vault-

Red froze.

"Uh, Red…?" asked Ruby.

"SHIT!" Red chugged down her alcohol. She slammed a fist into the counter, shaking it. " _We_ _forgot the Summer Maiden._ How is that even possible?!"

"Um…" Ruby nervously looked around. They had, to be expected, garnered the attention of practically everyone in the bar. Not that it was hard considering how bare the bar was anyways. "What does the Summer Maiden have to do with anything?"

"Oh, Neo's only the _key_ to the vault!" Red face planted into the table. "How did I _forget?!_ How did _we_ forget?!"

"Uh...yeah, sounds like a problem," decided Ruby.

"I mean, Belladonna is usually on top of things like this!"

* * *

"..."

"..." Blake suddenly felt the temperature in the aircraft drop by 30 degrees. "Is something wrong?"

Belladonna's hands gripped onto the controls until they were literally shaking and very, very pale.

"Belladonna?"

"... _we need to turn back right now,"_ Belladonna said frigidly.

"...why?"

"I-I can't believe this…" Forget her hands, Belladonna herself had turned completely white.

"Uh…" At this point, Blake was getting kind of scared.

"I expect even _Moon_ to make such a major miscalculation but not _me."_

"Mistake?"

"We forgot the maidens, who happen to be the only way to open the vaults to the relics which were the entire point of going on our field trips to every kingdom on Remnant," droned Belladonna.

"...that doesn't sound good," Blake noted.

"I must be losing my edge… _I can't,_ " Belladonna decided with determination.

"Um...I agree?" Well, Blake didn't think she had much of a choice, all things considering.

" _Or…"_ Belladonna sniffed. "Change of plans for the change of plans. We're taking quick a detour to a bandit tribe. Hold on."

"Hold o-"

Before Blake could finish her sentence, she was propelled back into her seat as Belladonna forced the aircraft into a speed much higher than airway regulations allowed for (not that she was one for regulations much anyways).

* * *

"Okay, okay," said Red. "I can't blame Belladonna, even if the idiot will probably blame herself. We just...need to find a new solution!"

"Like…?" wondered Ruby.

"Well, that's easy," Red dismissed. "We'll try everything on the vault until something works."

"Um…"

"Some silver eyes usually works on anything magicky too, hm. "

That peeked Ruby's interest. "Silver eyes?"

Red jolted. "Yeah, no. You're not touching any of that stuff."

Ruby pouted. "Why not? It sounds so cool!"

" _It's not, end of discussion."_

Ruby leaned back a little at the suddenly sharp tone to Red's voice. "Okay," she squeaked.

"Now," Red said, getting up from her chair. "We're going to ransack Shade Academy!"

Ruby blinked at Red's sudden heel turn. Then she processed Red's words. "Ehyyyyh?!"

* * *

Marron flopped onto sweat old _soil._ "Finally...we lost them."

Team Iris, dubbed by Iris ("hey, if Ruby and Sun can have teams named after them, why can't I?"), had stopped for the day in the middle of the woods.

"Don't count your lucky stars yet," said Iris, leaning on their very expensive escape vehicle. "Our truck is one of a kind," she explained proudly. "Which makes it incredibly easy to track down and locate!"

"Arrghhhh!" Marron stuffed his face into the dirt.

Neo nudged her underling with her foot. She gained no reaction. ' _Yeah, he's not going to be okay.'_

"Well, you can't blame him!" Vernal exclaimed. She paced in circles around everyone (plus the truck...and the trees). "We've been escaping the grasps of Atlas military for the last _three days!"_

She stopped by Ilia and placed her hands on the chameleon faunus's shoulders. Vernal preceded to shake her for all she's worth. "Why does the future version of you-quiet and nearly invisible 99% of the time _you-_ take such high maintenance?!"

"Id-don'tknow-w!" Ilia managed.

Iris nonchalantly made and popped a bubble with some gum she had randomly gotten somewhere.

Vernal hung her head, defeated. She swatted away some annoying insects bothering her.

The truck's back doors flung open, revealing Dragon in all her glory...with a screwdriver. She wiped some dark mush off her face. "Yup, I think I finally broke the radio!"

Ren dropped out of the truck. He wheezed uncontrollably wheezed on the ground.

Nora appeared and peered down at her boyfriend/accidental whipping boy. She pointed her hammer at him, declaring:

"I think Ren is broken!"

She preceded to hiccup and fall on her hammer.

"Woah," Iris said. She raised an interested eyebrow. "What is in that radio? Because I want some!"

Dragon narrowed her eyes. She waves her screwdriver. "Nope, no way. You're not getting any of that mystery mush. We don't need another poisoning episode."

Ilia turned pale. " _Poisoning_ episode?"

' _Ironic!_ ' Neo wrote. She frowned. ' _Get it? Because she's her?'_

"For science!" Iris said. "Jau-ugh, _Hohenheim,_ wanted me to test out some of that new goop he cooked-"

"...he literally gave you instructions to test it out on _animals._ It was in the directions! And I _checked,_ that menu was _only_ one page long _and_ in size 14 Arial Font!"

Iris sighed. "Look, instructions? Let's face it, everyone skims through them."

Neo wrote and held up: ' _True.'_

She received a critical glare from Vernal.

Dragon sighed into her hands. "Okay...radio's dead. The hope is that it's going to stop people from finding us."

On cue, a red portal zapped into existence behind Vernal.

"That doesn't count," Dragon declared. She frowned. "Wait, portal?"

Vernal's instincts kick in. She jumped…and was promptly grabbed by a hand that appeared from the portal and pulled in. "Gahhh!"

Neo held up her scroll, completely straight-faced. ' _Yay.'_

The portal disappeared.

"Wha- _MOTHER!"_ screamed Dragon. She pointed an accusatory finger at the space where the portal once was.

"Mommy issues," whistled Iris. Her eyes shifted. "Heh. At least I'll never deal with any of that. Both my parents are dead and eh-probably in a million pieces."

Marron stared at her.

"Dead parent jokes," explained Iris drily.

Marron promptly took a step away from Iris.

The portal suddenly reappeared.

"MO-Belladonna?"

Dragon frowned for Belladonna had appeared from the portal.

"Hello, Dragon," said Belladonna quickly. She straightened out her uniform. "Right. I didn't want to worry anyone so here's the memo. I'll be taking Vernal for a little while, she _is_ the Spring Maiden-"

"Ohhhhh!" Dragon punched a fist into her hand. "How the fuck did we forget the maidens?"

' _Um,'_ wrote Neo.

Belladonna continued. "Dragon, you're finally leading _a team."_

"I know right?"

"...so don't mess it up."

"Blrrgh," garbled Dragon.

"Iris." Belladonna sighed. "Just...try to be on your best behavior."

Iris gave Belladonna the victory sign for whatever reason. "No can do!"

Belladonna pinched her nose. "I remember when you would follow me around like a clingy, homeless puppy…. I can't believe those were the good old days."

Ilia couldn't help but shift uncomfortably.

"If Red shows up, tell her I'm sorry!"

Belladonna disappeared back in the portal. The portal quickly zapped out of existence.

"...she's still hot," Iris mused dreamily.

(A few beats of silence...Ilia cringed.)

"What?"

Dragon facepalmed.

* * *

"...I hate time-travelers," declared Raven. She slashed her sword and her portal zapped out of existence.

"I can't thank you enough, er...Ms. Branwen," Belladonna said formally.

In the background, Blake awkwardly shuffled her feet. She secretly decided that she was glad for her nice, practically _normal_ parents (they were only former leaders of what would become the most notorious terrorist organization in modern history, after all)...then she realized that last time she saw them, she _kind of_ yelled at them and ran away. ...well, crap.

Vernal was still in vertigo. On the one hand, she was glad to be back (not really) and there was no Neo, but on the other, she was pretty sure this counted as a kidnapping, which was ironic because _she had already been kidnapped._ Which would make this a _kidnapping during a kidnapping_ and Vernal didn't think being kidnapped twice in a row was very good on her record. Oh, and she was also pretty sure the cat ladies wanted her for her maiden powers...which she happen to be very sensitive about.o

"I did what you asked," said Raven. "Now care to explain to me what you're going to be doing?"

Belladonna vaguely remembered someone telling her that Raven had joined Salem's forces for the grand total of a few days and conducted a ridiculous scheme of Vernal being the Spring Maiden when it turned out _Raven_ was the Spring Maiden. (Apparently Vernal _was_ the Spring Maiden, until Cinder murdered her and Raven somehow took her place...Admittedly the greater of two evils).

It seemed overly complicated to Belladonna.

Dragon said Raven was probably trying to make everything seem like her plan. Understandable, Raven _does_ have a bloated ego.

Like mother, like daughter. At least Dragon was self-aware.

Belladonna answered Raven. "We're visiting Menagerie."

Blake paused and blinked. "Huh?"

Vernal frowned. "Menagerie? Isn't that where the faunus were exiled to?" she asked. Then she remembered her current company. "Urr. I take that back?"

Belladonna ignored her. Blake silently fumed…she had recently found out the definition of 'menagerie' in a dictionary (but seriously, were the humans _not expecting a faunus to happen upon a dictionary?!)_.

It was still a sore spot.

Raven was unimpressed. "And why do you need my former second-in-command-"

"Former?" Vernal squeaked.

"-to go to Menagerie?"

"We don't," said Belladonna dully. "We _do_ need her for Haven."

Vernal blinked.

"Haven," Raven repeated. "Of course." She coughed.

Belladonna gave her a deadpan look. "Right. I'll make sure to tell Dragon that her tribe is doing fine and now we'll be leaving."

Raven twitched. "Wait-"

Belladonna was somehow already at her (...the SDC's) aircraft already. She turned to look at Raven. "Yes?"

"...keep Vernal in one piece or else…" Raven frowned as she realized she couldn't exactly do anything to Belladonna. She was pretty sure that even if she could hurt Belladonna (and considering that Belladonna was Dragon's partner and probably had a hand in defeating _Salem_...unlikely), Dragon would probably take offense and Raven happened to like her limbs and her sanity. "...or else there will be _problems."_

Belladonna stared. "...sure."

Meanwhile, Vernal practically skipped to the aircraft. _She does care! She cares!_ Blake watched her go by, unimpressed and sad for the bandit at the same time. She trudged after Vernal.

As the aircraft took off, Raven had to make one more grievance.

"And remind Dragon that she's being irresponsible and ignoring her duties! Second-in-commands _don't_ rule the tribe!" Raven screamed over the wind.

"...can Yang even be responsible?" asked Blake. She looked at Belladonna for an answer. She received a faraway look.

"Yes. When she needs to."

"Hn?"

Belladonna didn't bother to respond, as she often likes to do, and kicked the aircraft into high gear. They zoomed off.

Raven ran a hand through her hair. "Grrr…

Needless to say, she wasn't happy with the dirt and dust that had kicked up as a result of the aircraft turbines.

She locked eyes on her, she considers them _her,_ bandits, who had mostly stopped what they were doing to watch their tribe's former leader submit to a verbal slaughter by their mostly absent current leader's faunus partner.

"Well? What are you doing? Get back to work!"

"Um…" a bandit raised her hand. "What are we supposed to be doing? ...it's not like we have anything to prepare for."

Sadly, the bandit's statement was true. By bandit law (why they even _had_ laws and traditions was beyond Raven), Raven couldn't do much but keep the tribe in one piece.

"I don't know!" exclaimed Raven, frustrated. "Clean this place up, hunt for food, give me my mask!"

A bandit handed her her mask. Raven's reputation was still good enough that no one was willing to challenge her authority (and she was glad for it). But...she had ordered for her mask on accident and it wasn't like she was going to wear it _in her own tent._ That would be stupid.

Essentially, the bandit had just went into her tent, grabbed her mask, and gave it to her, only for Raven to go back into her tent and put down her mask.

She needed some dark, _dark_ tea.

Raven entered her tent, put down her mask, and grabbed a teapot.

"Honestly," she grumbled. "Shrinking from responsibilities, just like Summer."

Raven angrily stirred her tea. "I _knew_ she would be a bad influence"

* * *

"I-I am confused...and concerned," admitted Pyrrha even though she had every right to say so. "W-why are we scaling a giant snow mountain with a Grimm population that would likely rival that of Mt. Glenn's?" Pyrrha shivered. She had taken to holding her sash close to her body. At least Hohenheim had bothered to give them cloaks for the journey.

 _Take these,_ he had said, throwing two cloaks at Pyrrha and Jaune.

 _Why do we need these?_ Jaune had said, pulling his cloak off his head.

Then Hohenheim had grinned and Pyrrha had felt a shiver down her back. _Oh trust me, you're gonna need a lot more than that,_ he said as he zipped up a winter coat.

Subsequently, Pyrrha had felt the need to warn him that zipping up a winter coat while driving was not a very smart idea. And of course, Hohenheim ignored her.

Pyrrha was starting to wonder what the man's problem with her was. He seemed to go out of his way to ignore her or avoid her or put her through some type of 'training' that was quite frankly, more harmful than good.

For example, the mountain that they were currently climbing and battling against the viscous forces of snow and wind, and as a lovely added bonus, Grimm.

Pyrrha's boots were more than soaked by this point.

On the bright side, at least Hohenheim wasn't intent to let Grimm kill his underlings and was taking an active stance against them. He nonchalantly slashed through a horde of Nevermores.

Pyrrha still had trouble processing Hohenheim and Jaune as _one and the same._ And maybe she didn't really want to. She was pretty sure Hohenheim didn't like her very much.

"To bluntly answer your question!" Hohenheim called back to her from his position a few yards ahead. "We have the amazing job of retrieving the WInter Maiden for Team MOON!"

Behind her, Jaune screamed: "The what for the who?!"

"The super magical ice lady for Moon-" Hohenheim shrugged. "Who I guess is still salty about not becoming team leader and not having a team named after her."

"But MOON doesn't make any sense?" Pyrrha could hear Jaune's teeth clatter even as he pointed out the obvious. H-how do you e-even get M-O-O-N o-out of M, W, D, S, or X?"

Jaune was clearly having a difficult time dealing with the cold. He was beginning to stumble and lag behind. Pyrrha hoped he didn't get frostbites.

"She might pretend to be a logical, stone cold bitch, but it was never really her thing!" Hohenheim pulled out a gatling gun from _somewhere_ and began shooting down Grimm. Pyrrha could only describe the sight as ' _a bloody bloodbath'_. "She's the one who escaped her own manor just so she could have a chance at finding her sister somewhere on a freaking _continent."_

...that did sound illogical.

Hohenheim threw his lightsab-er... _Crocea Mors_ at a particularly rowdy group of Beowulf. Against all logic, it slashed through the bear-like Grimm like pudding and zoomed straight back into Hohenheim's hands.

"Gah!"

"Jaune!" Pyrrha spun around and raced towards her team leader-who was being attacked by a particularly ravenous group of nevermores. She extended her lance and threw it at the horde. The weapon scattered the nevermores, which Jaune took full advantage of as he unsheathed his own Crocea Mors. He moved forward and slashed in a circular motion. The nevermores burst into smoke.

Jaune huffed. "Phew~Thought I was a gon-"

A griffon suddenly appeared behind Jaune. It grabbed him and flew off before Pyrrha could even begin to process the course of events. She blinked at where Jaune was only seconds before.

"H-huh?"

Hohenheim had sensed the griffon seconds before, but he was too far away and too preoccupied to do much. He looked up at the fading Griffon.

"Well...whoops."

Pyrrha snapped her head in his direction. " _Whoops?"_

"Hm...either I overestimated my own abilities, Pyrrha's abilities, or his abilities…" Hohenheim shrugged. "Doesn't matter anyways! Jaune's gone!"

"Whoops?" Pyrrha repeated, dazed.

"Yes, whoops," said Hohenheim. He slid down the mountain, grabbing Pyrrha along the way. "And I would rather not deal with his death so let's make his rescue fast."

" _Whoops?!"_ Pyrrha exclaimed incredulously

Hohenheim ignored her.

* * *

"My hair _is_ naturally green," said Emerald coldly.

"That's impossible."

Emerald's eye twitched.

Cinder pulled her away. " _Emerald,"_ she implored sweetly in that threatenly tone she took whenever she was about to dose some unlucky soul in fire. " _Please,_ do not argue with the person I'm bodyguarding and, coincidently, whose parents are where my paychecks are coming from."

And alas, it was the sad truth that the former criminal mastermind and underling of Salem herself was now relying on _paychecks_ to get by.

Emerald was pretty sure that Cinder couldn't do much to harm her now except maybe taking away her bathroom rights. Ah well, those were important too.

She sighed. "Yes, Cinder."

Cinder released her grip on Emerald and serenely looked at Sapphire Goedrick, daughter of billionaire Frederick Goedrick, and by that right, a billionaire herself (the lucky bastard, Cinder seethed, getting all the money just because her daddy's rich) and almost-victim of Emerald's thieving.

"Excuse us," said Cinder, her tone so uncharacteristically sweet that Emerald cringes. "We were simply going over the code of conduct here!"

Here being the Goedrick Vacation Mansion (and lord, Cinder would kill-she _has_ killed-for mansions the size of this _vacation_ mansion, it just so happened that Cinder wasn't in prime condition to murder someone and get away with it at the moment.

Maybe when she has her own bodyguards and helicopters.

Sapphire sniffed and turned her attention back to her phone. "I don't care."

" _Teenagers_ ," seethed Emerald.

Cinder frowned. "Aren't you a teenager?" Last time she checked anyways.

"Earth's teenagers," Emerald clarified.

* * *

Torchwick weeped long and hard...for he had employed himself into the most atrocious service possible. And on accident at that.

Yes, he somehow found himself working in an orphanage.

"Wait-kid, blondie! Get back over here!" The former master thief scrambled across the room in an attempt to grab a child that was clearly trying to escape into the hallway.

 _Damn, how are they such pains in the ass?! I think I like the teenagers with giant, dangerous weapons better than these rascals!_

Torchwick managed to take the kid by the hoodie and dragged him back into the playroom.

He wiped his brows. " _Phew_."

"I hate this job," he muttered scathingly as little children caused chaos around him. He got hit by a pillow for his troubles.

" _Ahem."_

"Ms. Brigs!" The scary lady who was _deceptively_ short, Torchwick might add, also known as Ysilda Brigs and his latest boss. Alas, it seemed Torchwick had somehow been afflicted with a curse of scary women employers.

"Hm...I think a reminder that someone with no history such of yourself can't possibly land many jobs is in order," Ysolda said sweetly.

Torchwick was pretty sure saying that a reminder was in order was _already a reminder._ And for her information, Torchwick already had another job.

It just happened to be unsustainable and he wanted to afford to pay off his debt on his _phone,_ dammit! Good lord, Earth's technology was simply archaic. What sort of portable device only has 256 GB? Apparently the iPhone X, and it was supposed to be top of the line. Pfffft.

"Aww...are all my darlings enjoying their playtime?" Ysolda said, a picturesque angel smile plastered on her face.

"Yes, Mother Ysolda," chorused the children.

Torchwick swore this woman had split-personality disorder or something.

And it was hell.

* * *

"Still cosplaying, huh," said Rey. She yawned. Bouncer duty was tedious and very, _very_ boring on slow nights like Tuesdays. Rey hated Tuesdays.

"It is not a ' _cosplay'."_ Adam sniffed indigitantly.

"Y'know, insecurities about what you like isn't healthy."

Insecurities were the least of Adam's worries. "..."

Rey scratched her head. "Whoa, whoa...I just got you talking a few weeks ago. Don't got all silent on me again!"

"...then stop spouting such ridiculous claims."

It sucked, but even Adam found it difficult to stay silent next to a human he saw eight hours of the day, every day.

It was also admittedly quite hard justifying his silence when he was literally one of two faunus in an universe where faunus didn't even exist.

"Alright, Mr. Mood. Whatever keeps you happy and not the trigger-happy kind." Rey had found out first-hand that her partner was a little _too_ into venting out pent up anger through violence.

Must of had a shady background or something.

Like Batman.

"Say, wanna get a drink after our shift is over? On me."

Rey had asked this question every day for a while now. She was always turned down.

"...fine."

Rey nearly fell, which was quite sad considering that she was leaning on a pillar. "Uh, what?"

"Don't make me repeat myself," Adam growled. A red tinge colored his cheeks.

"Y-yes sir!"

It was a routine question. She didn't expect him to _actually_ say yes!

* * *

"Sienna Khan," greeted Zach, one of Sienna's coworkers, as she entered the Best Buy. "I believe your shift doesn't begin until later today. If I must remind you-"

"Yes, yes, I know," said Sienna, rolling her eyes. "I can't take other people's shifts."

Well, it had been worth a try.

"What brings you to your local Best Buy then?"

Sienna walked up to Zach's counter. "Well-that is, errrr…

"How, pray tell, do you receive service on a mobile device? ...or any device for that matter?" Torchwick owed her big time.

Zach frowned. "What's your service provider?"

"Service provider?" Sienna parroted.

"...you did subscribe to a service provider, right?"

"Subscribe?"

"Buy."

Sienna blinked. "You have to buy service?"

Zach stared incredously.

"Wait-" Sienna backpedaled. "You have to _buy_ service?!"

 _This was going to be a long day,_ thought Zach.

* * *

"One day," Mercury promised as he paced around the McDonald's backroom. "I _will_ be the ruler of McDonald's, and then I can eat all the fries I want! For _free!"_

He halted. "Uh...Tiayo?"

Taiyo's earbuds were firmly embedded into his ears and the boy likely wouldn't have heard Mercury if he was screaming from an inch away from him by the fact that Mercury could _still_ hear the music as far away as he was.

Mercury stepped over and unplugged one of Taiyo's earbuds."

"Gah! _M-Mercury!_ I-I though you were Ms. Winn for a s-second!"

Mercury shivered. " _I'm_ glad I'm not Ms. Winn."

" _Anyways,"_ he continued. "You weren't listening to my McDonald's takeover monologue, man!"

"S-sorry, new RWBY album's o-out."

Mercury frowned. "Ruby album? Who names their album after a gem?"

"N-no, R-W-B-Y, RWBY." This time, it was Taiyo that frowned. "I thought you knew it."

"I think so, I've heard of that somewhere before…" mused Mercury. "R-W-B-what?!"

"Y."

"Y-I _know,_ you mean, RWBY? The Team RWBY? The Team on _Remnant_ RWBY?"

"Y-yeah? In the series? RWBY?"

"Series? Like the Vytal Tournament? That isn't really a series."

Taiyo quirked his head. "I was t-thinking more a-anime series...or c-cartoon. I-it's complicated."

"Anime? Cartoon?"

"Y-yeah? I thought y-you knew, calling yourself M-Mercury Black and d-dressing like him and e-everything."

Mercury blinked, a little dazed. "Say what now?"

Taiyo quickly typed into his phone and showed Mercury a photo of a cgi character that looked like-

Well, it looked like a badly renditioned version of _Mercury._ Standing in Tucson's Bookstore no less.

"And this is in a show…?"

"RWBY," confirmed Taiyo.

Mercury promptly fainted.

"M-Mercury?"

* * *

 **A/N: Sry if the chapter seems disjointed as hell. Wrote this over a 2 month per because stuff keeps on popping up. Schedule should be better now that school is finally over (hallelujah!). =)**

 **Beta is bro.**

* * *

 **Omake: Ren can't deal with it anymore**

 **Requested By: Dev the snake faunus**

Ren twitched uncontrollably, his hairs firmly attached to his hair.

"Hon," said Nora. "Please don't pull out your hair. I'd hate to see you bald."

" _Where do these keep on coming from?!"_

He watched helplessly as a pack of _freaking velociraptors_ ruin the forest around what was left of his house (which was not very much).

"Well," Nora picked up a letter that was left next to Ren's feet. "Says here, this Dev the snake faunus guy? What a weird name."

"Tell him to stop, tell him to stop, tell him to stop…" Ren repeated over and over again hoarsely.

Shadowclaw roared in the background.

"There, there, dear." Nora slapped her betrothed on the back, which was near the equivalent of being hit by a metric ton of bricks. "You have to find the positive of things! Or an easy solution!"

"Yes...I can fix the problem," said Ren slowly. "I just need to find Dev the snake faunus...and murder him!"

Nora smiled. "See? That's the spirit!"

Megs the Megavore made a noise somewhere between a cough and a snort.

StormFlower suddenly shot out of Ren's sleeves. "I need to kill something."

"Not the dinosaurs, hon. Go kill some Grimm. And _then_ we can talk about finding this Dev the snake faunus guy and murdering him."

* * *

 **Reviewer Responses**

 **Jack the Spades: Alas, a new chapter finally drops! And they can't. That's the point. Team RSBD hasn't thought about the 'how' in a long time.**

 **IDRF: the road trip's going to get a lot by itself in the next chp...hopefully. Whenever** _ **that**_ **comes out. Ugh, gotta get my updating schedule out of its funk.**

 **Bell Awesome: Yeah, Iris sounds like a pain in the butt to actually be around.**

 **merendinoemilliano: Hellooooooo, it's been awhile!**

 **Dev the snake faunus: ...you better watch out for Ren. Just saying.**

 **Xyander64: Lol. 'nuff said?**

 **DeadLyokoBrony: Welp. Mercury got a little too comfy.**

 **Darkness-Above:**

 **Guest: updated XD**

 **MageTGM: With duct tape. Especially the double-sided yellow ones, lol.**

 **The Wizardous Magicman: Man, that sucks. Hope you manage to deal with your dad and continue your path to getting better (all that anime and video games probably help too). Anxiety is a big pain in the ass, but it's something you can definitely deal with! Sry it took me so long to respond. With regards, Aros. =)**

* * *

 **If ya need me, I'm ArosCao_ARC on Twitter...**

 **Reviews, Favourites, and Follows are much appreciated, as always!**


	28. Announcement

**Announcement: Aka. Please Don't Murder Me...**

I shall not waste thoueth time! RWBY: Time Travel, because why not? haweth been officially canceled and rebooted as 'When You Wage War on the Grimm Queen...Again.'. Why? Thoueth might ask? Well, as thou mayeth tell-

Okay, fuck the flowery language. I can't do it! I was never taught! I shall not pass!

 _Ahem. Anyways._

Yes, RWBY: TT, bwn? has been canceled and rebooted. After a while-I realized that it was an out of control shitstorm. I like shitstorms. When they're good shitstorms. And RWBY: TT, bwn? was...not. It's still an enjoyable read, but as a writer, I can't keep writing for it. There are too many writing sins to speak of in this story. Some of which being the lack of character and backstory for the time-travelers and plotting in the story-which you could see as time passed on. Not to mention how things just _happened._

Of course, it's still comedy (and good comedy, I hope) but I can do better and create good comedy with good plot.

Hence, 'When You Wage War on the Grimm Queen...Again' where I have spent the last weeks working out the lore of Remnant, Ozpin and Salem, and Timeline I (Future) and also watching a ton of RWBY rewrite videos. The latter was mostly for fun.

I'm sorry to disappoint all of you, but I hope for what it is, 'RWBY: Time-Travel, because why not? has been worth your time.

 **Peace out, Aros Cao.**


End file.
